You will heal too!

[[ce...]]

So I had food poisoning last night and spent the day in the ER.  Major bummer. Nauseated, vomitting, diarreah, fever, chills, muscle pain, headaches, dizziness, the works. But at least this time I felt better when I left the ER when in the past (in wd) I only left feeling worse.  As far as ER trips go, it was successful and I had a nice doctor.  I am still recovering, but I know that tomorrow I will feel a lot better and at least I'm no longer dehydrated. The pain I had today reminded me of the wd I went through for over 2 years.  Cannot believe I made it out of that sometimes and it was a reminder of how far I've come and what others are still going through.

 

I hope you all heal soon!

 

Much love,

Cedar

[[Mo...]]

dear cedartree, how on earth did you get this food poisoning ?

 

i am a bit surprised i thought you were doing so well.

take care claudia

[[ce...]]

Hi Claudia.

My husband and I went to a restaraunt where we both got food poisoning.  Anyone can get food poisoning anytime if it isn't prepared properly. We are still recovering today, but on the mend.  Sadly it happens.  Guess we won't be eating at that resaraunt again.  :'(

 

How are you doing?

[[ja...]]

Hi Cedar, oh boy food poisoning not fun. Sorry you and your husband got that. Ive never had it, but my husband has. One night several years ago my daughter and I decided to pick up fast food at one of our local places that has always had great food. My husband loves their shakes and beefburgers. That night my daughter and I decided we wanted pizza instead so we picked up pizza for us and the fast food place for Dad.

 

After about 15 minutes of him eating he started feeling sick. Soon he was deathly ill. And I'm serious about deathly ill. He was so sick all night on the bathroom floor with cramps and vomiting. He started feeling better by later the next day. My husband said he felt like he would rather die it was so bad. Of Course he wouldn't let me take him to the hospital

 

Anyway even though Ive never had it, I saw what he went through. So sorry but glad your feeling better. Have a nice Labor Day.

 

Love Jackie :smitten:

[[Mo...]]

hi cedar,

 

thanks for asking. i am still fighting and its no fun. i have been housebound for the last 5 months

which i did not expect at all.  i tried to do some walking at 5 am when its dark so

nobody can see me.

don't laugh pls but the other i was so lucky because suddenly i thought i was going to

pass out and the  paper boy came along on his bike and had to bring me home again.

but never mind i realize thats the way it goes in my case.

3 years ago i was still skiing and mountainclimbing. what a joke.

 

omg must be horrible to have dinner at a restaurant and end up with foodpoisoning.

thats a joke as well. i hope you and your husband are all right again.

love claudia

 

hi jackie,

i am glad things got a bit sorted out with your daughter. i think becky was her name.

she is lucky to have a wonderful mother like you.

i wish this would be over soon for all of us.

love claudia

[[ja...]]

Hi Claudia, I don't think anyone would laugh at you for not being able to leave your house. At least not anyone on BB, we get it unlike the rest of the world. You'll get better, keep believing your going to be well and you will be. Its a very long and sometimes lonely journey even if your surrounded with family. Sometimes family doesn't understand either. But at least they Love us

 

Take care

Love Jackie

[[Ch...]]

Cedar

Just read you recently had food poisoning.  Hope you are doing much better now (and hubby too)

[[ce...]]

Cedar

Just read you recently had food poisoning.  Hope you are doing much better now (and hubby too)

Hi Charlene.  Thank you so much for thinking of us.  We are doing much better now.  Food poisoning only lasts 2 days.  Benzo wd including tapering lasted 2 years. 

 

Hope you are feeling much better.  BTW, love Jer 29:11.  It has inspired me for years.

 

Much love!!!

Cedar

 

[[st...]]

Hi Cedar,

 

Glad to read that you are feeling better.

 

I dream of the day and dream it every day when I can write my success story here.

 

I wonder sometimes why I feel like my recovery will not happen, I guess because its been so long, my windows have been so short and waves have been SO intense. I am free now coming up on this Monday to my 7th week of Klon. They say its still early but I want to be better as the symptoms of high anxiety and depression jitters insomnia and etc...are really so hard to handle, right now I'm not yet into a new window and this is following an intense wave but I'll take this and hope tomorrow brings improvement.

 

Be well my friend ((HUGS)) thank you always for your story here.

Not Stillstuck

[[ja...]]

Dear Cedar, would you help me write a taper plan from cutting 4mg down to 0. Cutting .125 mg with each cut. I'm horrible with math. I would also like to make a taper plan cutting .25mg unless you think that's to much for my friend. If she could take 2 plans to the Doctor I think that would be best.

 

I spoke with her yesterday and she told me she takes the Ativan 2 times a day, but will start switching slowly to 1 mg 4 x a day to get ready for the taper. I appreciate your help. Of course we might have to go to compounded down the road, but because of cost would like to try and cut while she is on this high mg. What do you think?

 

Love Jackie

 

 

[[ce...]]

First of all, the cost for compounding is no more than it would be for buying the already made pills from a regular pharmacy.  In fact, I even got them cheaper at the compounding pharmacy. 

 

Secondly, I don't necessarily think its a good idea to show your doctor your taper schedule.  You certainly can if you feel you need to, but "most" doctors are extremely resistant to people tapering off of their meds over the course of many months and generally seem to think you can taper over a few weeks to a month at most.  This is what they are taught by the drug companies.  I'm speaking from experience.  My doctor tried to discourage me at ever turn when I talked to him about tapering, so I just stopped talking to him about it.  Of course when I got near the end of my taper I did ask him to write scripts for the smaller doses to take to the compounding pharmacy and he did agree to it which was good.  Basically you have to be your own advocate.  All I'm sharing is don't expect the doctor to be excited about this or on board in any way.  Just a heads up.

 

But, I will see what I can do with a taper plan.  She may be able to make large .25 mg cuts in the beginning.  The only way to know for sure is to try it.  If it proves to be too difficult then she will need to slow it down. 

[[ce...]]

Hi Cedar,

 

Glad to read that you are feeling better.

 

I dream of the day and dream it every day when I can write my success story here.

 

I wonder sometimes why I feel like my recovery will not happen, I guess because its been so long, my windows have been so short and waves have been SO intense. I am free now coming up on this Monday to my 7th week of Klon. They say its still early but I want to be better as the symptoms of high anxiety and depression jitters insomnia and etc...are really so hard to handle, right now I'm not yet into a new window and this is following an intense wave but I'll take this and hope tomorrow brings improvement.

 

Be well my friend ((HUGS)) thank you always for your story here.

Not Stillstuck

Try to stay positive and use positive speech about healing.  Instead of saying I'm "stillstuck", say I'm free!  Try to reverse the bad things you're thinking about wd and not getting better.  You will get better.  No one stays stuck in wd forever.

 

Hugs to you,

Cedar   

[[ja...]]

Thank you Cedar, her Doctor is my Doctor and he knows I'm helping her. He also likes it when we have a plan to follow and I'm happy to say he doesn't care if we need to slow down or whatever we need to do. We are blessed that even though he doesn't understand it he has allowed me to proceed with my plan.

 

I am hoping that .125 mg will be low enough for now. Any lower we would probably have to compound. What if we did a compounded plan of .0625mg cuts and a .125 mg cut plan. That way we can show him both with the understanding of changing if need be on the .125 mg plan and he can pick. Thats what I did and he picked the c/o to 40 mg plan.

 

Would you help me with that? If you don't want to write these to plans out, could you help me understand the math so I can. I just don't want to mess it up. I really appreciate your advice and help.

 

Love Jackie

[[st...]]

I hear you Cedar, I took the name Stillstuck when I joined this forum because at the time I was still stuck on .5mg of Klon. after bad advice from my Dr I had tapered to fast and so hence the name. I can't change the name but when I sign at the bottom of replies I write

Not Stillstuck, to show my freedom from Klon.,

 

Today I'm trying to work more on accepting my symptoms, but its hard. I say OK I'm sad or blue and its a symptom but I still feel it and it doesn't go away.

 

I do at times feel like I'll be like this forever like it my recover it THIS, and I'll never feel better. You words help me to have hope that I will recover as you said no one stays here in w/d forever, so I'll have to think that will include me as well.

 

Thank you

Not Stillstucl

[[st...]]

well,l here I am almost three months off of benzos and feeling kind of discouraged and worried. I have to keep reading positive posts so that's why I'm here at your thread, Cedar. As always, you make me feel better. I don't have anyone to talk to now that it's been almost three months. Family, friends, and doctors don't seem to believe this is withdrawal, even though I tell them what I read. They have the mindset that the internet is not a reliable source for information. I took klonopin for two months, and Xanax for two months so since I was a short term user people find it very hard to believe that my symptoms are from the benzos. I actually read that anything after four weeks is considered long term use. I stopped coming here lately but now I think that might have been a mistake. I need the reinforcement that only this place can give me. I think I'll try to make time to come here more often again. I have so much stress in my life which I'm sure is contributing to my difficulty in healing. Thank you so much, Cedar, for your commitment to the ones who really need you.

Love,

Stevie

[[ce...]]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benzodiazepine_withdrawal_syndrome

 

Read this, maybe it will help validate what you're going through.  I shared it with my family so that they could see it was going to take a long time.  For what its worth, I was still very ill at 3 months off and recovering slowly.  It can take several months to a year to get back to normal.  Don't lose hope.

 

Much love!

Cedar 

[[st...]]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benzodiazepine_withdrawal_syndrome

 

Read this, maybe it will help validate what you're going through.  I shared it with my family so that they could see it was going to take a long time.  For what its worth, I was still very ill at 3 months off and recovering slowly.  It can take several months to a year to get back to normal.  Don't lose hope.

 

Much love!

Cedar 

 

Thank you so much Cedar.

I already read the benzo withdrawal info at Wikipedia....many times. It really does help to read it. I gave my doctor a copy of it several months ago when I was starting my taper. I don't know if he ever read it or if he remembers what he read. I'm glad to hear that you were still ill at 3 months off, not that I'd wish that on anyone but it's good to know that it's possible.

Have a great weekend Cedar. I already feel better just by coming here today.

Love,

Stevie

[[Sk...]]

Hey Cedar.  I am almost done with my taper!

[[ce...]]

Hey Cedar.  I am almost done with my taper!

Say what?!?  That is wonderful SZ!  Let us all know how it goes and be sure to write a success story when you're feeling better. 

 

I'm so happy for you. 

[[An...]]

I hope this reply is going to the spot I intend.  I need to express my gratitude to Cedartree for sharing this story.  I am 30-something days off Clonazepam after a long and choppy taper and a very too abrupt last step.  I had been on for 25 years. 

I just needed to know that someone with long term use is OK after all.  And I thank you for letting me know it's possible.

[[ce...]]

I hope this reply is going to the spot I intend.  I need to express my gratitude to Cedartree for sharing this story.  I am 30-something days off Clonazepam after a long and choppy taper and a very too abrupt last step.  I had been on for 25 years. 

I just needed to know that someone with long term use is OK after all.  And I thank you for letting me know it's possible.

Hi Annie.  How are you doing today? 

I can assure you that you will heal even after long term use. It does take a long time, but its so worth it to get your life back, to feel good, to feel any emotions at all, and to be happy.  Being off benzo's after this length of time is miraculous and I can only see it as a good thing, a blessing. To stay in a cloudy drugged haze your whole life is no way to live.  Its going to get better, but trust in your bodies ability to heal and allow it the time it needs to recover, which I'm sorry to say can take a good year or more to be fully well. 

 

Sending you lots of love,

Cedar 

[[Sk...]]

Hi Cedar,

 

I am almost at the end of my taper and am battling severe worry and stress and high b/p.  I was thinking maybe I should slow it down a bit towards the end of my taper.  I have been dosing once a day for my whole taper and it has been working, so I am not sure if I should start splitting my dose 2x a day for the rest for my taper or just continue 1x a day. 

 

I went to the grocery store and bought all healthy foods to lower my b/p.  I should loos some weight via the diet plan as well. 

 

-SZ-

[[ce...]]

Hi SZ! 

I personally think Klonopin is best split into two doses a day, but thats just my experience with it.  It doesn't last a full 24 hours.  It might be worth a try at least.  If you discover it makes you worse, then resume your normal schedule.  Its all a matter of trial and error.  What works for one person may or may not work for another.  But, also remember that having wd symptoms is par for the course even with the best taper plan.  Most people don't get out of this with no symptoms at all.

 

Anyway, congrats for getting this far.  You're almost out of the woods. 

[[Sk...]]

Thank You.

[[An...]]

Hi Cedartree,

 

I just saw your post - (will figure this posting stuff out!).

 

I had 2 very decent days - tried to take it easy - but that means being away from the house because the Misophonia is the worst when I am home (because that's where the trigger sounds are the most: exposure to a sound makes it a trigger over time) -

 

Anyway, tried very hard to not overdo, it is now part of my daily routine to walk for 30 minutes each day, and of course I eat well.  And then I had the night from hell last night and into this morning.

 

I know healing is not linear.  My brain knows lots of stuff but knowing it doesn't much help my Feeling it when i'm in the middle of it.

The pit I am in today is not as deep as the pit I was in a few weeks ago - I am hanging on.  I really really hate this.  Feeling like a small petulant child in a tantrum.  And I know there's a lot of reeeeealy old stuff coming up - and I just have to get through it.

 

Sorry to ramble.  I'm not good at "weak" or "broken" or anything but invincible.  there is an overwhelming (old) feeling of needing help and no one helping and nowhere safe to go and no way to get help and no one . . .  and I know.  I know  I KNOW it isn't true but it's just a temporary nightmare.  I am giving this one year . . .

 

thank you again - I m sorry to be less than stoic and beautifully correct and coherent