You will heal too!

[[Hj...]]

Thank you!!

[[ce...]]

Cedartree:

 

Thanks as always for caring and supporting me.  I too know it will get better.  I just get scared when it gets bad again.  Today is a bit better symptom-wise and thanks to my kind bb friends I am feeling much stronger.  I have to believe that at a year I will be in a great place.  I will take your word for it.  Thanks!

 

Hoda:

 

Hang in there buddy.  I think we have both been off similar amounts of time.  Be careful what you put into your body as it is a bit fragile right now.  I have made some food choices that didn't work out so well for me either (coffee).  I get rebellious and tired of this thing after so many months and sometimes just say to heck with it.  I always pay a price.  Live and learn.  We are going to make it to the other side of this thing Hoda.  You are a strong person.  What it takes to leave what you know and come to a new country and then to have to endure something like this . . .  not many could do it Hoda, but you keep going and keep reaching out.  You will make it and be richer in many ways for the experience.  I just know it.

TG and Hoda,  Stay strong my friends. You guys are awesome! 

[[ce...]]

Hello Cedar -

 

I have been on BB for a few months now.  I have been going through and reading the success stories.  Your story is inspiring, and somedays reading a success story gives me that hope that I need to keep at this.  I am doing a 5% taper off of Lunesta, and it has felt like forever.  It is definitely the most challenging thing I've ever done, and many times I have wondered if I will ever heal.  I've also wondered if I will even recognize "normal" again when it comes.  I have to believe that I will.  I do admire the people that heal and stick around here to help others.  I definitely appreciate it, as I'm sure everyone else does.  Thanks for your time, and I hope you don't mind me popping in here now and then. 

 

 

Have a good one,

 

 

 

Redeemed

Hi Redeemed.  I love your name!  It's perfect for this!   

 

Thank you for the wonderful message.  Oh buddy, you'll know when normal comes back!  It feels so amazing.  Hope your taper from Lunesta goes better.  I know it was hell for me to taper off of Ambien which is very similar.  The sleep comes back, so don't lose hope.

 

Wishing you all the best!

Cedar

[[ce...]]

Hey Alan, I got your message today.  Let me know what's going on.  I know it's been really rough.

 

Hugs,

Cedar

[[...]]

I hope to encourage those of you who are still suffering in withdrawal today.

 

It’s been 2 years since I took my last pill and my health is great!  At about 9-10 months off I was doing fantastic and could not believe all my symptoms had finally disappeared. The truth is I don’t even think about withdrawal anymore, but wanted to come and share my success story with you all.

 

I was prescribed Ativan, Klonopin and Xanax at different times for about 13 years for anxiety and depression. Eventually I reached a point that the benzo’s were no longer working, so my body was forced to get off of them. At the time I noticed it wasn’t working any longer I was up to 4 mg’s Klonopin a day. At first I went off the Klonopin cold turkey, but that sent me to the ER, so I tapered for about a year. The year I tapered and the year after that I was recovering from getting off the benzo’s were the most horrific years of my life. The withdrawal symptoms were excruciatingly painful.  Some of the withdrawal symptoms I experienced were:

 

Extreme hot and cold flashes

Sweating

Nausea/ vomiting

Body aches/ muscle pain

Extreme sensitivity to hot, cold, sound and light

Shaking/ tremors

Occasional numbness and tingling in fingers and toes

Electrical shocks throughout entire body

Inability to focus on anything (reading and driving was impossible)

Distorted vision and hearing

Hallucinations

Night terrors (terrifying dreams that felt and seemed physically real)

Insomnia (sometimes no more than 1-2 hours a night)

Headaches

Weight loss

Dizziness (unable to walk without holding on to something or someone)

Crawling sensations on the skin

Tooth pain (as though my teeth were made out of metal and metallic taste in my mouth)

Agoraphobia

 

I often wore sunglasses even indoors because light hurt my eyes so much. My ears were sensitive too. For many months even the sound of a pen falling was painful so I wore earplugs.  When I was able to, I listened to TV and radio on the lowest settings. Certain fabrics hurt my skin. My teeth felt metallic and eating foods high in salts and sugars was painful. It felt like every nerve in my body was damaged to the extreme. I was bedridden for a year and wasn't sure the pain would ever end.....but it did.

 

Things that helped me survive these symptoms were:

 

Heating pads

Ice packs

Watching movies to distract from the pain

Eating whole unprocessed foods

Drinking lots of water

Avoiding things high in caffeine like coffee, tea and soda

No alcohol

Warm baths

A deep desire to not let benzo’s beat me

Positive speech

Prayer

 

I read the success stories here and it gave me hope that I would one day recover too. It was very hard to hold on, but I’m glad I did. Life is beautiful now and I am so grateful that I am off all medications and doing well on a healthy diet alone. I don’t need antidepressants or benzo's at all anymore and actually feel better now than I did when I was taking them. Exercise and eating healthy can change your life. It’s hard to do this when you feel so bad, so take small steps and accept your friends and families help. There are no heroes in withdrawal, so don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it.

 

There is so much to say about what I went through, but I wanted to keep this as short as possible. I encourage everyone to stay focused on the end goal of getting off of benzo's and staying off, but please do not stop them cold turkey.  There are so many ways to combat anxiety without meds. I only wish I had learned that before.

 

Healing is possible.  Focus on speaking positively about your life and getting well, also focus on your health rather than stressing and worrying about every little symptom. Eventually they will all go away with time. Even sleep will come back! Your body will remember. What I learned is that when this is over you’ll be much stronger and you’ll appreciate life like never before.

 

All my best for a happy and healthy recovery!

Cedar

 

 

Cedar Tree,

 

 

Thanks for sharing this incredible success story.  I started klonopin when I was 22 years old.  I'm 43 now and did not become "benzo wise" til 2009 when my whole world came crashing down on me and I lost everything.  Amazing what it took for me to do the research!  I've been trying for 3 years now to get off and stay off benzos.  I've learned a lot during this time and made a lot of mistakes, but it's harder when you have a seizure disorder and have taken seizure med too for 19 years. 

 

 

The worst condition I've ever been in was when I was 7 months benzo free after doing an 8 month taper off klonopin after 19 years of klonopin, but I was still on a gaba a seizure med called dilantin so I'm hoping I still have a chance to survive this.  Your recovery was fast to many long termers I've seen.  What an amazing story of hope and victory...Take care...

 

Kian

[[tu...]]

Cedar:

 

Have an opportunity to volunteer at a hospital.  I think this would be great.  I would love to get back into life and be of service to others.  A good "toe in the water" so to speak. 

 

I would have to get all of my immunizations up to date (all of them) like MMR etc and also a flu shot.  Do you know of any reason not to do this while recovering from benzos?

[[ce...]]

Hey Kian, TG, and benzobuddies.

 

I'm so busy right now working full time I can't even keep up with pm's etc.  I guess this is what happens when we recover.   

 

I'll try to get back to all of my lovely friends in the next few days. 

 

Much love,

Cedar

[[Sk...]]

Hey Ceder, I hope you are doing well!  I am making some progress on my taper plan finally.

 

-SkyZone-

[[re...]]

Hello Cedar -

 

I have been on BB for a few months now.  I have been going through and reading the success stories.  Your story is inspiring, and somedays reading a success story gives me that hope that I need to keep at this.  I am doing a 5% taper off of Lunesta, and it has felt like forever.  It is definitely the most challenging thing I've ever done, and many times I have wondered if I will ever heal.  I've also wondered if I will even recognize "normal" again when it comes.  I have to believe that I will.  I do admire the people that heal and stick around here to help others.  I definitely appreciate it, as I'm sure everyone else does.  Thanks for your time, and I hope you don't mind me popping in here now and then. 

 

 

Have a good one,

 

 

 

Redeemed

Hi Redeemed.  I love your name!  It's perfect for this!   

 

Thank you for the wonderful message.  Oh buddy, you'll know when normal comes back!  It feels so amazing.  Hope your taper from Lunesta goes better.  I know it was hell for me to taper off of Ambien which is very similar.  The sleep comes back, so don't lose hope.

 

Wishing you all the best!

Cedar

 

Thanks for your support, Cedar.    It can be tough sledding with this stuff at times.  I'm down to .20 mg of Lunesta.  I don't know what that equates to in terms of a regular benzo, but I'm assuming it's not much.  Things are slowly getting a little better, but I still have a few weeks to go.  I'm midway through week 13 of a 20 week taper.  How are you doing these days?  From your last post, sounds like you're keeping busy living normal life.  I can't wait to be able to say that myself. 

[[gr...]]

Hey Kian, TG, and benzobuddies.

 

I'm so busy right now working full time I can't even keep up with pm's etc.  I guess this is what happens when we recover.    

 

I'll try to get back to all of my lovely friends in the next few days. 

 

Much love,

Cedar

 

Loved reading this. MY heart soars. I knew you made it but now I know you've really made it. What an incredible journey to share with you. 

[[ce...]]

Kian, thank you for the positive message.  Yes, it was an incredible victory and that is the very word I used myself. I believe it was a miracle that I was healed as quickly as I was after so many years of use, just like you.  Sounds like your story is very similar to mine in the length of time, etc.  Anyway, I have no doubt that you will fully recover too! 

 

TG, yes, volunteer work is a great idea!  It will be so rewarding and will challenge you and show you how well you are!  I'm so happy you're doing this.  Also, yes, get those immunizations for them.  You may have a normal temporary reaction, but it shouldn't impede your healing IMO.  I know of others in wd who've had these shots and did okay.

 

Skyzone my man!  I'm so glad you're getting your taper plan going.  Once you have a good taper plan in place, you follow it until you're finally out of the woods.  So happy for you!

 

Redeemed, it sounds like you are getting so close to getting off Lunesta.  I'm telling you your sleep is going to get better once you're off of it.  Great job with the taper btw!  So excited for you! 

 

Greengirl, as always, you know exactly what to say and when.  I love you and your incredible support!  Thank you so much for all you do!!!  Nothing but love my friend.   

[[...]]

the red rash so red tonight in my face and ihave anexity , iam trying to get busy watching tv or do any thing to get away from that

[[tu...]]

Cedartree:

 

Thanks for your response.  I have had so many answers about the vaccinations all over the board.  Had a flu shot last year while in tolerance and not knowing it.  Don't know that I noticed anything unusual (other than the symptoms I was already experiencing in tolerance) from the flu shot I had.

 

I agree, volunteer work would be good for me and I really want to do it.

 

Thanks for the advice.

 

Hope things are well for you.

 

TG

[[Sk...]]

I have been getting rashes too.  The dermatologist sayes that it's just a topical allergy, but it keeps coming back.  Anyway, I hope things are going well for you, Cedar.  I am still chugging along on my taper plan on schedule.  I had a small glass of wine last night.  I enjoy a glass of red wine here and there.  I hope that doesn't interfere with withdraw.

[[...]]

I had a flu shot during my taper and did not notice anything different

[[Sk...]]

Hey Bart.  The doc gave me a penicillin shot unnecessarily and besides my butt hurting for a few days, I don't think it effected my withdraw.  I made sure to eat plenty of cheese and yogurt for the good bacteria to form again i my body.

[[...]]

My guess is some of these new sensitivities are real and some imagined. I think there is a normal variation in symptoms as the healing process occurs and the human mind naturally wants to find external correlates. Sorry to hear about your sore butt. I think the bigger the needle is the bigger placebo effect you get.

[[ce...]]

I have been getting rashes too.  The dermatologist sayes that it's just a topical allergy, but it keeps coming back.  Anyway, I hope things are going well for you, Cedar.  I am still chugging along on my taper plan on schedule.  I had a small glass of wine last night.  I enjoy a glass of red wine here and there.  I hope that doesn't interfere with withdraw.

Hey SZ.  If you do well with the red wine that's okay.  But do be advised that alcohol does work on the gaba receptors in much the same way that benzo's do.  That's why most people don't drink and take benzo's at the same time. It can be dangerous.  And so, it's not usually the best idea if you're suffering a lot in wd.  Just be cautious and take good care of yourself. 

 

I have alcohol once in a while now with no problem, but I don't take benzo's anymore either. 

 

Lots of love,

Cedar

[[ce...]]

LOL, people are talking about sore butts on my thread!  Man, you never know what's going to happen here.     

[[...]]

I'm going to get off my sore butt now and go work out.

[[ce...]]

I'm going to get off my sore butt now and go work out.

   

 

Love ya Bart!  Thanks for the laugh!!! 

[[Sk...]]

.  Thanks Cedar.  I will be cautious about my alcohol consumption.

[[Sk...]]

I just wanted to say thank you for being such a great inspiration to the forum.  Your words are always so tender and meaningful. All good things are a gift from above,.. so you must be. 

[[Go...]]

Cedar

 

You are an inspiration.  I have been reading your blog to find hope that this horror will end.  Will it get better as I get lower in dose?  Since I have had these wd symptoms for well over a year I am starting to worry that they will me er go away.  This is crazy thinking I hope.

 

Golden

[[ce...]]

I just wanted to say thank you for being such a great inspiration to the forum.  Your words are always so tender and meaningful. All good things are a gift from above,.. so you must be. 

SZ, you are such a blessing. 

 

HUGS!!!