You will heal too!

[[Sk...]]

Cedar,..  Are you still feeling better with no withdraw symptoms?  I have had this freight of symptoms showing up out of the blue many years later AFTER quitting benzos.  Thanks again.

 

-SZ-

[[ce...]]

Cedar,..  Are you still feeling better with no withdraw symptoms?  I have had this freight of symptoms showing up out of the blue many years later AFTER quitting benzos.  Thanks again.

 

-SZ-

People ask me this all the time Skyzone. It's true, I have no withdrawal symptoms whatsoever and feel physically, mentally and emotionally better than I ever have in my life. No depression, no anxiety, nothing. I've learned how to cope with stress without pills and that really is something.  It's taken a long time, but I honestly believe everyone can heal, no matter how horrible their wd experience. I walked in the valley of the shadow of death for years and have come out on the other side. Because of this, I believe with all my heart that anyone can.

 

The keys are taper slowly, eat healthy whole foods, avoid alcohol, caffeine, etc. while in wd, exercise when you can, even a walk, distract, speak positively about your healing, only read things on the forum that inspire you to keep going, rest when you need to, baby yourself because this isn't easy, forgive yourself when you make mistakes, listen up when others tell you that you'll heal, pray.

[[Sk...]]

Thank You for this, Cedar. 

[[st...]]

Cedar,..  Are you still feeling better with no withdraw symptoms?  I have had this freight of symptoms showing up out of the blue many years later AFTER quitting benzos.  Thanks again.

 

-SZ-

People ask me this all the time Skyzone. It's true, I have no withdrawal symptoms whatsoever and feel physically, mentally and emotionally better than I ever have in my life. No depression, no anxiety, nothing. I've learned how to cope with stress without pills and that really is something.  It's taken a long time, but I honestly believe everyone can heal, no matter how horrible their wd experience. I walked in the valley of the shadow of death for years and have come out on the other side. Because of this, I believe with all my heart that anyone can.

 

The keys are taper slowly, eat healthy whole foods, avoid alcohol, caffeine, etc. while in wd, exercise when you can, even a walk, distract, speak positively about your healing, only read things on the forum that inspire you to keep going, rest when you need to, baby yourself because this isn't easy, forgive yourself when you make mistakes, listen up when others tell you that you'll heal, pray.

thank you. I am so discouraged lately and am having terrible morning anxiety since cutting the night dose. I feel physically crappy all day. But coming here and reading  your words, helps alot. I need constant encouragement these days.

Stevie

[[Sk...]]

Thank You Cedar, for all you do for us here.

[[ce...]]

Cedar,..  Are you still feeling better with no withdraw symptoms?  I have had this freight of symptoms showing up out of the blue many years later AFTER quitting benzos.  Thanks again.

 

-SZ-

People ask me this all the time Skyzone. It's true, I have no withdrawal symptoms whatsoever and feel physically, mentally and emotionally better than I ever have in my life. No depression, no anxiety, nothing. I've learned how to cope with stress without pills and that really is something.  It's taken a long time, but I honestly believe everyone can heal, no matter how horrible their wd experience. I walked in the valley of the shadow of death for years and have come out on the other side. Because of this, I believe with all my heart that anyone can.

 

The keys are taper slowly, eat healthy whole foods, avoid alcohol, caffeine, etc. while in wd, exercise when you can, even a walk, distract, speak positively about your healing, only read things on the forum that inspire you to keep going, rest when you need to, baby yourself because this isn't easy, forgive yourself when you make mistakes, listen up when others tell you that you'll heal, pray.

thank you. I am so discouraged lately and am having terrible morning anxiety since cutting the night dose. I feel physically crappy all day. But coming here and reading  your words, helps alot. I need constant encouragement these days.

Stevie

Oh Stevie. Read lots of success stories. That's what I did too and it helped a lot because I needed constant reassurance that I was going to survive this hell we go through.

 

Please trust that our bodies are incredible at recovery and you will not always feel this way.

 

Much love to you Stevie! 

Cedar

[[st...]]

Cedar,..  Are you still feeling better with no withdraw symptoms?  I have had this freight of symptoms showing up out of the blue many years later AFTER quitting benzos.  Thanks again.

 

-SZ-

People ask me this all the time Skyzone. It's true, I have no withdrawal symptoms whatsoever and feel physically, mentally and emotionally better than I ever have in my life. No depression, no anxiety, nothing. I've learned how to cope with stress without pills and that really is something.  It's taken a long time, but I honestly believe everyone can heal, no matter how horrible their wd experience. I walked in the valley of the shadow of death for years and have come out on the other side. Because of this, I believe with all my heart that anyone can.

 

The keys are taper slowly, eat healthy whole foods, avoid alcohol, caffeine, etc. while in wd, exercise when you can, even a walk, distract, speak positively about your healing, only read things on the forum that inspire you to keep going, rest when you need to, baby yourself because this isn't easy, forgive yourself when you make mistakes, listen up when others tell you that you'll heal, pray.

thank you. I am so discouraged lately and am having terrible morning anxiety since cutting the night dose. I feel physically crappy all day. But coming here and reading  your words, helps alot. I need constant encouragement these days.

Stevie

Oh Stevie. Read lots of success stories. That's what I did too and it helped a lot because I needed constant reassurance that I was going to survive this hell we go through.

 

Please trust that our bodies are incredible at recovery and you will not always feel this way.

Much love to you Stevie! 

Cedar

Thank you, Cedar. I did another xanax cut this morning and am so scared this time. My biggest symptom now is gagging and nausea..and the feeling of blood sugar drops (gnawing hunger). I live with "what if's" constantly...especially what if I never get better? What if it's not withdrawal? etc etc etc. I never had these symptoms before meds so it has to be the meds. OR I developed more severe anxiety or a new mental disorder. I just can't seem to be "positive". Never was, never will be, I suppose. I'm my own worst enemy, that's for sure.

Stevie

[[...]]

heyyyyyyyyyyyyyy cedar and every body iam 1 yearrrrrrrrrrr of now  iam ok feeling alot good and normall my success story will be posted throw this coming months thx cedarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[[ge...]]

heyyyyyyyyyyyyyy cedar and every body iam 1 yearrrrrrrrrrr of now  iam ok feeling alot good and normall my success story will be posted throw this coming months thx cedarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

 

 

[[ge...]]

hi Cedartree 

 

I have a quick question... Lately I have been having bad cognitive impairments like my brain cannot think outside of what is right in front of me (poor memory, poor concentration) but the most troubling is that I cannot assimilate too much at once or my brain almost short circuits and 'shuts off'. When it gets too stimulated it just goes blank esp. In emotionally charged situations... Can you relate to this? It is quite troubling to me because it keeps me from driving and working....I am about 5.5 months off.

 

Thank you!

[[Go...]]

Stevie

 

I am so sorry you are having these symptoms.  Nausea and stomach pain has been one of my worst symptoms.  There have been time when it was so painful that I thought it should be removed.  It has just been in the last few days that I hav had none or it has been much less intense.  Have you thought about trying smaller cuts?  I did a cross over to Valium and then went to small daily cuts.  I am not symptom free but this method has allowed me to continue to work.

 

Best of luck to you.  Hang in there,

 

Golden

[[ce...]]

Hoda, congrats again my friend! Can't wait to read that success story! 

 

Gettingthere, yes, my mind would shut down when I was overly stressed. My concentration was very poor for a long time after I stopped taking benzo's. Fortunately things have improved more than I ever could have imagined.  I think in time things definitely get better regarding stress and memory.

 

Stevie, let us know how you're doing okay?  I remember being very fearful too. It's a horrible thing to go through.  :'(

 

Hi Golden! 

[[st...]]

Stevie

 

I am so sorry you are having these symptoms.  Nausea and stomach pain has been one of my worst symptoms.  There have been time when it was so painful that I thought it should be removed.  It has just been in the last few days that I hav had none or it has been much less intense.  Have you thought about trying smaller cuts?  I did a cross over to Valium and then went to small daily cuts.  I am not symptom free but this method has allowed me to continue to work.

 

Best of luck to you.  Hang in there,

 

Golden

 

Thanks, Golden. I didn't try smaller cuts although I know from participating in the xanax thread that smaller cuts make more sense. I just want so badly to be off this stuff. I mentioned the valium crossover to my doc. and of course like most inexperienced docs, he didn't go for it saying I'll still have to be weaned off of valium. He doesn't understand this at all. And he expected me to feel better with less and less xanax in my system, which makes no sense to me at all. He doesn't seem to get that it's withdrawal. I was extremely discouraged today, felt almost insane. I expected to feel bad but when it happens I still get ridiculously upset.

But I know there's hope. And the hope has got to come to the surface when I'm feeling bad. And thanks to threads like this by Cedar, I know this is true.

Stevie

[[ea...]]

Cedartree,

I read your story and yes I have every sx you describe and PLUS a lot more.  I cannot shake this deep fear I am somehow different from you and others. I even just wrote one of the senior mods and copmpletly and honestly described a short period of time I went thru earlier today. I feel like Im holding my breath now, afraid she might write back and tell me Im right...I am worse I do need psychiatric help asap!  But if she tells me she feels its all "normal wd" I have decided its time to get ahold of myself. I feel sorta silly and mean-spirited  writing to "the teacher" but I wasnt getting anywhere on the general posts. Everyone has been incredibly kind and supportive. The problem is ME. I want so badly to "get" this and move on and I'm stuck.

    Very frequently, people who write me with encouragement and advice...when I read their sigs, turns out they did not take their benzo nearly as long as I did, or drink alcohol.....  or in their posts, they say something like "oh yes, I had that symptom for a few days"......and I have had the sx every damn second of every damn day. It seems different, you know? I need to hear from people who have similar histories. Maybe I will believe them!!! I feel like a shit even saying this, because I have run into nothing but good intentions here and I will always be grateful. These are such kind and good people here. A part of me doesnt even think I am nice enough to be here! Again - its me thats the problem. Your idea of reading success stories is a good one and I plan to start doing that tomorrow. I will look for people who took benzos a loooong time, like me.

[[ce...]]

I tried to send you a pm, but your inbox was full.  I cannot even begin to tell you how insulting your post was to me and to others who suffer from wd.  Please do go ahead and look for people who took benzo's for a "loooong time" like you. I took them off and on for 20 years (13 of those years nonstop with increasing doses).

 

Anyway, I've seen what people posted to you on your threads and they were good responses. Their suffering is no less than yours. My suffering was no less than yours.  I know you are hurting a lot right now, but this is not the way to go about getting support in my opinion.

 

There have been others who have tried to belittle my suffering. It's like saying what I went through was nothing when it was hell on earth.  I will say this once, you are not the only one who suffers day in and day out "every second of every damn day".

 

[[ea...]]

This is an interesting thread, one that fits me very well lately. Steviefan, I too have a case of the "what ifs", actually mine are pretty much like yours. Plagues me, because my rational mind "knows" the truth (I think!).

    Trouble thinking and remembering...well, I was gonna also comment on something someone else said and now cannot remember who or what! Started to feel anxious and incompetant, but then remembered  how common faulty thinking is with wd. Its like this now, up! and down......Up! and down........ a merry-go-round of being confused and try so hard to catch on. Try to make sense of it all.

[[Sk...]]

http://www.sherv.net/cm/emoticons/hello/colorful-hello-text-smiley-emoticon.gif

I hope you are well, Cedar and I am so glad you gave me the advice to taper slowly.  I am grateful for your determination in getting that into my head as you are correct in that going slow instead of fast is much better indeed.    Thank You.

[[Go...]]

Cedar

 

I know you suffered a lot.  And I think I remember you saying that you just had to proceed.  Is that correct.  It seems that for some the symptoms can go away as tapering proceeds and some not.  Is that right?  I remember someone saying they thought that symptoms were a result of the mix of stress, amount of drug and rate of taper.  That seems to resonate for me but then the wd symptoms can also seem random.

 

For me it seems I just need to proceed at a reasonable rate.  I know I appreciate the input you have provided and I am all ears for your comments.  I also appreciate that you stick around to provide support now that you are done.

 

Thank you so very very much

 

Golden

[[ce...]]

Hello SZ! Glad to hear you are doing well with your "slow" taper.  And, Thanks for the cheerful Hello today!  Hello to you too! 

 

Hi Golden. I don't think that symptoms totally go away as people taper, but they may lessen for some people. I would say symptoms are a result of the drug itself and that outside factors can affect those symptoms. Be careful not to underestimate what the drug itself does. It sounds like you are doing well with your taper right now.

 

Lots of love,

Cedar

[[Go...]]

Thanks Cedar

 

Do you think you start to feel better the less drug you have in your system?  In some ways I feel better but in some ways not.  There seem to be surprises along the way.  Like this recent anxiety that has hit me like a ton of bricks.  At higher doses it was just physical symptoms.  The surprise is that this weekend has been very low activity and seemingly relaxing yet the anxiety appeared.  My husband and I took the rv down to a wildlife refuge to camp and watch birds.  I admit birds are his thing not mine.

 

So did you feel better the lower you went, assuming not to fast.  I am tapering at a little less than 7% every 2 weeks.

 

Thanks again Cedar

 

Golden

[[st...]]

Thanks Cedar

 

Do you think you start to feel better the less drug you have in your system?  In some ways I feel better but in some ways not.  There seem to be surprises along the way.  Like this recent anxiety that has hit me like a ton of bricks.  At higher doses it was just physical symptoms.  The surprise is that this weekend has been very low activity and seemingly relaxing yet the anxiety appeared.  My husband and I took the rv down to a wildlife refuge to camp and watch birds.  I admit birds are his thing not mine.

 

So did you feel better the lower you went, assuming not to fast.  I am tapering at a little less than 7% every 2 weeks.

 

Thanks again Cedar

 

Golden

For me, it's not any easier as I get less xanax in my system. My doctor thought I should feel better but my therapist says no. And I did read that things can get pretty uncomfortable at the end of a taper. I had the same quiet weekend as you and my anxiety was through the roof for the first time since my tapering. Like you, I had alot of physical symptoms but now the anxiety is showing up...much like my "old" anxiety before meds but much worse. And I did read that anxiety does become much worse during a taper.

I haven't been on xanax "long". But I do suffer every single minute of every single day. I'm totally agoraphobic while tapering and much worse off than I was before meds. I don't know why it's so hard on my system but it is.I feel bad for people who took this stuff for years but I seem to have the same severity of symptoms as those who took benzos much longer than me. I spoke to my therapist about this and she said that she's had patients who took benzos for years and actually had no withdrawal symptoms when stopping cold turkey and she also had patients who took them for a short period of time and suffered immensely when discontinuing. She knows that it is a very painful process but she wants me to continue forward. At least she believes me and that means everything to me. We can do this. And thank you so much, Cedar, for being here.

Stevie

[[Sk...]]

I am starting to feel better after a dose reduction.  Is it possible that one feels less withdraw effects even during tolerance withdraw when doing down on small dose amounts?

[[ce...]]

Thanks Cedar

 

Do you think you start to feel better the less drug you have in your system?  In some ways I feel better but in some ways not.  There seem to be surprises along the way.  Like this recent anxiety that has hit me like a ton of bricks.  At higher doses it was just physical symptoms.  The surprise is that this weekend has been very low activity and seemingly relaxing yet the anxiety appeared.  My husband and I took the rv down to a wildlife refuge to camp and watch birds.  I admit birds are his thing not mine.

 

So did you feel better the lower you went, assuming not to fast.  I am tapering at a little less than 7% every 2 weeks.

 

Thanks again Cedar

 

Golden

  If you are able to get in an RV and go birdwatching you're doing a lot better than I was while tapering. That's a good thing!  I never felt better while I was tapering. I was bedridden, unable to care for myself at all. I couldn't walk most of the time, couldn't read, couldn't look at a computer, couldn't formulate sentences, was completely debilitated.  Actually for me, the lower I got in my taper the more difficult it became. For me it was "darkest before the dawn", so to speak. 

[[ce...]]

I am starting to feel better after a dose reduction.  Is it possible that one feels less withdraw effects even during tolerance withdraw when doing down on small dose amounts?

Are you absolutely sure you're in tolerance wd?  Most people in tolerance never experience any periods of feeling better. Sounds like pretty good wd for now.

 

I think it's absolutely terrific that you are feeling better right now btw! 

 

Hope it stays this way!!!

[[Sk...]]

Thanks, Cedar.