You will heal too!

[[ce...]]

Hey Hoda.  How are you doing now?  Hope you're feeling somewhat better. 

 

HUGS!

[[Wi...]]

You are a true inspiration , and gives me hope , thank you

 

willow

[[An...]]

Thanks so much for posting this. I love reading what has helped others. All of your symptoms are the exact some ones I have been having. Thanks for the tips also. Glad to hear it is going to get better.

[[ce...]]

Hi Willow.  Thanks! 

 

Angel, it is going to get better.  So sorry to hear you are suffering so much right now.  It's rotten and that's kindof the way it goes for a long time.  You're not alone though. 

 

Hugs,

Cedar

[[...]]

HII CEDAR, IAM BACK GOOD AGAIN LIK BEFORE THE BAD WEEK IGOT , ICAME TO TELL U WHAT IFEEL AND C HOW EVERY THING GOING.

[[Fl...]]

Cedar, Reading your encouraging posts and how you got off is such a blessings.  Wanted to stop by and say hi and I'm glad I did and also very happy your life is so much better now you are off.  I only read the beginning of your blog so far.  Getting ready for my daughters wedding.

Wishing you wellness,

Flutterbye

[[ce...]]

Flutterbye, oh my goodness, have fun at your daughter's wedding.  Congratulations to your family!

 

Thank you so much and I wish you wellness too.  Hope you have a wonderful time!

 

HUGS,

Cedar

[[Ga...]]

I can't believe how brave all of you are.  I keep telling myself that I can do this.  I need to come off .75 mg of loragepam.  I know coming off lorazepam is not the norm.  I tried switching to Clonazepam on Friday only to be dumped off the bed by the body jerks and leg jerks, hallucinations,  and nightmares.  The doctor never told me what to expect when I switched over.  Is that normal?  He just said to call if I had problems.  So I called and all I got from him was that he wished I had given it more of a chance.  At this point I want to try and come down off the lorazepam.  As long as I keep trying. he will help.  I'm not sure how slow he will accept.  I think he wants me to come off .25mg at a time.  I think that's too fast.  Anyone have a comment on that? 

 

I applaud you all for your strenth and support.  I'm not sure how long to wait.  I'm not doing bad on the lorazepam.  I cut it .25 mg.  7 days ago, but had one day without when I tried to switch to the klon , so am waiting to make sure I stablize again.  Thought I'd give it another day or so.  Is 7 days enough? I want to come off fast, but know better.  I'm sure I'm getting breakthrough anxiety.  My shoulder, neck, and arm muscles are so tight they feel like they are being ripped out of my body.  I think that is pretty norm too.    Been breaking into sweats today.  It's not a hot day.   

 

Thanks for all the great stories.  I'll be so glad when I can put my success story up.

[[ce...]]

HII CEDAR, IAM BACK GOOD AGAIN LIK BEFORE THE BAD WEEK IGOT , ICAME TO TELL U WHAT IFEEL AND C HOW EVERY THING GOING.

Awesome HODA!!! 

[[ce...]]

I can't believe how brave all of you are.  I keep telling myself that I can do this.  I need to come off .75 mg of loragepam.  I know coming off lorazepam is not the norm.  I tried switching to Clonazepam on Friday only to be dumped off the bed by the body jerks and leg jerks, hallucinations,  and nightmares.  The doctor never told me what to expect when I switched over.  Is that normal?  He just said to call if I had problems.  So I called and all I got from him was that he wished I had given it more of a chance.  At this point I want to try and come down off the lorazepam.  As long as I keep trying. he will help.  I'm not sure how slow he will accept.  I think he wants me to come off .25mg at a time.  I think that's too fast.  Anyone have a comment on that? 

 

I applaud you all for your strenth and support.  I'm not sure how long to wait.  I'm not doing bad on the lorazepam.  I cut it .25 mg.  7 days ago, but had one day without when I tried to switch to the klon , so am waiting to make sure I stablize again.  Thought I'd give it another day or so.  Is 7 days enough? I want to come off fast, but know better.  I'm sure I'm getting breakthrough anxiety.  My shoulder, neck, and arm muscles are so tight they feel like they are being ripped out of my body.  I think that is pretty norm too.    Been breaking into sweats today.  It's not a hot day.   

 

Thanks for all the great stories.  I'll be so glad when I can put my success story up.

Garden lady, normally I'd say that cutting .25 mg's Ativan at a time is wicked fast. But, you may get away with it. Only you will know if you can or cannot handle it. If it hurts too much, slow it down. It's that simple.  It's cool that your doc is willing to work with you though.  I had to taper much slower due to my severe wd, but since you've been on it for a fairly short time it might work out.  Only time will tell.  It does sound like you're having some pretty bad symptoms, so maybe make cuts every 12-14 days instead. 

 

Switching benzo's is often very difficult, so if you can stay on Ativan that might be best.  It's good that you know to get off benzo's now and not years down the line.  You'll be better for it.  Benzo's are just about the worst drug I can imagine. 

 

You can do this GL. We're all pulling for you!!! 

[[dc...]]

Thanks you so much for relating your story cedartree. I've been having a dark day, one of those ones where it feels like  it'll never get better and I needed to read something positive.

[[ce...]]

Thanks you so much for relating your story cedartree. I've been having a dark day, one of those ones where it feels like  it'll never get better and I needed to read something positive.

Oh wow, just read your history in your sig line DCB.  Sounds brutal. I'm sorry you're having a dark day. Depression is the worst thing in the world IMO.  Hope you've had some good days.  If you have, remember those for the days when things are really bad.  I honestly believe that things just keep getting better. 

 

Hugs,

Cedar

[[...]]

hii ceder , iwrote this to john and iwant u read it this is my store i tried to make it short

 

i came to ohio 2 years ago and it was so different fore me than my country which is egypt ,

istart my small business and igot all the stress u can get in the life from laws and people and every thing so after 1 year i start feel tide in my stomach muscles and its tide my chest so icant breath good and some scary dreams  woke me up made me feel like ihave hurt attack my heart was racing but that all what ihade so i went emergency room here start my crazy life they give me Xanax and buspar so i toke 5 times the Xanax and i stopped it couz istart feel iam not normal and i hate this feeling then istart the buspar for month but not every and my mistake ic i stopped it could turkey ididnt know how bad is that second day istart feel weird cry fear badly my eyes kinda weird cant breath in my home igot phobia from my house felt like my the walls closing on me so iwent the therapy dr and he said ineed to take the medicine more doss twice day every day couz ihave anxiety and he give me celexa  so itoke one from celexa couldn't handle so didnt take it again , so i toke the buspar but still feel weird so one day idecied stop dont take nothing after 1 month from this devil medicine , and here is my crazy life with the crazy withdraw  went more drs all what they do give me more anti depressing or anxiety medicine but i refused to take any all what they say oh no its not the medicine u have anxiety medicine only stay in ur body 2 weeks and u didnt take that match tell icame here and i found all my friends here and they feel like me so i start feel more stronger to fight and fight i know it wasn't me its this stupid pills they give me and drs dont want admit they make u feel its u make u lose ur confidence in ur self ,iam now almost 8 months off  iam alot batter than before but still didnt completely heal but iam sure its coming

[[tu...]]

Hoda:

 

I like you have been given so much support and friendship by Cedartree.  I imagine this thread gives many people here a lot of comfort and hope.

 

I read your story.  Mine is similar only my troubles started with insomnia and I am about 7 months off.  I can't imagine navigating benzo w/d in a foreign country on top of everything else.  You are a strong person Hoda.  I like you feel like I have improved a lot (not 100% healed yet, but believe I will get there in time).  I agree with you about the doctors.  While I don't blame anyone for where I am (I should've have researched any drug prior to taking it) I have thought time and time again this problem could've have been minimized and the agony lessened if only someone medically (and I visited many of them) would have validated that these drugs could cause such reactions.  Just leave some room for the possibility anyways. Instead, I left numerous doctor appointments feeling lost and like I was losing it mentally with only a new prescription for something else in my hand.  No real answers or help.  Which if the problem was simply anxiety, why I am soooo much better mentally and emotionally off the drugs versus on them and why had I never had any panic attacks or anxiety prior to the drugs.  Insomnia yes, pretty much my whole life I have had trouble "turning my brain off" to go to sleep, but the rest of it was brand new, totally out of character and just didn't make sense.  Thankfully my family knew me well enough to help me keep looking for answers even though I was in a fragile state both physically and mentally for a while.  In the beginning I wondered if this could really be what was causing my problems.  But, as the months have passed and I have continued to improve it validates that this was the problem and that I will soon be fully myself again.

 

Good luck to you Hoda!

[[ce...]]

Hoda, I'm so sorry this happened to you in our country. But, you are not alone in having been deceived.  We've all been told the drug would "help" us. 

 

The good news is that you are 8 months off and you can only get better from here. You've already had so many good days.  Keep looking forward.  I think you are an incredibly strong person. Stay strong Hoda! 

[[ce...]]

Hoda:

 

I like you have been given so much support and friendship by Cedartree.  I imagine this thread gives many people here a lot of comfort and hope.

 

I read your story.  Mine is similar only my troubles started with insomnia and I am about 7 months off.  I can't imagine navigating benzo w/d in a foreign country on top of everything else.  You are a strong person Hoda.  I like you feel like I have improved a lot (not 100% healed yet, but believe I will get there in time).  I agree with you about the doctors.  While I don't blame anyone for where I am (I should've have researched any drug prior to taking it) I have thought time and time again this problem could've have been minimized and the agony lessened if only someone medically (and I visited many of them) would have validated that these drugs could cause such reactions.  Just leave some room for the possibility anyways. Instead, I left numerous doctor appointments feeling lost and like I was losing it mentally with only a new prescription for something else in my hand.  No real answers or help.  Which if the problem was simply anxiety, why I am soooo much better mentally and emotionally off the drugs versus on them and why had I never had any panic attacks or anxiety prior to the drugs.  Insomnia yes, pretty much my whole life I have had trouble "turning my brain off" to go to sleep, but the rest of it was brand new, totally out of character and just didn't make sense.  Thankfully my family knew me well enough to help me keep looking for answers even though I was in a fragile state both physically and mentally for a while.  In the beginning I wondered if this could really be what was causing my problems.  But, as the months have passed and I have continued to improve it validates that this was the problem and that I will soon be fully myself again.

 

Good luck to you Hoda!

And TG, now that we know how dangerous the drugs are, we can truthfully inform our children so that they might never have to walk down the path that we have.  To me that's worth it in itself.  If I can save my child from this nightmare something good has come from it. 

[[...]]

hii,

turtlegirl, thx for ur post , yea cedar she is really sweet heart shes support me always,and u know ihave some days getting week but i always come here to talk with the good friends here which always help me , iwas so normal before itoke this medc all what ihad tide in my stomach muscle when iget stress thats couz my life got change when icame here and open my business plus idont have friends here much like in my country special y iam so social person , but my crazy life start when iwent to the hospital , and what made me more scare after igot this symptomes iwent to more drs all want give me anti depressing and say what ihave is from my brain not the medc couz the medc only stay in my system 2 weeks  which made me freak untill ifound this site here ,the hard thing when iget the fear that what really get me but iam still fighting and iwill alwayes help any body want help from me iknow we can do it just the time is the key fore are normal life keep going we will all be here to help each other .

[[...]]

hii cedar, how ru my friend , last night ihad really bad night iwas stressed from my work and iwent home start feel so dizzy cant lc good with my eyes with anxiety man it was crazy i keep have more dayes good and couple dayes weird but iam still here lol to bother u lol , just kidding will ihope u feel good.

[[ce...]]

hii cedar, how ru my friend , last night ihad really bad night iwas stressed from my work and iwent home start feel so dizzy cant lc good with my eyes with anxiety man it was crazy i keep have more dayes good and couple dayes weird but iam still here lol to bother u lol , just kidding will ihope u feel good.

LOL Hodas, I like it that you stop by. I really hope you feel well soon. You're doing amazing, so have hope.   

[[ge...]]

Hi Cedartree,

I am pretty new here. I posted a while ago at the beginning of my taper.. I was only on .25-.5mg/klonopin a day for about 4 months. I was on ativan .5 before that, on and off, for a few years. I tapered off .25 klonopin over about 5 weeks, but I was having a 'paradoxical reaction' (mostly high anxiety) so I jumped at about .15.  Pretty sure I have been in tolerance for a while before the taper. I am one month off today. The first 3 weeks I did not sleep. My psych put me on many meds to help sleep, but I did not tolerate any of them. I currently take ZZZqil which is the ONLY thing which allowed sleep. My symptoms have been waxing and waning: derealization, fear states, 'tingling/buzzing' in back of head', literally NO concentration (can't drive, hold conversations for long). I feel like I am in a bubble that is never going to pop, if that makes sense. I have stopped seeing friends and going out because my body and CNS literally cannot handle any stimulation or stress.  I understand I am only a short time off benzos, but I guess I am looking for some encouragement, because this takes a toll on a person. My family and friends just don't get how difficult it is, they just say "you are still in withdrawal, give it  time"... but it is SO tiring, and like so many others, I am fearful that I am in the throes of a more serious mental illness or a never ending withdrawal. When your mind is not functioning well, it's hard to convince yourself to stay positive.

 

Anyway,I found your story very inspiring, I read it all the time so thanks for writing it, I'm sure it has helped many!!

[[Ga...]]

Cedartree,  I've read your story. You say it took you a year to come off the Benzos, but you don't say at what rate.  Did you do a really slow tapor.  How many times a day did you take it.  Did you sleep during the tapor?  Did you sleep after?  Give us some more info. 

 

You have responded to me several times and I really apprecaite it.  YOu give inspiration to many on here and I think it is great that you come back to be a positive influence.  Thanks

[[an...]]

Just read your post,it was really inspiring. As I'm on my 2rd attempt at withdrawal using Valium substitute.Today was the first day I have ever felt like I couldn't go on and I have been off and on with depression for 10 years.Nothing I learnt prepared me for this process.

But I'm still here!Thankyou again you and others have given me hope.

Anna

[[ce...]]

Oh Anna I'm so sorry that you've suffered for so long. It is the hardest thing you'll ever go through.  But what I can tell you is that life is far sweeter later on and there is light at the end of this long dark tunnel.  Hold onto that hope. It will see you through.

 

Hugs,

Cedar

[[Ga...]]

I went to a car show this evening.  We have a pink 57 t-bird.  I saw people that I hadn't seen for a year.  It was great.  One woman I met in 1998.  When I met her she was in pain, thin, and for some time was in a wheel chair.  I knew she was having back problems and lots of them,but never really knew all of it.  Now it is 14 years later.  the woman looked great.  the wheel chair is gone, she has gained weight.  SHe finally found a doctor that could read an xray and tell her that the problem was caused because a fusion she had as a child in her back had broken.  IT took her YEARS to find a doctor that realized her problem.  She had surgery, anxiety, and now is living a good life again.  It as an insparation.  Hold on.  There is a life after pain.

[[No...]]

Hi cedertree

  I want to thank you for sharing your success story!

  Everytime, I am dealing with my recovery wd, sx,

  I find your healing story gives me hope, clarity, and

  comfort, that I too will heal. :angel:

    God BlessYou

    Notforme