Wild Soul, Running Free

[[Wi...]]

 

 

  well today I took my 2.5mg and it literally made me feel anger and rage and gave me cold hands... I am beginning to think I would be better off quitting it c/t if this is what valium

does to me.. It doesn't happen all the time ..go figure ,but I never know when it will..

I never had those feelings with the xanax ...Laid down for a bit this evening as I was to grouchy to live with myself like that and ended up  sleeping for a while and now I can't go to

sleep at all .I hurt all over too ...just wish it would go away for awhile and give me some relief.

or a window of hope...my allergies flared up too after I took it as I went to the grocery store and was doing my shopping when the  allergy symptoms hit me along with the rage.

I ended up snapping at my hubby today too...wish I hadn't done that...he was just asking me a question and I bit his head off....I hate this..all of it...

    I know c/t at this point would not be good but I certainly can't stand being this hateful either..

I am considering it though.. keep me in your thoughts everybody..I am trying to be strong and do the right thing here... 

                                                                        Nola

[[Wi...]]

 

        Have not took a nerve pill since Friday..waiting for w/d to kick in...

[[Be...]]

Hi, Nola -

 

So you went ahead and dropped that last 2.5mg of valium on Friday?  I hope it doesn't backfire on you.  At least you know enough about w/d symptoms to know what is going on and that it will pass. 

 

Good luck. 

 

[Guest [st...]]

Nola,

Hope all is going well.  I tapered off xanax and trust me, I had over 50 symptoms during the taper process.  I don't care what Benzo you withdraw from you will get withdrawal symptoms.  Hang tough and let us know how you are doing.

 

Patty  xo

[[el...]]

 

 

   well today I took my 2.5mg and it literally made me feel anger and rage and gave me cold hands... I am beginning to think I would be better off quitting it c/t if this is what valium

does to me.. It doesn't happen all the time ..go figure ,but I never know when it will..

I never had those feelings with the xanax ...Laid down for a bit this evening as I was to grouchy to live with myself like that and ended up  sleeping for a while and now I can't go to

sleep at all .I hurt all over too ...just wish it would go away for awhile and give me some relief.

or a window of hope...my allergies flared up too after I took it as I went to the grocery store and was doing my shopping when the  allergy symptoms hit me along with the rage.

I ended up snapping at my hubby today too...wish I hadn't done that...he was just asking me a question and I bit his head off....I hate this..all of it...

    I know c/t at this point would not be good but I certainly can't stand being this hateful either..

I am considering it though.. keep me in your thoughts everybody..I am trying to be strong and do the right thing here... 

                                                                        Nola

 

Nola,

 

Though you did do a very rapid taper, you have been on 2.5mg for a couple of weeks now. Dropping that dose is relatively high, but not dangerous as far as seizures are concerned. It is equivalent to 0.125mg klonopin, which is what I tapered from, then jumped from. If it proves to be too painful, you can reinstate shortly and go slower, but if you can stick it out without too much trouble, that would be great.

Try not to anticipate too many problems. You have  been doing very well so far, so I don't expect you to have terrible withdrawal symptoms. 

[[Wi...]]

 

 

  Hey everyone!

 

  Nice to know you all are still here for me... Yep I did decide to drop the last 2.5...

I am feeling some effects but not major yet but as I have come to know ,it takes exactly 144hours for me to feel the effect of tapering so I still got about 72 hours to go to feel the full effect... I am not gonna lie ..I am scared. I have had my bad moments though already but they are bearable for me...just don't know what to do if my blood pressure shoots up on me..I can pretty much handle everything else...don't wanna risk of heart attack or anything to go along with all the other stress I got going on...Just trying to grin and bear it right now and hope for the best .. I wanna drink right now so bad or just something to calm me down as I feel my mind is racing and I am having cold chills and neck tightness and just tense all over..that has just got worse this evening..I guess if the valium hadn't gave me anxiety to begin with I probably wouldn't have stopped taking it...Just figured I would see what would happen if I didn't take it..

    Has anyone got any suggestions of what I could take herbally to help get me through all this..I am using the rescue remedy spray and that has been getting me through but I feel the anxiety slowly breaking through that too....I have used it twice today already and bout to use it again and after the 3rd time I heard it was pretty useless....I used to take valarian and that helped a lot but not sure it is safe to take right now until benzos are outta my system..and then there is kava kava and of course happer camper...just don't wanna risk having a reaction at this point either..

  The pharmacist said it would take about 7 days to clear the med from my system..I am thinking "yeah right" whatever! that is only half life ..that doesn't count all the damage it might have done while you where taking it ! and all the healing that has to occur until you are back to normal..if there is such a thing as normal.. just kidding.....

  I am rambling on again....thanks for the replys and I will continue to post daily and let everyone know how I am doing .I feel the worse is yet to come but am using all my strength to get through this...thanks for the support...

 

p.s. I got my cylinder today...dont know if I am gonna need it or not..

                                              HUGS>> Nola

[[Be...]]

Hi, Nola - 

 

I imagine it must be difficult waiting for that benzo shoe to drop.  Try not to anticipate having a bad time of it; in fact if you can turn that around and make affirmations about how you are going to be fine, you can handle whatever it is, etc., it really will help.

 

The Valerian is safe to take in recommended dosages (on the bottle) and won't interfere with your taper.  Since it worked for you before - it doesn't for everyone - and is safe, it sounds like a good bet.  We pretty much all use strongly brewed chamomile tea to calm down and some are able to sleep after drinking it.  It doesn't put be to sleep but it does help with the occasional anxiety.

 

Good luck to you.  Hope you will be coming back cautiously optimistic throughout the week. 

[[Wi...]]

 

    Hey Beeper.

 

So far so good..I am doing alright..I have my bad moments but they don't linger long..

actually I am doing better off the valium than when on it..

The rescue remedy spray is helping me too. I will try the valarian if things get bad for me.

I wish I could do the chamomile but I am allerigic to it ..I envy those who can drink the tea as I really love the taste of it and the sleepytime tea..

  I am optimistic now more than ever ...but yeah,still awaiting the benzo bomb to be dropped on me..thanks for the input..

 

                        thanx ...Nola

 

 

[[Be...]]

I am optimistic now more than ever ...but yeah,still awaiting the benzo bomb to be dropped on me..thanks for the input..

 

                         thanx ...Nola

 

 

That's the best news I;ve had all day, Nola.    Hope you continue to feel that way. 

[[Wi...]]

 

 

    ..well I sure am glad of that Beeper....

[Guest [st...]]

 

Hi, Nola,

 

You sure are one tough woman.  More power to you.  Hope the symptoms aren't too bad.  Please keep us posted of your progress.

 

Patty  xo

[[Wi...]]

 

    hey Patty

 

well I don't know about tough right now..

I just know it is something I gotta do..

the bad w/d symptoms have hit me this evening after taking a livercare capsule.

I haven't took it in a while but decided what the heck..

big mistake!!I am now having all kinds of w/d effects..

since I have fatty liver I hated not taking my livercare as it helps with energy and all.

and helps cleanse the liver...

well it must have speeded up the process of getting the benzo outta my system..I went to the YMCA and done cardio for 45 minutes and it started there...

I was at the grocery store when it got bad...

my eyes started messing with me and my balance is off ,I had a freezing spell ,my chest feels kinda tight and my right side is burning possibly where I had surgery or the livercare is still working on getting something out..feels like I have a knot in my throat too.I have used the rescue remedy twice tonight and I might take a valarian if things get too tough for me...gotta sleep as I got to work tommorrow..

  Just thought I would let yall know how things were going for me and they are not great but I can get through this..I got too..I feel a good cleansing coming on after all this stuff I know that much...

                  thanks ...hugs.. Nola  (formerly a xanax_slave)

[Guest [Vi...]]

 

    the bad w/d symptoms have hit me this evening after taking a livercare capsule.

I haven't took it in a while but decided what the heck..

big mistake!!I am now having all kinds of w/d effects..

since I have fatty liver I hated not taking my livercare as it helps with energy and all.

and helps cleanse the liver...

well it must have speeded up the process of getting the benzo outta my system..I went to the YMCA and done cardio for 45 minutes and it started there...

I was at the grocery store when it got bad...

my eyes started messing with me and my balance is off ,I had a freezing spell ,my chest feels kinda tight and my right side is burning possibly where I had surgery or the livercare is still working on getting something out..feels like I have a knot in my throat too.

 

 

Hi Nola,

Yes you hit the nail on the head there, this is exactly the process that occurs when using any kind of detoxifying method, be that a drug, supplement or suana, even having a massage can do it. 

It's not the substance themselves that is the problem, but the fact that it causes the body to go into a higher state of withdrawal; as well as removing toxins it also removes some of the drug/s from the liver and fatty tissues; this is what precitpitates the excessive symptoms.

 

 

..........I might take a valarian if things get too tough for me...     

 

There is a new school of thought that because valerian has a mild binding affinity for benzo receptors, it may have the potential to affect benzo withdrawal, although this does not mean that it definately will. 

If you notice that it causes an overdrive of symptoms after taking it, this will be why.

 

[[Wi...]]

 

Hey all ,

just thought I would update you...

Last night I was in so much pain I didn't get to sleep till sometime around 5am.with my right side..had diarreah for 2 days now also..woke up this morning in a full adrenaline rush..

Well I went to the doc just to get peace of mind more or less of what was going on..

He said I had prob pulled a muscle from the exercise I had been doing and mentioned that I might a little irritable bowel going on.So needless to say I did reinstate today(I took 5mg valium)as I didn't want to go to the doc in such an anxiety state that I couldn't understand what he was saying to me..I am still in pain and gonna have to take a pain pill to help with that and those give me anxiety too so I am really in a catch 22 here...

  He also suggested digestive advantage for the IBS..something I have never had until now..

part of w/d..that sucks..

  I guess I could have done this if I wasn't in so much pain with my side and everything and now I got IBS!!great...

  I also had depression really bad this morning along with crying spells that didn't help matters none...

  gonna do the titration  this time since I got my cylinder.gonna start back on the 2.5mg and get stable for 2 weeks and go from there....

  i am disappointed in myself already but I just had a setback thats all ..I will get there someday soon...

just though I would update you guys and gals ..Im hanging in there though..

 

  thanks for your support...hugs 2 ya..Nola

[Guest [st...]]

Hi Nola,

 

I had very bad withdrawal symptoms while taking and tapering off  Xanax.  Every day was h*ll but I knew in order to get my life back I had to continue the tapering process.  As I have said a few times on this site I had about 50 withdrawal symptoms.  I will tell you this, I would do it all over again because my life now is almost back to normal.  No one escapes withdrawal symptoms.  I refused to put any type of supplement in my body during tapering.  I wasn't going to take a chance of a setback.  The only thing I did take was chamomille tea at night.  I also noticed that if I overdid any type of activity it would increase my anxiety symptoms.  I don't know why this happened but I also have read this happened to other people as well.  Wishing you the best, Nola.

 

Patty  xo

[[Wi...]]

 

  Hey Patty

thanks for your support.my internet has been down here for the past couple of days and finally got it back on.I really missed posting here yesterday.

    I am having an adrenaline rush right now..my hands are sweaty and all.I am having a hard time at the moment...Gonna try and be strong ...thanks..

 

 

 

 

[[Be...]]

Hey, nola. 

 

Those adrenaline rushes are very uncomfortable.  I had them off and off for months and took several showers each day because of the intermittent sweats.  However, I can't even remember the last one so I can attest to the fact that it is w/d and will pass.

 

You posted on the 10th that you reinstated 5mg.  I assume that meant you took 5 mg, not 5 mg in additiion to the 2.5mg you had been taking, is that right?.  Are you still at 5 mg or did you go back to 2.5mg?  When you get a chance, please update your signature box.  If you forgot how to do it, here are some instructions:

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=9432.0

 

Hope you're feeling better.  Did you and hubby get into the Biggest Loser challenge at the Y?  How's that going?

[[Wi...]]

 

  Hey Beeper,

 

Yeah those adrenaline rushes suck..thats for sure..my hands start sweating and my chest feels

weird and I am sure my b/p goes up..

  Here is what I am on now....

nothing from Sept 6th(sat) till the 10th ..took 5mg as symptoms were so bad..on the 10th

2.5mg on the 11th....today had to take 5mg....

I am trying to get my blood levels where they should be before I start to taper again as 2.5mg is not cutting it for me right now...I am teetering I know but trying to like I said get my blood levels back up to what they were before the taper...

Yesterday I was having sharp shooting pains in the back of my head,stomach burning,

I am still having cold chills too...

  what about those adrenaline surges.?are they not bad for your heart ??

I could deal with em if I knew it wasn't gonna be bad for your heart as I read that too much

adrenaline can damage your heart...that makes me wanna taper a little slower because of that.

I am a worry freak anyways and when I am in an anxiety state that just intensifies...funny though ..I didn't used to worry about anything much at all..

  I dunno..a lot of questions still running through my mind but unable to concentrate on them..

what else can I expect ? so I won't freak out here.I consider myself a strong person and I can deal with a lot if I know I will be ok in the end..ya know? 

  I am doin this but at the same time I gotta be able to function too..

thanks Beeper ..I am glad I am not alone in this experience with these darned adrenaline surges.you been through it already ...I am only beginning.....

 

                            thanks for the support... Nola 

[[Be...]]

Nola -

 

It takes a good while for valium to build up to 100% in your blood because it has such a long half-life.  If I understand you correctly, you are staying on 5 mg. until you feel more stable.  Going back and forth on your dose (2.5 to 5 back to 2.5 back to 5) has undoubtedly made your symptoms worse.  I recommend you stay on the same dose for at least 10 days before starting to taper and then just cut .5mg down to 4.5mg.  Stay there for 10-14 days and see how you feel.  I really do think a slow taper is the way to go to minimize symptoms.

 

I had had my heart thoroughly checked out a few years ago so when I started getting the adrenaline rushes, I didn't have any serious concerns as far as my heart was concerned.  If you are worried about your heart, by all means get it checked out.  I'm pretty sure what you are experiencing will not damage your heart but I am not a doctor, just a fellow sufferer on the journey.

 

Hope things settle down for you soon. 

[Guest [st...]]

Hi, Nola,

 

What you experienced is very normal during the tapering process.  Maybe you should be checked out just to ease your mind but I am sure it is all withdrawal related.  As I have said a few times on this forum I had at least 50 withdrawal symptoms.  I had fluctuations in blood pressure, heart palpitations and a heavy pounding heart.  I did not worry about them because I did alot of research about the withdrawal symptoms.  I took them as they came.  Hang in there, Nola.  You will make it.

 

Patty  xo

[[Ke...]]

Nola- I don't know how to do all of the fancy quotes, so just a good old fashioned cut and paste from your post from your blog:

 

Here is what I am on now....

nothing from Sept 6th(sat) till the 10th ..took 5mg as symptoms were so bad..on the 10th

2.5mg on the 11th....today had to take 5mg....

 

Nola:

 

After reading your post, I think you will find a lot of comfort in a consistent taper.  From what I see, you are bouncing around with your dosing and that is causing you to feel crappy.  You really need to be consistent with your dosing or your body and CNS will not adapt.  You have the right attitude, but you have to commit to a consistent taper.  Just my opinion. 

 

Be well,

 

Keith

 

[[Wi...]]

 

Hey there Keith,

 

yeah I know I gotta be consistent..Just hoping I could get by with the 2.5mg but that is not happening right now ....reinstating is tricky for me ..just gotta get my stable point.I  only bounced around for one day though since I c/t and when I got back on em..I went without anything for 4 days if you read my signature...other than my c/t which on my part was stupid....

I am so glad to hear from you and know I got more support...thanks so much ..

 

      hugs to ya!... Nola

[[Wi...]]

 

 

hello everyone.

  I just wonder how do I deal with the w/d and at the same time being there for my family.my kids don't understand why mom is so disconnected at times and so out of it with my mind being in a daze and the constant freezing one minute and hot the next..

  I feel like I am letting them down and so dysfunctional..no emotion when there should be some..I am just so bored with all this and the way I feel..so ready for it all to be over ..

I am so impatient with all this benzo gabba-yabba stuff..

gotta work all this week too and wondering how I am gonna be able to function with that...

I feel so depressed at the moment and at the same time anxious too..go figure..

I am unable to make descisions at the moment and just kinda am just here thats all.

not wanting to be interactive with anyone and they must have sensed that cause I haven't gotten a call all day..sometimes I really feel like I am doomed to be 

  when I am at my worst I tend to be a hypochondriac and think that everything is wrong with me.I can't watch med shows or anything like that as it will stir up thoughts of me having whatever they are talking about...I really hope this is all benzo related and not the true me..

I dont even know who that is anymore...

It was hard for me to get up today knowing that noone but me was home..hubby went to work and the kids not coming home till tonight..I did clean some on the house and done some laundry and been reading here on the forum of other peoples experiences and getting some insight ..I just wanna lie back down and rest and do nothing at all but eat and sleep..

  can only hope tomorrow is better for me....

i am just so darned depressed right now...

[[Ke...]]

When you get down, find a way to put yourself in a good place.  It may be music, a movie or some type of meditation.  Also, do everything in your power to help stabilize your taper.  If you have not already done so, start a journal and track your progress.  That will help you identify triggers of good and bad spells.  I learned early that staying on a regular schedule was good for me.  I also learned the hard way that alcohol and tapering do not mix at all.  This is just me, but I learned from my journal. 

 

Keep the faith Nola, you will be fine.  Small cuts and be consistent- you will find the finish line! 

 

Keith

[[Wi...]]

 

 

    thanks Keith,

  all I've wanted to do is sleep over the weekend.I fell asleep while ago watching tv and got up hungry.just haven't been able to satisfy my appetite today at all either...

  gotta get myself on track for the week to come..I own my own little buisiness I guess you

could say and I clean houses and carpets and I have to interact with new people quite a bit and when I am having a bad day that is really hard to do..ya know..right now I do have my oldest daughter helping me and that takes some stress off me somewhat..

  I have only had 2.5mg valium today and wondering if I need to take the other 2.5mg as all I wanna do is sleep anyways.so I am undecided on that..was hoping to stabilize on 5mg but  am wondering if I really need that much or just go with the flow..I dunno ..my brain is not functioning right now at all...the kids are in bed and hubby is about to go and I will be left up

alone to deal with my demons..I am so tired too mentally.all I can hope for is that tomorrow will be better and I hope I can sleep tonight ..I am trying to stay away from the alcohol too.

my hubby is drinking tonight but not me..I don't even wanna go there...

  I try to tell my oldest daughter what I am going through and she says momma I know ,I know.but I know she hasn't a clue.I tell her never ever take benzos or any of the other form of them ...she is there for me somewhat  I guess..after all she is a teenager (17) and got her on

things to do..I really hate to ruin someone elses day because I feel like crap and need a shoulder to lean on..I am so self-dependent and so self-destructive at the same time...

oh well ,it has got to get better..sorry to whine so much..I thank you all deeply for letting me do so though...I barely have enough energy to type all this so I guess I will go for now and try to do something to unstimulate my mind and maybe get some more rest...music sounds good..I may listen to my meditation music and see how that goes..or I might watch a movie.

I dunno but I'll do something..thanks again...