Wild Soul, Running Free

[Guest [st...]]

Hi, Nola,

 

Way to go.  Yup, it was great to realize that all our problems were related to the benzos.  I can see that you are using your deep, inner strength to forge on.  I wish you all the best for a happy outcome.

 

Patty  xo

[[Ke...]]

Hey Nola =)

 

Sounds like you are doing quite well.  You have a great mental approach to this which is really important.  I read through your posts and your taper sound similar to mine (except you have bionic nose and I have bionic hearing!).

 

Do not anticipate what may happen in the future.  Nothing says you are going to get slammed with w/d!  I am proof of that.  In fact my symptoms have been easier to deal with each cut.  My hypothesis is that with each cut, my body is is withdrawing from less and less of the benzo.  I am not symptom free, but knowing what to expect and keeping a positive attitude is a big factor for me in minimizing the impact of the symptoms.

 

Keep up the good work and good luck, I think you will be fine!

 

Keith

[[el...]]

Hi Nola,

 

I'm glad you are doing ok, but are you sure you don't want to take 7.5mg for a few days before dropping to 5mg?

Valium having a long half life, these chunky cuts may not have hit you fully yet. It would be much better to ease off of it a bit more. You have enough to do this, as I said above.

 

TC!

[[Wi...]]

 

      Hey Eljay,Patty,and Keith.

 

  Well I am still doing alright I think..I still get the cold chills along with the cold hands and feet but haven't had a shaking spell in a week or so.I do consider that progress..

I did have about 20 minutes of anxiety this eve but it went away.(thought I was gonna have to take my night dose early but I managed to get through)..I have been on the 2.5mg 2x day for 3 days now..wouldn't that cut have caught up with me by now? I was thinking it would...

I am starting to feel better and my blood pressure is still good..My allergies and sensitivitives

are much better too...I just took the other 2.5mg of valium a few minutes ago..and have been using cal/mag to help me sleep and so far no probs...I did drink a few beers last night and thought I would have bad effects today from it but I didn't and was very surprised.I dunno .

 

      Thanks Eljay for your concern and the dosing info ..I think I will make it alright.If I have any problems then I will be sure to post em here ..

      And Keith that is so weird about the bionic senses isn't it.? Have never thought of it that way.lol... It is getting better though ...don't know whether that is a good thing or a bad thing..

        And Patty ..yes I am giving it all I got..inner strength/mind control or what ever you wanna call it....haha...thanks for your support/reply...

        I really appreciate it folks...kinda dizzy at the moment .I think it is the valium..Kinda short of breath too..oh well I know it will pass.Normally when I get anxious or feeling weird

I just get up and start cleaning house.. but unfortunately I have got 5 gallon of beans to break....JOY! so I better get started.....

 

      oh yeah .How do I change my screen name?can anyone answer?

 

          catch yall tom night.... lots of hugs ..Nola  (AKA) xanax_slave

 

       

 

     

     

[[Be...]]

Hi, XL.  Glad to meet you.  Sorry you have to be here but you are in good company.

 

I had been on ativan for nearly 20 years for anxiety and eventually it stopped helping with that and contributed to depression as well.  I started tapering off in February and took my last dose on 7/13.  It feels good to be free.  You will have to change your username someday.   

 

I'm feeling pretty smug about that earlier post I made.    BTW, I'm pretty sure an administrator would have to do it for you but start thinking up what you want to change it to. 

 

I'm so glad things are going so very well for you. 

[[Ke...]]

Thanks for the update Nola   

 

Your attitude will make this whole process a lot easier!!  I'm also glad to hear you were able to maintain your schedule.  I consider that a moral victory over the drugs.  You control them and not the other way around.  I had 4-5 times when I wanted to take my dose off-schedule, but I didn't.  The symptoms passed and I was stronger for it.  I think you will find the same thing.

 

Also, although everyone reacts differently, I would be extra careful with the alcohol.  I like my drinks as much as the next person, but I had a very bad spell of w/d's after drinking.  Most people here would recommend no drinking during the taper.  Up to you though.

 

Hang tough,

 

Keith

[[Wi...]]

 

  Hey Keith..

 

  I took my 2.5 last night and it made me sleepy. After about an hour I had to lie

down..funnny;it used to take 10mg to get me to do that...I am droggy this morning too  .

I gotta get going here and get woke up .. LOL.

  Yeah and I am the type of gal I don't like to be controlled esp by drugs.

as my military daughter has to say ....HOOAH.. and Pain is only weakness leaving the body..

  I do like my alcohol though when I go out and sing Karaoke especially and I know that

I will have to work on that...It helps me unwind.but I do plan on keeping those occasions few untill I am completely off the valium...

    Yeah ,,I am starting to feel good about all this now...

for once I do feel like I am in control...not the drugs controling me..I am hanging tough..

 

                                        thanks again... Nola

 

[[el...]]

Drinking alcohol while tapering is not a good idea, as it can really exacerbate withdrawal symptoms.

 

But drinking while taking benzos period is not a good idea! My ex boyfriend died accidentally last fall from an alcohol/benzo combo. I'm sure it was a lot more than you do, but still, you need to be so cautious with these two substances.   

[[sc...]]

Drinking alcohol while tapering is not a good idea, as it can really exacerbate withdrawal symptoms.

 

But drinking while taking benzos period is not a good idea! My ex boyfriend died accidentally last fall from an alcohol/benzo combo. I'm sure it was a lot more than you do, but still, you need to be so cautious with these two substances.   

 

You know, I'll admit I never believed this when I read this before I began tapering, until I found out the hard way. Eljay is correct! it DOES INDEED make Withdrwawal symptoms worse. I'll admit I have slipped a couple times in my taper and each time I've paid for it badly..

Please be careful XS.

[[Wi...]]

 

  Hey everyone

 

    I do understand about the alcohol situation and beleive me I know my limits..

I am very careful..I don't plan on making it a habit at all...I am starting on a strict diet Monday.

The diet I was on during May-July..I lost 30 pounds..It is also a detox diet and that put me

through literal hell.. Talk about withdrawel..The natural detox doc I was going to put me on the diet and charcoal caps ...bad ,bad,thing...can't take benzos and charcoal caps..It  put me into full  blown withdrawel.I almost didn't recover ;as charcoal caps soak up anything that is inorganic...I didn't take as many as he told me too..He had me on about 20 dif herbs/vitamins.

  He said I had an overgrowth of fungus in my body and I was gluten intolerant and above all

my liver was toxic .and I had a high risk of leukemia..well that done it for me..I went on the diet and did everything I was supposed to and went through hell every day...I didn't know what was going on and he didn't have any idea about benzos and what they can do to the body..

but I did lose 30pounds in 9 weeks..that was the good side..bad side ..I went to the ER too many times to count with all the side effects I was having..chest tightness,breathlessness,dizziness,bp going sky high...heart palpatations,and too many other stuff to mention...well I already knew I had allergies and everything got worse when I went outside so I was literally a prisoner in my own home for about 4 days..I was taking zyrtec,4 benedryl a day,and chips off of the xanax constantly..

    So withdrawel hell was all I went through for about a month and a half...He told me to take

L-theonine and wean off the xanax...yeah right..that stuff made me shake inside....ok..

He said if I did drink anything to only drink pure high quality vodka and only on occasion..

not regularly..Well I had to have gallbladder out in August and that helped a lot so of course .

With my pain anyways...so therefore I threw my diet out the window for a while until I healed from surgery.And have drunk my vodka on several occasions while tapering with no ill effects as long as I don't over do it.I used to have to take more nerve pills when I drank esp if I was singing karaoke and always done fine with it....My cousin on the other hand pops xanax like candy and drinks and snorts hydros(pain pills up her nose) along with ritalin..Its a wonder she is still alive as I have seen her so messed up she could hardly hold her eyes open much less carry on a  conversation and she is on so many meds it aint even funny including seraquil.i worry bout her all the time but she don't care enough bout herself to quit so why bother..but I will always love her no matter what she does...I just hate what she chooses to do to her body.

  I know,I know ,gonna have to cut drinkin out untill I am done tapering..I plan on it so don't worry bout that...I am just trying to be honest here...no holding back..My hubby is bad influence on me as he drinks every day...but he is supportive  in his on way and all he knows is  he wants his true wife back..not the moodswinging  hatefull b**** that I am when I don't have my nerve pills..Bless his heart .now I know partially why he drinks.. ;)NOT!!

  I am going to the gym monday and start my workout routine and see if that helps...

I did have a few bouts with mild anxiety today but managed to get through them just fine..

forgot to take my morning dose and ended up taking it about 2pm today ..I was having weird

sensations in my head and thought that would help but it didn't ..so been having em all day off and on.. also had hot feeling come over me too where I just felt like I was running a fever or something..that passed within a few minutes to an hour...other than that everything seems to be ok...must be from the taper I made on tues...

  I appreciate all the advice everyone ..I am gonna be just fine .I am gonna do what it takes..

I have come this far...no turning back now...

  I plan on tapering down to 1 dose a day of 2.5mg valium starting monday and see what happens...then I should be off them within another week or so..hopefully...

                                                    sorry so long of post...

                                                    hugs....thanks bunches... Nola  (AKA) xanax_slave

 

[[tr...]]

Hi Nola,

 

After all you've been through you seem to be doing really well with your cuts and wd. Like most of us once you've been through hell you don't want to go back. 

 

I went to an acupuncture dr. that thought he knew what was wrong with me and put me on all kinds of vit/herbs/who knows what that made it all worse.  I threw it all out once I figured it out myself and stopped paying him a small fortune.  One dr. lies and says I'm sick and another one lies and says he can make me well.  It's no wonder we'll never look at drs. the same again.

 

Take care of yourself and remember, wd (withdrawal) can continue quite a while after you stop taking the drugs so you should watch what you drink during that time. 

 

Hope 

 

[[Wi...]]

 

  Hey there Tropicalsoul..

 

    You are telling the truth about doctors..I am fed up with em..either they tell you that there

is nothing wrong with you or they wanna give you drugs so you will stop whining ..after all ..

I always heard a squeaky wheel gets greased eventually...

  This is my opinion only...you have to be responsible for your own health and doctors

are there for back up or when there is major malfunction..the body is a complicated peice of

art and only you know how you feel and when something ain't right...

  I do beleive in getting checkups as they are important ..they let you know how your body

is working ...so everyone please get your physicals/checkups every year..

 

                                        just my 2 cents......

 

[[Be...]]

Hi again, Nola.

 

Just one quick suggestion: try not to overdo it at the gym Monday.  Regular mild exercise is very beneficial during withdrawal but you don't want to overstress your system.  When I start an exercise routine, I often overdo it at first and then am so achy and sore I seldom continue. And when you are tapering, it's even more important to go easy.

 

BTW, have you been thinking of what you want to change your username to? Eljay said she can do it for you whenever you want. 

 

 

[[Wi...]]

 

  Hey Beeper. and everyone else...

    I am just planning on getting on the treadmill Monday and see how that goes..Prob start out

walking a mile or 2 .I did go swimming for about and hour Sat as I took the kids there..The chlorine bothered me though .I just can't stand to smell that stuff and it is not good for anyone at all.I messed up last night .My hubby and me went over to the neighbors to watch the bristol nascar race and me being the only one not drinking succumbed once again to the vodka..

Well I ended up going to bed around 4am this morning .I took my night dose of 2.5mg .eat

and went to sleep ..I did not get up till 4 pm this eve..either I was very tired or that night dose really kicked my but..I couldn't beleive I slept so long...Well needless to say I didn't get my

morning dose in today .I just took my night dose at around 10:30 tonight..now I can't sleep as I slept too much today...I am the only one up right now and gotta get up early tom..

  I hope sometime tonight I can get some rest ..Gonna try to do some housework and maybe wind myself down some and see if that helps..I have just been so tired today and needed the rest...No more alcohol for me until I finish the taper .Me and hubby start on our diet tommorrow to..He failed his endurance test to get the job we so desperately need and they are

gonna give him another chance in about 4to6 weeks.So he has gotta get his exercise induced heartrate under control ..in other words he is gonna have to do some areobics..and I am gonna do em with him...We are gonna get into shape together..We need for him to get this job..There is nothing else around here .Times are hard right now for a lot of people..He worked 18 years for Collins & Aikman formerly Textron automotive .Well they shut down last Dec and so did 2 other plants here in our town.Automotive industry is not good right now..He thought he would retire at that place... ....

  He is devoted to doing this and I am proud of him for that..I just hope he can cut back on

his drinkng beer or at least leave it to the weekends only..That is not cheap either when u drink an 18pack a night like he does..I wish he would quit altogether .He is also trying to quit smoking which will help him tremendously on his endurance...

  I am sorry I am just rattling on now...Gotta lot of stuff on my mind I guess..

 

as for my new usename...I am not sure....if anyone has any suggestions that would be great but right now my mind is blank....

 

  Thanks again.... Nola

[[Be...]]

Hi, Nola.

 

Sounds like you are doing pretty good except for the drink slip.  I guess it reinforced for you that you can't tolerate alcohol while tapering.  It is tough, though, when everyone else is drinking.  Maybe you can come up with a wonderfull non-alcoholic concoction to drink so you don't feel too left out.  I love virgin daiquiris; kind of like a grown-up slushy I guess. 

 

I'm glad you and hubby will be exercising together. That's something I think is easier to keep doing if you have someone else depending on you to do it with them.

 

As to your new name, there's no hurry.  The only reason I think it's a good idea to change it is you are no longer a slave to xanax.  Something more reflective of the true you would be nice.  But look who's talking; someone who chose "beeper" for a username. Gad, what was I thinking?

 

Hope you both have a great week and you get some sleep tonight. 

 

(BTW, could you not use a light colored font next time; that orange was hard for my old eyes to read tonight. Thanks)

[[Wi...]]

 

 

    HEHE ...sorry about the orange fonts..Did not know it was gonna look like that...

Is this better.....

    I am now tapered down to 2.5mg of valium a day and seeing how it goes..

I did have a short dizzy spell while driving today but other than that I am fine..

  I had to drive in the rain about 50miles or so this morning to go and get my daughter and that in itself makes me nervous,esp on winding country roads..I was anxious I ain't gonna

lie about that and thought I was gonna have to break down and take my devil pill but I didn't.

  I made it through and the rain stopped and I calmed down ...

Having periods of hyperness and silliness today...acting silly and my teenage daughter just looks at me several times and says "mom you ain't right" or "you so crazy".. In a fun way

though... ...

  I may have to stay on the 2.5mg a day for a week or so then I am gonna space it out ..like one every other day and so on and see what happens....

  The support here is great and switching to valium for me has done wonders as I am pretty 

much calm most of the time now .

  Something else I noticed was that my right eye wants to twitch or jerk or whatever u call it..

I had no trouble sleeping last night either...I  started getting sleepy around 2 and laid down

around 3 but didn't want to get up today until about 11..wow I was so groggy and lazy..

  all I can say is  :yippee: ... I am well on my way....hope I am not premature in saying this...hope this doesn't come back to haunt me..I know I will have to deal with PMS soon and God bless my hubby and kids as that can be pure H*** for me..

  Right now I could jump up and down with energy and excitement.....If my achy joints would

let me  ..

     

        Talk at ya'll lata....        thanks again..            Nola

[[Wi...]]

 

    OK..well I was a bit premature..I am having withdrawel symptoms .Starting yesterday

I went totally balistic on both my daughters..I chewed them up and spit them out..

Then of course I felt better afterwards and they had it coming and bless their hearts they

understood too.I had a very bad anger moment..

  Today I had to take my 2.5mg early as I woke up in anxiety and weird feelings in my head which got worse after I ate..

  Been feeling like crap all day...with bouts of anxiety and fatigue...Wanted to go and work

out but havent been feeling up to it at all..

  The weird feelings in my head really bother me as I don't know what it is leading up too.

I also have had a headache off and on today too.Parts of my brain feel like they are humming

or buzzing if that makes any sense ...what is that all about..is it w/d or healing?And my gums are sore and hurting as if it is my teeth....cold icey hands that come and go and breathlessness at times....since yest....

      I am wondering if I tapered too fast and if I should reinstate back up to 5mg a day or just deal with it..

      I know I am fixing to go through bad PMS which makes everything just worse all the way around....

  Great ..one good day and next day is bad...

 

            can anyone tell me what I should do.?...thanks bunches...hugs to all. .Nola

 

[[Be...]]

Nola 

 

This is so typical with benzo w/d: feeling pretty good and then getting whacked.  Every one of the things you mentioned - anger, anxiety, weird feelings in your head, fatigue, chills (or sweats), headache - are common w/d symptoms.  If you are pre-menstrual, that could be contributing to feeling crappy, too. 

 

If you can tough it out for a few days, you could feel much better. However, you have been going pretty fast and may feel it more here at the end.  If things don't improve markedly in a few days, by all means go back to the 5mg. and cut more slowly.  It's totally up to you, however.  Only you know what is too much in the way of symptoms.  Maybe if I felt the way you do I would think it was unbearable and I'd reinstate without waiting a few days. 

 

I know this is not a definite answer to your situation but that's unknowable for either of us. Kind of trial and error. 

 

Hope you already have some allieviation of symptoms by tomorrow. 

[[Wi...]]

 

  Hey Beeper

  Thanks so much for responding quickly....

I am hoping all this gets better but since I took my dose this morning around 11:00am

I am feeling it start to wear off more and more....I am worried about getting some rest tonight

as I have gotta get some rest "gotta work tommorrow" ..

  The weird feelings in my head and stuff I can handle .My biggest fear is I am gonna have a seizure..and that my allergies get so bad that I can't leave my house much less smell any

chemical.that has already happened once.Other than that  I can handle it....I am gonna try to make it through the night and

see what happens although it is a possibility that I may have to take another 2.5mg tonight.

  I do not function well without my sleep.I don't see how other people handle it at all...

I am so achy too...all over .just feel like crap.. .my hubby is trying to quit smoking too and between him doin that and me in w/d... my home is not very happy at the moment..

  my appetite has been outrageous today too.which totally screwed up my diet and exercise plan.. ..oh well..thanks for helping me out Beeper..I just needed some reassurance here even if I already knew what was going on ..but when your brain is going whacko it is hard to grasp the situation..

 

                                                                  Thanks...Nola ( hanging in there)

 

 

[[Wi...]]

 

  Well I have not had to take any more valium other than my 2.5mg daily..been making it ok..What's funny is I feel worse for a bit after I take it ..anyone know what is up with that..??

  Struggling with an extreme appetite and extreme tiredness all at the same time...the tiredness is awful to deal with as I have so many things that need done..of course the extreme appetite doesn't help either when all I wanna do is lay on the couch when I get home and do nothing..

  Maybe this is a depression phase that I am going through ..benzo related maybe..?

I know I can't stand not having the energy to get up and go..Don't wanna start drinking caffeine as that will make w/d worse on me..I may go and take my mega b-complex.Haven't took it in a few days and it does seem to help me with energy and doesn't affect me as far as w/d.I guess I am lucky there...huh? ...Well just thought I would update everyone and to let you know I am holding steady at 2.5mg still daily..This fatigue is gotta go though...I would rather

have  anxiety than fatigue.. ....ummm..I think I would anyways. .

 

                                                          hugs to all...  Nola (xanax_free)

 

[[sc...]]

 

  Well I have not had to take any more valium other than my 2.5mg daily..been making it ok..What's funny is I feel worse for a bit after I take it ..anyone know what is up with that..??

  Struggling with an extreme appetite and extreme tiredness all at the same time...the tiredness is awful to deal with as I have so many things that need done..of course the extreme appetite doesn't help either when all I wanna do is lay on the couch when I get home and do nothing..

  Maybe this is a depression phase that I am going through ..benzo related maybe..?

I know I can't stand not having the energy to get up and go..Don't wanna start drinking caffeine as that will make w/d worse on me..I may go and take my mega b-complex.Haven't took it in a few days and it does seem to help me with energy and doesn't affect me as far as w/d.I guess I am lucky there...huh? ...Well just thought I would update everyone and to let you know I am holding steady at 2.5mg still daily..This fatigue is gotta go though...I would rather

have  anxiety than fatigue.. ....ummm..I think I would anyways. .

 

                                                          hugs to all...  Nola (xanax_free)

 

 

Hi Nola,

That is great you are at 2.5!

I've heard of people feeling worse for a bit after taking their dose, that's defiantly not that uncommon at all. It happens to me from time to time, but not too much. I can too relate with the extreme tiredness feeling. When I first started my taper before I came here I was dry cutting, and I got that as well. It got to the point sometimes where I literally felt like I was gonna just plop over as I was walking (I never did though!), but couldn't get the sleep I need at night to fix it!!.

Very frustrating, but it eventually leveled out, and while still get periods of it, it is not as bad now. I'm sure it will get much better for you

You are very lucky you can handle the B vitamins during this!! that is great.  I can't do it, as I get all jittery and anxiety ridden like I drank 4 cups of coffee 

 

Listen, you are doing FANTASTIC!! I am very happy for you. Things will improve a lot for you!! Keep up the great work! 

[[Wi...]]

 

  Thanks Scott ,,

  I tell you ..I really wonder sometimes if it is the benzos or if there really is something wrong with me..   took my b-complex time release and felt much better..

  Hey it has got to get better than this....I really am grateful for this forum and everyone who has helped me ..it means a lot to me to be able to tell someone about what I am going through and be understood and not labled as "Its all in your head" kinda thing...well ..you know what I mean...like I am whacko or something...

    I hope I can control the anxiety when it comes back . I had it for a few years before I actually got on meds for it...I downloaded a bunch of meditation music to listen too .It is so relaxing for me..I went to sleep with it last night...aaaaaahhhhh..

  Hopefully I will be able to deal with it in a positive way this time around....

 

                                    hugs to all ....Nola

 

[[Be...]]

 

       I hope I can control the anxiety when it comes back . I had it for a few years before I actually got on meds for it...I downloaded a bunch of meditation music to listen too .It is so relaxing for me..I went to sleep with it last night...aaaaaahhhhh..

   Hopefully I will be able to deal with it in a positive way this time around....

 

                                    hugs to all ....Nola

 

That meditation music sounds great.  Are you able to listen to it during the day if anxiety creeps up on you?  I think I need to get some soothing mediation CD's for nighttime.  I kind of shied away from them after the last one where the guy's voice and the background music grated on me.  Would you tell me more about the ones you like?

[[Wi...]]

 

  Hey Beeper..

 

  I downloaded a bunch of meditation music off of limewire.Just google Limewire and download .I think it is the 3rd one down from top of list...

  I have a bunch now.. unfortunately they are all on my computer..but you could add them to an MP3 player or make a cd .I just haven't done it yet... .but I do let it play on my puter at night and go to sleep with it on...

  I like nature sounds,zen meditation,relaxing solitudes,realaxation,music for massage(inner peace)Enigma-black moon dance,yoga guided meditation,echos of time meditation. and so on...

  just download the free version,and when you do just ignore the upgrades and you can do a search and find what ever kind of music you want... just go to genre and look up meditation.. if that is what you are looking for or type in artist and do a search...

    Thanks for the reply ....hope this helps.........

 

                                                          Hugs.... Nola (almost benzo free)

 

[Guest [st...]]

Hi Nola,

 

You are doing great by hanging in there.  Nothing stood in my way of tapering even though it was difficult at times.  I am feeling so much better off the Xanax.  It is still touch and go but very manageable.  Keep up the great work.

 

Patty  xo