Sleep Quality Tracker started by Antibenzo7

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Hello nightengale 

 

Nature appears to be cruel. But cruelty is a human idea. Eat and  be eaten, is the way in nature. Of course it's a very sad sight. I totally understand how you felt! I couldn't kill a fly but do eat meat...the way of modern man.

 

I looked at the weather forecast for Colorado: it's going to be really warm later in the week. So just hang in their for one more day. Summer is coming. We had lovely weather today.

 

I went for a longer bike ride this afternoon.  One hour and 40 minutes ( 30 km). It made my back pain almost disappear! Now that the weather ghas improved, I 'm going to dore more biking and less walking. My feet hurt too much.

I felt tired when I got home, but a nice tiredness. Nothing like the chemical exhaustion caused by benzos.

 

Who I am to criticise someone desperately trying to sleep? We all must do what we think is best. But I 'm so glad you didn't take Ambien more than once or twice! Benzos are bad! We can all testify to that, right?

 

 

Wishing you a nice Sunday!

 

TS

 

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Good day, it is another rainy day, which is taking sogginess to a new level. The trees are happy.

 

TS, I know nature can be quite savage. As you said, you would not kill a fly, but you eat meat.  When I was in high school, I went to a slaughter house to apply for an office job. The smell of death/blood was so overwhelming, I walked out without ever filling out the application.

Yet, I grew up on a farm and my dad raised livestock. We knew they all ended up being sent to the "stock market." 

 

On a happier note, I slept for three hours straight last night! Woohoo! That has not happened for a long time. I was awake for quite some time after that, but did get some more sleep, finally.

This morning, I walked for 20 minutes and did some PT. At one point, in bed, my knee felt quite normal.

 

Today is Memorial Day.  I read about Bob Hope and his commitment to the service men and women starting with WW2. Bob was an amazing man with a great heart when it came to making days brighter to those in the military.

 

TS, that was quite a long bike ride.  Those back muscles enjoyed the exercise.  I'm glad your feet don't hurt. Biking definitely is the way to go  for exercise.

 

I only took one 10mg Ambien, one time.  Would I have taken another if I had slept? I have no idea.  I am relieved that I didn't sleep after I took one.

 

NG

 

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Hi nightengale,

 

Wooh! So glad your had better sleep last night!  Congrats!  Makes for a much better start to the day.

 

Stock market - nice eufemism for Slaughter House...

 

Our wet days are over (for now anyway ). Lots of sunshine and nice temps. Boy, life is so much more fun on days like this.

 

Went for a  short bike ride today

.

Here's  a video I saw  yesterday.  Hope you  like it.

 

 

TS

[[va...]]

I'm in a wave and have bad insomnia lately so you're not alone nightingale.

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Hi Val 

 

Sorry to see you're in a wave. I wish you a large window asap!

 

Hope your sleep improves quickly.

 

Keep trusting and hoping all will be better.

 

Trochsetter

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Thank you Trotsh! 

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valiumnomore, insomnia is such a difficult thing.  I wish your sleep to come back soon.  I feel like my recovery would be so much better if I did manage to sleep on a fairly regular basis. 

 

TS, that's a a great song, as I know it well. Thanks for sharing.

 

Today the rain is gone and the sun is shining. It's going to be a great day.

 

I heard a noise outside my window at 3 am so got up to investigate. Actually it was several noises ending with a loud crash.  I wondered if it was human made, and bravely went forward. ha

I turned on two different outside lights and saw this very large raccoon. It looked in the pond for fish then came right up to the window I was looking out of. It stood on its hind legs trying to see me, as I had lightly tapped on the window.  After a minute or so, I banged on the window and it ran off. 

This morning, I went to investigate what made the loud noise. I had two large sea shells on the window ledge, which the racoon had knocked off. They fell onto the window well cover.

 

After that, I never even came close to sleeping again.

 

Today I have PT, so need to get ready for her visit.

 

NG

 

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Hi nightengale,

 

Never a dull moment when it comes to animals! I wonder what's next...

 

Hope the PT went well.

 

Try to enjoy the nice weather!

 

We had wonderful weather too! Went for a bike ride twice today. Felt great!

 

Sleep well tonight,  without some beast disturbing it.

 

TS

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Good day,

 

TS, the bike ride twice sounded great! It's June, which usually brings nice weather with it.

 

PT isn't until today. Holidays always mess with my schedule. 

No animals disturbed me last night.

 

I started reading a book called: The Sleep Book by Dr. Guy Meadows. 

 

Someone recommended on BB, so thought I would give it a try.

 

Not much sleep last night with the new way of doing things. A lot of what I read followed through with what TheWay2 suggests.

I'll keep reading and trying out what's in the book.

 

NG

 

 

 

 

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Hello NG,

 

Went to the dentist this afternoon to have some dental work done. The filling of one molar needed local sedation. Now my left cheek and lower lip are numb. Drinking some water ended up in me now having a soaked shirt ...

 

I hope the book works for you. The more boring,  the faster you'll fall asleep. 

 

One day soon your sleep is going to return to normal: the way it used to be. 

 

Enjoy your day. Hopefully you can get out on the deck in the shade and listen to the birds singing.

 

TS

 

 

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Good day TS, the sun is shining and the heat is on.  My sleep last night was par for the course.  I finally put a sleep video on and did drop off a couple of times.

There was nothing going on yesterday/last night that would disturb my sleep. The new book on sleep is maybe messing things up.

 

Dental appointments are never fun when there is Novocain involved.  The dribbling is a definite side effect.

 

This morning I walked for 20 minutes. Giving things up because I am tired seems so pointless.

At least walking boosts my mood a bit.

 

NG

 

 

 

 

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Hi nightengale,

 

Well, at least you got some sleep. Amazing how you can sleep when there's a video or audio playing. I'm sure I could never ever do that.

 

Good of you to continue going for short walks! Glad they lift your spirit somewhat.

I didn't walk for 6 days to give my feet some rest. It worked! This morning I went for a walk again; hardly any pain or discomfort !

This afternoon I took my bike for a ride. Lovely weather, the smell of newborn hay, birdsounds gallore! Life can be wonderful at times.

Mowed the lawn this evening. Now I 'm tired, but in a nice way.

 

Hope you enjoy your day!

 

Sleep well!

 

TS

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Hi guys, today I'm a candidate to this lovely group again as last night I went back to three hours sleep. As I have to keep working and dealing with so much stuff, very little sleep is agony. I wouldn't mind if I could just sit around all day. I'll keep playing the lotery. I wanted to share that what I do is read the way II again, watch TV, listen to audio books, and listen to 8 hour sleep meditations by Thomas Hall. Still, insomnia is hellish. It makes me even more depressed. The reason for the insomnia is that the wave makes me completely wired, as if electricity was running through my body, and with high anxiety. I wonder if it's the same for you guys.

 

Nightengale I'm always amazed at how many of you Americans live in nature and I must confess very jealous at all these encounters with animals as part of your routine. I live in a two bedroom apartment but I'm lucky at least the forest is a short drive away. I hope your knee keeps improving. When I can't sleep I think of you, you're such a tough cookie when it comes to that.

 

Trotschetter it must be so glad to finally be off the benzo. I bet this summer is going to be much better than the last one for you.

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Good day Val and NG,

 

Not sleeping enough is a very exhausting thing. Especially when it's been going on for such a long time. Somehow the mind is starting to dread nighttime. Which makes sleep even harder to come (and  stay). You start to fret on it: what am I doing wrong, what else can I  do. The best thing to do would be just letting  go. But that's so much easier said than done. Voila; the spiral it's so hard to get out of.

THINGS WILL GET BETTER! Keep hoping and trusting!

 

Because of the warmth my 2 last nights didn't bring much in the way of sleep. Too hot and sticky. It's going to be cooler in the next couple of days, so sleep will improve I guess.

 

Val, I haven't quite finished my Diazepam taper, but almost there! Yay! I feel really good. Still quite a few physical issues, but no anxiety.  That stopped after I started taking Paxil in May of last year. So last year's Summer was OK as is this one. Going to take my last crumb of Diazepam in 16 days time.

 

Hope you ladies had a better night.

 

Enjoy your day!

 

Stay strong!

 

TS

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Hi Trotch! Glad you don't have anxiety anymore. That's such a plus. I've been of ssris for many years so I'm avoiding that again, but I know they're the solution for many people and I'm glad to see you happy.

 

My sleep yesterday was better. About 5 hours and a half. After the previous three hours I deserved it. I really wouldn't mind insomnia so much if I didn't have to work, but the bills keep piling up and I have to work. I hate that. Being in this condition we should just be allowed to lay around, but such is life.

 

Nightengale I hope you are getting a little sleep tonight and that your knee keeps healing. I admire the way you manage your husband's condition in spite of such little sleep and of you knee operation. I'm sure living in nature recharges you a bit. Have a decent day both of you. I just taught an English class online, now off to physical therapy (I go every day paid by my insurance), then another class, then house chores, cooking etc, then meeting online with my accountant for the tax declaration, then another class and then I'll rest. When I can't sleep I watch gossip TV. I love to see people talking about dumb stuff when I can't sleep. It makes me worry less about important things.

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Hello Val,

 

Wow! That’s so good: 5,5 hours of sleep! Congratulations! 💐🌺🌷🌼

You surely deserved that. May this good night be the first of many more to come.

 

You do have a lot on your plate ...not sure I could handle that. I applaude you for doing all that!

 

Don't forget to take some rest every now and then. Rest and recovery are important in healing!

 

Take care!

 

TS

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Good day TS and Val, congratulations on the 5.5 hours of sleep, Val! Woohoo! Hopefully this keeps up!

When I kindled, and slept so very little,  I still had to keep teaching.  It was not easy.  I just put one foot in front of the other and somehow made it through. 

 

My sleep went away after I tried a different way of lulling myself to sleep two nights ago. Last night I went back to my usual deep breathing and thinking and so did sleep maybe 3 hours. Better than the 1 hour the night before.

 

My knee keeps improving, but so far the stiffness hasn't gone away. My PT said that is the biggest complaint from her knee replacement patients, so I am not alone.

 

Val, I have periods of anxiety, but they come and go fairly quickly.  I can usually take a few deep breaths and calm myself down that way.

Perhaps taking care of a spouse with Alzheimer's helps. Summers are most difficult for me, as he goes out and about trying to do things, which mostly he can no longer do. I find things half done with parts strewn about, unfinished.  Two days ago, he came carrying in an old bow saw from my mother's farm, which belonged to my paternal grandparents from 1850.  He said the saw needed fixed.  When I went into the garage, it was taken apart and left in pieces on the floor. it's a old bow saw, so not many pieces, but this is how things go anymore.

I picked everything up, put it all in a plastic bag and hid it under the bed in the guest BR. I'll take it out when my husband is busy outside and put it back together again.

 

I love nature. We have a bullfrog that has taken up residence in our pond. He is fun to watch every day in his quest to catch insects. I was surprised that he wintered over in the small pond, after appearing out of the blue, one day last summer. The closest lake is at least three miles away and across a busy four lane highway.

 

Hang in there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[va...]]

Good morning Nighengale and TS.

 

Nightengale, your place sounds like a fairy tale with the racoons and that frog that comes back out of nowhere. I wonder what he did all winter?Does he have friends to hang out with?  In any case, I bet he gets more sleep than we do. Nightengale I saw you despaired a couple posts ago and wanted to throw in the towel as you'd slept on hour. I understand and it must be so hard for you. I got about four and a half hours last night and I worry so much about it but Trotsh and I look up to you as you are able to write beautiful posts on so little sleep and go about with your life. I'm glad you slept a bit more last night. I hope when you wake up you tell us you got a few hours. Looking after your hubby sounds a bit between stressful and sad as you never know what he's going to be up to. But you sound strong and collected. I live in constanct physical pain from lumbar and cervical stenosis and then I have a lot of glutamate damage from a bad benzo taper crash two years ago and very little support to raise my daughter. My life is so hard that I often think that in ten years, when she's finished college and a good masters degree, if I'm still like this or worse I'll just give up and leave this world. I don't think it's a terrible thing to think of. It doesn't make sense to be suffering every single day of your life. But I will stay here for as long as she needs me. I love her to pieces and she keeps me going. I keep going for her. And for my cat haha, you can see her on my avatar, her name is Sheyna. I used to get up very depressed if I slept four hours but this group has taught me that four hours is great, and for that I thank you  Now at 9 am I have a class, then at 11 another class (saturdays only two or three), and then at five pm I have to go get my vaccine to the other side of the city. I can't drive now due to my back so that'll be about 80 euros round trip by taxi but they offer a 30 euros discount if you are traveling to get the vaccine so down to 50. My daughter will accompany me because in my condition I can't stand long. I carry a folding stool with me, tied over my shoulder with a belt. I feel a bit self conscious about it but who cares, I just need it. Have a nice day both of you. I'll check on you later.

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Good morning Val,

 

I 'm very sorry you have so much stuff to deal with. Like I said before and I 'll keep saying it; you're a really strong woman to be having all this problems in your life and are handling it so anazingly well! The same goes for Nightengale! Both you ladies are an example to us all!

Reading through other posts on BB, I can only draw one conclusion: benzos make us fighters! We will not let them beat us!

 

I had hoped today was going to be your day off, on which you could relax. But no, still there's work to be done.

Sunday is a day of rest, mind you!

 

Good luck with your vaccine.

 

Wishing you a nice day, less pain and more sleep! X

 

Trochsetter

 

 

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Good morning Val,

 

I 'm very sorry you have so much stuff to deal with. Like I said before and I 'll keep saying it; you're a really strong woman to be having all this problems in your life and are handling it so anazingly well! The same goes for Nightengale! Both you ladies are an example to us all!

Reading through other posts on BB, I can only draw one conclusion: benzos make us fighters! We will not let them beat us!

 

I had hoped today was going to be your day off, on which you could relax. But no, still there's work to be done.

Sunday is a day of rest, mind you!

 

Good luck with your vaccine.

 

Wishing you a nice day, less pain and more sleep! X

 

Trochsetter

 

Hi Trotsch! I love teaching languages. When I have a whole day with no classes I get super depressed. But I don't like the days with five classes either. Three classes a day is perfect but not enough money to live on. Hard to find a balance!

 

I'm not sure if we're strong or if we just don't have a choice. I think it's probably the latter. How did you sleep Trotch?

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Hi Val,

 

Last night sleep was good again. Less warm in the bedroom.

This morning around 5 am I woke up to the sound of heavy rain!  Later on mixed in with mild thunder.

It's dry now,  but cooler. The rain washed the pollen away, so that's a bonus.

 

I used to be a teacher. Elemantary school. I've always had a love for languages. So I get your point about teaching languages. I live in a bilingual province of the Netherlands. Frysk is my first language, Dutch is second, English third, German forth. Finally some Afrikaans. Three years of French went out the window. Not much left of that.

 

Enjoy your teaching.

 

TS

 

 

 

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Good day, TS, that is great you had some good sleep, last night.  A cool bedroom helps so very much.  The rain and mild thunder sounds nice.

 

How interesting that you, Val and I all were in the teaching field. I taught high school consumer science.  I taught other science classes, but CS was my favorite.

Being fluent in so many languages is impressive.  I wish I was fluent in more than English. 

 

Some years ago, I took a year of Swedish at the university. I was quite determined to learn this language, but it never happened.  I can sometimes read Swedish and know what is being said, but not always. 

 

 

Last night I slept maybe an hour. That was towards towards morning, when I finally gave up and listened to a sleep hypnosis talk down.

In all honesty, I am at a loss as to what to do.  I thought about trying CBD oil with THC, but changed my mind because I have no clue about the stuff.

There are other supplements people on here take that seem to work, but so far I have not tried any of those. 

I am concerned about becoming dependent on something else. However, I can't keep going on like this. 

 

This is one of my down days.

 

On the plus side it is 88 degrees F out.  I finished planting my garden!

 

NG

 

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Hi Nightengale,

 

Yes, that's really interesting. All three of us having a background in teaching!  And still we got fooled into taking benzos... Goes to show we're never to old to learn: don't trust pills that mess with your brain!!

 

Sorry your sleep was a mess again. Wish I could do something to help you.

All you can do is trust and hope things are going to improve.

 

My sleep was about a 5 or a 6 last night. Falling asleep took quite a while. I woke up twice during the night. Extremely vivid (sex filled) dreams in the early hours of the morning . My libido had been virtually non-existing for ages, but is coming back over the last couple of months. Oh well, another sign of healing, I suppose.

 

I remember you telling me once, you have Swedish roots from your mom 's side.  So I guess, that's why you took lessons in Swedish. There's simularities in Swedish, Norwegian, Danish and Frysk. More or less (distant) cousins.

 

Hopefully you slept better last night. You sooo deserve it!

 

Have a nice Sunday!

 

TS

 

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Good day, I slept a little better last night and actually went to sleep not long after I went to bed.  I took a half of a 400 mg magnesium at bedtime, so maybe that helped. I woke up an hour later and was awake until around 3, when I listened to a sleep hypnosis video.  I tried a couple and finally slept for 1.5 hours on the last one I found.

I may go to the vitamin store and buy some L-theanine  and a different kind of magnesium. 

TS, we did get fooled by the benzos. I was given the script by a well meaning  doctor in the late 1990s. That was before google so I only knew what she told me, which was Ambien will put me to sleep and clonazepam will keep me asleep. There was no mention of what it would do to my brain receptors, nor did I know enough to ask.  I remember being happy I was finally getting some much needed sleep.  Looking back, my sleep was quite normal, with an occasional restless night, maybe 2-3 nights a week.

 

Some years later, I had been seeing a new doctor, when I saw his PA, who stated that I would need to go to a drug rehab place to get off of the meds I was taking.  I remember being shocked and a little offended by his comment.  I was maybe half way into the almost 20 years of taking benzos.

 

What I did learn was that I should have asked the doctors questions and then more questions, but I did not. 

 

TS, five-six hours of sleep is not bad.  I remember having the vivid sex dreams and thinking it is good that no one knows what I was thinking, as I could be arrested for my thoughts. lol

 

My mother is full blooded Norwegian, my dad was half Swedish and half German.  I really wanted to be able to speak another language, but that ship has sailed.  In high school I took Latin, but beings no one spoke it outside of the class, it went right out the door. 

 

Indeed if I could learn one Scandinavian language, I would be able to understand the others. 

 

It is warm and cloudy today. 

 

NG

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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8)Hello nightengale,

 

Congratulations on a better sleep.  Might well be the magnesium you took! We have to try "anything " ( well, not benzos, z-drugs or alcohol) to try and find something that will help.

 

I 've been taking Magnesiumtaurate for about 5 months now. I take it with my evening meal. The first weeks it made me sleepy after an hour or so. Now that's no longer the case. The reason for taking it is to relax my muscles. Which I feel it does. I could take it shortly before bedtime, but I already take my Diazepam then. Maybe I 'll start taking the Magnesiumtaurate at night after I 've finished my taper. If all goes well that's in 10 days from now! 

 

Yes, the Internet made us wiser and much more assertive!  Now only the doctors need to wise up...(sigh).

 

Took a 20 minute walk this morning: it went really, really well! In fact, the best one in almost two and a half years! So happy about that! 

 

My memory let me down a bit I see. Not Swedish, but Norwegian.  Close enough (lol). 

As for understanding the others, there's always English. Nowadays "everyone" speaks English.

 

We had 2 kinds of weather today: morning and part of the afternoon were overcast and a bit chilly, then suddenly the clouds gave way to lovely sunshine and warmth! Yey! Went for a nice bike ride.

 

Have a lovely Sunday and sleep well!

 

Take care!   

 

TS