Where's the insomnia buddies? no action on the threads.

[[Ac...]]

Last night I had 6, I think.  I was up a few times so the stop/start is a little blurry.  I am happy with it.  The zero night put things back in perspective.  I did take a melatonin last night which helped me get to sleep, but I usually wake up about 3 hours later, which I did. 

 

8 hours - 2 days in a row- that must feel great, except for the migraine! 

[[He...]]

I have yet to have 8 hours two days in a row. Must be nice

I had 8 hours last night but I had 2 hours the night before.  I just never know what I am going to get.

 

Wishing you all great sleep and a great day:)

 

HM

[[...]]

It was nice .  Am I kicked out of the group now, lol.

 

HM - hope you get more and more sleep soon!

[[Ac...]]

2 strikes!  But no seriously I hope the trend continues for you!

[[Re...]]

so i tried something last night, i have california poppy extract, and i took 1ml of that in liquid about an hour before bed, along with 2mg melatonin (and im also still taking chamomile 3 hours before bed but i put 3 bags in this time, & magnesium glycinate at night which seems to have rid me of day time headaches that i assume were related to melatonin, though could also be WDS from klonopin reduction) and that seems to have gotten me sleeping through the whole night...

 

I also found the meds my step-mom took online that got her off of 2mg of K, she did a really rapid taper with the help of this stuff.. i figure its worth a try since its all natural... ill try it once it gets here

sweetcare.com/aquilea-sleep-1-95mg-melatonin-p-014179uq

 

it comes from portugal , you could buy the ingredients separately in the us.. but i think its convenient just having it all ready to go... its 2mg melatonin + unknown amount of passionflower (which works on Gaba receptors as well), california poppy, and valerian... she swears on this stuff and she's living proof.. anyways wishing you all the best of luck, you will recover, always keep faith

 

_{Edit: commercial link deactivated}

[[...]]

And the window is closed.  Sigh.  Two hours last night.  Surge started at 1am.  How is everyone doing?

[[Bl...]]

And the window is closed.  Sigh.  Two hours last night.  Surge started at 1am.  How is everyone doing?

 

Hi Ben,

        Sorry to hear that. I know it's torture to have a window and then it close on you. The uncertainty of it all is mind boggling and scary. Hope you can get back to the window today. Here is my update.

 

I had consistent 7 hours for roughly 8 days then last night 4 hours. I don't think the window is closed though. The surges that came with anxiety aren't the same. I'm trying not get mad or frustrated with it as Pamster suggested. I went down at 11pm, woke up 3am then tried tapping technique, praying until roughly 7am until the sun came up. I know I am rested some during that attempt but my brain never fully left me alone and that is a struggle to not let myself flip out about this. This is the part that I have been working on.

 

It seems to me the 4 hours of trying to get back to sleep (as for many of us) is the culprit. I know when the anxiety was in full effect during those episodes in the past, it amplified any negative thoughts. Simply put anxiety plus insomnia equals emotional terror. Which makes sense because I took Valium for sleep only so the very thing V took away is haunting me namely intrusive thoughts.

 

One thing that has sprung up in the last 4 days is my heart starts pounding a bit in the afternoons around 2pm. I counter it with meditation which does lower my heart rate. I am grateful I kept up on my morning meditation practice and have gotten pretty good at it after a few months of practice...so I have been meditating twice a day and increased it from 20 mins to 30 mins each time.

 

Today, I am at the stage where I feel I really need to keep giving insomnia the middle finger and that in return I gain some power over it instead of feeling helpless. It has been traumatizing the waves and this almost 6 month journey. I grew up in L.A. and as a kid went body surfing often..big waves that held me under for 10 seconds at a time were terrifying but I always made it to the top for "Air".

 

I am praying that it was a simple one night of 4 hours and that I will return to 7 tonight. What I am most proud of is that I did not wake up my wife in a panic/crying/full anxiety like I did just 3 weeks ago for over a week at 4am. The thought came in mind but I told myself its not that bad to warrant waking her up...It's just a hiccup, a bump in the road. For God's sake don't worry the wife...she's been through enough with all this and has her own challenges. Tell the BBs here 

 

I feel pretty rested today so far..it appears it will stay that way... and when everything is said and done that's what this section of BB Insomnia is about right? Do we feel rested and not like a zombie. Gauging that can be tricky and I obsessed with how many hours of sleep as oppose to how to do I feel? That's why I don't like the sleep tracker on BB.....It should be a rest tracker and we should be asking ourselves to what degree do we feel rested NOT how much did I sleep last night which could be what's causing the anxiety and a repeat of another challenging night if that makes sense?

 

One BB who worked the night shift said he really knows how it feels to come home from work after forcing himself at work to stay awake and feel like a zombie deprived of sleep. That's what I am trying to avoid. The crazy thoughts laying in bed are frustrating but if it doesn't effect how I feel the next day as far as rest so who cares. I guess I am separating two different troubles/issues...sleep and intrusive thoughts ( like I said Valium was good at easing because I was high from 10pm to 11pm/12pm before sleep came). 

 

 

I hope this helps someone out there. I know it helped me trying to write what's currently going on.

 

I pray all of you get some sleep and know that this will pass...we do heal.

 

Blue

 

 

[[He...]]

After two nights in a row of a full nights sleep (8 hours and 7 hours), last night I had 1.5 hours. It seems to be all or nothing for me. I can't wait until I am consistently getting 7 to 8 hours every night. I am tired today.

 

I hope you all have a great day

 

HM

[[Ac...]]

JBen, sorry the nice window is over- I was hoping it'd last longer for you. 

 

HM- you are consistent in that it goes up and down a lot! 

 

I've had good nights since my zero night Saturday, probably averaging 6.5. 

[[He...]]

Hi guys,

 

Lasts night was another rough one for me. I got about 3.5 hours. I am due for another 8 hour night. It felt like I was awake all night but I kept waking up and realizing I had been asleep so my best guess is 3.5 hours. I am tired today.

 

Have a great day, everyone:)

 

HM

[[...]]

3.5 hours is rough HM!  Tonight will be your night!!

[[sa...]]

Hi guys,

 

Lasts night was another rough one for me. I got about 3.5 hours. I am due for another 8 hour night. It felt like I was awake all night but I kept waking up and realizing I had been asleep so my best guess is 3.5 hours. I am tired today.

 

Have a great day, everyone:)

 

HM

 

Sorry HM!  That's so rough.  I slept 6 hours last night but still feel really anxious. 

[[Ac...]]

Especially a 3.5 hour night where you feel awake the whole time and the sleep is spotty, instead of a good 3.5 hour stretch, and then awake.  I hope tonight is better!

[[He...]]

I had another 3 hour night last night. That's 3 nights in a row of very little sleep. I hope tonight is better. I had a few weeks of 4 and 5 hours, then it amped up to 7 and 8 and now I am back down to 1 to 3

 

Pray for me, please. I could use it.

 

 

HM

[[sa...]]

Praying for you, HM.  So sorry!  I know how awful it feels.

[[He...]]

Last night I got 5 or 6 hours. I step up from 1 to 3 but still not 8.

 

I'll take what I can get.

 

HM

[[Ac...]]

An improvement!  I am praying for you, HM. 

 

I had 6 last night, but waking several times and finally being up at 5.  The night before, Friday night, I got 8 hours without waking, which I can probably count on my hands how many times that's happened post benzos.

[[sa...]]

HM, at least you got some!  I know it's not enough to give much relief, but certainly better than a zero.  Been praying for you!

 

Benzopatient, glad you're getting some sleep.  I'm doing about the same as you, 5s and 6s.  The last two nights have been 5.  I don't feel good with that little sleep, but it's a lot better than none.

[[He...]]

AD and Sage,

 

  I am grateful for my 5 and 6 hour nights as well. I have yet to have a night where I slept uninterrupted but i have had several 7 and 8 hour nights that were broken. I am optimistic that my organic sleep will come back. I am only a couple weeks from jumping. I am down to .4mg a day.

 

Wish me luck!

 

HM

[[Ac...]]

That's a big milestone.  You're almost there!

[[Ac...]]

I got a good amount of sleep, but my chemical anxiety is really burning this morning.  I was up at 430 and took a hydroxyzine to get back to sleep since I went to bed late, at midnight.  I did sleep fitfully until 715.  Now have the worst chemical anxiety I've had in a while.  Wishing a better day for you all. 

[[...]]

Wow that is great HM.  Sorry to hear about your anxiety this morning AD.  I am right there with you.  Chemical anxiety can be rough!  Had a few days of good window then last night.  Bam!  No sleep.  Will be a rough day today but I know tonight will be better.

 

I’ve learned to be in bed by 8pm most nights.  I find it helps a lot when the cortisol starts to surge at 2am.  Last night tho I dont know what happened.  I could not bring myself to do it and wound up not getting to bed until 1130.  Got a few very broken hours with really bad nightmares and overbreathing.  Then right at 2am terrible chemical anxiety.  Sigh.  Anyway now to start my zombie day haha. 

 

Hope you all have the best day that you can!

[[sa...]]

Accidentaldependent and J, sorry you both are having a rough start to the day.  Me too.  Awake at 3:45 and now the burning and fidgeting start.  I truly thought I would have a nice sleep last night.  How wrong I was.  At least it wasn't a zero. 

[[...]]

Aww Sage.  Ugh the burning and fidgeting.  I know that feeling well.  Pulling out those coping skills this morning!

[[He...]]

Hey guys,

 

I got about 6 hours of broken sleep last night. AD, I also took a hydroxyzine at about 4:30 and it helped me go back to sleep. It 'seems' like I am able to sleep better little by little but I hope for the day that I can sleep 8 or 9 hours again.

 

HM