12-24 months and up support group

[[La...]]

Hugs LadyDen

How are you doing today? Any 4th of July plans?

[[Th...]]

Lady Den so good to see you. I'm sorry you got hit with symptoms. Its hard how we sneakily improve in the background while still feeling like crap warmed over. But at least there is improvement. Hang in there.

[[...]]

Hugs LadyDen

How are you doing today? Any 4th of July plans?

 

 

Unfortunately no.  My symptoms are so bad I am actually scared about the long weekend.  How the heck am I going to really distract myself without work.  Work forces me to focus on something other than the horror show that is happening with my body.  Ugh.  The anxiety is severe since this latest setback.  Severe!  I can barely breathe.  My lungs are so tight.  I am shallow breathing.  My nerves are all on fire.  Even walking up the stairs causes the anxiety to increase.  If I eat anything at all the anxiety goes into orbit!  I cant eat anything without the symptoms going off the charts!

 

I still have no idea what happened!  Ugh.

[[Li...]]

Hello to all.

 

Lisa,

Thank you so much for the encouragement. Hoping this is going to change for all of us soon.

 

GG,

So happy to here that things are settling down for you. I knew they would. You seem to pull through things quite quickly and that's wonderful.

 

LadyDen,

So good to hear from you. But I'm sorry to hear that you're in a wave too. Imagine how much better you're going to be doing when this wave passes. It's probably going to be better than ever.

 

JBen,

I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. I'm wondering if that shingles booster might have flared you up. These things do affect our immune systems and that could be causing the problem with the foods. I hope it settles down for you soon.

 

I'm still in this horrific wave one worse than ever the mentals today aren't quite as bad, except for the fear that doesn't seem to want to take much of a break. The physical symptoms are off the charts. I'm having terrible side pain and tingling on the whole left side of my body, as well as a terrible migraine with jaw pain and other symptoms, too many to mention. Sure hoping I am doing some deep healing and I'm going to get a break soon. I know I keep saying that but I have to stay positive.

 

Sending warm love and healing thoughts to everyone of my buddies

 

LiveLife

[[le...]]

Happy Independence weekend to all of you. Wasn’t sure what it celebrated had look it up, independence from us it seems, very sensible, what do they do to celebrate? Wish I could become independent from my brain, and shoot the flaming hamster on the wheel in my head. Do any of you find anxiety waxes and wanes. Not windows and waves, never goes away more increases in intensity for a while for no apparent reason. Hope you all have a good weekend anyway, and manage a bit of celebration.

[[La...]]

Thank you Stitch. It’s always good to hear from you too. I read that you’re also getting hit with symptoms again. Hope you hang in there too. I’m finding myself getting so annoyed and angry at these crap ridiculous symptoms. I’m like…ok so now you’re improving so why don’t you just finish already!  I’ve read that it’s normal to get annoyed toward the end. I meant to ask you where are you located? Sending you big hugs and window wishes. 🤗

 

JBen hugs back at you! 🤗 I hope your wave leave you soon. But I think your baseline will be much better after this. You deserve it, my friend! You know I admire you for working through these waves. I admire anyone that can do that. There’s no way I could even if it was a stay at home job. I’m still having to retreat to bed sometimes in my rougher waves. You get up, shower, get dressed, drive (?) and work around other people while having internal hell going on….WOW! That deserves a medal 🥇 Today I hope you turn a corner getting a nice much needed window. ❤️

 

Leann our Independence Day is July 4 to celebrate when our country gained it’s independence back in the 1700’s if my memory serves me right. We celebrate it with the color scheme of red, white and blue as that’s our flag’s colors. We have fireworks, barbecuing, family games, dancing, because it’s summer many celebrate it near some type of body of water. Boat partying, fireworks display, etc. It’s so much fun seeing most people wearing our country’s colors and enjoying being in a free country. Some people stay up until midnight celebrating. The reason is mainly because it doesn’t get dark here in the summer until about 8:30. It needs to be dark to really see the fireworks show. May today be a nicer day for you. Thank you for wishing us Americans a happy 4th! ❤️🌹🤗😘

 

Live, I really hope you’re right about me having a better baseline. I definitely need one. I’m doing all I can to push through this shift. I’m sure you’re doing the same. I really think you’ll be turning your corner soon. You’ve been in this rut for long enough now. So come on to the shoreline.  Any plans for the 4th?

 

I’m not doing much either. I’ll perhaps hang out with my brother. Maybe my son and his family will come over. But I know I’ll be wearing earplugs the whole day! In my apartments they don’t allow fireworks. I’m soooooo glad! But I still hear them from other people in the neighborhood. I’m just hoping that everyone have a fun safe celebration. It breaks my heart to hear your description of your symptoms coming back with a vengeance. ( JBen, Stitch, Live, everyone) It seems we’re all getting cycling back at the same time. My morning dread and waves is also miserable again. Ok I guess everyone need to pull out of old coping skills. The ones used in acute! We will get through this! One hour at a time. Group hugs 🤗  LOVE ❤️ 😘

[[le...]]

That sounds good ladyden. We aren’t very patriotic over here, maybe because we’ve never been ruled by another country. Few years ago we were on holiday in Canada, and were there for 4 th July, staying near Niagara falls, that was lit up with a lot of fireworks looked quite spectacular. Hope all of you over there manage to celebrate in some way however you are feeling.. Stays light over her until about the same time as well.I love Summer, definitely the best time year😎

[[Li...]]

Hello to all,

 

LadyDen,

I'm so sorry that you're struggling again. But you've seen some really good days so I'm sure they're going to come back to you.

 

I'm not sure what's up with me I've been struggling for so very long and even before this last horrific wave I wasn't doing that great. Last night was another horror filled night the fear was out of control and I barely slept. It's like I'm having a panic attack 24/7. It's really hard to sustain that. It's so taxing and exhausting and stressful. Today having extreme stomach issues, terrible tingling in my left side with pain along with the fear and the mental symptoms, it's one thing after the other and constant with no breaks. I sure hope I do turn a corner soon. I have seen others go on like this for months, and I've already done that, I hope it's not going to be much longer. I'm really getting scared that this is going to continue for months more and I don't know how I'm going to do it. Somehow I seem to be losing my positivity today. I've got to get back on track.

 

Hugs to all!

 

LiveLife

[[Ga...]]

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY DEAR BB’S🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

 

 

I AM FEELING BETTER BUT NOW TAKING CARE OF MY HUSBAND WHO WAS JUST DIAGNOSED WITH SHINGLES. PLUS, I WAS IN THE ER WITH HIM FOR OVER THREE HOURS YESTERDAY, WHERE AN X-RAY REVEALED THAT HE HAS A PINCHED NERVE.  THANK GOODNESS I FEEL GOOD AND CAN GIVE HIM PLEMTY OF TLC.  JUST RETURNED FROM THE GROCERY STORE WHERE TONS OF SHOPPERS WERE GETTING THEIR HAMBURGERS, HOTDOGS, BAKED BEANS, ETC., FOR THE BIG HOLIDAY!

 

OBVIOUSLY, NO CELEBRATING HERE BUT CONTENT TO CARE FOR AND BRING MY HUSBAND BACK TO GOOD HEALTH!!!!!

 

THINKING OF EACH OF YOU.  LAST WEEK I THOUGHT I WAS NEVER GOING TO FEEL BETTER, AND HERE I AM PRETTY MUCH SYMPTOM FREE!!!!

 

HUGS,

 

GG

 

 

[[de...]]

Happy 4th to everyone!  (At least to all the Americans).   

 

Lady Den:  So sorry you are struggling.  Thinking about you.      I totally understand getting angry.  I am angry as well.  Trying to stay positive!     

 

GG:  Such great news!!  So glad you are feeling better.  Sorry about your husband.  Isn't that interesting that he has gotten shingles right after you thought you had them.    Glad you are able to take good care of him.  My husband had them several years ago, and it was really tough. 

 

To everyone else:  Leeann, Stitch, Sjs, Deanna, JBen, LiveLife, Upper....  Hope you can enjoy your weekend.    Thinking of everyone today and every day.

[[Th...]]

Lady Den

Thank you for thinking of me.Yes I am so frustrated too. I feel stuck in time a lot. I am also sorry you are having symptoms and hope this leads to good healing. I am in Missouri. We shoot our fireworks by the Mississippi River. I'll have to see whether I can put up with the noise this year. I might hide away. But who knows? Maybe I will be surprised.

 

LiveLife

Im sorry you are facing such hardship right now. Lack of sleep just makes everything worse for me. The fear feels unbearable. It feels like you are always "on". It is very taxing. You just want to get a breath. I hope you get a break soon. I have no idea how many month you have had this, but I understand the constant mental symptoms of fear and anxiety. All I wanted was a moment to breathe.

Positivity leaves me often. I wait for it to come back, as it has before for me.

 

The quote "Sometimes fear does not subside and one must choose to do it afraid." got me through. But mostly it was taking one more step then I could. You are doing amazing. We don't feel amazing at our worst, but that is when we are most amazing. Hang in there

 

Gardenguru

I am so glad you are feeling better! Sorry about your husband, but I am glad you have the ability to care for him. That must feel great to be strong enough to care for someone else. I wish him the best in healing.

Congrats on making it through the storm! Hope those symptoms stay away.

 

decatur

Thanks for thinking of me. Take care of yourself. I hope you have a happy 4 yourself. (whether you are American or not )

[[Ac...]]

GG, so glad you are feeling better and the wave was brief.  You are healing, and it's a good sign if you can handle antibiotics without any worse consequences!

[[Li...]]

Hello to all,

 

GG,

So glad to hear you're doing better. I knew it wouldn't take much time for you to get back on your feet. I hope your husband feels better soon and it's great you're able to help nurse him back to health.

 

Thatonegirlstitch,

Thank you so much for your understanding and kind words. I have been struggling with this chemical intense fear since the chemical anxiety left me last year in June so it's been a year but the last number of months and especially the last month it has been way more intense than ever. You described it quite well so I see that you understand. I hope that you've gotten past it yourself.

 

Hugs to all!

 

LiveLife

[[La...]]

Happy Sunday Yearlings! Wow you all have given me so much to read. That’s a good thing for us to express ourselves while healing. It’s so nice to come here to such a supportive bunch to vent as we all absolutely understand what we’re going through. I love you all bunches! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🌹🌹🌹🌹

 

GG it’s wonderful to hear you are feeling almost symptom free again! Wow! Yay! It certainly gives us all something to look forward to. And just in time to care for your hubby. I also was thinking when I read your post how you were the one thinking you have shingles. And it’s your hubby that does!  I hope he recovers quickly. I’m sure you’ll nurse him back to health in no time. But remember to take self care and rest as well. We don’t need you getting burned out and thrown back in a wave. Nope! Big hugs and love my dear friend 🤗

 

Leann yes when they light up the waterfalls and have the fireworks display it is a beautiful sight. When I was a kid it was magical to watch. I’m glad you had the chance to personally witness it. And I thought every country celebrates their country  Anyway, I’m sending you big hugs and love. have a great day today 🤗

 

Live I honestly think you will go into a window and turn a corner soon too. It’s been long enough as you said. It’s ok to not feel so positive when you’ve endured as long as you have. We all have our moments when our symptoms get the best of us. Just the day before yesterday I had those thoughts of what if this is as good as I’m going to get. I felt fear from that thought try to take root. I immediately recognized it and shifted my thoughts to how far I’ve come then mentally went over my “what I’m going to do when healed “ list. That did the trick!  It took me awhile to realize that those doomy thoughts are also a symptom. I really hope you find some space in those symptoms to enjoy your day. Sending you big hugs and love. 🤗

 

Stitch it sounds like you’re going to have a nice celebration. Great idea to wear earplugs! I’ll surely wear mine. My family are coming over today to celebrate instead of tomorrow. I’m cooking ( I started yesterday evening in my window) and there will be card playing, fun at the pool and movie watching. I can’t go to the pool but that will give me a break from the noise. I have a sister that is in KCMO. I plan on visiting her when I’m well enough.  I hope you enjoy yourself. Big hugs and love 🤗

 

Lisa you’re so right that it’s hard to stay positive. Especially when you feel so bad. Thank you for your encouragement. I really hope you turn a corner soon too. Thank you for the 4th of July wishes. What do you normally do as an activity? Do you have a hobby? Sending you big hugs and love 🤗

 

Accidental, how are you doing? I’ve been thinking about you! I hope all is going well with coping with your symptoms? Do you have a good support at home? Where are you located? Glad to see you pop in. Sending you big hug and love 🤗

Becks may you enjoy your day. Big hugs 🤗

 

JBen, Deanna, Upper, and Sandy you’re on my mind! Wishing you well with a nice open window. Love and hugs 🤗

 

🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

GOD BLESS!

[[De...]]

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY DEAR BB’S🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

 

 

I AM FEELING BETTER BUT NOW TAKING CARE OF MY HUSBAND WHO WAS JUST DIAGNOSED WITH SHINGLES. PLUS, I WAS IN THE ER WITH HIM FOR OVER THREE HOURS YESTERDAY, WHERE AN X-RAY REVEALED THAT HE HAS A PINCHED NERVE.  THANK GOODNESS I FEEL GOOD AND CAN GIVE HIM PLEMTY OF TLC.  JUST RETURNED FROM THE GROCERY STORE WHERE TONS OF SHOPPERS WERE GETTING THEIR HAMBURGERS, HOTDOGS, BAKED BEANS, ETC., FOR THE BIG HOLIDAY!

 

OBVIOUSLY, NO CELEBRATING HERE BUT CONTENT TO CARE FOR AND BRING MY HUSBAND BACK TO GOOD HEALTH!!!!!

 

THINKING OF EACH OF YOU.  LAST WEEK I THOUGHT I WAS NEVER GOING TO FEEL BETTER, AND HERE I AM PRETTY MUCH SYMPTOM FREE!!!!

 

HUGS,

 

GG

 

Warms my heart that you are getting back to baseline so quickly GG!!!!!  So sorry to hear about hubby, and what irony that it is HE who ended up with the shingles?!?  But I am sure you are thrilled to be able to care for him as you say.  You indeed bounced back quickly which proves how much healing you have done    Hoping I'm right behind you!!

[[Li...]]

Hello to all,

 

LadyDen,

Thank you for your words of encouragement. I sure hope so. Last night I actually had a bit of a break from the mental symptoms then after midnight they all came raging back again. I'm thinking these little breaks are something positive but today is worse than ever. And you are right I try very hard to dismiss all those doomy thoughts and focus on something else. Here's hoping we're all doing better very very soon! Hugs.

 

LiveLife

[[Pa...]]

I'm so terrified and exhausted

[[Th...]]

Hello Pashu,

 

Welcome. I am familiar with both those feelings. It's common to have both of these in withdrawal. Whether they are from symptoms or yourself. I'm sorry you are going through this trial. Please know you are not alone. There are people walking with us and people who have walked before us.

Let us know what is on your mind.

I see you have an intro. I will stop by and leave a post.

[[La...]]

Good morning everyone or good afternoon or evening for all our yearlings that are across the pond. I hope you had a good weekend. Mine was good. I managed to push through my waves to enjoy my family. I thought I’d suffer bad waves for it but I didn’t! Yay! I actually had a window most of the day yesterday so compared to last year’s 4th of July, it was a huge difference. The fireworks were not too bad. Earplugs and Netflix fixed that. 😂 

 

I’d like to take this time to welcome Pashu.  we’re glad to have you. Please give us a small description of what’s going on with you and where are you from? As Stitch said we’re here to offer support to each other. We all have been terrified and exhausted too. Unfortunately that’s the many nice gifts the Benzo Bully gives. They’re symptoms so in time they will fade away like all the rest. So until they do, please feel free to reach out here. Sometimes just knowing there’s someone who understands and cares can make a big difference. What do you use as coping skills? Do you have support at home? I hope you feel better soon. Hugs 🤗

[[Ac...]]

LD, I've been doing well, thanks for asking.  My benzo symptoms have been negligible.  My only one right now is waking up at 430 every morning, but I'm able to get back to sleep.  So I'd say I'm in a window at the moment. 

 

My gallbladder has been behaving too.  It seems the two go together, which is frustrating.  Would I be done with wd of not for the GB issue?  If I have another GB attack will I get a benzo wave?  It's very frustrating to have to worry about this at all. 

 

I have a really supportive wife so I'm lucky.  I'm in Illinois. 

 

I'll probably stay away from the boards a bit to enjoy my window.  I hope everyone else who's reading this gets some good healing too! 

 

-AD/ Accidental

[[De...]]

Yes Welcome Pashu!  We are sorry for your suffering but this is the one place where you will find real understanding as we walk with you in the same set of shoes.  I hope you find some comfort in this space 

 

Had a quiet 4th of July, and I'm settling in for my 24th month as I hit 2 years off Ambien on July 31st.  I really can't believe it! 2 years!  I am so glad to be this far out but I also look forward to the next year as I believe it will offer me nearly complete healing.  I have truly come very far, but I'm not quite there yet.

 

I'm finally over the COVID symptoms, but true to form my post-viral self is experiencing a tick up in BWD symptoms.  Not terrible, but quite unwanted I can say.  I indulged in a cup of peppermint tea the other day when my gut was acting up, and it was divibne! Settled my tummy right down.  But here a few days later my fibromyalgia pain has returned.  Is that from the tea?  Who knows.  But I'd like to keep drinking it.  I've still not gone back to camomile tea which was my favorite.  I just want to be normal.

 

So anyone have experience this far out trying the things that were a no-no on Aston's list?  Just wondering.

 

Thanks for any thoughts!

 

Hope we all have a lovely day.

[[La...]]

Deanna  good for you trying out peppermint tea. You won’t ever know unless you try. I personally don’t think it was the culprit. I say enjoy it and watch out for the same symptoms after you drink it. That will tell you the answer. It’s always good hearing from you. I love reading your posts. I’m soooooooo excited for your upcoming 2 years. YAY you will join me on the 2 year wagon. I’m also excited that this will be our year for complete healing. As we are already seeing nice progress. This will be our year! 

 

I’m also enjoying new things again. Like eating smoke sausages and walking more. I’m going to get back to riding in the car this week. I won’t know unless I try it again. Right? I’m also planning on walking further away from my apartment door. I’m going to try the parking lot or the sidewalks this week. I think I’ll try it today. Wooohooo im excited to try it! Would be nice if I had someone with me. But I don’t so im not going to let that stop me.

Love you bunches! 🌹❤️

[[De...]]

Deanna  good for you trying out peppermint tea. You won’t ever know unless you try. I personally don’t think it was the culprit. I say enjoy it and watch out for the same symptoms after you drink it. That will tell you the answer. It’s always good hearing from you. I love reading your posts. I’m soooooooo excited for your upcoming 2 years. YAY you will join me on the 2 year wagon. I’m also excited that this will be our year for complete healing. As we are already seeing nice progress. This will be our year! 

 

I’m also enjoying new things again. Like eating smoke sausages and walking more. I’m going to get back to riding in the car this week. I won’t know unless I try it again. Right? I’m also planning on walking further away from my apartment door. I’m going to try the parking lot or the sidewalks this week. I think I’ll try it today. Wooohooo im excited to try it! Would be nice if I had someone with me. But I don’t so im not going to let that stop me.

Love you bunches! 🌹❤️

 

Thanks LD!  I was also thinking I'm far out enough for peppermint tea to not be instigating anything.  I'm thinking this is my post-COVID hissy fit because my nervous system didn't like having to fight the virus.  So interesting how there is cross-talk between the nervous system and our immune system.  I'm now eagerly awaiting my post-viral post-wave window!!!!  Last year when I had a bad cold I was "off" for about a month afterwards.  Let's hope this time it's shorter :-)

 

SO HAPPY to hear of your progress as well.  It's just so slow we sometimes can't fully comprehend it, but indeed we have made huge progress in the past year.  I think the most bothersome of our symptoms (for you riding in a car....for me my fibro nerve pain) will be the last of the symptoms to go, but THEY WILL GO....slowly but surely.

 

I finished the Doc Martin series, so thoroughly enjoyed it and looking for something new to distract with. So hard to find a series that I like that much.  Before that I was hooked on Monk.

 

Any suggestions from our group??? 

[[Li...]]

Hello to all my wonderful buddies. Sounds like most of you are doing quite well. That is very encouraging for me. I sure hope I can follow in your footsteps soon. I'm just in tears and still trying to hang on. Sending everyone warm love and healing hugs.

 

LiveLife

[[Pa...]]

Thank you Stitch, LadyDen & Deanna. I'm from Belgium, I'll let my introduction do the talking because I'm not super lucid at the moment: http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=268375

 

I've been basically suffering for what's been more or less 17 months now. I don't really have any coping skills, I just try to get through it day by day. At the beginning I isolated myself. I used to love playing guitar and watching movies, but I've put those aside because I can't enjoy them with the pain I'm currently suffering. And it would only make me sad, thinking of the days where I was not suffering from a washing list of health problems. So I guess my coping strategy is distancing myself from things I love(d). I don't really have any support at home, I have been carrying this weight mostly alone. I started browsing this board at the beginning of the year. Went through a thousand pages of threads, seeing people suffering from similar symptoms eased my mind, knowing I was not alone. Although seeing people getting better after something like 8 months while you're still at rock bottom 17 months in didn't always fill me with faith. But now I've ran out of pages to read, so here I am posting. Guess I always hoped to be out of the woods by the time I ran out of reading material, moving on, living my life. But I guess it doesn't always turn out as poetic as you want it to. And the pain's been getting worse than before. I just don't know anymore. Thank you for the warm welcome.