12-24 months and up support group

[[de...]]

Welcome, Pashu!  Glad you posted and welcome to our group!  You will find lots of support here.  We are at different stages in our healing, but we completely understand where you are coming from.  Keep reaching out!

 

I will be 28 months off on July 14th.  I had hoped, like you, that I would be completely healed by this point in my journey, but it is happening more slowly.  I know I will heal; just a matter of time. 

 

Distraction is important for me.  I watch t.v., talk to friends, knit.    I have had lots of ups and downs during this process; currently not feeling great, but know that I must be patient and my time will come when I will feel much better. 

 

You have probably been told this before, but it would help us if you added your timeline to your signature.  Meaning putting the details in of what you were taking, for how long, and when you stopped.  Do you know how to add that to your "signature"?

 

I hope you are having a decent day!  I guess it is evening time and almost time for bed.  Are you able to sleep at night?

 

Look forward to hearing back from you.

 

Lisa

[[Pa...]]

Welcome, Pashu!  Glad you posted and welcome to our group!  You will find lots of support here.  We are at different stages in our healing, but we completely understand where you are coming from.  Keep reaching out!

 

I will be 28 months off on July 14th.  I had hoped, like you, that I would be completely healed by this point in my journey, but it is happening more slowly.  I know I will heal; just a matter of time. 

 

Distraction is important for me.  I watch t.v., talk to friends, knit.    I have had lots of ups and downs during this process; currently not feeling great, but know that I must be patient and my time will come when I will feel much better. 

 

You have probably been told this before, but it would help us if you added your timeline to your signature.  Meaning putting the details in of what you were taking, for how long, and when you stopped.  Do you know how to add that to your "signature"?

 

I hope you are having a decent day!  I guess it is evening time and almost time for bed.  Are you able to sleep at night?

 

Look forward to hearing back from you.

 

Lisa

 

Thank you, Lisa. Sorry to hear you are still dealing with this 28 months in. I hope we all make it and get to leave the suffering behind us. I try to distract, try watching a bit of TV now too because I used to not do so at all back when my symptoms started. I updated my signature. My day was okay, but have just been feeling really bad the past few days. I will be headed to bed in a few minutes, luckily I get to sleep surprisingly well. Funny because I used to rely on Ativan as a sleeping pill when my anxiety was too high to sleep.

[[Up...]]

Hope you all are having some peace tonight.  I am battling Covid and my sx are more intense.  Does anyone have a vibrating electric feeling in there stomach?  It is painful and has me doubled over?  Anyone?

[[Li...]]

Pashu,

Welcome. I'm sorry to hear how much you're struggling. I'm right there with you been suffering quite badly for some time and it's gotten even worse in the last few weeks here. Hopefully we both turn the corner soon.

 

Upperleft,

I'm so sorry to hear you got covid. I hope you have a quick recovery and get a much better Baseline once it's past.

 

Hugs!

 

LiveLife

[[De...]]

Hope you all are having some peace tonight.  I am battling Covid and my sx are more intense.  Does anyone have a vibrating electric feeling in there stomach?  It is painful and has me doubled over?  Anyone?

 

Hey UL, I definitely felt gut issues escalate during my COVID illness this past month.  The virus is known to impact the gut, and even the flu can do that. I got relief from some peppermint tea, but careful not to overdo that as it does impact GABA receptors. 

I think as we battle the virus anything is up for grabs in terms of symptoms.  I hope you recover quickly and get back to baseline soon!

[[De...]]

Thank you Stitch, LadyDen & Deanna. I'm from Belgium, I'll let my introduction do the talking because I'm not super lucid at the moment: http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=268375

 

I've been basically suffering for what's been more or less 17 months now. I don't really have any coping skills, I just try to get through it day by day. At the beginning I isolated myself. I used to love playing guitar and watching movies, but I've put those aside because I can't enjoy them with the pain I'm currently suffering. And it would only make me sad, thinking of the days where I was not suffering from a washing list of health problems. So I guess my coping strategy is distancing myself from things I love(d). I don't really have any support at home, I have been carrying this weight mostly alone. I started browsing this board at the beginning of the year. Went through a thousand pages of threads, seeing people suffering from similar symptoms eased my mind, knowing I was not alone. Although seeing people getting better after something like 8 months while you're still at rock bottom 17 months in didn't always fill me with faith. But now I've ran out of pages to read, so here I am posting. Guess I always hoped to be out of the woods by the time I ran out of reading material, moving on, living my life. But I guess it doesn't always turn out as poetic as you want it to. And the pain's been getting worse than before. I just don't know anymore. Thank you for the warm welcome.

 

I am so sorry for your suffering Pashu  :'(

It seems like pain is your most bothersome symptom, as is mine.  Do you get nerve pain? Like fibromyalgia?  Or gut pain like IBS?  These are all very common I'm afraid.  I can share some of my coping skills if you would like to PM me.

And avoiding the things we love is just an unfortunate side effect of the suffering, but it will return slowly.  I am now gardening again.  Had to stay away for nearly 3 years but the future is truly bright.

At 17 months I thought I'd be done as well, but turned a nice corner right after that.

[[Pa...]]

Pashu,

Welcome. I'm sorry to hear how much you're struggling. I'm right there with you been suffering quite badly for some time and it's gotten even worse in the last few weeks here. Hopefully we both turn the corner soon.

 

Upperleft,

I'm so sorry to hear you got covid. I hope you have a quick recovery and get a much better Baseline once it's past.

 

Hugs!

 

LiveLife

 

Thank you. We can only hope.

[[Pa...]]

Thank you Stitch, LadyDen & Deanna. I'm from Belgium, I'll let my introduction do the talking because I'm not super lucid at the moment: http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=268375

 

I've been basically suffering for what's been more or less 17 months now. I don't really have any coping skills, I just try to get through it day by day. At the beginning I isolated myself. I used to love playing guitar and watching movies, but I've put those aside because I can't enjoy them with the pain I'm currently suffering. And it would only make me sad, thinking of the days where I was not suffering from a washing list of health problems. So I guess my coping strategy is distancing myself from things I love(d). I don't really have any support at home, I have been carrying this weight mostly alone. I started browsing this board at the beginning of the year. Went through a thousand pages of threads, seeing people suffering from similar symptoms eased my mind, knowing I was not alone. Although seeing people getting better after something like 8 months while you're still at rock bottom 17 months in didn't always fill me with faith. But now I've ran out of pages to read, so here I am posting. Guess I always hoped to be out of the woods by the time I ran out of reading material, moving on, living my life. But I guess it doesn't always turn out as poetic as you want it to. And the pain's been getting worse than before. I just don't know anymore. Thank you for the warm welcome.

 

I am so sorry for your suffering Pashu  :'(

It seems like pain is your most bothersome symptom, as is mine.  Do you get nerve pain? Like fibromyalgia?  Or gut pain like IBS?  These are all very common I'm afraid.  I can share some of my coping skills if you would like to PM me.

And avoiding the things we love is just an unfortunate side effect of the suffering, but it will return slowly.  I am now gardening again.  Had to stay away for nearly 3 years but the future is truly bright.

At 17 months I thought I'd be done as well, but turned a nice corner right after that.

 

Yep, the pain is definitely the most bothersome symptom for me. My pain is mainly concentrated on my head, 24/7. No windows, no lighter or heavier periods. Just constant agony. I also feel I'm a lot weaker cognitively but I don't know how much of that is solely to attribute to the constant pain and how much to the rest of the benzo. I've noticed a soda really ramps up my gut problems (although I haven't consumed much soda for nearly a decade), to the point it felt like my food was just stuck in my colon, not digesting at all. I'd eat at 18:00, and still be suffering a lot at 23:00. Made going to sleep pretty hard. Another thing I'd noticed is I had a green tea and about an hour afterwards the pain in my head got so bad I was holding my head and just lying down. Felt like there were a million ants crawling in my brain maybe. So I avoid sugar & caffeine. But the feeling I mainly get is as if there's a block of cement stuck in my head. While the pain is my most bothersome symptom, I guess the one that scares me the most is my anorgasmia. I've found plenty of people suffering from the other symptoms, just as I, but not much regarding the anorgasmia.

 

I'd love to hear your coping skills, I'll PM you if I figure out how. Glad to hear you managed to return to what you love. I'm just 8 months off, but been suffering for 17. I hope I get to turn my corner soon. Happy to hear your situation improved a bit.

[[Ac...]]

Whelp, so much for the window.  I think I just threw myself into a wave.  I joined a gallbladder support group, and encountered a lot of horror stories.  I guess it's just like here in that respect, but maybe one support group is enough and I shouldn't have tried a new one. 

 

I didn't sleep very much last night and feel very agitated today.  Feeling right back in it again and hope it's short lived. 

 

Pashu, welcome to the group.

 

I hope everyone else is hanging in there today. 

 

[[Th...]]

I know that feeling Accidentaldependant

I'm sorry you got horrorstoried. Give it time for that to die down.

 

As for the wave it really really sucks. I hope it will be gone soon. Wish I could right more to you but can only look at my screen in spurts. Hang in there.

[[Li...]]

Accidental,

 

I'm so sorry to hear that you got stressed out by the horror stories. But I completely understand that, try to avoid it as much as possible. We can get stressed out without any reason, no use adding fuel to the fire. I'm always dismissing thoughts from my brain and canceling them out. In time it will pass. So sorry to hear that you're in a wave again I hope that's very short-lived and you're soon feeling much much better. Hugs!

 

LiveLife

[[Li...]]

ThatOneGirlStitch,

 

I saw your comment to accidental. Looks like you have problems with the screen as well as I do. I would make longer posts myself, if I didn't have a problem. I have to do it in small spurts too. Hugs!

 

LiveLife

[[Th...]]

LiveLife

 

Hugs appreciated!  Your short comment was so nice to get. Yes it's so hard to look at my screen. It's nice to feel less alone on that front. ❤️

[[Ac...]]

LL, I know you're in a big wave yourself so you're very kind to try to reassure me.  I hope you start to see some improvement around the edges soon.

 

Stitch, thank you as well.  I like that you used "horrorstoried" as one word bc it's definitely a thing that's happened to me throughout this process. 

 

Unfortunately I didn't stop my "research" yesterday and feel even worse benzo wise.  I guess it's because my gallbladder does hurt right now so I'm trying to make an educated decision about whether to have it out or not.  But, it's definitely putting me into a wave, or the GB pain alone is maybe doing that. 

 

I'm just so scared, confused, frustrated.  I know everyone here can identify with these emotions even if no one has been in my situation with both benzo recovery and gallbladder issues

[[La...]]

Deanna  good for you trying out peppermint tea. You won’t ever know unless you try. I personally don’t think it was the culprit. I say enjoy it and watch out for the same symptoms after you drink it. That will tell you the answer. It’s always good hearing from you. I love reading your posts. I’m soooooooo excited for your upcoming 2 years. YAY you will join me on the 2 year wagon. I’m also excited that this will be our year for complete healing. As we are already seeing nice progress. This will be our year! 

 

I’m also enjoying new things again. Like eating smoke sausages and walking more. I’m going to get back to riding in the car this week. I won’t know unless I try it again. Right? I’m also planning on walking further away from my apartment door. I’m going to try the parking lot or the sidewalks this week. I think I’ll try it today. Wooohooo im excited to try it! Would be nice if I had someone with me. But I don’t so im not going to let that stop me.

Love you bunches! 🌹❤️

 

Thanks LD!  I was also thinking I'm far out enough for peppermint tea to not be instigating anything.  I'm thinking this is my post-COVID hissy fit because my nervous system didn't like having to fight the virus.  So interesting how there is cross-talk between the nervous system and our immune system.  I'm now eagerly awaiting my post-viral post-wave window!!!!  Last year when I had a bad cold I was "off" for about a month afterwards.  Let's hope this time it's shorter :-)

 

SO HAPPY to hear of your progress as well.  It's just so slow we sometimes can't fully comprehend it, but indeed we have made huge progress in the past year.  I think the most bothersome of our symptoms (for you riding in a car....for me my fibro nerve pain) will be the last of the symptoms to go, but THEY WILL GO....slowly but surely.

 

I finished the Doc Martin series, so thoroughly enjoyed it and looking for something new to distract with. So hard to find a series that I like that much.  Before that I was hooked on Monk.

 

Any suggestions from our group???

Yes you’re right. All of these symptoms will go in time. Thanks for that reminder. You’re doing so well. Enjoy your tea my dear. I do believe that you’re having the after effects of having COVID. It will settle soon enough.

Currently I’m watching Locke and Key on Netflix. So far I really like it. Have you tried Outlander? Sweet Magnolias? The Cook of Castamar? Anne with an E?

Love and hugs 🤗

[[La...]]

Hope you all are having some peace tonight.  I am battling Covid and my sx are more intense.  Does anyone have a vibrating electric feeling in there stomach?  It is painful and has me doubled over?  Anyone?

Big hugs Upper 🤗 hope you recover quickly. Yes I’ve had that vibrating electric feeling. Mine comes and goes. It doesn’t stay long. Hope yours go away soon.

[[La...]]

Whelp, so much for the window.  I think I just threw myself into a wave.  I joined a gallbladder support group, and encountered a lot of horror stories.  I guess it's just like here in that respect, but maybe one support group is enough and I shouldn't have tried a new one. 

 

I didn't sleep very much last night and feel very agitated today.  Feeling right back in it again and hope it's short lived. 

 

Pashu, welcome to the group.

 

I hope everyone else is hanging in there today.

hang in there. You’ll settle back down soon. Yes perhaps it was a bit too much for you but there’s no telling. I pray it’s short lived too.

[[La...]]

Live, Deanna, Stitch, Accidental, GG, Pashu, Upper, Lisa, JBen, Sandy and everyone else.

 

LOVE to you!❤️❤️❤️

 

Today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday….and you made it!

These waves/ symptoms are so very frustrating, ridiculous, scary, disruptive and debilitating as well as a few other words that I might get in trouble if I say them. 

Friends, I just want all of us to heal as soon as possible. We’re getting there. Slowly but surely. I feel that if we’re feeling it then it’s healing it! I’m up and down just like you all are. One day rough the next better. Another day mostly a window. Recycle and repeat. Wow! Can’t we just be done already, right?

 

Accidental I really am feeling bad for you to have to make such a decision. If I were you if I were in your shoes ( and I was about 3 years ago) since the surgery is eminent, I would go ahead and get it over with. My doctor told me that it wouldn’t be wise to let myself get in an emergency situation with a bad gallbladder. I honestly think the Ambien was part of the blame for my gb issues. If you’re religious just pray about it. I hope it all goes well.

 

❤️🌹❤️🌹❤️🌹❤️🌹❤️🌹❤️ Remember that you are a caterpillar in your cocoon turning into a butterfly. It takes time but there’s healing changes happening. When the process is complete you will be a beautiful free entity never again a caterpillar. 🦋

[[de...]]

Lady Den:  Thanks for those encouraging words.  Dang!  Yesterday I was barely hanging on, today is much better.  Talk about a roller coaster.  This will end one day and we will all be healed!  I cannot wait for that day, not just for me, but for all my Benzo Buddies. 

 

Accidental:  Thinking about you and the decision you have to make regarding your gall bladder.  I know it is not a complicated surgery, but it is surgery nonetheless. 

 

Hoping everyone is having a decent day. 

[[le...]]

Hope you are all doing OK, I’m about the same, no real progress but not getting horrible  waves at moment, so could be worse. Just feel flat most of the time, really thought after all this time would been recovered by  now. Keep questioning why I’m still in limbo.

Saw a friend Wednesday who tested positive for Covid yesterday so hoping don’t get it again. They really should bring back mask wearing here. The cases as high as in the 1 st wave when we had 1 st lockdown. No restrictions, people don’t even have to isolate. Our local hospital got lit cases. Really annoying as we were going to see friends at weekend, and had cancel my Pilates class just in case get it.

Someone was looking for TV recommendations, it’s rubbish here at moment, nothing but boring tennis. The Good Place is a good watch on Netflix. I was also gripped by The staircase, sort of documentary follows  a real life trial a few years ago, really interesting to watch.

So still in Groundhog Day. Get really angry at GP’s, got, couple friends got bad backs, both been put on tramadol and amitriptyline, one been given diazapam as well. No thought given to whether these meds can be addictive.

[[De...]]

Hi Leann - Thanks for the TV recommendations.  Yes really liked the Good Place - binged that one last summer and I loved that it was so lighthearted and funny while touching on some really deep concepts.  I am now into Kingdom on British streaming Acorn...It is filling the void for now, but not that many episodes overall.  Trying my fancy at Murdoch mysteries and Midsomer murders but sometimes the storylines are too intense just before bedtime.  Love love love Sherlock also but have to pay $2.99 for each episode on Amazon prime 

 

Yes I understand the frustration of hanging in limbo.  I am currently in a week-long wave after the COVID thing.  So working my way back to baseline and then who knows when I'll experience the next leg upwards.  Could be many many months.  But at least mostly functional for now.  I'm taking it day by day.  The whole world is so dysfunctional (socially, economically, geopolitically) bc of the pandemic.  The world will never be the same as it was before the pandemic.  A seismic shift in my opinion.

 

I know they give this poison out like candy.  So frustrating that our experience doesn't deter the use of these drugs one tiny bit.  We can only live our own lives to our best potential.  I think humanity has many flaws, and we will not resolve them in our lifetime anyway. 

[[La...]]

Lady Den:  Thanks for those encouraging words.  Dang!  Yesterday I was barely hanging on, today is much better.  Talk about a roller coaster.  This will end one day and we will all be healed!  I cannot wait for that day, not just for me, but for all my Benzo Buddies. 

 

Accidental:  Thinking about you and the decision you have to make regarding your gall bladder.  I know it is not a complicated surgery, but it is surgery nonetheless. 

 

Hoping everyone is having a decent day.

I know what you mean. I felt pretty decent the past couple of days. This morning not so good so far. Roller coaster for sure but not the fun kind. Oh well we keep pressing on. I can’t wait for us all to be healed too. Hope today is better for you. Hugs 🤗

[[La...]]

Hope you are all doing OK, I’m about the same, no real progress but not getting horrible  waves at moment, so could be worse. Just feel flat most of the time, really thought after all this time would been recovered by  now. Keep questioning why I’m still in limbo.

Saw a friend Wednesday who tested positive for Covid yesterday so hoping don’t get it again. They really should bring back mask wearing here. The cases as high as in the 1 st wave when we had 1 st lockdown. No restrictions, people don’t even have to isolate. Our local hospital got lit cases. Really annoying as we were going to see friends at weekend, and had cancel my Pilates class just in case get it.

Someone was looking for TV recommendations, it’s rubbish here at moment, nothing but boring tennis. The Good Place is a good watch on Netflix. I was also gripped by The staircase, sort of documentary follows  a real life trial a few years ago, really interesting to watch.

So still in Groundhog Day. Get really angry at GP’s, got, couple friends got bad backs, both been put on tramadol and amitriptyline, one been given diazapam as well. No thought given to whether these meds can be addictive.

Sorry you’re struggling. Hope okay brings a window. Big hugs my dear!

I agree that the mask should be implemented again especially since there’s two new variants that are highly transmitted circling around along with the ones before it. I guess many people don’t want to cover their faces. It might get to the point where it’s mandatory again. I wouldn’t be surprised.

We all are having our groundhog days as well. All we can do is do our best to get through the day. Keep hoping that tomorrow will be the day we wake up healed. Even though it’s been a long journey we keep going. When it’s our time to have completed healing it will be worth the wait.

❤️🤗❤️🤗

[[La...]]

Morning hugs to everyone! Wishing the window fairy 🧚‍♀️ come around giving out windows…long permanent ones, right? 

Deanna I agree with you. Humanity flaws will not be resolved. There’s always room for improvements if people are willing to do the work. First it starts with self honesty. That is a tough thing to do. I hope you feel better today. Mine is rough so far. Resting up is what I’ll be doing.

 

[[le...]]

Hi Leann - Thanks for the TV recommendations.  Yes really liked the Good Place - binged that one last summer and I loved that it was so lighthearted and funny while touching on some really deep concepts.  I am now into Kingdom on British streaming Acorn...It is filling the void for now, but not that many episodes overall.  Trying my fancy at Murdoch mysteries and Midsomer murders but sometimes the storylines are too intense just before bedtime.  Love love love Sherlock also but have to pay $2.99 for each episode on Amazon prime 

 

Yes I understand the frustration of hanging in limbo.  I am currently in a week-long wave after the COVID thing.  So working my way back to baseline and then who knows when I'll experience the next leg upwards.  Could be many many months.  But at least mostly functional for now.  I'm taking it day by day.  The whole world is so dysfunctional (socially, economically, geopolitically) bc of the pandemic.  The world will never be the same as it was before the pandemic.  A seismic shift in my opinion.

 

I know they give this poison out like candy.  So frustrating that our experience doesn't deter the use of these drugs one tiny bit.  We can only live our own lives to our best potential.  I think humanity has many flaws, and we will not resolve them in our lifetime anyway.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hi Deanna, I find midsummer murders bit syrupy very old fashioned ,like Call the Midwife not my cup of tea. I like meaty dramas, but I know some find them too stimulating. Have you watched the Sinner, enjoyed all of those. Anatomy of a Scandal is very good.Hope you soon recover from Covid, just hoping I don’t get it again. My friend feeling quite unwell with it. Just get so angry they lifted all restrictions here and don’t test anyone coming in. Cases are as bad as in the first lockdown. It’s not too much of a hardship to wear a mask, lot people walking around not bothering to even stay at home anymore.