12-24 months and up support group

[[Pa...]]

Have a great day everyone

[[Li...]]

ThatOneGirlStitch,

Yes. It's nice to know I'm not alone. I'm sorry you have the same issue, though. Hopefully the more we heal this will be all behind us.

 

Accidental,

I so appreciate your encouraging words even though you're struggling. We're all in this together and have to keep each other encouraged and strengthened. We have to just keep moving forward. One day, 1 hour, one minute at a time.

 

LadyDen,

As always thank you so much for your encouraging words. Sure would love the window fairy to give me a nice big long window that never closes. That would be fabulous! Better than that would be great to wake up healed. I wish that for all of us.

 

Hugs!

 

LiveLife

[[de...]]

Hey Buddies:  I am really struggling!  So much anxiety!  Feeling hopeless!  I will be 28 months on July 14.  How can I keep going like this??  Sorry to be such a downer, but I am feeling so low!  It is hard to believe that I was working part time; I have had to stop for now but they are going to let me come back in September.  Now I can barely get out of bed.  My husband is trying to be supportive but he is weary as well. 

 

Hope everyone manages to have a decent day! 

[[He...]]

Hi 12-24 monthers.  I'd love to jump in this group if I may.  I'm 13 months off all meds and needing some support. I'm familiar with some of you.  I'll check in on this thread from time time time. It seems like a compassionate group.  Thank you to Lady Den and Garden Guru for welcoming me before my first post. 

 

 

[[le...]]

Yes they are a lovely group on here, I’ve just reached 24 months off the AD’s but hoping I can stick around. Recently discovered the Breakfast Club, everyone one on there seems very supportive. Sometime people can be bit outspoken and critical on main forum, but you will always get support here. Especially Lady den.

[[He...]]

Thank you Leann. We like having you on the Breakfast Club too. 

[[Ga...]]

Welcome to our sweet Helen😻😻😻.  This is a very compassionate, smart, funny, and above all supportive group!  Even though I am now almost at my 28 month anniversary, I am hanging on to this group for dear life.  I was diagnosed once again with a UTI, so must have not gotten rid of whatever I had in June.  I am not feeling very well, so probably the Ceftin that I tolerated well last January seems to be dragging me under with all sorts of acute symptoms.  This journey is for the birds….just like the birds that attacked Tippi Hedrin in the film The Birds.  Nasty evil swarming birds.

 

Decatur and I are running a similar race so we know that this is all bwd, as miserable as it is.  Hang on to me Decatur….we can lean on each other until we are over and done with this awful experience.

 

BTW, I just came across a book about a woman’s journey with Ativan given for sleep and her long journey back to good health.  It is titled, Blood Orange Night:  My Journey to the Edge of Madness, by Melissa Bond.  I will read it when I feel better.

 

I have to schedule my biopsy as soon as the UTI is gone, and will be more than happy to have it over and done with.

 

Happy Saturday from a water logged GG here in the mid-Atlantic😍🙏😍🙏😍🙏.  I sure hope everyone is at least somewhat free from their particular symptoms! 

 

Hugs,

 

GG

[[Up...]]

That book is not for the faint of heart.  Also be aware she went back on her benzo and is not tapering to gain function.  Hold on guys it does get easier in time they say.

[[La...]]

I think the most asked question in withdrawal is, “How long is this going to last?” Because of the persisting symptoms, it is inevitable that one will desperately want to know how much longer the suffering will last. So it’s near-impossible to not ask this question. One week of symptoms is a week too long.

 

If you find that thoughts of duration are preoccupying your mind, don’t be hard on yourself. Accept that it is normal to want to know. But also remind yourself that this is a question no one can answer and the more you obsess about it, the more frustrated and upset you will become. A watched pot seems never to boil. The more you focus on duration, the more you will lose patience. And patience is key to coping well.

 

So, as you navigate your way through another day of withdrawal, see if you can make peace with the process, and dig deep down for more patience. Don’t project too far ahead. For now, it is about getting through the day, trusting that tomorrow will take care of itself.

 

Trust that no matter how long this process is taking, healing is happening and you are headed for recovery. The time will come when you will be able to put this experience behind you and move on.

 

I know I say this a lot but it is oh so important.  I am just asking you to please remember that the best approach to withdrawal is to recognize that no matter how much you resist and struggle against the process, nothing will change other than that there will be a possible increase in your stress levels and resulting intensification of some symptoms. It makes sense to not resist the symptoms and to accept them as a necessary path to and part of your recovery journey.

 

You must keep reminding yourself that what is happening is normal and that like the many people before you, the symptoms will eventually disappear and you will recover. It just does not make sense to be constantly struggling against what is happening (your nervous system healing). It is unrealistic and it compounds matters, causing immense stress, which in turn can make the symptoms even more intense.

 

Accepting the presence of the symptoms doesn’t necessarily mean you are in a zen-like state, smiling happily and affirming that you are healing! It just means that you have realized there is nothing you can do but wait for the healing to be completed. And that no amount of resistance will change the fact that this is a “time” issue and that patience is key.

 

So, keep holding on… keep going… and be as accepting and as patient as you can be. One day this nightmare will be over and you will be able to move on. Keep ploughing ahead.

 

When people have recovered, they always say how content they are, how grateful they feel and how even the simplest things bring them joy. They also say that having been able to cope with withdrawal has made them profoundly appreciate how strong and courageous they are and that they can’t imagine anything in life ever having the ability to affect them as much as withdrawal did. Nothing will ever faze them. This has also been my experience.

 

I know it may be near-impossible for you to see any good coming out of your situation at this time, but one day you will feel differently. I don’t know what your gifts will be, but I do believe there will be some. I know that today, all you may be thinking about is coping with the symptoms and getting through the day, but this will change as you continue to heal. Remember, these symptoms are going to go one day, and go for good. You will be delighted that you have recovered, and you will say the same as those who made it to the other side.

 

I’ve always said I wouldn’t swap anything for the feelings of gratitude and the “preciousness” of life which I now enjoy. No matter how intense things are for you today, please trust that your time is coming. You will be able to sit back, reflect and smile gently to yourself when you think of all you have overcome and how strong you truly are.

 

While you wait, please never lose sight of the fact that everything that is happening now is leading you to recovery. All you have to do is hold on, allow the process to unfold, and take good care of yourself in the meantime. You are going to make it to the other side.

 

--Baylissa Frederick

 

I’m in a very bad wave since yesterday. I really needed to hear this. I thought you all needed it too so I had to share it. Love to you all.❤️❤️❤️

[[Ga...]]

Lady Den, Thank you so much for sharing this message from Baylissa.  It is a good and much needed reminder that in the worst of times we are still healing.  I hope you feel better soon, LD, as so many of us are waiting for your 70’s disco party.  I am so ready to shake my booty and have a groovy time with my fellow buddies!

 

Hugs,

 

GG

[[De...]]

Hi Leann - Thanks for the TV recommendations.  Yes really liked the Good Place - binged that one last summer and I loved that it was so lighthearted and funny while touching on some really deep concepts.  I am now into Kingdom on British streaming Acorn...It is filling the void for now, but not that many episodes overall.  Trying my fancy at Murdoch mysteries and Midsomer murders but sometimes the storylines are too intense just before bedtime.  Love love love Sherlock also but have to pay $2.99 for each episode on Amazon prime 

 

Yes I understand the frustration of hanging in limbo.  I am currently in a week-long wave after the COVID thing.  So working my way back to baseline and then who knows when I'll experience the next leg upwards.  Could be many many months.  But at least mostly functional for now.  I'm taking it day by day.  The whole world is so dysfunctional (socially, economically, geopolitically) bc of the pandemic.  The world will never be the same as it was before the pandemic.  A seismic shift in my opinion.

 

I know they give this poison out like candy.  So frustrating that our experience doesn't deter the use of these drugs one tiny bit.  We can only live our own lives to our best potential.  I think humanity has many flaws, and we will not resolve them in our lifetime anyway.

 

 

Hi Deanna, I find midsummer murders bit syrupy very old fashioned ,like Call the Midwife not my cup of tea. I like meaty dramas, but I know some find them too stimulating. Have you watched the Sinner, enjoyed all of those. Anatomy of a Scandal is very good.Hope you soon recover from Covid, just hoping I don’t get it again. My friend feeling quite unwell with it. Just get so angry they lifted all restrictions here and don’t test anyone coming in. Cases are as bad as in the first lockdown. It’s not too much of a hardship to wear a mask, lot people walking around not bothering to even stay at home anymore.

 

Thanks for the additional TV recommendations Leann!!

[[He...]]

GG and Decatur,

 

I am sorry you are both suffering so heavily right now.  I'll hold you both in my thoughts.

 

GG, thanks for the warm welcome.  Not a good day for me at all but grateful for Lady Den posting Baylissa's beautiful words and grateful for all of you here. 

[[La...]]

Welcome Helen!

Very happy to have you here with us. We are yearlings! Grab your 👑 crown and put up a fight for your right to be a healed queen.

❤️🌹

[[La...]]

Welcome to our sweet Helen😻😻😻.  This is a very compassionate, smart, funny, and above all supportive group!  Even though I am now almost at my 28 month anniversary, I am hanging on to this group for dear life.  I was diagnosed once again with a UTI, so must have not gotten rid of whatever I had in June.  I am not feeling very well, so probably the Ceftin that I tolerated well last January seems to be dragging me under with all sorts of acute symptoms.  This journey is for the birds….just like the birds that attacked Tippi Hedrin in the film The Birds.  Nasty evil swarming birds.

 

Decatur and I are running a similar race so we know that this is all bwd, as miserable as it is.  Hang on to me Decatur….we can lean on each other until we are over and done with this awful experience.

 

BTW, I just came across a book about a woman’s journey with Ativan given for sleep and her long journey back to good health.  It is titled, Blood Orange Night:  My Journey to the Edge of Madness, by Melissa Bond.  I will read it when I feel better.

 

I have to schedule my biopsy as soon as the UTI is gone, and will be more than happy to have it over and done with.

 

Happy Saturday from a water logged GG here in the mid-Atlantic😍🙏😍🙏😍🙏.  I sure hope everyone is at least somewhat free from their particular symptoms! 

 

Hugs,

 

GG

GG my dear sweetheart 

I’m so tired of those UTI paying back to back visits. So unfair! Sending you love and feel better soon. You’re in my prayers.

[[La...]]

ThatOneGirlStitch,

Yes. It's nice to know I'm not alone. I'm sorry you have the same issue, though. Hopefully the more we heal this will be all behind us.

 

Accidental,

I so appreciate your encouraging words even though you're struggling. We're all in this together and have to keep each other encouraged and strengthened. We have to just keep moving forward. One day, 1 hour, one minute at a time.

 

LadyDen,

As always thank you so much for your encouraging words. Sure would love the window fairy to give me a nice big long window that never closes. That would be fabulous! Better than that would be great to wake up healed. I wish that for all of us.

 

Hugs!

 

LiveLife

Lovely Live big hugs to you 

How’s your day?

[[La...]]

Hey Buddies:  I am really struggling!  So much anxiety!  Feeling hopeless!  I will be 28 months on July 14.  How can I keep going like this??  Sorry to be such a downer, but I am feeling so low!  It is hard to believe that I was working part time; I have had to stop for now but they are going to let me come back in September.  Now I can barely get out of bed.  My husband is trying to be supportive but he is weary as well. 

 

Hope everyone manages to have a decent day!

Close your ears while I cuss out your symptoms…..*(‘&”#%$(*’l%@‘{!£§+\*😜

I’m getting slammed too girl. Must be in the water. All of a sudden BAM! My wave started with one of those weird suddenly spin out of control episodes on yesterday. You know the feel like having a seizure vertigo things?I haven’t had one of those in awhile  scared me so bad yesterday! I sure hope today is better for you my dear. I’m with you in the bed prison again. 

🤗❤️🙏 If you see that window fairy catch her quick! She’s being stingy with those windows.

[[Ga...]]

Bless you, LadyDen, for your love and support.  I will be so glad when my female parts settle down and I can get off the antibiotics.  I think my central nervous system will calm down and allow me to get back into the lovely windows we all long for!

 

Hugs and hoping for a lovely window for you!!

 

GG

[[La...]]

Hi Leann - Thanks for the TV recommendations.  Yes really liked the Good Place - binged that one last summer and I loved that it was so lighthearted and funny while touching on some really deep concepts.  I am now into Kingdom on British streaming Acorn...It is filling the void for now, but not that many episodes overall.  Trying my fancy at Murdoch mysteries and Midsomer murders but sometimes the storylines are too intense just before bedtime.  Love love love Sherlock also but have to pay $2.99 for each episode on Amazon prime 

 

Yes I understand the frustration of hanging in limbo.  I am currently in a week-long wave after the COVID thing.  So working my way back to baseline and then who knows when I'll experience the next leg upwards.  Could be many many months.  But at least mostly functional for now.  I'm taking it day by day.  The whole world is so dysfunctional (socially, economically, geopolitically) bc of the pandemic.  The world will never be the same as it was before the pandemic.  A seismic shift in my opinion.

 

I know they give this poison out like candy.  So frustrating that our experience doesn't deter the use of these drugs one tiny bit.  We can only live our own lives to our best potential.  I think humanity has many flaws, and we will not resolve them in our lifetime anyway.

 

 

Hi Deanna, I find midsummer murders bit syrupy very old fashioned ,like Call the Midwife not my cup of tea. I like meaty dramas, but I know some find them too stimulating. Have you watched the Sinner, enjoyed all of those. Anatomy of a Scandal is very good.Hope you soon recover from Covid, just hoping I don’t get it again. My friend feeling quite unwell with it. Just get so angry they lifted all restrictions here and don’t test anyone coming in. Cases are as bad as in the first lockdown. It’s not too much of a hardship to wear a mask, lot people walking around not bothering to even stay at home anymore.

 

Thanks for the additional TV recommendations Leann!!

Good place  I’ll check it out too. How are you doing darling? Any better?

[[La...]]

Have a great day everyone

Thank you, Pashu! You have a beautiful day too. How are you feeling today?

[[Ga...]]

Oh, sorry, LD, I just saw that you are in a wave and are also waiting for the elusive window to open.  It sure seems like many of us are down in the dumps and couch or bed bound, and in similar timeframes.  You may be right that something is in the water😱😱😱😱😱💐

 

Hugs,

 

GG

[[La...]]

Yes they are a lovely group on here, I’ve just reached 24 months off the AD’s but hoping I can stick around. Recently discovered the Breakfast Club, everyone one on there seems very supportive. Sometime people can be bit outspoken and critical on main forum, but you will always get support here. Especially Lady den.

Yes we are lovely because we have such lovely buddies like you! 

Did you read the Baylissa message I posted? 

Never lose hope!

[[La...]]

GG that water is contaminated for real 🤬🤢😭😵‍💫

This wave is a hot bed of crazy hot mess! It’s not acute but they’re certainly cousins. Good lord in heaven! 🙏

How are you doing today?

[[Ga...]]

Hi LD.  Well, be it the antibiotic or just a nasty wave, I feel plain old awful with terrible headache, chills, overall aches and pains, and fatigue. Last Thursday I was at the grocery store for over an hour and actually enjoyed loading up several bags of healthy food.  Now I feel too sick to fix anything!  Friday was not so good and now today totally down and out.  I have that buzzy warm feeling in my head, so know some of my symptoms are wave induced.  The antibiotic is probably adding to my woes, but I have to get rid of this uti!  I have been on the Ceftin for four days, so hoping I only have to take it three more days…usually it is prescribed for seven to ten days.  I felt better after two days on it, but now feel worse. 

 

You, me, Decatur, and Helen seem to be really suffering, which is crazy and unbelievable at the same time.  Oh, and Helen mentioned Sage and Fire were not feeling well either.

 

May tomorrow bring each and every one of us some relief from our physical and mental anguish!!!!!

 

Hugs,

 

GG

[[de...]]

Lady Den:  Thanks so much for the Baylissa quote.  It was so good to read that and be reminded of not resisting the process.  So sorry you are sruggling today.

 

What is going on with all of us that are struggling at the same time?  It is just weird that there are quite a few of us that are about on the same timeline that are currently experiencing acute like symptoms! 

 

GG:  Hopefully your UTI is starting to fade.  Get lots of rest!!!  I bet you will feel much better in a couple of days. 

 

Helen:  Welcome to the group.  So glad you are here!  This is such a great group; lots of support.

 

Thanks to everyone for reaching out to me today.  It is a brutal one.  I am trying to not fight the symptoms, and trying to be grateful for all the wonderful things in my life. 

 

Decatur

[[La...]]

I changed this group heading because I don’t want anyone to think for a minute that they aren’t welcome here if they’re above 24 months. I’m 24 months and 2 weeks. I’m definitely not leaving 

I have too much love for you guys and receive that love back. Having said that, I honestly feel that without that supporting love we all would be lost ball in very high weeds seeing our family and friends don’t understand this. I’m glad I posted that Baylissa message so we all can scroll back on the very tough days to remind ourselves that we are in a complicated process of healing. But it IS occurring daily. Whether we think we won’t or think we do…we will anyway IF we just keep taking one day at a time benzo free. I know this seems unfair…we all think or say that but when we really think about it, it is what is necessary. Would you want to drive over a bridge that was constructed in a day? Or a bridge that was carefully constructed with every nook and cranny made safe? That takes time and precision. That’s exactly what our brains are doing. It has to fix it right, not half assed. ( sorry moderators if that’s considered cussing). I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to have to deal with these waves and symptoms for the rest of my life. I’d rather be patient, get through each day and let my brain heal it for good…however long it takes. Although highly inconvenient. Painfully slow. Frustrating. Debilitating and so on. Taking a couple or a few years is worth it to me. Especially looking at it compared to the rest of my life. There’s nobody in this whole universe that can convince us that we’re not brave strong warriors after enduring this….no that’s wrong….we are brave strong warriors RIGHT NOW! I’m in a hell of a wave day 2 now at 24 1/2 months but guess what? It will end. I thought to myself earlier I don’t mind those thoughts anymore that I won’t heal. Because I want to wait and watch it get proved wrong.  I’ve read so many posts that starts off like that. “ I thought it was permanent and I won’t heal. Boy was I wrong. Even being the worst case.” Friends, all of those people are not lying. What benefit would they have for posting such long elaborate success stories as a lie? Think about it…all of those people don’t know each other. Nobody conspired from all over the world to post false success stories. They did heal. We will too. Time to get our success stories ready too. 

I feel like crap warmed over in a cast iron pot but I’m also inspired by Baylissa’s words. I hope it gave you renewed hope too. ❤️