12-24 months and up support group

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Wonderful to hear you have such an amazing person in your life LadyD.  That can make all the difference in the world.  I am lucky enough to have that too.  Wow covid. That is crazy.  Glad you are getting past it.  Hugs to you my friend.

[[Ha...]]

So sorry to hear that you had Covid LD. I suspect it wasn’t all suffering when you have a beau at your side!

Keep resting and giving/receiving LOVE.

How lovely of Helen to be your BB postman, she’s a star.

I had a good spell but back in a wave now……never mind, we live to fight another day.

Hardy xx

[[le...]]

Glad you are feeling a bit better Lady D. Sounds like you were unlucky to have it so bad. I wasn’t very bad at all when I had it, just bit temperature for a day. I did have the first 2 vaxs though, so maybe that helped. Get well soon xx

[[Li...]]

LadyDen,

 

So good to hear from you. I'm sorry to hear that you had covid. But it's wonderful you had someone by your side taking care of you and I'm glad to hear that you're improving. Congratulations on month 31. I'm month 32 on Wednesday. Sending you big hugs!

 

LiveLife

[[He...]]

Welcome back LD! You were definitely missed here. Take your time and keep resting.

 

Hardy, I hope your wave passes soon. I'm thinking of you and YOU are a star yourself.

 

Best thoughts to everyone here.

 

I'm leaving for a vacation tomorrow with my hubby.  I've been in a big, bad wave and it's not over but I think when I get the travel day behind me, I'll settle down some.  Lots of symptoms going on here but as Hardy says, "we live to fight another day". 

 

 

Ciao.

[[Ha...]]

I hope you are able to have a wonderful holiday Helen. Leave all your troubles behind!

I want to hear all about it when you return.

Hardy xx

[[Pa...]]

I feel like the pain in my head has been getting worse lately. It's just incredibly depressing.

[[Th...]]

Hey, Pashu.

It's natural to be depressed when we depend on an kind of improvement.

My GI issues randomly got worse for 2 months before going back to baseline. I was depressed/frustrated crying and it made me feel hopeless. I hate waiting for things to lift.

These up and downs feel like your body is playing mind games. What is now is not forever. Things keep fluctuation.

<3

[[Th...]]

Welcome back Lady Den!

Covid!? oh dear! What a warrior you covid people are. One of my biggest fears. I am so happy you are on the mend I hope healing comes rapidly.

 

Leann

Been reading your post. I'm sorry to not have replied. I know things are difficult and I wish I could wipe away the symptoms. I hope the therapy is helping and have been rooting for you.

[[Li...]]

Helen,

I'm so sorry to hear you're in a wave. That's great you're gonna be able to go on a vacation anyway I sure hope you enjoy yourself. Big hugs!

 

LiveLife

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Hi Everyone,

 

I’ve been away for a bit as my symptoms have been so ramped up so I crawled into a hole of suffering and was having some depression due to the discomfort. Thank you so much for all your encouraging replies to my post and for the uplifting support.

 

I had a bad respiratory infection and am still recovering from it. My doc did blood work to check for virus and she said the lab showed that I had Covid at some point in the past 3 months or so. I told her I never felt anything other than dealing with my WD symptoms, but have been in a wave for 2 months it seems. I didn’t have it with this infection, but perhaps it is remnants of it.

I have a cough that is just hanging around and have coughed so much that I have pain in my intercostal muscles and ribs, so it’s hard to breathe sometimes and when I cough it’s very painful. So this on top of my other symptoms has just been a tulmultous storm. Hopefully all this will resolve soon.

 

I’m still having the terrible burning brain and body, and now dealing with deep muscle and bone pain in my legs which is a new symptom at month 13. I don’t understand why I’m having this now so late into my withdrawals? It makes no sense.

 

All these pounding symptoms have me very concerned and discouraged. Everyday is just existing and exhausting mentally. The anxiety is so high and I’m wondering if all this can make someone go crazy??

I don’t even feel like the same person. It’s like my past was some other person, who was so happy and felt good herself, enjoyed life and loved giving back.

I feel none of that now. Gosh I hope I get myself back from all this. It makes me sad to feel so lost and alone. I think if I had family it would help me. I do have a few friends that pray for me for which I am grateful. My closest friend isn’t really around to talk with anymore but I understand.

I’m so grateful for each of you and the support you share.

 

Since being severenced from my company, and not having my job now makes me feel very isolated and alone. It was a very stressful job but a good distraction. It’s been since Dec 9th snd I was hoping the work stress not being around woukd really help me heal. But it seems to have gone another direction.

My existence centers around just getting through the painful symptoms each day.

I pray each night that my miracle is on the way.

But I wake up in pain and the dance continues.

I judt don’t know why it seems so much worse with things now.

 

I’m so sorry for those of us that are still struggling so greatly and are in waves or being washed in the raging surf. I pray the calm will come just like in the Bible where it says about Jesus where “even the winds and the waves obey him”.

 

LadyDen I’m so sorry you had Covid but am so happy you had a sweetheart to take care of you. I’m so glad you are feeling better.

GG I’m so glad that you are doing much better as well.

 

Helen, enjoy your vacation and hoping the wave will settle.

Jorgen, Pashu, Livelife, Leann, JBen, Fortitude, Hardy, Stich and others, I’m thinking of you as well.

 

Sending you all lots of love! 💕🙏

[[Li...]]

My dear sweet Jordan.

 

I am so sorry that you're suffering so much. I completely emphasize with you and I'm right there too. I get some mini little breaks now and then 10 to 15 minutes, it shows me that I can recover but it's not enough.  So hoping for a big break and relief for all of us. I'm so sorry that you're lonely and that since you left your job it seems to be worse. Hoping so much that things settle down for you and I and all of us. We definitely need a big long break and relief. Big hugs!

 

LiveLife

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Dear Jordan

What you write, could have been written by me. Same story.

The words of Winston Churchill is guiding me: If you are going through hell, keep going.

Sending hugs and love

Jørgen

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Hope you are all doing OK. I’ve jumped off the diazapam, was only on tiny dose for short term, hoping I haven’t put myself back. But was in such bad way, with thoughts we can’t mention literally every day for couple months, got stage needed something. Whether it was virus, flu jab really don’t know but far worse than acute symptoms. Trying to believe this year I will recover, symptoms do vary and haven’t been totally non functional the whole 4 years. I just get frustrated seems no pills to fix this, plus self help measures only help to a degree. I do think other factors affect recovery, nearly year of lockdown, then my Mum’s spiteful behaviour cutting me out her will all add fuel to the fire. Anyway hope those of you suffering setbacks and illness recover soon. I have learned it is very non linear process, and eventually we all get brief respites from this.😄

[[Ha...]]

Non linear is SO true Leann. If only we could chart a straight line to recovery! It’s only because of this forum that we rest (or not) in the knowledge that others have healed.

I’m very glad you are able to do more.

Christmas  set me back and then my hubby’s 70th set me back. These lovely events are just far too stimulating! At the moment, a boring life is a happy one 🤨

Hardy xx

[[Ha...]]

I like the cold weather. I’m always too hot! I prefer winter to summer strangely.

[[Li...]]

Hello my buddies,

 

I am waiting once again in the hospital for my husband to have outpatient surgery, connected to his prostate cancer.  Barely slept last night we had to be up by 6 AM. It is so difficult in benzo recovery. I have to drive home and we are having a bad snow storm. I am so scared. My symptoms are raging and this is so stressful! I am so alone and discouraged.

I am 32 months today and still hoping to turn the corner.

Big hugs!

 

LiveLife

[[Li...]]

I am home now and so exhausted. I tried to rest a little bit and dozed off and had a toxic nap with incredible fear! When will this ever end?  Hugs!

 

LiveLife

[[jo...]]

My dear sweet Jordan.

 

I am so sorry that you're suffering so much. I completely emphasize with you and I'm right there too. I get some mini little breaks now and then 10 to 15 minutes, it shows me that I can recover but it's not enough.  So hoping for a big break and relief for all of us. I'm so sorry that you're lonely and that since you left your job it seems to be worse. Hoping so much that things settle down for you and I and all of us. We definitely need a big long break and relief. Big hugs!

 

LiveLife

 

Thank you so much Livelife. I’m so very sorry that you are still struggling as well. I’m glad that you are having some mini breaks; your final big break is on the way! I’m sorry that the fear is raging, but I know your success story is on the way.

 

This is all so unfair with the ups and downs. Do you have other physical symptoms?  It seems I’m having much more downs; sadly. I hope you feel much better soon and also hope that your husband is feeling better as well.  I think of you often. You are always so kind and supportive. It’s so very hard.

 

This recent bad cold seems to have done a number on me. My body is so sore and I feel weak, on top of the burning, perhaps it’s a big healing surge. This has all just gone on for too long!!

It’s hard not being able to enjoy things and feel joy inside. So I’m praying that the miracle is around the corner for you, me and all of us here.

 

I pray that renewed strength and healing will soon be ours.

Sending you big hugs! Bless you! 🙏💕🤗

[[jo...]]

Dear Jordan

What you write, could have been written by me. Same story.

The words of Winston Churchill is guiding me: If you are going through hell, keep going.

Sending hugs and love

Jørgen

 

Thank you Jorgen, I’m just so sorry that you are enduring the same.  It is truly brutal. The painful burning brain and body, sore muscles and bones, on top of the mental anxiety and fear, are so very difficult to endure… especially for how long you and I have had this.

I don’t understand how it seems to be worse nor how just a small window of relief has not come. I wonder if it’s because I’m older.

 

Perhaps for you and me it will just be one day it all disappears, instead of the subtle windows. It truly is the 7th circle of hell. So tired of hurting. Where do you have the muscle pain? Mine is mostly in my hips and legs. It feels like something squeezing them with a vice. I only started having this in the last few months.

 

I know we have to trust that we are healing although it doesn’t feel that way especially for this long.

I worry that this is more than Benzo withdrawals but since I never had this before, perhaps that’s all it is. But, I am older so sometimes I fear that it’s condition that’s non Benzo. The mind plays tricks for sure. I’m trying to be strong and positive, but it’s been very difficult this past month. I hope we are set free soon. It’s a lonely place to be especially seeing others that are living their happy lives. I’ve been battling some depression from all this because I feel so broken down in the suffering. I miss my former self and my beautiful life. I pray daily but sometimes feel like I’m loosing hope.

 

I pray you are feeling better soon. I think of you often since our journey is so similar.

I’m sending you big hugs! 🙏💕🤗

 

[[Du...]]

having very bad inner restlessness, will it go away?

[[le...]]

I am home now and so exhausted. I tried to rest a little bit and dozed off and had a toxic nap with incredible fear! When will this ever end?  Hugs!

 

LiveLife

[/quote

 

 

 

 

Well done you to have driven in a snowstorm. I haven’t be able to drive for a couple of years. I’m struggling a bit as come off the diazapam trying to tell myself I’ll be OK. Had stressful day yesterday our Apple Mac went wrong, spent hours on phone but can’t be fixed as too old, so more expensive. Hope your husband is OK. So cold here I hate winter it’s so depressing, but least no snow. But well done you. Not quite sure why I’ve got a watched symbol by my name haven’t written anything awful feel like not posting anything anymore  😄

[[Li...]]

Jordan,

Thank you so much for the encouraging words and positivity. Yes I do have physical symptoms as well lots of pain in the left side of my body, tingling, nausea, stomach pain cycling through. So difficult! I sure hope I am getting close to that final healing.

 

I'm so sorry you got that cold that might be making you feel a bit worse and hopefully once you're healed from that some things will settle down for you. I'm sure all your symptoms are a good sign of healing even though it doesn't feel like it.

 

We have to keep each other going and stay strong as difficult as it is.

 

Leann,

It was so difficult to drive in that snowstorm it's amazing what you do when you have to do it. I had no choice my husband had surgery and he was unable to. I'm glad that's behind me but I'm suffering so much today. I really hope I get a break. Sounds like you've been doing a little better so that's wonderful I hope you keep going and you see your final healing.

 

Sending big hugs to all!

 

LiveLife

 

 

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Dear Jordan

Yeah - it's so brutal and pure torture all day long. I just survive minute by minute, though I really try to distract my self during the day. But I am in practice totally invalidated. I have 25 symptoms, including the acid burning pain all over. Recently, I got it bad in my chest/lungs and my stomach has gone crazy with pain. I have a constant excruciating headache, tinnitus, DP/DR and a lot more.

 

I was recently in contact with the Bristol Transquilizer Project, which has existed in 35 years, where they help people like us in the UK. I gave them my list of symptoms, and they answered:

 

"What you are experiencing is normal and yes it can be bad all the way through until it stops. We have been seeing people like yourself for 30 years and your story and symptoms are similar to others. Although it seems impossible and no one believes that they will recover but they do and so will you. Keep going one day at a time and the recovery will happen."

 

I hope it can give you a little hope🙏. However, it is also hard for me to believe that I will ever get better...

Hugs, Jørgen

 

[[Li...]]

Leann,

I'm sorry you're not doing as well today. Hopefully this will pass for you. Thank you for the well wishes. I'm hoping I get a break soon too. On Sunday and Monday I had some tiny windows and I thought maybe I was turning a corner.