My Ambiem withdrawal

[[He...]]

Thank you for the kind reassurance Andrew.

 

I hope to be free of the shackles of this drug but at the same time live in fear of the next round of dose cutting and all the anxiety it will bring.

[[br...]]

I don't miss that feeling . stay strong . did you end up staying off the benzos

[[Pa...]]

The sense of freedom I feel is amazing, like Andrew said, to not be a slave to a stupid little pill is wonderful.  I'm still amazed I can sleep on my own, most of my dependence on substances was in the pursuit of sleep.  I drank so I could sleep, I took Klonopin for the same reason and turned to Ambien when I quit the Klonopin, and now, I can sleep on my own.

 

Headspace, seeing the Dr is a good thing, the cuts he's making bring you that much closer to your goal, and he's taking you safely off the drug. 

 

Are you still Lorazepam free?

[[He...]]

Hi Pamster, yes I’m still lorazepam free.

 

My journey started much like yours. In the pursuit of sleep.

 

I know the doc is a key tool in the recovery process, but each week he cuts just fills my mind with thoughts of how I will cope on the new schedule.

[[Pa...]]

Good to hear you've dumped the Lorazepam!  I feel that even though your Dr prescribed it, you not taking it will show him how committed you are to be free from these substances.

 

I don't know what your total dose is now, but you've come down quite a bit from your original dose and you're still standing, I say you got this. Let us know what your new schedule is okay, we're on this journey with you. 

 

 

[[He...]]

Just saw the doc this morning. Another round of cuts.

 

Deep anxiety now for the past 3 hours. Doesn’t seem to be disappearing. Tried everything I can. Help.

[[50...]]

sometimes the only way is through

[[Pa...]]

This is your chance, this is your time and you've suffered so long now, don't give up, 50shades is right, the only way out is through.  Don't make your suffering be for nothing, this is what it takes to get your life back.  I know it hurts, I know you can't see past your pain, but the good stuff is waiting for you if you have the courage to see it through.

 

You got you here and only you can get you out, there is no shortcut.  Please don't reach for anything other than your own strength to get you through this because nothing will help but time.  Every cut you make is getting you closer to freedom.

 

Please let us know your new doses.

[[He...]]

Hi Pamster, yesterday was a real train wreck. The unabating anxiety really wore me out. I know you say never to give up, but I’m starting to question if this strong anxiety is because of withdrawal or is it some underlying condition.

 

The weird thing is the anxiety just kicked in suddenly. I was safe at home, there was no change in Med dosage, no other triggers I could identify.

 

Did you get major anxiety attacks when you went cold turkey off ambien?

 

Ok, here’s my present schedule:

 

8am - 30mg ambien

12pm - 30 mg ambien

3pm - 40mg ambien, 1 lorazepam

7pm - 90mg ambien, 50mg Valdoxan, 150mg diphenhydramine

1am - 80 mg ambien, 1 lorazepam

 

 

Here’s the new schedule to be started this Saturday:

 

8am - 25mg ambien

12pm - 30 mg ambien

4pm - 30mg ambien

7pm - 80mg ambien, 50mg Valdoxan, 150mg diphenhydramine

1am (or when I wake up) - 70mg ambien, 10mg Valium

 

 

That’s a total cut of 35mg of ambien, but he added 10mg of Valium.

 

The doc also said the end goal was to convert everything to Valium and go down from there eventually.

 

[[50...]]

Hi Pamster, yesterday was a real train wreck. The unabating anxiety really wore me out. I know you say never to give up, but I’m starting to question if this strong anxiety is because of withdrawal or is it some underlying condition.

 

The weird thing is the anxiety just kicked in suddenly. I was safe at home, there was no change in Med dosage, no other triggers I could identify.

 

Did you get major anxiety attacks when you went cold turkey off ambien?

 

Ok, here’s my present schedule:

 

8am - 30mg ambien

12pm - 30 mg ambien

3pm - 40mg ambien, 1 lorazepam

7pm - 90mg ambien, 50mg Valdoxan, 150mg diphenhydramine

1am - 80 mg ambien, 1 lorazepam

 

 

Here’s the new schedule to be started this Saturday:

 

8am - 25mg ambien

12pm - 30 mg ambien

4pm - 30mg ambien

7pm - 80mg ambien, 50mg Valdoxan, 150mg diphenhydramine

1am (or when I wake up) - 70mg ambien, 10mg Valium

 

 

That’s a total cut of 35mg of ambien, but he added 10mg of Valium.

 

The doc also said the end goal was to convert everything to Valium and go down from there eventually.

 

chronic anxiety is cornerstone of this deal

[[He...]]

I know everyone will think they’ve got it the worst.

 

But my anxiety is like waves of terror hitting me so I can’t stop thinking can’t stop my heart from pounding HARD. Can’t talk can’t move, can’t get up from the couch. Can’t stop gritting my teeth till they hurt. Feeling like death will take me any moment.

[[Lo...]]

Ambien is a sleep aid...why do you taking it In the morning and throughout the day? Never heard of Taking Ambien this way.

[[Pa...]]

I'm glad the Dr gave up on the Lorazepam, looks like he's set on the Valium crossover and is giving you the equivalent of at least one dose in Valium.  And since you haven't been taking the Lorazepam for a few days, it might actually help.  I'm glad to see this happen, your dose of Ambien is so high this is how it needs to go.  I hope too that he will increase the Valium a little more aggressively and perhaps front load it a bit like Mary talked about, you need some relief from the inter-dose withdrawals.  If you have any pull with him at all, I'd ask for this the next time. 

 

Headspace, your symptoms sound like what I felt when I did a cold turkey from the 6-10 mgs of Klonopin a day, that would be roughly 100 mgs of Ambien.  I couldn't move or talk either, I described it here:Pamster’s Success Story 

 

This is not a preexisting condition, this is withdrawal and you're under a Dr's care and while it's the most terrifying and painful process you'll ever endure, you will survive it.  Keep reaching out, I know you can do this.  If some old lady from a million miles away could, you can too.

[[He...]]

Hi Pamster, I seriously think my condition and mental state are worse off now than when I just started tapering.

 

When you say ask the doc to be more aggressive with Valium, what do you mean?

 

I’ve brought up the subject of front loading with him before and he wasn’t much for it but I’ll try again the next time I see him.

 

As always thank you for the encouragement. I know every post I make describes only pain but it is true and real on a daily basis.

 

Hi lonelysoul, I’m taking ambien this way (even in the day) because my doc is trying to taper me off it, I was using at a very high dose at the beginning, even in the day whenever I wanted to sleep. Thus he is tapering me off the drug in this way.

[[Pa...]]

When I say more aggressive, I feel the sooner you get off the Ambien the better, to me it's almost an impossible drug to taper from because of it's short half life.  In my opinion when people taper it, it loses it's therapeutic value almost immediately in the loss of sleep and face it, sleep is the only thing it's good for.  It runs through your system so fast that you're in a constant state of heightened withdrawal.  At least with Valium, it lasts longer than a couple of hours so it can smooth out your day.  Even Professor Ashton switched her patients over from z-drugs much more rapidly than she did benzo's.

 

I believe your condition and mental state are worse, you've dropped a lot of Ambien and you're experiencing full blown withdrawal, your brain is doing it's best to keep up but it can't.  I understand your pain and I know it's true and real.  I know you're hoping for relief soon, but I have to be honest, I don't see it until you get more Valium on board. 

 

I want to point some positive's I see in your writing, you're incredibly articulate and not easy angered, even though you've received some replies by members bewildered by your circumstances.  You've accepted responsibility for the actions which brought you to this point and you're grateful for the love and support of your parents.

 

I don't know you Headspace, but I value you and the place you hold in this world.  I feel you're worth saving and it's my fervent wish that you feel the same way. 

 

[[He...]]

Dear Pamster I see what you’re saying about the Valium. Remember I quit Xanax a few years ago? It was due to the conversion with Valium.

 

But it’s really strange that my body cannot react well to it now even when a direct substitution is made, the doctor even tried putting me on a higher dose of Valium than its equivalent to ambien and that didn’t work.

 

Your posts are always informative and encouraging, and it’s true that ambien does lose its value. It’s 3.25am where I’m at, I’ve done my 80mg of ambien and am still experiencing heavy palpitations. No sleep.

 

I don’t know you Pamster, but I value you and all the kind words and advice you’ve given me. Even from a million miles away.

 

I want to be saved.

[[Pa...]]

Well, you know your body and if Valium isn't the answer, then ridding yourself of the Ambien is the best option, I guess I was hoping for an easier way out, but this doesn't work like that.

 

It looks like you're 15 hours ahead of me so I wish you could get some sleep, 3:25 is a very lonely and desperate time of the day.

[[He...]]

I know Valium IS the answer. Everything you’ve said and yes the fabled Ashton manual converts everything to Valium.

 

I’m supposed to call the doc this afternoon to give him an update via telephone, I’m going to try asking him to incorporate Valium more aggressively like you suggested Pamster.

 

And yes it’s a dark and desperate time to be awake. I need help. Should I go to the ER?

[[Ma...]]

Headspace, I am so sorry this is so rough.  I talked to you in the beginning but had little knowledge of Ambien.  Horrible anxiety right now is very common, so are the heart palpitations.  However, if you are truly afraid, go to the ER, and get some peace of mind.  Don't let them change your meds in anyway and there is going to be a lot of questions on the Ambien.  I went to the ER in the beginning and left with a "you are fine."  There are so many people on here that have done the same thing.  Can you take your blood pressure?  I guess my point is, only go if you are truly scared.  Most likely it is withdrawal symptoms from your taper pace.  I know it's scary.  We are all here for you.  I totally agree with Pamster, if your Dr could get more Valium in you to cover the Ambien, that would be very helpful.

If you haven't talked to your Dr yet today, you might bring up a beta blocker which in a lot of cases can help with the heart palpitations symptoms.  Let us know how everything goes.  Mary 💜💜

[[He...]]

Hi Mary, thanks for chiming in, I didn’t end up going to the ER, just fought the anxiety for maybe 4 hours and then fell asleep.

 

My latest and most update dosage (after the telephone call with the doc):

 

 

8am - 25mg ambien

10am - 10mg Valium

12pm - 30 mg ambien

4pm - 30mg ambien, 10mg Valium

7pm - 80mg ambien, 50mg Valdoxan, 150mg diphenhydramine

1am (or when I wake up) - 70mg ambien, 10mg Valium

 

He added another 20mg Valium to the daily dose of meds but said that is equivalent to 40mg of ambien.

 

I feel like we’re taking a step backwards, is this normal?

 

[[Pa...]]

Hi Headspace,

 

I'm relieved you didn't go to the ER, I'm glad Mary popped in with some reassurance and grateful you feel asleep.  It sounds like your Dr listened to you and is adding more Valium, I agree though, your first schedule had you on an equivalent dose of Ambien and Valium of 255, and now you're sitting at 295, but this is what we want for now.  Do this for a week, get some Valium on board and hopefully next week he'll add in more Valium and take a bit more Ambien away. 

 

For now just try to trust the process, you don't need to add to your distress by wondering if your Dr is doing this right, I think he's headed in the right direction.  What do you think?

 

 

[[He...]]

Hi Pamster,

 

I’m really glad I took Mary’s advice too, it’s 4am where I’m at and sleep continues to elude me. One would think 70mg ambien and 10mg Valium should get the job done yeah?

 

With regards to the total dosage and going upwards, I am really not sure about how it will play out withdrawal wise but I see the sense in adding Valium. Now it’s just a waiting game to see if this new schedule works. The doc will definitely make some cuts next week to the ambien and like you said, will probably aim to add more Valium.

 

You’re right though, just trust the process, I’m sure he knows what he’s doing.

[[Pa...]]

Uh oh, I see you're online, does this mean you didn't go to sleep?  I wrote another post about sleep and learning to live with the lack of it but I was uncomfortable with what I wrote, sorry about that.

 

How did you find your Dr, is he an addiction specialist?

[[Ma...]]

Headspace, I am glad you made it through with no ER,  :yippee:  I know it was scary.  I bet everyone on here has gone at least once because something just was making us so anxious, but 90% oh us left with a "your fine" and a bill.  .  But sometimes it's worth it, just to hear those words.

I think your Dr is really trying and that's a gift.  Plus, you found bb, that's a gift.  So , it may not feel like it most of the time, but you have a couple good things happening  .  Hope tonight is easier

HS and you get more sleep.    :sleepy:

Mary 💜

[[He...]]

Hi Pamster and Mary, I managed to set some sleep after about 2 hours so it kind of worked out.

 

I read your post before you edited it Pamster and it’s really nothing to feel uncomfortable about, it was just you sharing your experience with sleep. You described why I got on ambien in the first place to a T, it was control and power, I used it whenever I wanted to induce sleep, it’s a good feeling to have control. But I let it get out of hand so much so that my usage was ridiculous.

 

And to answer your question, yes my doc is an addiction specialist, where I live the community of such doctors are very small and I found him by doing some research on the internet.

 

Mary, even though I’m seeing a doctor, BB is such a source of inspiration and I’m really glad to have found it. I too hope to sleep better tonight but I foresee with the cuts of the night time dose of the ambien, sleep is not going to come easy anymore. That is the part I really dread, lying in bed with all sorts of thought racing through your mind.