Looking for Buddies - LT High dose Xanax direct taper 1/2 way there!

[[ba...]]

I am through four weeks of my taper.  I was only on 1mg of Xanax for a month. Prior to that I was on .75mg for a few years. Nonetheless, I started the taper at 1mg. I took .825 for two weeks and .75 for two weeks. Today is day one @.625.  This is the least I have been on in a while. The schedule is for two weeks and then another drop of 1/8 to .5.  We will see how it goes.

 

I have so many additional issues that it is difficult to know what is causing the various symptoms.  I deal with depression and anxiety with meditation, walking, acceptance, Dr. Weeks etc.  I realize I have said all of this before. I guess it helps me to say it again.

 

Yesterday I had blood drawn.  The Docs  are checking several dozen things.  We must keep an eye on Sjogrens, PSA, Liver enzymes, White Blood Count and so on. Autoimmune issues never take time off.  Also, I have been putting off a much needed appointment at the eye doc until I receive the second vaccine.

 

The suggestions I have received here are most appreciated.  Thank goodness I have lived a healthy lifestyle.  For decades I was a distance runner and a very active coach and mentor to hundreds of young men.  As I have said, I walk daily even when not up to it. 

 

I deal with Tinnitus with my hearing aids.  They are digital and have various channels.  For years I have listened to pleasant Zen sounds in my bad ear in an effort to retrain my brain. I, also deal with it with acceptance.  It is along for the ride.

 

My Wife does very active Yoga. Having had multiple surgeries I simply can't do it.  Walking is my exercise.

 

I realize this taper has several weeks and months remaining.  I absolutely HATE putting this poison in my body daily but know I must.  The anxiety I experience both from my chemistry and the taper are tough.  However, I let them wash over me.  During times of fear, pain, depression and anxiety lying calmly and relaxing is not for the faint of heart but it is affective.

 

This 70 year old fellow is going to meditate with my Wife and then walk.

 

I trust each of you have a good day,

 

Rcristal

 

I love your attitude. You are calm, and have settled into acceptance in a way I have not seen very often. You have so many health issues, plus the taper, and you stay so balanced and settled.

 

I encourage you to share your wisdom as you see fit. You have a very deep well, my friend, and a lot to offer the community.

 

Please keep us updated on your health and issues.

 

My thoughts are for all of us in here, but I wanted to let you know specifically that I care about your current status, and how you proceed as you continue your journey.

 

Thank you for being a part of our support group.

[[Rc...]]

Baddove,

 

  I am most appreciative of your kindness.  We can all use it these days.  I am glad I found this site and the many well meaning people in here.

 

  Today is day two @.625 and I am struggling.  As is my norm I a have meditated and walked. I, also had a virtual session with my terrific Integrative PCP this morning. 

 

Depression and migraine have joined the anxiety party in waves today and it is no fun.  As I have said previously, it may be difficult for me to tell which symptoms are from my Autoimmune issues, which are from my traditional anxiety and which are from the Xanax taper.  Either way, today is a struggle.  So,,,,,,,,, I am resting with my beloved old Cat, Merlin and " accepting" these rough symptoms and the fear.  Dr. Weeks taught me well. 

 

For a while I was doubtful that I would spend much time in this forum. The absolute last thing I wanted was to dwell on the problem. However, I now believe it will benefit me as I proceed through this period.  Lots of kind folks in here.

 

While I am hoping to taper again the first of March we will see how it goes the next two weeks. Also, I am to receive the second Covid vaccine in March 2. So the Doc and I both think it wise to, at least wait until a couple of days after that to make the cut. It will be what it will be.

 

Thanks, again for your concern. Please know it goes both ways. As am elderly fellow who has spent a lifetime as a mentor I deeply care for others.

 

I am holding all in the light,

 

Rcristal

[[Di...]]

Rcristal welcome to this site!  BB has helped me so much the kindness and concern from everyone is amazing.  I am so sorry about the depression and migraines.  Anxiety and fear are my worst symptoms.  Wishing you relief from your symptoms soon.

Dianedeedee 

[[Rc...]]

Diane Deedee,

 

  It appears that you were only on Xanax for a few months. I am so sorry it is taking you a while to taper.  I trust it will work out well for you.  You certainly appear serious about being done with this.

 

My problem is that, even at a relatively lower dose I was on and off this drug for a number of years.  I try to remain positive but, as you know, the fear can be overwhelming.  I tend to not give advice. Though well intentioned it can often not work out. However, as others on this forum know, the decades old writings of Dr Claire Weeks can be a real lifeline.  She teaches acceptance and floating through anxiety, depression and agoraphobia.  Above all she encourages the I'll to " let time pass."  I find it helpful with this taper as well.  Just a thought.

 

I wish you the best,

 

Rcristal

[[Di...]]

Thank you Rcristal I will look into Claire Weeks.  Yes I didn't take it long then was switched to Lorazepam too quickly and then started my taper too fast.  It has been rough but I want free of this so badly.  Wishing you the best also.

[[se...]]

I am with you, I want off too!  Stay strong DD..

[[Di...]]

You too Seasalt!!! 

[[Wo...]]

You are all doing so well! You’ve got this! How is everyone doing? I’m feeling so much better from Covid now! Thank goodness! That was the worst! I actually was able to clean my house yesterday and do so much more than I had been able to do. I’m glad to be getting some energy back. I’m also so glad to be able to continue my taper again! I hope you are all well and I’m sending best wishes and thought to you all. Hugs to everyone! 

[[Di...]]

Wonderwoman replied to you on the Just Finished Taper/introduction board. 

[[Rc...]]

WonderWoman,

 

  I am so pleased you are feeling better.  Slow and steady wins the race.

 

Rcristal

[[Wo...]]

WonderWoman,

 

  I am so pleased you are feeling better.  Slow and steady wins the race.

 

Rcristal

 

 

Thank you! It most definitely does. My hubby and I call me turtle for my nickname during this! Lol  Hope you are doing ok!

[[se...]]

WW,

 

I am going as slow as you are, I think for some of us it’s the only way to function and successfully get off this stuff.

 

[[ba...]]

Everyone is putting a smile on my face. I am proud of all of you for not giving up, and learning how to navigate in a way that is beneficial. Congrats to all of you.

 

I hit a wall tapering xanax last October. I finally just gave up, and started tapering the seroquel instead last month. I am down from 650 to 525.  I don't wont to completely go off of it, but reducing the dosage is something I have wanted to do.

 

My goals at this point have nothing to do with tapering, they are all behavioral.  My pdoc told me to go in that direction instead of tapering. He said xanax is never going to give you want you want, but resuming your coping tools will.

 

Be well everyone.

[[Wo...]]

WW,

 

I am going as slow as you are, I think for some of us it’s the only way to function and successfully get off this stuff.

 

 

Absolutely! As long as we are moving forward no matter how slow it’s progress! We are like a dynamic duo.....turtle and snail! Sounds like a couple of benzo warriors to me! Lol 

[[Wo...]]

Everyone is putting a smile on my face. I am proud of all of you for not giving up, and learning how to navigate in a way that is beneficial. Congrats to all of you.

 

I hit a wall tapering xanax last October. I finally just gave up, and started tapering the seroquel instead last month. I am down from 650 to 525.  I don't wont to completely go off of it, but reducing the dosage is something I have wanted to do.

 

My goals at this point have nothing to do with tapering, they are all behavioral.  My pdoc told me to go in that direction instead of tapering. He said xanax is never going to give you want you want, but resuming your coping tools will.

 

Be well everyone.

 

 

You have such a plethora of knowledge and information! You are a inspiration to us all in how resilient you are and how strong. You are always here to encourage and cheer us on. I’m not sure what some of us would do without you! So thank you for always being here for us! 

[[ba...]]

Wonder woman, stop making me cry. 

 

[[Wo...]]

Wonder woman, stop making me cry. 

 

 

Who’s making who cry now?!    That is beautiful!

[[Lo...]]

Everyone is putting a smile on my face. I am proud of all of you for not giving up, and learning how to navigate in a way that is beneficial. Congrats to all of you.

 

I hit a wall tapering xanax last October. I finally just gave up, and started tapering the seroquel instead last month. I am down from 650 to 525.  I don't wont to completely go off of it, but reducing the dosage is something I have wanted to do.

 

My goals at this point have nothing to do with tapering, they are all behavioral.  My pdoc told me to go in that direction instead of tapering. He said xanax is never going to give you want you want, but resuming your coping tools will.

 

Be well everyone.

 

 

I'm so sorry to hear this.  Are you saying that you're not going to taper Xanax at all? 

As a therapist, I know that coping skills are imperative but we also have learned that a great deal of our problems are due to tolerance and interdose withdrawl from such a short acting benzo, coupled with a extremely high dose and long term use.  My concern is that you may never feel "well" until you're finally off of Xanax.

Again, genuinely concerned.

 

Lori

 

 

[[to...]]

Everyone is putting a smile on my face. I am proud of all of you for not giving up, and learning how to navigate in a way that is beneficial. Congrats to all of you.

 

I hit a wall tapering xanax last October. I finally just gave up, and started tapering the seroquel instead last month. I am down from 650 to 525.  I don't wont to completely go off of it, but reducing the dosage is something I have wanted to do.

 

My goals at this point have nothing to do with tapering, they are all behavioral.  My pdoc told me to go in that direction instead of tapering. He said xanax is never going to give you want you want, but resuming your coping tools will.

 

Be well everyone.

 

 

I'm so sorry to hear this.  Are you saying that you're not going to taper Xanax at all? 

As a therapist, I know that coping skills are imperative but we also have learned that a great deal of our problems are due to tolerance and interdose withdrawl from such a short acting benzo, coupled with a extremely high dose and long term use.  My concern is that you may never feel "well" until you're finally off of Xanax.

Again, genuinely concerned.

 

Lori

 

I agree with Lori- I know that for me if I stopped tapering I would never feel anything but defeated and also feel like crap all the time physically and emotionally.  This last couple weeks has taken me on a journey I do not want to be on but if I stop now, I will never get off the xanax and will not be able to have any kind of normal life again.  Xanax has taken too much of my life away and I refuse to let it win.  I have to keep going and if that means struggling and feeling pain, I will have to do that because the only way for me to have a better life is to get off xanax.

 

I too am genuinely concerned. 

 

Julia

 

 

[[se...]]

I second that!  We all need to get off this stuff, there is no good in whatsoever. 

[[to...]]

I second that!  We all need to get off this stuff, there is no good in whatsoever.

 

I so agree.  This drug is so BAD and causes so many different issues and you never know what is coming with the next cut.  I know for me I am tired of having serious issues and go to the doctor or hospital - like I did on Sunday and spent multiple hours and had a bunch of test - just to be told - which in one way is good - that there is nothing physically wrong with me even though i am in tremendous pain.  It is the  xanax/cut.  I just have to ride it out and once I get better, make another cut when I feel I am able to handle it.  The lower I go, the harder it is.  I am not going to fast, it is just that with each cut, my cns/brain is readjusting and once it levels out, I feel better.  I do not keep cutting when I am hurting so bad so I know it is not that I am going too fast.  Sometimes I wait a couple months to make a cut.  It will all be ok in the end and I will heal completely and move on with my life.  It is so hard but it will worth it to get off this drug.

 

Hope you are doing well Seasalt - take care.

 

Julia

[[ba...]]

I am still tapering xanax. You can all breathe  sigh of relief. Micro tapering as I have had a very difficult time getting off of 8.5.

 

I started on the seroquel, as it's too high and I don't like it at the 650 dose, so decided to work on that as my xanax taper is at a crawl. I did go fast, to 550 in a few weeks, so dealing with some fallout sero withdraw. Hence, the xanax crawl.

 

At the lower dose of seroquel, so far, I feel very weird, it's nasty. however, I am no longer having as many xanax "blow outs," That is, when the dose makes me so much worse I can't function.

 

One of my 3 goals is to get out and keep my appointments, and doing that in the past 2 weeks really takes my mind of what I am feeling and helps.  I have one coming up in an hour, I don't feel so great, but will make it.

 

I want to drop another .5 from the sero, but I have to wait. I generally want to make cuts too soon.

 

I stacked up all my appointments this month as much as I could. I wil still have some in March. I want to get them done, then go back abd try a bit bigger xanax cut when I don't have the stress of so many doctor and other appointments.

 

Plus, weather will be better, I can finally bike and get outside, that will help a lot.

 

Thank you for your concern.

 

 

 

 

[[to...]]

I am still tapering xanax. You can all breathe  sigh of relief. Micro tapering as I have had a very difficult time getting off of 8.5.

 

I started on the seroquel, as it's too high and I don't like it at the 650 dose, so decided to work on that as my xanax taper is at a crawl. I did go fast, to 550 in a few weeks, so dealing with some fallout sero withdraw. Hence, the xanax crawl.

 

At the lower dose of seroquel, so far, I feel very weird, it's nasty. however, I am no longer having as many xanax "blow outs," That is, when the dose makes me so much worse I can't function.

 

One of my 3 goals is to get out and keep my appointments, and doing that in the past 2 weeks really takes my mind of what I am feeling and helps.  I have one coming up in an hour, I don't feel so great, but will make it.

 

I want to drop another .5 from the sero, but I have to wait. I generally want to make cuts too soon.

 

Thank you for your concern.

 

Glad to hear - I know it is hard.  I will so glad when we all can get off this drug and have a somewhat normal life.

 

Julia

[[se...]]

Baddove,

 

I think it is great that you are setting goals for yourself, that is a step in the right direction.  I'm sorry you have at add additional medications to get past the Xanax side effects.  I hope your appointment goes well, you can check that box!  Take Care..

[[ba...]]

Thanks Sea.  I really appreciate the support everyone is giving me.  The fact that several of you were concerned I wasn't tapering xanax really is an example of us being real and voicing a concern when we see something that might be dangerous are hindering progress.

 

It is advised to only taper one evil drug at a time. I was micro tapering the xanax anyway, so decided to do something about the seroquel. My anxiety and sxs are down, but I am not getting much sleep, as is to be expected.

 

I decided to set behavioral goals that need work and have nothing to do with drugs. Part of this was my PDoc telling me to work on my toolbox, that's how I will find what I need to taper. He says the drugs will never give you enough, and never give you what you want. And, to quit being so focused on it. Use your tool box.

 

From my progress log:

Current goals:

 

(2/25)

1.gym, yoga or bike every day. At about 3 times a week as of writing this.  The sleep deprivation is making this very difficult. I am just so tired.

 

2. Keep appointments. This is a huge challenge. I have been putting them off and cancelling everything for 3 years. Have booked the dentist, mammogram, physical and other things that just need doing. I just took in several pieces of my original artwork to be re-framed, by appointment (quarantine issue, only 1 client in the shop at a time.) That counts as much as medical things. 

 

3. Go out when I feel the wd is too much to desensitize myself. Have noticed I do feel better once I am out. Just starting this.

 

My journey has veered off of a conventional track for the moment, but that is where my body is going: cut the seroquel, it is nasty, and I have long suspected it's making me worse as far as withdraw. The hangovers, headaches, and stupidness are way down.

 

Not waking up sweat soaked in a panic attack. THAT WAS THE SEROQUEL- DAMN!

 

Much more functional and far less extreme withdraw, just not much sleep and a weirdness I can't describe which I know is sero wd.

 

Keep loving each other everyone. :smitten: