What Not to Say to Someone Depressed

[[az...]]

This too shall pass...

 

Right.

 

Like babies just pass out of vaginal canals?

 

So easy.

 

Pass...

 

Like when?

[[az...]]

Like kidney stones pass?

 

They pass.

[[Sh...]]

Okay I get that people say the wrong thing to depressed people all the time, perhaps because they want to say something and just don't know what to say.

 

Help us out here.  What TO say to someone who is depressed?

 

I know you are not choosing to be depressed.  Who would? (Works for me).

 

That is a really good response Rx ad I will remember it.  I'd like to hear more positive things that those of you who are depressed would like to hear.

[[Rx...]]

Okay I get that people say the wrong thing to depressed people all the time, perhaps because they want to say something and just don't know what to say.

 

Help us out here.  What TO say to someone who is depressed?

 

I know you are not choosing to be depressed.  Who would? (Works for me).

 

That is a really good response Rx ad I will remember it.  I'd like to hear more positive things that those of you who are depressed would like to hear.

 

For me, conveying that basic understanding is in and of itself the sun, moon, and the stars.  You bolding my response in quoting it really makes me feel heard.

[[Ma...]]

I am writing a book about what to say to severely sick people.

 

Would you buy it?:.)

 

I think it is really easy:

Looking on statistics depression is happening often.

In this case - react like someone is telling you

that the flu has just began.

Like: „oh no that’s the worst!“

Or „I heard this is really cruel“

Why making such an Dilemma on it?!

 

Second reaction:

Think of the flu.

Say „what would help you - can I make you a soup“

Or „do you need some help with the household“

 

We can only kill the stigma of depression

when we accept that it’s a normal thing in life

Which happens to almost any of us.

 

 

Of course depression is not a flu.

But to look on it the way I wrote about here

is telling the depressed person „hey you are still one of us! This will pass“

[[az...]]

god gives you only what you can carry

 

 

that is my favorite killer.

 

Hate this one too, screw THAT sh*t, God did not do this crime and he does not want this happening to people!

[[az...]]

I am writing a book about what to say to severely sick people.

 

Would you buy it?:.)

 

I think it is really easy:

Looking on statistics depression is happening often.

In this case - react like someone is telling you

that the flu has just began.

Like: „oh no that’s the worst!“

Or „I heard this is really cruel“

Why making such an Dilemma on it?!

 

Second reaction:

Think of the flu.

Say „what would help you - can I make you a soup“

Or „do you need some help with the household“

 

We can only kill the stigma of depression

when we accept that it’s a normal thing in life

Which happens to almost any of us.

 

 

Of course depression is not a flu.

But to look on it the way I wrote about here

is telling the depressed person „hey you are still one of us! This will pass“

 

 

Yes.

[[az...]]

Okay I get that people say the wrong thing to depressed people all the time, perhaps because they want to say something and just don't know what to say.

 

Help us out here.  What TO say to someone who is depressed?

 

Also a good question, I think sometimes nothing. Listening is an art form- for real.

[[az...]]

Okay I get that people say the wrong thing to depressed people all the time, perhaps because they want to say something and just don't know what to say.

 

Help us out here.  What TO say to someone who is depressed?

 

Funny you should ask this, since I just had a neighbor express to me with much distress how depressed they are/have been. I was leaving as they were just returning home so I had to keep the conversation brief.

 

I immediately said “I understand”. I realized soon after saying that that I really didn’t understand her depression….how can I? I sure hope that didn’t compound her distress.

 

I suppose it is better to say something brief and that doesn’t sound accusatory than to NOT say anything at all.

 

I plan on bringing up the subject next time we talk. She really sounded like she was reaching out for help. People are certainly dealing with more complex issues than even just a few years ago.

 

I've told depressed people I understand.  I don't mean it in that I understand their depression as if I feel theirs, but I do understand what depression is like because I suffer from it.  These are people who already know I suffer because I've made a point of letting them know, however.

 

I believe this is alright and it can be a good response— depending on exact context.

[[Rx...]]

Hate this one too, screw THAT sh*t, God did not do this crime and he does not want this happening to people!

 

Exactly. 

[[Rx...]]

Also a good question, I think sometimes nothing. Listening is an art form- for real.

 

P.S.  azalea, you are truly precious.  Yes, indeed, listening is an art form - for real.  Incredibly difficult for some to master on any level too.

[[az...]]

I think you are such a renegade, RxDamaged. You are art.

[[Rx...]]

I think you are such a renegade, RxDamaged. You are art.

 

Thank you, azalea.

[[az...]]

“I know just what you mean”

 

 

Not possible, almost impossible. Not impossible but yeah... definitely, it’s impossible.

 

This is me^ I often say whatever when I’m upset— because this is a really unfair statement for me to post on this thread. Cruel. Also because Lorazepamfree2015 does try to understand myself and others almost all day long... every day.

[[az...]]

Okay I get that people say the wrong thing to depressed people all the time, perhaps because they want to say something and just don't know what to say.

 

Help us out here.  What TO say to someone who is depressed?

 

Funny you should ask this, since I just had a neighbor express to me with much distress how depressed they are/have been. I was leaving as they were just returning home so I had to keep the conversation brief.

 

I immediately said “I understand”. I realized soon after saying that that I really didn’t understand her depression….how can I? I sure hope that didn’t compound her distress.

 

I suppose it is better to say something brief and that doesn’t sound accusatory than to NOT say anything at all.

 

I plan on bringing up the subject next time we talk. She really sounded like she was reaching out for help. People are certainly dealing with more complex issues than even just a few years ago.

 

I've told depressed people I understand.  I don't mean it in that I understand their depression as if I feel theirs, but I do understand what depression is like because I suffer from it.  These are people who already know I suffer because I've made a point of letting them know, however.

 

Same here. I tend to say "I understand" or similar things. Not that I understand the exact texture or circumstance of their depression, but it's more to sort of offer a friendly hand and tell them "you're not alone".

 

❤️

[[St...]]

"You're just going to have to get off that medicine and take your life back"

"You're getting yourself worked up."

"You need to get out more. You are letting this control you."

"I don't know what's wrong with you."

"I guess you are just more sensitive to the med than most people"

I could go on and on. I've been told all of these. 

 

[[Rx...]]

You're doing great!

 

Sorry, but pretending there's no elephant in the room does not make it go away.

[[Fa...]]

My husband told me this morning that it's all in my head.

Yeah. That helps.

Not.

He doesn't believe it's related to the Benzos I was on either.

I feel doomed.

[[Rx...]]

My husband told me this morning that it's all in my head.

Yeah. That helps.

Not.

He doesn't believe it's related to the Benzos I was on either.

I feel doomed.

 

Yes, one does feel depression all in their head vs. all in their left foot, for instance.  What a coincidence for us all, the benzos.  I think logic screams a direct correlation. 

[[St...]]

My husband told me this morning that it's all in my head.

Yeah. That helps.

Not.

He doesn't believe it's related to the Benzos I was on either.

I feel doomed.

 

Yes, one does feel depression all in their head vs. all in their left foot, for instance.  What a coincidence for us all, the benzos.  I think logic screams a direct correlation.

 

How long were you on benzos?

[[Aj...]]

‘You just need to move forward’ - from a doctor

 

As if that hadn’t occurred to me.

[Guest [Kp...]]

My husband told me this morning that it's all in my head.

 

Tell him physicists say that you are also in his head. So he should fix you ASAP. He only has to imagine harder.

 

But don't tell him physicists keep contradicting themselves every few years -- it is the only constant thing about them. Perhaps we expect too much of them.

[[Rx...]]

‘You just need to move forward’ - from a doctor

 

As if that hadn’t occurred to me.

 

Too bad depression keeps you stuck for now.  Obviously, she/he never learned that in medical school.

 

I've got another one.  You sound(ed) good!  If my voice isn't raspy with labored breathing, I'm obviously healed.  How come I don't realize that?

[[Aj...]]

Gobsmacking!

[[Ma...]]

My endocrinologist told me I would look good enough and should stop complaining about not feeling good.

 

The only good thing about them is, if people like them get into a depression (and everyone in life will have such episodes) they have a much bigger problem than we have. Not able to feel /be empathic/ reflect means to be harsh on themselves.

And I wish I had a bucket full of popcorn and a sofa to watch them then.