Under .125 Klonopin Club

[[Ul...]]

Jeff, I’m in the SE US too, on a small resort island off the coast of South Georgia. You’re doing an amazing job on your taper. I don’t know if I could’ve hung in there as long as you have. I like your attitude. I need to remember that a window may just be an hour or so away. I feel like when the waves come, I forget that windows even exist, and I just assume that I’ll feel bad forever. I was pretty down today, after making a somewhat sizable (for me) cut yesterday, but reading your post made me remember that the slog is always temporary.

 

My s/x recently have been insomnia due to a lack of being able to get my mind to a suitable place at bedtime, and more and more “dumbness” for lack of a better word, during the day. I used to have a really quick mind, but I constantly feel myself searching for words and not able to grasp pretty simple movie plots without rewinding ten times, and forget about reading, which used to be a great love of mine. Feeling “dumbed down” tends to depress me a bit, too. Also, I’ve been having such shortness of breath over the last two months that I’ve gotten two (negative) COVID tests because I’ve been sure I’ve had it.

 

Dehytq, my s/x were worst in the beginning, but ramped up to nearly unbearable twice when I had to take antibiotics for ear infections. When I cut from .125 to .0625, the worst s/x came back, but that was a pretty big and foolish cut for me to make. The best thing about cutting and holding for me, was coming out of the fog during week 3, and having 4-5 days of normalcy before jumping back in and cutting again. While doing my version of a micro-taper,  my s/x have been milder, but more constant. I think I prefer getting hit harder by s/x, but having a nice, long window to look forward to. Bob is a pro at helping people with their s/x. He told me about magnesium citrate for muscle issues, and it’s helped me a lot.

 

I hope everyone is getting good sleep tonight, and has a great tomorrow!

 

Yep, I'm right there with you when it comes to the "dumbness" feeling. I have a miserable time with movie plots too...even short commercials. I have no idea how I bs my way through my job! I'm concerned about getting even a slightly "normal" brain back at some point, but all we can do is our best, right? Do the best we can to help our bodies/minds heal, and then let the body do what it does. Just keep the hope and faith. Healing happens!!

 

Have as great a day as possible!

 

Jeff

[[...]]

Hi everyone, hope you are all feeling somewhat ok. Ugh. I wanted to know if w hff en you got to a lower dose if your sx were more intense. I did cut alot a couple months ago and gave been holding. I'm down to .333 or so MJ erhing like that. I have been stabilizing, but have a new set of sx. P.us more chemical anxiety and muscle cramps and sensitivites like crazy. Sorry for talking about sx. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Dehytq2,

I think "old reductions" can accumulate and hit you all at once.  It will pass.  You might try holding for a while.  If it is anxiety induced, you might ask your doctor about a low dose of Buspar.  Buspar helped me to end muscle pains.  My doctor said it like this.  Due to anxiety, you muscles are always tight.  After a while, they get tired and you feel the pain.  So the Buspar helped reduce my anxiety and gave my muscles a break.  I was able to stop the buspar with no problem after a couple of weeks.

[[Lo...]]

I’ve had such a nice string of days. I’m sure it’s due to it being three weeks since I took my last antibiotic, and to the fact that I’m on the 6th day since my .00625 cut. I’m only going to do .003 cuts from here on out, until I reach the point where my scale is no longer reliable.

 

I don’t think I can rely on my scale to measure anything less than .05 grams, which will be .0147 mg of Klonopin. I have the hardware to switch over to a liquid taper now, or at some point in the future, but I’ve also read somewhere that it may be foolish to switch to liquid this close to the end. I could also just weigh out .05g, and then eyeball 1/2 of that, which would put me at around .007, then drop down to a few granules a day, then hop off when ready.

 

I’m surprised that I’m more excited than nervous about zero Klonopin being so near. I’m ready to stop ingesting this poison and begin healing.

[[...]]

I am happy for your progress.  I would write more but I have a touch of depression - I think it is lifting - I took P5P

[[Lo...]]

I’m sorry that you’re experiencing depression, Bob. As you know, it’s temporary, and brighter days are around the corner.

 

Just know that you’re a strong, caring person who means an awful lot to a lot of people around here. You’re an inspiration and a guide for so many of us, and your support has meant the world to me.

 

I hope that the P5P works, and you have a great night.

[[Ca...]]

Hi all ..I'm very glad to have found this support group as I enter the home stretch of getting off Clonazepam after 17 months of use. Right now I'm at .0625 mg at bedtime, having dropped from .125 mg a few days ago (starting dose lo these many months ago was 0.5 mg twice daily). Main side effect so far is insomnia, with also some muscle tension/soreness and today a bit of uncharacteristic anger. However, there's so much going on in my brain chemically (a cocktail of antidepressants),  physically (continuing electroconvulsive therapy) and behaviorally (meditation, yoga, counseling, etc) that it's hard to know what causes what. One thing I can say for sure is that I really want to get off the benzo; I think any good it may have done me has long since faded into tolerance.

So at this point I'm just here to say hello and to learn from you all, and maybe be able someday to offer support and information based on my own experience. Best wishes to all, and may all of us get to zero with as little discomfort as possible!

 

[[Lo...]]

Welcome, Calm!

 

You’re in the right place. How long have you been tapering?

 

Insomnia seems to be one of all of our biggest hurdles. I’ve found that with patience, and some of the tricks I’ve learned on this forum, my body and brain eventually set themselves right, though.

 

It looks like you’re doing the right things already,  with meditation, yoga and counseling. I went through a rough patch where I couldn’t even meditate, but it looks like that has passed for me.

 

We’re glad to have you here, and look forward to hearing from you as you get closer to zero Klonopin!

[[...]]

I’m sorry that you’re experiencing depression, Bob. As you know, it’s temporary, and brighter days are around the corner.

 

Just know that you’re a strong, caring person who means an awful lot to a lot of people around here. You’re an inspiration and a guide for so many of us, and your support has meant the world to me.

 

I hope that the P5P works, and you have a great night.

Thank you for the encouragement.

My son and his girlfriend watched funny shows with me last night and it helped.  I didn't tell them I was depressed.  I do not want to worry them.  It is so true - when depressed, you go though life with a fake mask so people do not suspect the depression.

I jumped onto a new project today and I think the distraction will help.

[[De...]]

Thanks bob!

I've been pretty depressed myself. I'm sorry you are feeling bad too. Hope your new project helps. I got hit with some new sx and feeling sorry for myself. Feel better!

[[Ul...]]

I’ve had such a nice string of days. I’m sure it’s due to it being three weeks since I took my last antibiotic, and to the fact that I’m on the 6th day since my .00625 cut. I’m only going to do .003 cuts from here on out, until I reach the point where my scale is no longer reliable.

 

I don’t think I can rely on my scale to measure anything less than .05 grams, which will be .0147 mg of Klonopin. I have the hardware to switch over to a liquid taper now, or at some point in the future, but I’ve also read somewhere that it may be foolish to switch to liquid this close to the end. I could also just weigh out .05g, and then eyeball 1/2 of that, which would put me at around .007, then drop down to a few granules a day, then hop off when ready.

 

I’m surprised that I’m more excited than nervous about zero Klonopin being so near. I’m ready to stop ingesting this poison and begin healing.

 

[[Ca...]]

...for your kind welcome. To answer your question, I've been tapering since September 2019. It's been an on-again, off-again process, as there was a lot going on for me and for some stretches of time it seemed wise to hold steady. Now at .0625, which is 1/4 of the smallest tab available in my country (.25 mg), my plan is to get to zero as the next reduction, assuming the side effects remain tolerable.

So far so good!

[[Lo...]]

Calming, I understand about tapering being on-again, off-again. .0625 is a big cut when you're getting down this low. Very glad to hear that your side effects are tolerable.

 

Dehytq, sorry that you've been experiencing depression. I get it from time-to-time too, generally in the mornings. I seem to fixate on the thought that "I've been doing this for so long. I'm tired of it. I can't keep doing this." Et cetera. But like Ultra has said, your next window is always just around the corner. What are your new side effects?

 

Two nights ago (Sunday), I wrote on my calendar that I was finally free of the antibiotics that I took for my latest ear infection in late June through July. I finally felt good again, and noticed that it was exactly three weeks since I took my last antibiotic. I remember lying in my bed and noticing that nothing hurt and the sheets felt good. Monday, out of nowhere, my left ear started acting up again, and I went into a mini-depression, knowing that I could not take another five-week hell of Cefdinir. I decided to stop fixating on it, read some eastern philosophy books that always tend to chill me out, and today, my ear is better. It's not 100%, but I'm also confident that it is not another infection, but just some sort of midsummer allergy.

 

I'm feeling good. I'm confident. Tomorrow, I drop down to .0206 mg K. I really think I could jump off now, but I don't see the need. Maybe one day this month I will.

 

Jeff, I hope you're doing well, and I'm confident that you are.

 

Bob, I'm sending you good thoughts and love, brother.   

[[De...]]

Hi loveisallneedl

I understand, I think that is what causes the depression when you feel like your so tired and cant go on. We have no choice though we have to and we will be so strong we can overcome anything! My new sx started after a cut in Ma4ch. Then covid started. My mouth was burning and my teeth started drying up. Mostly the front teeth. It's so weird. It has gotten better. My teeth still get dry and feel like there is plastic on them. Plus, sensitivites.  My eyes burning f my face my si uses. Ugh. Then I was carrying heavy bags home from the store and I hurt my arms and neck. Now I have muscle pain everywere and I was doing g so good. Walking everyday, goi g to stores. Oh, the inner trembling and heart palps. Maybe my cuts caught up. I'm not even sure what I did or how I'm still here, lol. Sorry, I hope my sx dont trigger ppl. We are all different and I cut fast plus I got to bb in bad shape be cause of bad medical care. I hope you can get out and walk, it helps so much. I do t know why, it clears your head and helps anxiety. Do t get discouraged, we can do this. Oh,  get the ear stuff to.o. They feel blocked. The whole head just feels nasty.

[[Lo...]]

That's funny you say that about your teeth, Dehytq. I've been having a strange thing with my teeth over the past few months, too. Like you said, it feels like there's a plastic coating on them. Weird.

 

How strange is it that we're going through this while the world is going through COVID? People say "If you have extreme lethargy, shortness of breath, and aches and pains, you may have COVID." I have those symptoms when I get out of bed on a great day!

 

And I wonder how much of my depression and general malaise is due to quarantining for five long months, not being able to go out to restaurants or movie theaters, working from home, and having hardly any human contact, versus how much is due to tapering. I imagine that most of the world is going through a sort of depression, but you sometimes feel so alone going through your own private taper that you don't realize everybody else on the planet is probably freaking out a little, too.

 

On the other hand, the lockdown has come at a nearly perfect time for me, as my job is a rat race. It naturally slowed down a bit right after Thanksgiving, through the new year, started to pick back up, then I've gotten to work from home and slow way down from March until now. I don't know if I could have kept up with everything through this taper if I had to physically go into work on a daily basis, or, if that would have helped to take my mind off things during the day.

 

Tomorrow I drop down to .0176 mg, which is .06 g on my scale. The light at the end of the tunnel is growing larger and larger.

[[De...]]

Omg loveisalluneed!

 

That is wo weird you have this sx too. It's so annoying. You said it perfectly about not knowing what is covid or bwd! I wonder too. I'm thinking I'm so depressed, never in my life have j felt this out of it. I think your right,  the rest of the world has to be feeling something.  Its so true that the sx of covid is just a normal day for us, how would we even know.  Going through this an covid at the same time is unreal. Would you ever think we would ever be going through something like this. That's awesome you are close to being off this drug. Oh I can't wait to never see this evil pill again. Thate good you are working, it really is a good distraction and it's good to have some normalcy in your life.  Gnight! Hope you have window tomorrow!

[[Lo...]]

Yesterday, I cut to .0176 mg, which is .06 g crushed-up pill weight.

 

There is .7 g of salt in a McDonald’s salt packet. So, I’m taking less than one-tenth of the amount of salt in a McDonald’s salt packet worth of Klonopin. I don’t know why that’s so significant to me, but it is. When I think back to taking 3 mg a day for so many years, and what one daily dose of that would look like all crushed up, it makes me sick. I’m amazed I could function from day-to-day.

 

I’m grateful. I think there was a reason why I had to go through such a terrible July to get to this point: so close to the end, but knowing that I have to be patient, and end this the right way. I have had some new (old) s/x crop up over the past 24 hours, but I know what they are, and how to deal with them, and that they are temporary.

 

I slept like a boss last night. I woke up, walked the dog, noticed that a thunderstorm was coming, went back inside, and slept some more. I didn’t have to take any supplements, or aspirin; just climbed back into bed and went to sleep for a good, long time. My dog freaks out about thunder, so he woke me up once or twice. I petted him back to sleep, and that was that.

 

Wishing everybody windows.

[[Ul...]]

Yesterday, I cut to .0176 mg, which is .06 g crushed-up pill weight.

 

There is .7 g of salt in a McDonald’s salt packet. So, I’m taking less than one-tenth of the amount of salt in a McDonald’s salt packet worth of Klonopin. I don’t know why that’s so significant to me, but it is. When I think back to taking 3 mg a day for so many years, and what one daily dose of that would look like all crushed up, it makes me sick. I’m amazed I could function from day-to-day.

 

I’m grateful. I think there was a reason why I had to go through such a terrible July to get to this point: so close to the end, but knowing that I have to be patient, and end this the right way. I have had some new (old) s/x crop up over the past 24 hours, but I know what they are, and how to deal with them, and that they are temporary.

 

I slept like a boss last night. I woke up, walked the dog, noticed that a thunderstorm was coming, went back inside, and slept some more. I didn’t have to take any supplements, or aspirin; just climbed back into bed and went to sleep for a good, long time. My dog freaks out about thunder, so he woke me up once or twice. I petted him back to sleep, and that was that.

 

Wishing everybody windows.

 

How I miss sleep!! The world sure rotates differently (more normal) when we get some sleep. You're almost at the end. Keep your dog by your side and you'll be fine. Seriously, your finish line is clearly just ahead. It'll be a great day for you!!

 

Blessings!

[[Lo...]]

It’s 1:14 am on the east coast, and for the first time in forever, I can say that I didn’t take any Klonopin yesterday.

 

I’m not going to take any today, tomorrow, or the next day either.

[[...]]

It’s 1:14 am on the east coast, and for the first time in forever, I can say that I didn’t take any Klonopin yesterday.

 

I’m not going to take any today, tomorrow, or the next day either.

Loveisalluneed,

YOU DID IT!.

Congratulations.

Now stay strong.  Remember, reaching zero is only half the battle.  You brain is now beginning a new chapter where it finishes the healing without any benzos being pumped back into the system.

I am about 2 years benzo free and I still feel better and better each month.

Bob

 

[[Ul...]]

It’s 1:14 am on the east coast, and for the first time in forever, I can say that I didn’t take any Klonopin yesterday.

 

I’m not going to take any today, tomorrow, or the next day either.

 

Rock on, buddy!! Congrats on reaching a fantastic finish line! Do something to reward yourself 

 

Jeff

[[De...]]

Awesome! 

[[Lo...]]

Thanks, everybody! I really appreciate the support!

 

It took a little extra time to get to sleep last night, but I’m sure that’s the excitement.

 

Bob, I’ve got your post-taper blog up on my iPad for inspiration. I figure the first two weeks, are going to be tough, then the second two weeks will take me back to where I’ve been. I’m hoping not to lose sight of the fact that waves are temporary and windows are inevitable.

 

I still don’t see how you were able to drive to Canada so soon after walking off!

 

I hope everybody is feeling good and sleeping well.

[[...]]

Well I took it very slow.

Remember, if you get a wave, remind yourself it is temporary.  Accept it and wait for a better day which will come.

 

[[ki...]]

Thanks, everybody! I really appreciate the support!

 

It took a little extra time to get to sleep last night, but I’m sure that’s the excitement.

 

Bob, I’ve got your post-taper blog up on my iPad for inspiration. I figure the first two weeks, are going to be tough, then the second two weeks will take me back to where I’ve been. I’m hoping not to lose sight of the fact that waves are temporary and windows are inevitable.

 

I still don’t see how you were able to drive to Canada so soon after walking off!

 

I hope everybody is feeling good and sleeping well.

 

Congratulations on finishing your taper! I had to highlight what you said, because it is so perfect for all of us (especially for those in a wave right now like myself). Sending you love & light.  :smitten:

[[De...]]

Congrats you guys! 👍