New 6-12 month buddy group

[[az...]]

Hi buddies, thanks for starting this thread Remy. I'm at 9 months so I guess I'll join in. Don't have too much to say right now but will likely check back.

[[...]]

Hi azalea32, glad you joined in!  The more support the better, doesn't matter if you say much or not we are all here for each other...all of us truly need someone for encouragement, just to vent to, be there for..I jumped September 16th so some of us are close to when we jumped...we can and will recover!

[[az...]]

Hi azalea32, glad you joined in!  The more support the better, doesn't matter if you say much or not we are all here for each other...all of us truly need someone for encouragement, just to vent to, be there for..I jumped September 16th so some of us are close to when we jumped...we can and will recover!

 

Thanks Bbbc! Yeah, won't it be beautiful to make it a whole year!! How are you today?

[[...]]

Yes it will, each day we are healing whether we see it or not!. Today got much better as the day went on,it was a good day...SO much better..praying tomorrow will be as well!🙏🏼  How are you doing?

[[az...]]

Bbbc I read back and saw you went on a bike ride today, that is very cool. Glad you are doing pretty well today.

 

I am mostly having issues with depression, anxiety and the whole cognitive impairment thing. The anxiety and depression are not completely debilitating but they affect me and what I consider myself capable of/able to do for now substantially enough. The cog fog really kicks in when I'm trying to converse/communicate/verbalize thoughts and feelings. It's maybe a little better at times but gets really bad when I'm interrupted or around someone who talks incessantly (and I was today.) I fully trip over my words left and right when I'm around anyone like that and end up feeling like a 3 year old searching for words and vocabulary. It's a serious kick to my self-esteem and all I can do is hold out hope that it'll get better.

 

Aside from those three fairly awful w/d symptoms I really don't have any others at this point that I have noticed.

[[...]]

Azalea32, you're doing great...it will get better, we will all heal...God is good and will carry us to the finish line and a great normal life ahead...🙏🏼

[[Re...]]

Hi buddies, thanks for starting this thread Remy. I'm at 9 months so I guess I'll join in. Don't have too much to say right now but will likely check back.

 

Welcome to the group Azalea very happy you joined.

[[az...]]

Azalea32, you're doing great...it will get better, we will all heal...God is good and will carry us to the finish line and a great normal life ahead...🙏🏼

 

Amen. God is good and a normal life sounds like such a relief, I know we'll get there too.👣

[[az...]]

Thanks Remy! ❤️

[[Kl...]]

Hi guys, I'm now 8 months 1 week and things are really looking up. Gradual improvements every day and the last 2 days have been really good. Feeling more and more normal and it's such a relief. Days are going faster now for sure.

 

I'm getting smaller and smaller waves of symptoms and down to maybe an hour or less a day. Last week was the lowest yet and I'm hoping to see that trend continue over the next few weeks. I'm in a good, positive mood now and I think the horrible depression has left finally.

 

I get waves of anxiety, muscle aches and some stomach stuff, eye muscle pain, all of which are slowly subsiding. I also get looping music still quite a bit. Starting to get more and more energy and enthusiasm for life and hopefully I can start really enjoying life again soon.

 

Things took a dramatic turn for the good once I hit 7 months. I suffered immensely from 3 1/2 months to 7. It's hard to even think about it now to be honest. So much pain and misery, I wanted to give up many times.

 

Wishing you all the best and fast healing! You are all stronger than shit to go through this!

[[on...]]

glad to find this group today. I will be 12 months out on Wednesday and a few weeks ago I truly  thought I would be posting a success story  this week because I was feeling SO  good- almost healed. But NO- for the last week I have been back  in a wave so horrible it has really discouraged me- extreme muscle pains, surges, weepiness, fatigue- I am back in the trenches....it is crueler because I truly thought I was almost healed and back to  my old self. Just praying that this wave passes and the good feeling I had before this  comes back!

[[...]]

Hi ontheroadme, this wave will pass, they always do and healing is just around the corner for you!  Keep pushing, you'll be writing that success story soon!🙏🏼

[[on...]]

Thanks BBC- I needed that!!!

[[Re...]]

glad to find this group today. I will be 12 months out on Wednesday and a few weeks ago I truly  thought I would be posting a success story  this week because I was feeling SO  good- almost healed. But NO- for the last week I have been back  in a wave so horrible it has really discouraged me- extreme muscle pains, surges, weepiness, fatigue- I am back in the trenches....it is crueler because I truly thought I was almost healed and back to  my old self. Just praying that this wave passes and the good feeling I had before this  comes back!

 

I feel for you ontheroadme. I am 13 months off and the past few days I have been having horrible waves every evening. It will all pass and you feel awesome ,like you did.  Does suck though cause you get used to doing normal shit again then pow , your sucked back into the benzo hel.

[[on...]]

Thanks Remy- I am holding on to that thought!

[[te...]]

hi guys, hi azalea, hi klungo, hi ontheroadme...

 

I had a very bad weekend. I got upset about something and I couldn't sleep and I cried all day on Monday. I am more stable now, but feeling very discouraged. Any sort of stress or upset just sets me back so much. I hate it. But in life, there is just no way to avoid it. I have such a bad headache now, it really hurts  :'(

[[Kl...]]

Hi TeeGirl, sorry about your weekend. We are very sensitive to stress for sure. I do know that I had a horrible day of depression and crying right around 7 months, then a few days into month 8 I had an 11 day window and I haven't been depressed like that again. I had a few tears yesterday for a few min because I was in a little wave but within 10 mins I was in a good mood again. You may be close to being past the horrible depression, it does lift, so try and hang on a bit longer, things will get better soon 

[[te...]]

Aw thanks Klungo... I was doing so well and then this happened and completely knocked me down... I know there are people who have been doing this for a lot longer, but sometimes I just get weary and feel like I won't make it... sorry for the negativity... hope you're doing well

[[Kl...]]

No worries, it's hard not to be negative going through this. I'm doing ok thanks, little bit better every day, but im so ready to be done

[[wa...]]

Not doing well at all.  I am overwhelmed by my hip pain and navigating low dose PRN dilaudid which I hate and makes me more depressed.  I had a cortisone shot and wonder if it eventually does what the by mouth stuff does.  When I search for testimonials on these shots the comments are mixed.  I had no choice.  The shot bought me some time about deciding when I schedule surgery.  But the prospect of another surgery and recovery is really overwhelming me right now so early quitting all these other drugs. 

 

I had a couple of beers last night in an act of self sabotage I guess (skipped the pain killer, of course)  and feel like shit today.  I just hate what a Bataan march this is.  I see no end today.  Maybe I should go on the vent thread.

 

I scrape through the self-care files in my brain but I can't find anything anymore.  I have no motivation left.  I think it is dealing with all these endless physical sxs that has me thinking there is not end on the horizon.  My family life is in the pits, too.  Sorry

[[te...]]

hi wannabe, so sorry to hear you are suffering so much... wish I could do something to make it better... just know you can come on here and vent as much as you like... that's what this place is for... I totally know what you mean by losing motivation, I feel that way too... have to get ready for church now but I'll be praying for you... talk to you again soon...

[[te...]]

how's everyone doing?

 

wannabebetter, are you okay??

[[lo...]]

i'm 6 months out, and while mental s/x got better in general, the physical got worse. mostly muscle tension, pain etc.

anybody here noticed that while some mental stuff resolved, physical got worse around 6-7 months?

[[Kl...]]

This happened to me...my physical started getting bad around 4 months to 7 months then eased considerably. Mostly what I am left with now is physical pains and aches but it's gradually getting less and less. Most days now I have very little but enough to bother me still. Guess everyone is a little different.

[[Fa...]]

Hi,

I'm 5 months and 1 week out. I also have persistent physical sxs (tachycardia, muscle pain), while most of the mental sxs got better. I still experience an 'every-other-day' pattern of sxs (in which I feel almost 100% healed one day, but only 50-60% healed the next day). The windows are definitely longer now and sxs are in general bearable compared with the early days. I have learned from Baylissa that this is a common pattern, probably the most common pattern in benzos w/d. It only says that we are making good progress on the road to recovery...