The Klonopin Klub#2

[[Be...]]

Good morning to ALL and welcome to newer folks. 

 

Tapering continues for many buddies, but there is hope, no matter how crappy or harrowing the symptoms. In our own time frame, we recovery.

 

Nomo, Thanks for the testimonial photo of the guy jogging with the tire. Unbelievable. Made me laugh because I thought, does he not know the dogs are supposed to be in front of the sled?  It is admirable that you are still out there power walking. Whatever it takes. I'll venture to say that most people not in withdrawal don't skillfully practice how to be with present circumstances. And here we are, doing it every single day, under adversity, for months to years.

 

For the past few days I've been relatively pain free. Relatively is the operative word. Rarely do I feel like I have any leftover symptoms from being on Klonopin. Though, the underlying one is increased sensitivity to psychological stress, physical pain, and anxiety from fluctuating hormones. Those are biggies, but it so much easier to put them in context—versus the unpredictability during withdrawal.

 

Frankly, I find it apalling how many woman are put on benzos during hormonally volatile mid-life years. Doctors have got to wake up!

 

There is wreckage from the past few years, and I may share about it on another BB thread, maybe a success story, ironically. I've been very sad lately seeing what remains in my relationships, of my capabilities, previous plans, and dreams. Personal change has been wrought, and I am trying to understand where to go with it. I've been purging belongings once again, and feel lighter. I did volunteer work yesterday using my plant and pest science training and computer skills. I was greeted and thanked by the administrators, and appreciation feels so good! Meaningful activities and connections in the world are at the heart of things for me. Withdrawal largely took that away from me, except in the BB world.

 

I'm spending less time here like many others who have jumped. It's inevitable. I care very deeply about the friends I've met here. I won't be far away. I still feel tethered.

 

Hugs to CD, WR, Nomo, Bstrong, Gilster, free me, rain, coyote lake, TRY, Maya, My Mana, Liberty, Ryuuka, Onedayatatine, Benzogirl, Burnedout, NewGirl....((ALL))!

Keep the faith, my friends.

Bennie

[[Tr...]]

Hello KK,

 

Hope those who have been having a rough time are feeling better. 

 

I'm not sure what is going on with me, I'm all over the place mentally and physically.  Ball of confusion, not sure if better or worse.  Laying low for now.

 

I heard a song on my walk this morning. "There have been so many things that held us down, but now it looks like things are finally coming around.  We won't let nothing hold us back.  Don't you let nothing, nothing stand in your way.  Ain't No Stopping Us Now!  It's been far too long!  We are leaving the negative people behind.  No stopping us now, we are going to keep trying over and over.  Our time has finally come around.  We are moving straight ahead!  Though many obstacles may be in our we, We Are Going To Get There Someday!

 

WE SACRIFICE TODAY FOR A BETTER TOMORROW

 

TRY

[[Be...]]

Hi TRY,

You getting out there walking too? Shopping? Hope you are feeling better with left side of body symptoms. PM me if you want a tip on something that might help.

Bennie

[[Bu...]]

Quick hi to everyone and hope you are hanging in there.

 

Brain cog/fog/memory issues and anxiety/irritability kicking my behind in the mornings and now in the evenings  That's when I take my K and I think it's not doing anything at all.  Hope to jump at .06ml in about 3 weeks....

 

Welcome to all the new people and sending healing thoughts and hugs to all 

[[Tr...]]

Burned, I'm with you my friend.  I will be ok one minute, next minute all heck is breaking loose.  Heart palps and stomach upset.  The rapid cycling is pretty scary.  Feeling loopy.                  My doses don't seem to be helping either.  Maybe it's the doses we are at? 

 

TRY

[[Tr...]]

Hi TRY,

You getting out there walking too? Shopping? Hope you are feeling better with left side of body symptoms. PM me if you want a tip on something that might help.

Bennie

 

I will take you up on that.  Thanks Bennie! 

 

TRY

[[Bu...]]

Yes Try, the rapid cycling is crazy right now...loopy and wonky for sure    What dose are you at now?  I think we are rapidly nearing the finish line with this drug...hugs for you 

 

Bennie:  glad you were able to volunteer and you are doing better-you are on the rebound 

 

Nomo:  Hang in there    Liked the story about the tire guy-he's amazing

 

Welcome Rain and Oneday 

 

Glad your day started well Gilster-hope you don't get any storms there.  My parents are watching the tropics there.

 

Freeme:  hang in there and hugs to you, too

[[Tr...]]

Yes Try, the rapid cycling is crazy right now...loopy and wonky for sure    What dose are you at now?  I think we are rapidly nearing the finish line with this drug...hugs for you 

 

Bennie:  glad you were able to volunteer and you are doing better-you are on the rebound 

 

Nomo:  Hang in there    Liked the story about the tire guy-he's amazing

 

Welcome Rain and Oneday 

 

Glad your day started well Gilster-hope you don't get any storms there.  My parents are watching the tropics there.

 

Freeme:  hang in there and hugs to you, too

 

Burned, I'm at .08mg.  Not sure if we are near each other in dosage since yours is in grams. 

 

I think we are in the same boat sx wise, except I'm having waves of nausea.

TRY

[[Bu...]]

Try:  think I'm at .01mg.  So sorry you are having nausea waves-can you drink ginger tea, ginger ale or eat any kind of ginger?  That and aloe have helped me with nausea.  Edit:  Cbd oil helps with nausea, too.

[[Be...]]

Try:  think I'm at .01mg.  So sorry you are having nausea waves-can you drink ginger tea, ginger ale or eat any kind of ginger?  That and aloe have helped me with nausea.

 

Big thumbs up on the ginger. I eat Chimes Ginger Chews, not just one but several, successively when really nauseous. I end up with a big wad in my mouth. But it helps!

[[ca...]]

Crawled out of the hell hole and if I told ya you all would not believe it so I send ((((Huggs )))) and know your (ALL ) in my thoughts and prayers ~ CD

[[Tr...]]

CD, I know the feeling!!  WE got this!!  Even when it's cloudy the sun is still shining.  This shall pass

 

Big Hug,

TRY

[[...]]

Hi Try, CD, Bennie, Burned, Gilster, Free, Rain, WR, Liberty, BStrong, Ryuuku, Coyote, and ALL!!

 

I've been in the same neighborhood as CD.  Checking in to tell you all not to believe the feelings...they change.  Lots and Often! 

 

Bennie, don't flatter me with the terms like race walking or speed walking!  If my walking gets fast it is because the anxiety isn't matched by the physical exhaustion.  Lately I have been walking far but OH SO SLOW!  My heart, lungs, and muscles feel like they are all dragging huge tires.

 

Hugs to Everyone!!

 

Nomo

 

 

[[Be...]]

Nomo, if you are in the same neighborhood as CD, how about walking over your mower and cutting his grass? Seriously, is it helping to walk so far? It's good if you don't feel like the guy dragging the tire. I am exhausted thinking about the both of you!

 

[[Bu...]]

CD:  sending lots of healing thoughts and hugs your way    Hope you feel better soon!

 

Coyote:  glad you are getting glimpses of your old self!!!  It's so nice to know that underneath this mess, we really are still there and continuing to heal 

 

Nomo:  Hope you feel better soon too    Yep, now I understand the term "dragging anchor"  all too well.

 

Bennie:  ginger chews sound really good-will try to find some soon 

 

Try:  Love what you said about "even when it's cloudy, the sun is still shining"...thank-you 

 

Hope everyone gets some good sleep 

 

 

[[Tr...]]

Burned, hope you have a good night.

 

Wishing everyone sleep, and windows.

 

 

TRY

[[mi...]]

Tonight is night 7 without K, and symptom wise I feel fine. I get the occasional rapid heart beat, and can't tolerate too much caffeine. I've been having a rough time with my home life, but that's not due to benzos. I don't know if I'm just in a window, or if I was right that the little bit of K was paradoxical to me, but I'm glad I jumped when I did. I'm sleeping much better being off of it. The only thing that I'm wondering if it's benzo related is that my period is late and I have zero chance of being pregnant.

 

I hope everyone that is struggling finds a window soon. Hang in there, you can do this.

[[Tr...]]

Missb, glad things are going well for you!!!!    That's wonderful!!  Sounds like you did the right thing.  It will continue to get better. 

 

TRY

[[Be...]]

Tonight is night 7 without K, and symptom wise I feel fine. I get the occasional rapid heart beat, and can't tolerate too much caffeine. I've been having a rough time with my home life, but that's not due to benzos. I don't know if I'm just in a window, or if I was right that the little bit of K was paradoxical to me, but I'm glad I jumped when I did. I'm sleeping much better being off of it. The only thing that I'm wondering if it's benzo related is that my period is late and I have zero chance of being pregnant.

 

I hope everyone that is struggling finds a window soon. Hang in there, you can do this.

 

Miss B—Great news that you are feeling as you are 7 days off! My period was really really late last month, and other months it was early. I wouldn't hesitate to say it's a possibility that K has effected your cycle. I wish things were smoother on your home front. Perhaps with time...

 

Best,Bennie

[Guest [Gi...]]

Morning everyone,

Nomo and CD,

I'm right with you in the exhaustion dept. Sleep is getting worse. Last night I caved at 4:11 and took Tylenol PM. Slept until 7 ,but feel like a truck hit me. My bones have been cracking and hurting especially back and neck. Muscles are as tight as ever. Tonight, we are taking our 17 year old daughter out for dinner at a Disney restaurant with 15 people. I am trying to brave the courage as it will be stressful. The traffic is horrible and I feel like s***. I must push through and can't back out.  Praying to get some energy and start moving.

Warmly, Gilster

[[ca...]]

Morning everyone,

Nomo and CD,

I'm right with you in the exhaustion dept. Sleep is getting worse. Last night I caved at 4:11 and took Tylenol PM. Slept until 7 ,but feel like a truck hit me. My bones have been cracking and hurting especially back and neck. Muscles are as tight as ever. Tonight, we are taking our 17 year old daughter out for dinner at a Disney restaurant with 15 people. I am trying to brave the courage as it will be stressful. The traffic is horrible and I feel like s***. I must push through and can't back out.  Praying to get some energy and start moving.

Warmly, Gilster

Gilster, good morning and your in my thoughts of getting thru your dinner tonight . Keep the faith ~ CD

[[Tr...]]

Morning KK,  having major dp/dr, couldn't go for my morning walk.  WTW!!

 

Good Luck Glister.

 

Hey CD, hope you are feeling better.

 

 

TRY

[[Ma...]]

I just wanted to pop in and say hi. My mom is visiting right now until tomorrow. This has been a much better week for me. I am having some ear and head pressure. I assume allergies exacerbated by BZ WD. I am thinking of everyone and sending lots of love and light. I saw this quote and it reminded me of all you brave warriors

http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f340/maya6842/image_1.jpeg

 

 

XO

Maya

[[Be...]]

Morning folks. Hi Maya!

 

Lovely quote.

I AM A SEED!

 

Morning rundown: things ache.

 

Hope for everyone. No taperer will be left behind.

 

Have a good day,

Bennie

[[Co...]]

Good morning to ALL and welcome to newer folks. 

 

Tapering continues for many buddies, but there is hope, no matter how crappy or harrowing the symptoms. In our own time frame, we recovery.

 

Nomo, Thanks for the testimonial photo of the guy jogging with the tire. Unbelievable. Made me laugh because I thought, does he not know the dogs are supposed to be in front of the sled?  It is admirable that you are still out there power walking. Whatever it takes. I'll venture to say that most people not in withdrawal don't skillfully practice how to be with present circumstances. And here we are, doing it every single day, under adversity, for months to years.

 

For the past few days I've been relatively pain free. Relatively is the operative word. Rarely do I feel like I have any leftover symptoms from being on Klonopin. Though, the underlying one is increased sensitivity to psychological stress, physical pain, and anxiety from fluctuating hormones. Those are biggies, but it so much easier to put them in context—versus the unpredictability during withdrawal.

 

Frankly, I find it apalling how many woman are put on benzos during hormonally volatile mid-life years. Doctors have got to wake up!

 

There is wreckage from the past few years, and I may share about it on another BB thread, maybe a success story, ironically. I've been very sad lately seeing what remains in my relationships, of my capabilities, previous plans, and dreams. Personal change has been wrought, and I am trying to understand where to go with it. I've been purging belongings once again, and feel lighter. I did volunteer work yesterday using my plant and pest science training and computer skills. I was greeted and thanked by the administrators, and appreciation feels so good! Meaningful activities and connections in the world are at the heart of things for me. Withdrawal largely took that away from me, except in the BB world.

 

I'm spending less time here like many others who have jumped. It's inevitable. I care very deeply about the friends I've met here. I won't be far away. I still feel tethered.

 

Hugs to CD, WR, Nomo, Bstrong, Gilster, free me, rain, coyote lake, TRY, Maya, My Mana, Liberty, Ryuuka, Onedayatatine, Benzogirl, Burnedout, NewGirl....((ALL))!

Keep the faith, my friends.

Bennie

 

Bennie,

I  understand the feeling of sadness, and I think part of it for me is being on the other side of mid-life.  No one prepares us for this part of human development.  And sadly, we live in a youth worship society once we become a certain age, we are no longer of value.  As much as I know this is BS and remind myself not to buy into most of our culture's paradigms, I get seriously caught in this one. 

 

However, this is an important part of human development.  Carl Jung is probably the most well known for seeing this time of life as critical. 

 

I don't know, it all sounds good in theory, but the fact remains.  This is a time in our development when the lines of past, present, and future seem to fade and we become acutely aware that we have lived most of the years we will live on this planet.  Is there anything more sobering than that?  Now add the acute awareness of going through what we are all going through.  It's pretty hard to go through this unconsciously - we are aware of everything, which is of course a double edged sword, a blessing and a curse.  It's so hard to hold onto the kind thought that this process is happening for a reason or this is a great learning experience. 

 

I take solace in the fact that other human beings - much much smarter than I - pondered and struggled with these philosophical questions.  This is not new in the human experience.  Nor is the frantic avoidance of these questions. 

 

I'm so weary today.

 

Hold on with your hearts Warriors!  ❤️