The Klonopin Klub#2

[[Br...]]

Hey

I wanted to chime in on a post for the klonopin klub as I am tapering off of this mess as well and would love to be in touch with y’all for mutual support. Currently my withdrawal symptoms have me feeling isolated and alone and I would like to make some friends on here that I can talk to daily.

So much love and empathy for your process

-Lib

 

Like FH, I'm also curious as to your history and sxs.  You're not alone at all. 

[Guest [Li...]]

Thank you for your replies Final and Breck

 

It is kind of embarrassing how excited I got to see I had replies to my post-

I have been tapering down from .5mg. I was prescribed the klonopin in August and was taking it for panic attacks. Of course taking it 3x a week became 4,5,6x and then every day of the week. I have a dr that does not believe in Benzo withdrawal, and despite my previous history with Valium, she prescribed klonopin on an as-needed basis for severe panic attacks I was having that were rendering me functionless. It was complete amnesia for me about how horrible it was coming off Valium and I cannot believe I started with the Klonopin. By November I saw that I had become dependent and am currently staying with my parents while trying to taper. They do not understand what I am going through at all. I use a milligram scale to do small dry cuts. Currently I am suffering constant swallowing, back pain, and light sensitivity added to my anxiety and insomnia symptoms that are making life difficult. I started exercising this week in hopes that an exhausted body would lead to more sleep. So far I am just sore. The days are feeling long even though we are nearing the shortest day of the year. You guys have no idea how much your responses to my post meant to me this afternoon, thank you!

 

-Lib

[[Fi...]]

Yes, the symptoms are intense and most people do not understand. My symptoms are depression, anxiety and some lowe leg pain.  I have broken sleep but an getting some for now. 

 

I'm using a scale as well and this is my second time coming off a benzo.  First time had no ideas, this time due to a bad ending to another med taper, which caused major insomoa and shaking.

 

I have to slow down now because I got hit hard last week. 

 

Exercise is a tricky thing to balance during withdrawal.  Some people can do it but others, like me have to do a more gently form or else symtoms ramp up.  I try to walk for 25-30 mins when I dont have bad symtoms.

 

It's good you have your parents to stay with.  Withdrawal, in my opinion can be debilitating and having some sort of support is helpful. 

 

You can fill out a medication signature by going to your profile on the home page and then hitting modify forum profile. 

 

We can all support each other getting off Clonzapam. 

[[ha...]]

You're not alone!

 

My main symptoms are increased heart rate, paranoia, and reduced ability to reason through problems. I manage these by exercising and I give myself a little extra time if I have to do math of any kind. Sometimes even just writing a sentence takes me twice as long as it would normally.

 

My taper has gotten easier, I think. At the beginning I struggled a lot with grief, and went through a lot of phases of being angry at the pills. I don't think negativity gets me anywhere so I had to learn to drop it. I'm on Klonopin, so what.

 

Anyone that knows me or knows that I'm on this drug knows about my taper, but I don't rely on them for support. But for example if I have to fill out a form and list that I'm on medication I'll add a note that I'm tapering and that I'm happy about this. It's important for me to be able to express outwardly that this taper is a positive thing!

 

I'm not having such a hard time with my taper. I think going through the grief of understanding how I got on the drug is worse than the real symptoms. Hang in there!

[[Fi...]]

You're not alone!

 

My main symptoms are increased heart rate, paranoia, and reduced ability to reason through problems. I manage these by exercising and I give myself a little extra time if I have to do math of any kind. Sometimes even just writing a sentence takes me twice as long as it would normally.

 

My taper has gotten easier, I think. At the beginning I struggled a lot with grief, and went through a lot of phases of being angry at the pills. I don't think negativity gets me anywhere so I had to learn to drop it. I'm on Klonopin, so what.

 

Anyone that knows me or knows that I'm on this drug knows about my taper, but I don't rely on them for support. But for example if I have to fill out a form and list that I'm on medication I'll add a note that I'm tapering and that I'm happy about this. It's important for me to be able to express outwardly that this taper is a positive thing!

 

I'm not having such a hard time with my taper. I think going through the grief of understanding how I got on the drug is worse than the real symptoms. Hang in there!

 

 

The grief is part of my taper journey as well.  I cry every day and its mainly grief about being on the med.  Not that I don't have the other symtoms but the sadness had been bad along with how lethargic it makes me.

 

How are you titrating your dose?

[[ha...]]

Right now I'm making a vodka/water solution, 0.75mg K per 100ml liquid. I have 0.5mg pills. To make things simpler I dissolve 3 pills into a 200ml solution, doubling the recipe to avoid cutting pills.

 

My dose today (and for the next 10 days or so) is 73 percent of that concentration to make roughly 0.54mg K. I draw 73ml and that's my daily dose. When I started this phase I tapered from 0.75mg and made 10 percent cuts:

100 ml, 0.75 mg

90 ml, 0.675 mg

81 ml, 0.6075 mg

73 ml, 0.54something mg

 

I found that cut and hold works best for me, because I get a little bit of recovery and that gives me more confidence going into the next cut.

 

 

[[Ul...]]

Hey

 

I wanted to chime in on a post for the klonopin klub as I am tapering off of this mess as well and would love to be in touch with y’all for mutual support. Currently my withdrawal symptoms have me feeling isolated and alone and I would like to make some friends on here that I can talk to daily.

 

So much love and empathy for your process

 

-Lib

 

Welcome, Lib! Good group of people here. I've read the posts here but didn't chime in for months. I was a part of another group, but it faded out after a great few years. Anyway, we all feel your pain here. You're doing the right thing. Just get stable then slowly move your way down. If other people around you don't understand or respect your situation and hardship, then onwards anyway! You'll find people along the way who will back you up and support you. Three of my very best friends today are folks I met here on BB's. We talk and email weekly...such a blessing. I'm approaching my 5th year of tapering along with a total of 25 yrs on klonopin (and many others along the way). It definitely chews, but we'll all get there. Keep your head up and gravitate to the people that have your back. Probably the people here! Just remember that everything you've ever wanted is on the other side of fear. Don't worry, just take small daily steps and you'll be fine.

 

Jeff

[[Fi...]]

Hi Everyone,

 

Checking in on the Klonipin Klub to see how everyone is doing. 

 

I've had a tough wave and things have been up and down. 

 

I feel discouraged but I want to keep going.

 

Hope everyone is doing okay.

[[ha...]]

Hang in there!

 

I'm doing well. I cut 3 days ago after being forced into a 3-week hold. Amazingly I have not had any of the normal symptoms the last couple days, like cognitive problems.

 

I'm teaching myself not to panic if I have a less-than-ideal sleep night. Because those negative thoughts are probably what got me here in the first place.

[[Fi...]]

Hang in there!

 

I'm doing well. I cut 3 days ago after being forced into a 3-week hold. Amazingly I have not had any of the normal symptoms the last couple days, like cognitive problems.

 

I'm teaching myself not to panic if I have a less-than-ideal sleep night. Because those negative thoughts are probably what got me here in the first place.

 

Did you feel the 3 week hold was helpful for you? I am considering a 3 week hold myself.

[[ha...]]

No actually, I had a scheduling error that forced this. Having to do with work and travel, and I decided it was the best choice at the time to hold for that long.

 

I'm slowly accepting that I may not be done with my taper until late summer, and this is disappointing. On the other hand, there's no rush.

 

I would probably be going faster (based on how I feel) but I started off in a very dumb way. I cut from 1.25 to 0.5 in one fell swoop (this isn't in my forum signature) and stayed there for a week while I researched and realized how dangerous that was. Then I went back to 1mg as a starting point, after that week.

 

It scared the heck out of me and I decided to go conservatively.

 

[[Fi...]]

No actually, I had a scheduling error that forced this. Having to do with work and travel, and I decided it was the best choice at the time to hold for that long.

 

I'm slowly accepting that I may not be done with my taper until late summer, and this is disappointing. On the other hand, there's no rush.

 

I would probably be going faster (based on how I feel) but I started off in a very dumb way. I cut from 1.25 to 0.5 in one fell swoop (this isn't in my forum signature) and stayed there for a week while I researched and realized how dangerous that was. Then I went back to 1mg as a starting point, after that week.

 

It scared the heck out of me and I decided to go conservatively.

 

Did any symtoms improve during the hold or was it the same as it was before?  I am also moving very slowly but lately feeling every cut.  That's why I'm considering a hold.

 

I'm glad your cognitive symptoms are better now. 

I too am not panicking over lack of sleep any more.  It doesn't feel good but I know its not forever. 

[[Ul...]]

Hi Everyone,

 

Checking in on the Klonipin Klub to see how everyone is doing. 

 

I've had a tough wave and things have been up and down. 

 

I feel discouraged but I want to keep going.

 

Hope everyone is doing okay.

 

Hang tough, Final. I know it can really get tough at times. We all have to keep our finish lines in clear focus rather than the bumps along the way. Kind of like looking through the windshield down the road rather than the bugs on the windshield . It seems like "holds" are something I do each week. If I'm lucky I can do a very tiny cut every 7-10 days. My current circumstances don't allow for consistent daily micro cuts, but I'm happy to take whatever I can get. Holds are a funny thing. I've read small bits of research that say it's best not to hold for too long at all, and others that swear by it. Everything is so individual. It seems that about the only thing that's constant is change. Go figure. Anyway, keep up the good fight!

 

Take care,

 

Jeff

[[Fi...]]

Thank you Jeff. 

 

I've been trying to do a symtoms based taper and also can only do small cuts every 7-10 days.  But I think I did one cut too many last month and have really suffered. 

 

Today I woke with a lot of panic and fear, which has become a new symtom.  I have always woken with anxiety during tapering but it seems to be worse these past weeks.

 

I just want to shift out of this wave period so I can go back to Tony cuts again.

 

Thanks so much for your support. 

 

Final

 

 

[[ha...]]

I feel like my symptoms are too random to map out, at least how they line up with cuts and holds.

 

I'm "holding" because my cuts are 10 percent each. So maybe hold is the wrong word since it is the design of my taper?

 

Final, what size cuts are you making? Edit: I see your signature and those seem like reasonable steps. I have no advice really. The best I can offer is to try and stay positive.

[[Fi...]]

Thank you. 

 

I probably wasn't completely healed from my last taper, which may be why I'm struggling or it could just be the heaviness of Clonzapam on my system.  I have had windows and some some okayish days throughout. 

 

Its seems getting below. 0.5mg has caused the struggles.

[[Ch...]]

I need some advice, my therapist who is dumping me because she can't handle me during my taper who I've been going to for 5 years while my husband was sick and after he died.  She wanted me see a psychiatrist to monitor me while I taper.  I have an appointment for next Tuesday.  Is this a waste of my time he doesn't prescribe me the meds my primary does.  Will he want to even monitor me as I taper? 

[[Ul...]]

Thank you Jeff. 

 

I've been trying to do a symtoms based taper and also can only do small cuts every 7-10 days.  But I think I did one cut too many last month and have really suffered. 

 

Today I woke with a lot of panic and fear, which has become a new symtom.  I have always woken with anxiety during tapering but it seems to be worse these past weeks.

 

I just want to shift out of this wave period so I can go back to Tony cuts again.

 

Thanks so much for your support. 

 

Final

 

Oh man, waking with panic and fear...the worst! I've had that bit of misery almost since the very beginning of my taper years ago. Once in a very, very blue moon I'll wake up with a smaller amount of panic, but it's a bear of an issue. I get a huge blast of cortisol/adrenaline starting around 3:30am until after the noon hour. I think I've tried everything that I've read or heard about, but nothing seems to have helped (magnesium, adrenal cocktail, meditation, etc.). Anyway, have as positive of a Thursday that you can! We'll keep holding each other up.

 

Jeff

[[Fi...]]

Thank you Jeff. 

 

I've been trying to do a symtoms based taper and also can only do small cuts every 7-10 days.  But I think I did one cut too many last month and have really suffered. 

 

Today I woke with a lot of panic and fear, which has become a new symtom.  I have always woken with anxiety during tapering but it seems to be worse these past weeks.

 

I just want to shift out of this wave period so I can go back to Tony cuts again.

 

Thanks so much for your support. 

 

Final

 

Oh man, waking with panic and fear...the worst! I've had that bit of misery almost since the very beginning of my taper years ago. Once in a very, very blue moon I'll wake up with a smaller amount of panic, but it's a bear of an issue. I get a huge blast of cortisol/adrenaline starting around 3:30am until after the noon hour. I think I've tried everything that I've read or heard about, but nothing seems to have helped (magnesium, adrenal cocktail, meditation, etc.). Anyway, have as positive of a Thursday that you can! We'll keep holding each other up.

 

Jeff

 

Thanks Jeff.  I am okay today, without depression.  Still some anxiey and a new symtom of dizziness but I'm okay.  Will try to get out for a walk today.

 

I do drink an adrenal cocktail twice a day and I also take magnesium to help me sleep.  Though I used meditate, cant seem to do it during withdrwal.  That's okay with me right now.  Will try again after I'm off. 

 

I hope you are doing alright and have a decent Thursday as well.

 

 

[[Ma...]]

I need some advice, my therapist who is dumping me because she can't handle me during my taper who I've been going to for 5 years while my husband was sick and after he died.  She wanted me see a psychiatrist to monitor me while I taper.  I have an appointment for next Tuesday.  Is this a waste of my time he doesn't prescribe me the meds my primary does.  Will he want to even monitor me as I taper?

 

Charlie, wow, that kind of sucks.  I am so sorry you lost your husband.  So, I take it the therapist was helping you until this?  Do you believe a psychiatrist will be beneficial to you?  If yes, then definitely get one, but if you feel you won't benefit, then , imo, I wouldn't get one.  bb can really help in most situations.  So many of us have been through all these life issues plus withdrawing.  But it's really up to whether you think they will help.  Maybe go a couple times to see?  Just a thought.  Keep us posted.

Mary 💜💜

[[Fi...]]

I need some advice, my therapist who is dumping me because she can't handle me during my taper who I've been going to for 5 years while my husband was sick and after he died.  She wanted me see a psychiatrist to monitor me while I taper.  I have an appointment for next Tuesday.  Is this a waste of my time he doesn't prescribe me the meds my primary does.  Will he want to even monitor me as I taper?

 

Hi Charlie,

 

That is terrible that your therapist is dropping you like that. 

 

Are your looking for emotional support while you taper or are you looking for someone to give you practical advice while you taper?

 

My experience is that it's rare for psychiatrists to give the emotional support we need. 

 

I work with a benzo coach who provides the emotional support I need and helps me understand what I am going through.  I then have a psychiatrist who prescribes but who I dont trust for any benzo guidance. 

 

If go for the appointment with the psychiatrist, you can find out what he or she can provide.  If its not the right fit, you still have your primary to preceibe and can ask around on this site for therapy or coaching resources. 

 

 

 

[[NJ...]]

I need some advice, my therapist who is dumping me because she can't handle me during my taper who I've been going to for 5 years while my husband was sick and after he died.  She wanted me see a psychiatrist to monitor me while I taper.  I have an appointment for next Tuesday.  Is this a waste of my time he doesn't prescribe me the meds my primary does.  Will he want to even monitor me as I taper?

 

My psychiatrist prescribes and he absolutely does not want to deal with any of the emotional stuff ... when I broke down at our last appointment he looked so physically uncomfortable I think he wanted to run out of the room. I think most psychs just focus on the meds, so if that is the case I don't know how that would help you. I think it's awful your therapist is dumping you. I am so sorry. She should be able to support you ... maybe it is time to find someone else? Although I think most do not understand benzo withdrawal (if she did, she wouldn't be dumping you!).

 

I hope you find the support you need.

[[...]]

Hi all. My first post on the forums. I wanted to say that just knowing that there are so many others going through similar situations as my own is really helpful. There are sometimes I can feel so alone in this struggle. So full disclosure- I’m fighting down a panic attack while posting this on my cell phone, sitting in my car that’s parked near the ER. I don’t know if anybody else uses this “strategy” when a really bad panic attack hits but it has helped me. Simply being near emergency care takes the slightest edge off of the panic/anxiety and sometimes is just enough to help me cope. I know it’s weird, and I feel weird doing it but I’m willing to do anything that helps when the panic is bad enough.

 

So I had some questions about some techniques Ive read about here. First, who has experience with getting specific dosages prepared by a pharmacist in the US? It’s been my experience that any odd requests are often rejected off-hand by the medical world in the US, such as when I asked my primary if he would be willing to help me substitute diazepam for klonopin over time (As suggested in the Ashton manual) he smirked and said “absolutely not.” I honestly believe that the vast majority of medical professionals have no idea what they’re dealing with when it comes to benzo dependence and withdrawal.

 

Second, what are some of the methods, tricks, and techniques some of you use to help control a panic attack? I read one here that seems like it wouldn’t matter much but actually helped me. It was the advice to “let your tongue relax and come down from being stuck to the roof of your mouth.” When I read that I was struggling with a monster of a panic attack and I realized I was doing that and it caused tension in muscles of the area.

 

Anyway, so glad to have found this forum.

[[NJ...]]

Hi all. My first post on the forums. I wanted to say that just knowing that there are so many others going through similar situations as my own is really helpful. There are sometimes I can feel so alone in this struggle. So full disclosure- I’m fighting down a panic attack while posting this on my cell phone, sitting in my car that’s parked near the ER. I don’t know if anybody else uses this “strategy” when a really bad panic attack hits but it has helped me. Simply being near emergency care takes the slightest edge off of the panic/anxiety and sometimes is just enough to help me cope. I know it’s weird, and I feel weird doing it but I’m willing to do anything that helps when the panic is bad enough.

 

So I had some questions about some techniques Ive read about here. First, who has experience with getting specific dosages prepared by a pharmacist in the US? It’s been my experience that any odd requests are often rejected off-hand by the medical world in the US, such as when I asked my primary if he would be willing to help me substitute diazepam for klonopin over time (As suggested in the Ashton manual) he smirked and said “absolutely not.” I honestly believe that the vast majority of medical professionals have no idea what they’re dealing with when it comes to benzo dependence and withdrawal.

 

Second, what are some of the methods, tricks, and techniques some of you use to help control a panic attack? I read one here that seems like it wouldn’t matter much but actually helped me. It was the advice to “let your tongue relax and come down from being stuck to the roof of your mouth.” When I read that I was struggling with a monster of a panic attack and I realized I was doing that and it caused tension in muscles of the area.

 

Anyway, so glad to have found this forum.

 

Welcome, although I am sorry you have to be here.

 

I don't have any advice for you ... I fortunately don't have panic attacks. I do agree that you are likely to have issues with requests for prescribers--most doctors don't know about benzo withdrawal. I did get my doctor to write a script for a liquid compounded K but I had issues with the compound--it was like I was not taking any drug, so went back to pills.

 

Good luck to you. I am sure you will find some good advice here.

[[Fi...]]

Hi all. My first post on the forums. I wanted to say that just knowing that there are so many others going through similar situations as my own is really helpful. There are sometimes I can feel so alone in this struggle. So full disclosure- I’m fighting down a panic attack while posting this on my cell phone, sitting in my car that’s parked near the ER. I don’t know if anybody else uses this “strategy” when a really bad panic attack hits but it has helped me. Simply being near emergency care takes the slightest edge off of the panic/anxiety and sometimes is just enough to help me cope. I know it’s weird, and I feel weird doing it but I’m willing to do anything that helps when the panic is bad enough.

 

So I had some questions about some techniques Ive read about here. First, who has experience with getting specific dosages prepared by a pharmacist in the US? It’s been my experience that any odd requests are often rejected off-hand by the medical world in the US, such as when I asked my primary if he would be willing to help me substitute diazepam for klonopin over time (As suggested in the Ashton manual) he smirked and said “absolutely not.” I honestly believe that the vast majority of medical professionals have no idea what they’re dealing with when it comes to benzo dependence and withdrawal.

 

Second, what are some of the methods, tricks, and techniques some of you use to help control a panic attack? I read one here that seems like it wouldn’t matter much but actually helped me. It was the advice to “let your tongue relax and come down from being stuck to the roof of your mouth.” When I read that I was struggling with a monster of a panic attack and I realized I was doing that and it caused tension in muscles of the area.

 

Anyway, so glad to have found this forum.

 

Hi,

 

Welcome to the Klonipin Klub.  I'm sorry you have experienced panic attacks and if sitting outside the emergency room helps, then do it.  Anything that can help you through this is important.

 

There are compunding pharmacies all over the country and as NJS says, you can have your doctor write a prescription. They can make up liquiid or compunding pills.  Some people have great success with them and others don't react well.  I did not and switched back to dry cutting my pills. 

 

You can always use the search bar on the home page to look for different terms.  There is also an area on the home page called Anxiety where you may be able to find help for the panic attacks.