Permanent Benzo Damage? This Is Not Fun

[Guest [ke...]]

I Told Them No Benzo So They Gave  Me demerol IV

 

  Everything Is Negative..

 

I AM STILL SCARED I HAVE BENZO DAMAGE I HAVE CRAZY GI HEAD UROLOGIST SYMPTOMS!!!

 

Everything Is Negative..

Good to hear ..

Mikey, I think a lot of these things you're obsessing about is Withdrawal..

I can relate to a lot of it, and others too.

 

Keryn.

[[ic...]]

You must have pretty good insurance if they pay for all these tests - are you working now?

[[...]]

 

Good point good point...

 

TC

[[ca...]]

Mikey I am glad the test turned out okay! Try and relax now and accept these are w/d symptoms and they will improve with time and eventually go away. Hang in there Mikey!

[[zi...]]

Mikey,

 

I am glad that everything turned out negative.  Be really careful with any drugs that effect your mental state.  The brain is trying to level off at normal which takes a really long time.  What happened to so many of us is that our brain adjusted to normal while it was on benzos.  Now we took away the benzos and it is trying to adjust back to normal.  It's not the type of healing that we are used too:  You cut your arm or broke a bone and in a few weeks or months you will be better.  The brain is very slow at healing, but it will heal.  You will screw up the healing process by giving it artificial dopamine (Demeral) ... even if it was just for a day.  Give your brain a chance to heal and quit throwing more meds at it.  You will heal Mikey.

 

Though I have to say you have had your entire body and mind checked out and everything is negative.  You should get a clean bill of health to travel to the moon if you wanted. 

 

Keep up the good work Mikey

 

Ziggy

[[CJ...]]

I'm glad I read your story.  I feel like if you could get off benzos I can.  You seem at least if not more uptight and obsessive than I am. 

I am a checker.  I can't leave the house unless I check the stove like fourteen times, heh.

And I constantly think I'm having a stroke or going insane. 

Once in a while I get tinnitus and double-vision.

So far, I can spell but just wait, heh.

Anyway, keep going you're giving me hope sir.

 

[[zi...]]

It's great to see the benzobuddy system in action!  Great job guys!

 

Ziggy

[[mi...]]

huge problem i am getting severe migraines with acra's no gi issues with it what to do my new neurologist gave me medicine for it. i am scared to take it

[[zi...]]

What did he give you?  If it is Imatrex stay away from it.  That will serverly impair your healing.  Mikey I too get migraines, and they are horrible.

 

Where is the pain?  In the front of your head or the back near your neck?

 

Ziggy

[[mi...]]

What did he give you?  If it is Imatrex stay away from it.  That will serverly impair your healing.  Mikey I too get migraines, and they are horrible.

 

Where is the pain?  In the front of your head or the back near your neck?

 

Ziggy

 

yep its imatrex i will not touch it! its the frontal lobe part in the brain pain no vomiting on nausea and seeing weird lights

 

i am going to take advil for now

[[zi...]]

Good call.  Hey Mikey what Antidepressants are you on?  Also are you taking any other type of medication prescription or not?  I know during your taper that the DR's kept upping your dose of effexor, but I couldn't remember if you are taking anything else.  From my own experience I realized the hard way that the antidepressants made my symptoms worse after I was off of benzos.  For some reason the body becomes more sensitive to anything we take while we are healing.

 

Here is what I came to realize:

 

* Our GABA receptors became pretty much like dried up and withered, because of prolonged use of benzos. 

-Similar to dried up lawns and grass that happens during the summer

 

* The doctors try and get the GABA receptors to keep working by adding more benzos to the picture. 

-Similar to fertilizing an already dead and dried up lawn, which just kills the lawn even further

 

*We get off of benzos, however now the GABA receptors are pretty much non-existent and have to grow back. 

-Similar clearing the dead grass away and planting new grass seed

 

*We become impatient that the GABA receptors are taking too long to grow back so we attempt to throw some helper medication at the GABA receptors to help speed up the healing and growth of new GABA receptors.  Unfortunately everytime we throw a new medication into our system, we end up killing the new GABA receptors that are growing back.

-Similar to an impatient home owner who attempts to fertilize his new seedlings to get his lawn to grow faster, but the home owner ends up killing off any new grass that is growing because the seedlings are too weak to take any fertilizer.

 

*We realize that TIME, water and nutrients are the only thing that GABA receptors need to grow back properly, so we stop throwing ANY medications into the mix.

-Similar to the now patient home owner who realizes that he needs to give the new seedlings TIME, water and soil to grow back.

 

 

It is a hard concept for most of us to accept, yet is so simple.  It is painful Mikey, trust us we all know it is painful.  I still get impatient myself and want to try a new supplements, but I just keep delaying my healing.  TIME, yes TIME is the only cure for healing.  NOT more meds.  I know, I know... if someone tells me TIME one more time I am going to freak out too.  I have honestly learned to despise the word TIME, and wish I could travel into outerspace where TIME is relevant and go into the future and be healed.

 

 

 

Also - My guess is that the migraines are from the Demeral shot and the quick doses of Vicoden because your system is soo sensitive to anything.

 

Ziggy

 

[[mi...]]

Good call.  Hey Mikey what Antidepressants are you on?  Also are you taking any other type of medication prescription or not?  I know during your taper that the DR's kept upping your dose of effexor, but I couldn't remember if you are taking anything else.  From my own experience I realized the hard way that the antidepressants made my symptoms worse after I was off of benzos.  For some reason the body becomes more sensitive to anything we take while we are healing.

 

Here is what I came to realize:

 

* Our GABA receptors became pretty much like dried up and withered, because of prolonged use of benzos. 

-Similar to dried up lawns and grass that happens during the summer

 

* The doctors try and get the GABA receptors to keep working by adding more benzos to the picture. 

-Similar to fertilizing an already dead and dried up lawn, which just kills the lawn even further

 

*We get off of benzos, however now the GABA receptors are pretty much non-existent and have to grow back. 

-Similar clearing the dead grass away and planting new grass seed

 

*We become impatient that the GABA receptors are taking too long to grow back so we attempt to throw some helper medication at the GABA receptors to help speed up the healing and growth of new GABA receptors.  Unfortunately everytime we throw a new medication into our system, we end up killing the new GABA receptors that are growing back.

-Similar to an impatient home owner who attempts to fertilize his new seedlings to get his lawn to grow faster, but the home owner ends up killing off any new grass that is growing because the seedlings are too weak to take any fertilizer.

 

*We realize that TIME, water and nutrients are the only thing that GABA receptors need to grow back properly, so we stop throwing ANY medications into the mix.

-Similar to the now patient home owner who realizes that he needs to give the new seedlings TIME, water and soil to grow back.

 

 

It is a hard concept for most of us to accept, yet is so simple.  It is painful Mikey, trust us we all know it is painful.  I still get impatient myself and want to try a new supplements, but I just keep delaying my healing.  TIME, yes TIME is the only cure for healing.  NOT more meds.   I know, I know... if someone tells me TIME one more time I am going to freak out too.  I have honestly learned to despise the word TIME, and wish I could travel into outerspace where TIME is relevant and go into the future and be healed.

 

 

 

Also - My guess is that the migraines are from the Demeral shot and the quick doses of Vicoden because your system is soo sensitive to anything.

 

Ziggy

 

 

 

 

 

i am taking elavil old old medicine 10mg

[[Al...]]

Good call.  Hey Mikey what Antidepressants are you on?  Also are you taking any other type of medication prescription or not?  I know during your taper that the DR's kept upping your dose of effexor, but I couldn't remember if you are taking anything else.  From my own experience I realized the hard way that the antidepressants made my symptoms worse after I was off of benzos.  For some reason the body becomes more sensitive to anything we take while we are healing.

 

Here is what I came to realize:

 

* Our GABA receptors became pretty much like dried up and withered, because of prolonged use of benzos. 

-Similar to dried up lawns and grass that happens during the summer

 

* The doctors try and get the GABA receptors to keep working by adding more benzos to the picture. 

-Similar to fertilizing an already dead and dried up lawn, which just kills the lawn even further

 

*We get off of benzos, however now the GABA receptors are pretty much non-existent and have to grow back. 

-Similar clearing the dead grass away and planting new grass seed

 

*We become impatient that the GABA receptors are taking too long to grow back so we attempt to throw some helper medication at the GABA receptors to help speed up the healing and growth of new GABA receptors.  Unfortunately everytime we throw a new medication into our system, we end up killing the new GABA receptors that are growing back.

-Similar to an impatient home owner who attempts to fertilize his new seedlings to get his lawn to grow faster, but the home owner ends up killing off any new grass that is growing because the seedlings are too weak to take any fertilizer.

 

*We realize that TIME, water and nutrients are the only thing that GABA receptors need to grow back properly, so we stop throwing ANY medications into the mix.

-Similar to the now patient home owner who realizes that he needs to give the new seedlings TIME, water and soil to grow back.

 

It is a hard concept for most of us to accept, yet is so simple.  It is painful Mikey, trust us we all know it is painful.  I still get impatient myself and want to try a new supplements, but I just keep delaying my healing.  TIME, yes TIME is the only cure for healing.  NOT more meds.   I know, I know... if someone tells me TIME one more time I am going to freak out too.  I have honestly learned to despise the word TIME, and wish I could travel into outerspace where TIME is relevant and go into the future and be healed.

 

Also - My guess is that the migraines are from the Demeral shot and the quick doses of Vicoden because your system is soo sensitive to anything.

 

Ziggy

 

 

Awesome analogy, Ziggy. Just outstanding. Those new seedlings just can't hold up to the strong fertilizer. I shall embrace this analogy as a reference tool going forward.

 

Thanks,

 

Albie

[[Kc...]]

huge problem i am getting severe migraines with acra's no gi issues with it what to do my new neurologist gave me medicine for it. i am scared to take it

 

Hi Mikey...I also suffer from terrible migraines, I am so sorry you have to experience this on top of everything else.

Although awful for you're sake I find this interesting. The many people I have met through benzobuddies have told me so many different things about wd, but I have found that most of the people I have talked to about light sensitivity also have suffered from migraine's at one point or another. When I first started getting the light and sensory symptoms of benzo withdrawl I was worried because some of what I was experiencing reminded me of migraine aura the dreaded first signal that I will be spending the remainder of my day in severe pain.

I just wonder if being a migraine sufferer has anything to do with why some of us experience the visual distortions and light sensitivity that seem to come to so many from benzo withdrawl...hmm.

 

I hope you are doing the best you can under the circumstances, if anything this is making us all stronger, more able to cope with the extremes of life we should be able to endure almost anything once this is all over with. Hopefully life stops throwing you curvballs after this, you'd think this is enough to go through in one lifetime. It will be so nice when this hell ride which is benzo withdrawl is over which many have promised it will be...I hope there right.

 

Kc Lee

[[zi...]]

Awesome analogy, Ziggy. Just outstanding. Those new seedlings just can't hold up to the strong fertilizer. I shall embrace this analogy as a reference tool going forward.

  Thanks Abie.  Analogies are the only way I can make sense out of this bizarre experience.  I have to relate it to something I know about and can actually watch occur in real life.

 

 

i am taking elavil old old medicine 10mg

 

Mikey, I'm not a DR by any means.  But check out the side effects of Elavil:  http://www.drugs.com/sfx/elavil-side-effects.html

 

I didn't see migraines in the list of side effects, but I do see a list of other side effects that are very similar to benzo withdrawal.  From my experience the side effects from the antidepressants made the side effects of benzo withdrawal much more intense. 

 

The other question I asked myself:  Am I still depressed on this medication? 

My answer:  Heck yea I am.  But it isn't the typical depression I've experience in the past.  This one is drug induced and obviously I am depressed because this has gone on for so long and any once normal person would be depressed as well because it has gone on for so long. 

Action:  I figured out a way to get off and then taper down. 

Results:  The symptoms lightened up and were not as intense.  As a result I also became less depressed.

 

I have scene time and time again where Prof Ashton has been wrong with her theory about antidepressants.  Yes they are great while tapering.  However once the taper is done and your brain is trying to heal, the antidepressants seem to interfere.  Plus, her entire point that is displayed over and over again is that the brain needs to heal in a drug free state - So why add antidepressants?  These are both contradictory statements in my opinion.

 

Again, I'm not a doctor and I am not telling you to stay on or get off.  Just try and analyze the situation and do what you think is best while under the care of a DR.

 

Ziggy

 

[[mi...]]

Awesome analogy, Ziggy. Just outstanding. Those new seedlings just can't hold up to the strong fertilizer. I shall embrace this analogy as a reference tool going forward.

  Thanks Abie.  Analogies are the only way I can make sense out of this bizarre experience.  I have to relate it to something I know about and can actually watch occur in real life.

 

 

i am taking elavil old old medicine 10mg

 

Mikey, I'm not a DR by any means.  But check out the side effects of Elavil:  http://www.drugs.com/sfx/elavil-side-effects.html

 

I didn't see migraines in the list of side effects, but I do see a list of other side effects that are very similar to benzo withdrawal.  From my experience the side effects from the antidepressants made the side effects of benzo withdrawal much more intense. 

 

The other question I asked myself:  Am I still depressed on this medication? 

My answer:  Heck yea I am.  But it isn't the typical depression I've experience in the past.  This one is drug induced and obviously I am depressed because this has gone on for so long and any once normal person would be depressed as well because it has gone on for so long. 

Action:  I figured out a way to get off and then taper down. 

Results:  The symptoms lightened up and were not as intense.  As a result I also became less depressed.

 

I have scene time and time again where Prof Ashton has been wrong with her theory about antidepressants.  Yes they are great while tapering.  However once the taper is done and your brain is trying to heal, the antidepressants seem to interfere.  Plus, her entire point that is displayed over and over again is that the brain needs to heal in a drug free state - So why add antidepressants?  These are both contradictory statements in my opinion.

 

Again, I'm not a doctor and I am not telling you to stay on or get off.  Just try and analyze the situation and do what you think is best while under the care of a DR.

 

Ziggy

 

 

 

 

 

again this doctor is new dont know why he gave me elavil    for sleep or depression. he told me to take it at night at 7pm to sleep good its a old depression medicine i dont know why he adding a depressent it i feel drunk every single day and lost and disoriented i told i feel i got some serious problem in the brain 

[[zi...]]

Just be careful is all I am saying.  Doc's put me on the following which led me to this path

 

Age 9: Ritalin (ADD was diagnoses, although family was going through a tough time)

Age 14: Antidepressants (situational as we just moved to another state)

Age 14 - 27:  Put on almost every type of Anti Depressant.  Went on and off meds

Age 27: Anxiety caused from Anti Depressants

Age 27:Docs moved me off of Anti Depressants and put me on Xanax 3mgs

Age 29: Went through a divorce and Xanax quit working so Doc's upped dose

Age 29 - 31: Doc's attempted to try Wellbutrin, but that made me crazy so they upped dose of Xanax to 4mgs

Age 30: Added Antidepressants to Xanax.  That alone didn't work because depression was chemically induced

Age 30: Switched around Antidepressants and Docs also added 3mgs of Klonopin

Age 31: My energy level was so high that Docs put me on 60mgs of Adderall to calm me down

Age 32: Realized the issue was Xanax and got off.  Also got off Adderall during taper and switch antidepressants again 3 TIMES!

Age 32:  Got off Antidepressants and am now drug free

Age 32: Reinstated Ritalin to try and boost my receptors to a state where I could function

Age 32: Got off Ritalin and used exercise to boost my receptors.

 

The pattern: The doctors don't know what is going on so they just throw anything medication at you and continue practicing medicine

 

Conclusion:  I realized that I don't want to be a lab rat anymore for Pharma companies and Doc's and figured out that problems started with Ritalin which depressed my receptors, so they put me on an antidepressant.  The antidepressant made me anxious so they put me benzos.  Benzos appeared to work, but in reality they were doing the work that my CNS could have done on its own.  Psych meds are dangerous and I honestly can't go through another vicious circle - I just don't have it in me as I barely made it through this one.

 

Perhaps many of us had similar experiences, although mine seems a bit drastic and really pisses me off when I look back upon it.  I lost so many years of my life, that it appears I honestly died at the age of 9.  I now have to pick back up at that age and try and piece everything back together.  It is hard Mikey, though I know you can get through it.  Use your best judgment with the medication, but if you are noticing a pattern in your own life - then YOU are the only one that can stop it.

 

Ziggy

 

 

[Guest [ke...]]

Age 9: Ritalin (ADD was diagnoses, although family was going through a tough time)

Age 14: Antidepressants (situational as we just moved to another state)

Age 14 - 27:  Put on almost every type of Anti Depressant.  Went on and off meds

Age 27: Anxiety caused from Anti Depressants

Age 27:Docs moved me off of Anti Depressants and put me on Xanax 3mgs

Age 29: Went through a divorce and Xanax quit working so Doc's upped dose

Age 29 - 31: Doc's attempted to try Wellbutrin, but that made me crazy so they upped dose of Xanax to 4mgs

Age 30: Added Antidepressants to Xanax.  That alone didn't work because depression was chemically induced

Age 30: Switched around Antidepressants and Docs also added 3mgs of Klonopin

Age 31: My energy level was so high that Docs put me on 60mgs of Adderall to calm me down

Age 32: Realized the issue was Xanax and got off.  Also got off Adderall during taper and switch antidepressants again 3 TIMES!

Age 32:  Got off Antidepressants and am now drug free

Age 32: Reinstated Ritalin to try and boost my receptors to a state where I could function

Age 32: Got off Ritalin and used exercise to boost my receptors.

 

Ziggy, lol sounds like my history, but a bit different, want to compare notes..lol.

 

 

Mikey,

 

You mentioned Headaches, I have a lot of headaches sometimes, they are no fun.. I've had some that I never experienced before w/d, which tells me it is w/d. I've had silent migraines and metallic ones.. just strange ones.

 

Hang in there.

 

Keryn.

[[Da...]]

    Hey Ziggy,

    I just wanted you to know how much I appreciated your post. I hope your very proud of yourself buddy. Thats a lot of medicine and a lot of years. I admire your courage and I hope your withdrawals fade away sooner rather than later.

    Good luck everyone out there fighting the good fight. My thoughts are with you.

                                           

[[ko...]]

Grandma prolly didnt start takin medicine til she went senile from old age were still young and have been slowed down from taking medicine when we should have been getting exercise or something I dont know all the answers but I know that our bodies have an ability to heal so much greater than we can understand

[Guest [ke...]]

I dont know all the answers but I know that our bodies have an ability to heal so much greater than we can understand

 

I agree 100%, the human body is very complex, yet it does heal..

 

Keryn.

[[zi...]]

Hey Ziggy,

    I just wanted you to know how much I appreciated your post. I hope your very proud of yourself buddy. Thats a lot of medicine and a lot of years. I admire your courage and I hope your withdrawals fade away sooner rather than later.

    Good luck everyone out there fighting the good fight. My thoughts are with you.

 

Appreciate it...  I'm not proud.  Though I sure would love some answers as to why my family allowed this.  Did I really need to be medicated?  Lots of hurt and anger to say the least.

 

 

--Hey Mikey-  How are the headaches doing?  What are you doing on a daily basis to keep yourself motivated?

 

Ziggy

[[pe...]]

  "Unfortunately everytime we throw a new medication into our system, we end up killing the new GABA receptors that are growing back"

 

Quote from above...

 

 

Has this been proven?  I know others who take meds who still heal or is this just talking about adding meds that act on Gaba receptors?

 

Sorry for the confusion.

 

Thanks!!

[[zi...]]

 "Unfortunately everytime we throw a new medication into our system, we end up killing the new GABA receptors that are growing back"

 

Quote from above...

 

 

Has this been proven?   I know others who take meds who still heal or is this just talking about adding meds that act on Gaba receptors?

 

Sorry for the confusion.

 

Thanks!!

 

This is just a theory.  I am not a doctor.  Obviously any med that acts on Gaba receptors effects a person attempting to heal from benzos, although any med that stimulates the dopamine levels in an unnatural way also play a huge role.  If anyone hasn't experienced a huge surge to either eat, smoke more cigarettes, drink more caffeine, or even have more sex during benzo withdrawal then I would be very surprised.  Obviously these habits are bad, although many of us have noticed that these bad habits have become much much intense during recovery because the brain needs and wants more dopamine.  It takes a lot of strength to hold out and allow the brain to heal in a natural way, which also gives us a chance to replace those bad habits with good habits such as working out and running.  

 

It has also been my opinion that SSRI's and SNRI's through my experience and several others has hindered our recovery.  Keep in mind each of us are very different and we all have our own path towards recovery.

 

Sorry to be vague, but I'm not a doctor and nor have I done any controlled tests or studies to prove this.  It has been through my own experience through this journey and having been off and on meds most of my life I began to realize how these drugs effected me and others that are close to me.

 

 

 

Ziggy

[[mi...]]

Hey Ziggy,

   I just wanted you to know how much I appreciated your post. I hope your very proud of yourself buddy. Thats a lot of medicine and a lot of years. I admire your courage and I hope your withdrawals fade away sooner rather than later.

   Good luck everyone out there fighting the good fight. My thoughts are with you.

 

Appreciate it...  I'm not proud.  Though I sure would love some answers as to why my family allowed this.  Did I really need to be medicated?  Lots of hurt and anger to say the least.

 

 

--Hey Mikey-  How are the headaches doing?  What are you doing on a daily basis to keep yourself motivated?

 

Ziggy

 

 

 

 

 

 

the headaches are okay better its crazy i have no other symptoms that come with a headache only sensitive to lights and nausea sometimes but if feels like someone is pushing my brain! its sucks  THE THING IS IT COMES AND GOES LIKE CRAZY...