Permanent Benzo Damage? This Is Not Fun

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Hey Mikey,

 

It looks like Barry told you some of the same things we have been saying..about things getting with time..and that it is not permanent...

 

I know what you mean about people not believing what you are going through....many doctors..for whatever reason...don't acknowledge it either..and some are quick to try to give us more pills for "anxiety" or whatever other label they decide to slap on something when they really don't have an answer...I am not saying some people don't have anxiety...some do...and I am not qualified to say if you do or not..I am just saying that they use that as an excuse alot...I was put on Klonopin for sleep issues..and my doctor pulled the "you can't stop taking it..your anxiety would return" with me too....and I never took it for that reason..

 

I am getting really low in my dose Mikey..and I have had alot of the symptoms you have had....I have had a couple other ones you haven't had....and every symptom I had in the early stages of my withdrawal except one..have gone away...I picked up 1 or 2 more symptoms towards the end of my taper..but right now I am dealing with a total of 3 symptoms...and none of them are constant....I really believe tapering slowly..and healing alot on the way down helped me a ton...if I can do it..you can do it..and I started at 2mg of K, Mikey...the same spot you are at now...if I can do this...you can too...

 

TC

[[mi...]]

Yea I Will  Get Off The Gaba I Dont Even Feel The Medicine Working At All

 

Man i Don't Feel Like Doing Nothing Just Sleeping..

 

No Interest In Nothing..      Only My Dog, Mad And Bored All The Time

 

It Got To Point That I Starr at SomeThing I Hope It Gets Better I Can't Live Like This..

 

Also I Like To Be Alone, I Was Never Like That...

[[mi...]]

severe pressure in the head is this normal

 

maybe i am not always posting things I'm truly sorry  it feels someone is pushing my head or

 

squeezing

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i had the head pressure thing, too.  it didn't hurt, just squeezing pressure.  still have it a little bit but not as bad.

 

hang in there, mikey. 

 

you said you like spending time with your dog.  my dog helped me through this.  i know she could somehow tell there was something wrong with me.  she's not very affectionate for a black lab, but she sat stoically by my side through all this.  wherever i went, she followed and she slept by me always, whether it was in front of the tv, on the couch...anywhere.  she never left my side. 

 

keep up the good fight...and hang on to that loyal dog. 

 

leslie

[[zi...]]

Mikey,

 

I have it and still do, though it is getting better.  It is from excess mucous and it hurt really really bad.  The only thing that relieved it for a few hours or so was Zyrtec D and Astepro 0.15% nasal spray along with Flonase.  Though the best help was the Astepro 0.15%.

 

Ask your doc about it, and that will really help ya man.  I too wanted to sleep all the time and be alone and still do... though I was forced not too.  I hated interacting with people because I felt like a retarded 4 year old in a 32 year old body which felt like 110 years old.

 

-Your doing well!  Hang in there.  Sun helps here and there and so does the steam room and sauna cause you can sweat it all out.  It may make everything rev all up, but you will feel great later on after you get a shower.

 

Ziggy

[[mi...]]

thanks ziggy amd l123 i am having these left eye ticks as well now i am scared the medicine is not working and worried these are my last days i am terrified..

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I have read that there comes a point when you will not feel the sedating properties of the meds but they will still be working on the anxiety.

after 4 years on this pill it still knocks me out...

[[zi...]]

Mikey

 

What medication are you taking at the moment?  I'm lost.

 

Ziggy

[[mi...]]

Mikey

 

What medication are you taking at the moment?  I'm lost.

 

Ziggy

 

klonopin 1.5mg effexor xr 150mg and gaba 400mg i am so lost right now its not funny worried every mintue.

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i thought you were going to taper or stop the neurontin?

 

 

[[zi...]]

Hey Mikey,

 

I was super paranoid when I was tapering too.  I went from 4mg Xanax and 3mg Klonopin over to 120mg of Valium.  Then I tapered from 120mg of Valium in 52 days.  I went on GABA 1800mg when I was down to 15mg of Valium and then once I was off of the Valium for 2 weeks I started to get off the Gabapentin.  It took me about 2 weeks to taper off of the GABA.  I can remember when I took my last dose of Valium.  I thought that I would have a seizure and I didn't.  I also thought that once I stopped taking it, that I would feel better.  I didn't.  I was so nervous I didn't know what to do with myself.  During my taper from the GABA I went to Disneyland and was so irritated because I was so lost in this little world and everyone kept bumping into me.  I though I was going to break out and become a mass murderer, but I knew that my rage was just from the detox so I didn't freak out. lol.  I couldn't read because I couldn't see the words on the page.  I couldn't watch TV because I couldn't follow it.  I couldn't spend to much time on the computer because the glare and heat from the LCD felt like a sun lamp.  All I could do was take my doggie for a walk.  Bounce from process groups, to AA, eat, work out, and then back to AA again.  I had to go to all of these events, because if I didn't then the rehab that I was at would send me back to the detox center and charge me $500 dollars more a day for discipline.  Plus they would dock me 20 dollars for every group, activity, or AA meeting that I would miss.  And we only got 60 dollars a week for allowance money.  I was so afraid from going into detox again that I just went along with it and did my best while I felt like a larva of cells being shipped around in the drugy buggie.  I didn't have anything to share at the meetings because I couldn't relate to anyone, nor could I think straight.  It was a gut wrenching experience, though the only good thing that came out of it is that I am not a full fledged agoraphobic. 

 

What I noticed about the GABA is that it comes in 300mg or 600mg and that I was better off taking it 6 times a day than I was 3 times a day because when I went off of it for longer than 6 hours all of my symptoms would flare up.  It's up to you, but if I were you I would get off of the GABA as you are on a really low dose and wouldn't go back on it again.  It's crap, and is used a lot in detox.  I would also talk to your doc about switching your 1.5mg of klonopin over to 30mg of valium and then taper off of that.  It has a much longer half life than klonopin and eases the withdrawal.  Docs don't get it and think your making it up, but if your Dad stands by you then maybe he could talk to them for you.  I know I had a hard time even communicating to the doctors and felt retarded when I tried.  As you increase the valium you should be decreasing the klonopin.  You don't want to be on 1.5mg of klonopin and 30mg of valium at the same time.  Remember that klonopin is 20x stronger than valium is and take a bit longer to be absorbed into your system.  The GABA won't be that hard to get off of, and stay as positive as you can without feeling like the world is going to swallow you up.  What worked for me was realizing that the GABA was the medication that was contributing to the chest pains so I looked at it like poison which made it a lot easier to get off of.

 

good luck mikey and hit me up if you ever want someone to chat with or talk with as I know how lonely this all gets.

 

Ziggy

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I have read that there comes a point when you will not feel the sedating properties of the meds but they will still be working on the anxiety.

after 4 years on this pill it still knocks me out...

 

 

I have read the same thing Sundazed has come across regarding loss of effectiveness in treating insomnia quicker than the loss of effectiveness in treating anxiety...this really scared me..because I was put on 2mg of K to sleep.....I am pretty sure that pooped out within a few weeks....and there was no way I was going up in dosage..so it was time to come down, down, down...

 

Great point sundazed...

 

TC

[[mi...]]

HEY BUDDIES I AM GETTING WORRIED EATING AND LOSING WEIGHT

CUPCAKE CAN YOU PLEASE IM ME BACK I AM SCARED HOW A SEIZURE FEELS LIKE I FEELING WEIRD... EVERYDAY I AM WORRIED SOMETHING WRONG IS GOING TO HAPPEN THIS PRESSURE IN THE HEAD FEELS LIKE I AM GOING TO FAINT... OR HAVE A SEIZURE WHILE EATING

[[mi...]]

SOMETHING IS BAD I DONT FEEL THE MEDICINE

AND WHEN I TAKE IT I FEEL LIKE SLEEPING AND WHEN I SLEEP MY HEAD JERKS

[[cu...]]

did u get my pm mikey?

[[mi...]]

did u get my pm mikey?

 

YEP

[[mi...]]

I AM SO SCARED MY LEFT EYE KEEPS ON BLINKING

 

I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE THE MEDICINE IS NOT WORKING AND SCARED TO DEATH

[[mi...]]

this deep sleep is weird...

 

i am getting these weird symptoms that i can't do anything like i used to

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Dear Mikey:

 

Sorry to hear that you are having a muscle twitch in your left eye.  I swear that I get them in my nose.  It doesn't actually move but it tries.

 

ntw

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Mikey,

 

I have had that eyelid twitch from time to time....apparently it is a side effect of Klonopin..as well as a withdrawal symptom....

 

Hang in there buddie...

 

TC

[[cu...]]

I have gotten them in my nose for years! My eyelids started twitching yesterday constantly. It doesn't bother me though. I'd rather have the twitches than other sx's!!

[[mi...]]

I have gotten them in my nose for years! My eyelids started twitching yesterday constantly. It doesn't bother me though. I'd rather have the twitches than other sx's!!

 

 

but is seeing stars normal that light up when your by  the sun i went to get a test done everything is normal

eyes are normal. pressure in the head, i don't know what to do i am on .5mg

[[mi...]]

My Left Eyes Feels Like It's Going To Pop Out

When I Look At The Walls I See These Stupid Thousands Of White Shiny Dots

 

Eye Doctor Says Perfect Eyes....

 

20/20 Something Is Wrong!  As I See Severe Glassy Eyes

[[cu...]]

I was going to put in my blog some of the things I experienced last night before bedtime. It was pouring rain out and since i was feeling so human I wanted to step out and get wet lol.

 

As soon as I opened the door,  I looked at the security light pole and the light bounced around like someone flashing a light in my face. I kept seeing little green zig zags in the corner of my left eye and it's so real I tell ya I thought a firefly was having a fit.

 

If I go outside and look in the sky, I can see little tiny white snowflakes moving around real fast. I'm not sure but this might be normal pre benzo.

[[mi...]]

I was going to put in my blog some of the things I experienced last night before bedtime. It was pouring rain out and since i was feeling so human I wanted to step out and get wet lol.

 

As soon as I opened the door,  I looked at the security light pole and the light bounced around like someone flashing a light in my face. I kept seeing little green zig zags in the corner of my left eye and it's so real I tell ya I thought a firefly was having a fit.

 

If I go outside and look in the sky, I can see little tiny white snowflakes moving around real fast. I'm not sure but this might be normal pre benzo.

 

Exactly The Same Thing It Brutal For Me Very Shiny My Eyes..