Permanent Benzo Damage? This Is Not Fun

[[Me...]]

Mikey,

Sometimes my head feels just like you are describing.  It's a muscle tension headache.  I've had it since I made my last cut.  It feels tight and full when I stand up.  You will be ok

[[zi...]]

I had this big time and still do Mikey.  I thought I was having seizures so I setup a video camera to see if I was having one while I was sleeping.  Nope I wasn't, just my wild curiosity that was kind of hoping that something was happening that would explain the way I felt.  It's all part of the freaking withdrawals.  It sucks and I don't know about you but I wasn't congested though I did seem to have a lot of saliva and mucus.  It turned out that's what it is because the darn adrenal gland is so out of whack. The only thing that helped was Astepro and Flonase nasal sprays.  That helped to relieve a lot of the pressure, but not all of it.  Be well!

 

Ziggy

[[mi...]]

huge problem i am sleeping long hours and i am very fatigue

 

Sleep Deprivation i am so worried

[[...]]

Mikey,

 

I am not sure how you could have sleep deprivation while sleeping long hours?  There are many of us sleep deprived....I just went through 8 weeks..where I slept one time at night....and that was for five hours....so out of 56 nights ...I slept one night....I then caught a couple hours a sleep during the day when I could...

 

If you are sleeping well..be glad...there are many of us..who couldn't sleep for weeks..or months.....that would gladly trade you for some good sleep   Your body heals while it sleeps..so sleeping is not neccessarily a bad thing

 

TC

[[zi...]]

Mikey I am having that too, though I think I am now getting out of it.  I slept pretty well before the chronic fatigue came on too.  Though I didn't dream that I could remember.  My guess is that even if we think that we are sleeping we are not getting the quality sleep that we should be.  Plus our bodies are in over drive and it knows how to take care of itself.  It just got done running a marathon and needs some time to cool down.  Let it and take advantage of the quality sleep that you can.  I know for me I slept for about 18 hours a day for a good 6-8 weeks.  When I really needed energy I drank about 5-6 Monsters a day.  Probably not the best idea because it barely put a dent in my energy level, but it did help.  I'm now getting off all caffeine, because they were costing me like 20 bucks a day and I am not as tired as I was before.  Plus its not too good for your body to drink that crap anyways.  Give it time Mikey, you will get your energy level back.  I noticed my eyes would be glazed over and bloodshot.  They always felt like I had pink eye and were really gooey.  Fun stuff!

 

Ziggy 

[[mi...]]

I Think I Do Have Permanent Benzo Damage I Am Having Other Weird Symptoms

Like Psychosis, My Eyes Are Glazed.. Men Problems As Well.. MY BP Is 105/60 Pulse Beating Fast..

Then Slow. Severe Obsessive Thinking Severe Weird Thoughts.. Feeling Something is Crawling In My Face and My Temple... Scared That I Have a Tumor Because I Feel Those Lumps In The Head.  I am Like a Broken Record I Know.. But This Is Worse Then A Flu..

 

 

THIS WHITE TONGUE SUCKS!!!! EVERY SINGLE DAY!

[[...]]

Mikey,

 

If you believe the medicine is causing all these problems..why not talk to a professional to see if someone can help?  If indeed it is the medication..and you keep taking the medication....of course things are not going to go away...if these are indeed side effecs of the medication......

 

It wouldn't hurt to talk to a doc...to see if someone can help....sometimes you have to get a second opinion on things...if the first guy won't help you.....but if indeed all this is caused by the meds....then you will probably continue to feel what you are feeling....on the meds....the bad thing is..we can't just quit them..we have to have a good plan....and if you can get a good doc on your side...that will help quite a bit...

 

TC

[[zi...]]

Mikey what dose of Klonopin are you on now?  Are you still taking the Gabapentin?  What other meds are you on at the moment?

 

My hunch is that you are in deep withdrawal from dropping from 4MG of Xanax and now on a milligram or so...  The Gabapentin will help to some extent, though it will only prevent seizures.  You need to get off the stuff.  It's poisoning your mind and body.  Benzos quit working for me in 2009 and I started having anxiety attacks everyday for no reason.  The docs kept trying to up the dose and change around my A/D as well as put me on Adderall but none of it was helping.  The receptors in your brain and body can only take so much abuse from the benzos before they become completely depleted.  Yours sound like they need to be healed and the meds simply cannot work anymore.  I have yet to run into a doctor that recognizes this issue that benzos cause and because of this I did all the research I could on the matter and spent 5 months away from home where I could taper down and have some place to heal where I wasn't driving my family and friends nuts.  It costs a good bit of change and it accomplished it's goal and I am now off.  I haven't had a drink or touched marijuana or any other substance for that matter since I've been out.  I simply can't do it to myself no matter how much I contemplate going back on benzos.  From what I've read on other peoples reactions is that once you have had an allergic type reaction to benzos then they will never do you any good no matter how high the dose is.  In fact going back on them would be the worst thing for you because your body and mind is trying to get rid of the poison and realizes that the benzos need to go. 

 

Let us help you as much as we can.  You have to let us know where you stand with your meds... Make sure you keep your signature updated as that helps

 

Ziggy

[[cu...]]

I Think I Do Have Permanent Benzo Damage I Am Having Other Weird Symptoms

Like Psychosis, My Eyes Are Glazed.. Men Problems As Well.. MY BP Is 105/60 Pulse Beating Fast..

Then Slow. Severe Obsessive Thinking Severe Weird Thoughts.. Feeling Something is Crawling In My Face and My Temple... Scared That I Have a Tumor Because I Feel Those Lumps In The Head.  I am Like a Broken Record I Know.. But This Is Worse Then A Flu..

 

 

THIS WHITE TONGUE SUCKS!!!! EVERY SINGLE DAY!

 

Mikey,

 

These fears you have are completely irrational...no meaning. There is nothing wrong with you except withdrawal. The white tongue may be an overgrowth of yeast. Eat some low carb yogurt and it will help you with that, and help your g.i. issues too.

 

I have been feeling spiders crawling all over me the last 3 days, but I know it's not real and I don't let it bother me. Your pulse would slow down if you could stop obsessing over all these nonsensical things. Your bp is great. Mine runs lower than yours.

 

Could you please tell us what dose you are on now, and are you still doing cuts or titrating? You must not do irregular cuts, if you are then this is why you are having so many problems.

 

Keep in touch.

 

[[...]]

Mikey,

 

Cupcake is right....the key to beating these benzos is a solid plan....all the erratic up and down cutting will just send you in an endless circle of withdrawal...you will find yourself starting over again and again and again....

 

 

TC

[[zi...]]

Mikey,

 

TC and cupcake are right.  You can't keep bouncing off and on benzos... if you managed to get off them once without going into a seizure then your best bet is to stay off them no matter what you are going through in your head.  Oh yea the Men Problems go away!  Don't worry you haven't lost your best friend.. he just needed a rest while blood flow can focus on fighting the benzos.

 

Have you gotten any blood work yet Mikey?  Check out all of your levels... if I had to guess you may be low in Vitamin B and D.  You also might have a high white blood cell count which would be due to the body trying to fight off an infection (the benzo infection).

 

Only you can make up your mind on what you want.  If you want to be better it will take a lot of acceptance, time, and pain.  It isn't easy and will seem like an eternity, but it DOES get better no matter what you are thinking right now.  Do you have anyone at home that can help you monitor the medicine?  I know that when it came time for me to get off of them, I gave everything I had over to someone else to manage and bit the bullet while I underwent the exorcism to rid myself of benzos (in a matter of words).

 

Keep us updated Mikey and sleep as much as you can- your mind and body will need it.

 

Ziggy

 

[[ic...]]

. But This Is Worse Then A Flu..

 

 

YES, benzo w/d IS worse than the flu!! LOL!

 

I'm sorry to laugh, but that is one of the funniest things I heard! 

[[mi...]]

Mikey what dose of Klonopin are you on now?  Are you still taking the Gabapentin?  What other meds are you on at the moment?

 

My hunch is that you are in deep withdrawal from dropping from 4MG of Xanax and now on a milligram or so...  The Gabapentin will help to some extent, though it will only prevent seizures.  You need to get off the stuff.  It's poisoning your mind and body.  Benzos quit working for me in 2009 and I started having anxiety attacks everyday for no reason.  The docs kept trying to up the dose and change around my A/D as well as put me on Adderall but none of it was helping.  The receptors in your brain and body can only take so much abuse from the benzos before they become completely depleted.  Yours sound like they need to be healed and the meds simply cannot work anymore.  I have yet to run into a doctor that recognizes this issue that benzos cause and because of this I did all the research I could on the matter and spent 5 months away from home where I could taper down and have some place to heal where I wasn't driving my family and friends nuts.  It costs a good bit of change and it accomplished it's goal and I am now off.  I haven't had a drink or touched marijuana or any other substance for that matter since I've been out.  I simply can't do it to myself no matter how much I contemplate going back on benzos.  From what I've read on other peoples reactions is that once you have had an allergic type reaction to benzos then they will never do you any good no matter how high the dose is.  In fact going back on them would be the worst thing for you because your body and mind is trying to get rid of the poison and realizes that the benzos need to go.  

 

Let us help you as much as we can.  You have to let us know where you stand with your meds... Make sure you keep your signature updated as that helps

 

Ziggy

 

 

.5mg K & Effexor Xr 150 Only

 

The 3 Things That I Read Online Symptoms Of a Brain Tumor Was Eye Twiching I Have Got That, Pressure In The Head Everyday, And Black Dots.. Impaired Vision And No Doctor Believe Me Even A Nero Because He Told Me If I Had A Tumor My Eye Would Be Closed  And Wouldn't Opened It. You'D Be In Severe Pain... But My Memory Is So Bad

 

 

Plus at night i go to sleep and when i blink and i seeing flashing this is the worst hell ever

[[...]]

Mikey,

 

That eye twitching thing is one of the most common benzo withdrawal symptoms.....a good portion of people, including myself, get that at different parts of the taper....RevBlue and I used to joke about it all the time..it is not harmful...but pretty darn annoying....

 

You have cut down to .5mg of K really quick, my friend...I am not sure what sort of taper plan you are using..but take it from someone who cut too fast the first time and crashed and burned...you don't want to have to keep starting over......I had to restart this once...and that is enough....a smart taper plan is really the way to go...without it..it is like trying to find your way around without a map...

 

TC

[[Gm...]]

Facial muscle twitching was one annoying symptom. I had that all through my taper. I saw flashing lights at night when I closed my eyes. almost like someone was taking pictures. That was infrequent but happened atleast 3 times a week at bedtime. Head pressure, well I had headaches during my taper and all gone now.

 

It's all in my blog mikey. Been there, done that, got the T shirt to prove it. Your just walking the road many of us have walked.

 

 

 

[[De...]]

Mikey,

 

A very close friend of mine who CT off of Ativan had an MRI scan on his brain and it was 100% normal. The neurologist told him his brain is fine and he's just having withdrawals. The more you dwell on it, the longer it will take before you can calm  yourself and feel better.

 

You MUST get control of your thoughts and KNOW you will get better. I've heard of folks who CT and couldn't walk or move much at all afterwards, and are now fine.

 

Mikey, Cupcake is so right as I am one of those people.  I am soon to be 16 months off on July 6th and I am so happy that TIME healed me.  I still have some flare ups here and there but nothing like back in the early months. 

 

You will heal!

[[zi...]]

 

 

.5mg K & Effexor Xr 150 Only

 

The 3 Things That I Read Online Symptoms Of a Brain Tumor Was Eye Twiching I Have Got That, Pressure In The Head Everyday, And Black Dots.. Impaired Vision And No Doctor Believe Me Even A Nero Because He Told Me If I Had A Tumor My Eye Would Be Closed  And Wouldn't Opened It. You'D Be In Severe Pain... But My Memory Is So Bad

 

 

Plus at night i go to sleep and when i blink and i seeing flashing this is the worst hell ever

 

hey Mikey...  I didn't believe anyone either and kept searching for that unknown disease that doctors can't figure out.  If your not careful they will run every test on you that insurance will allow.  They all come back normal.  I thought I had a brain tumor too because of the bloodshot eyes, cog issues, brain pressure.. you name it I had every symptom that fit the profile.. but guess what... "Its not a tumor" that's what Arnold said anyhow!  Ha!

 

I still get the eye twitching and red eyes tho they seem to be getting better.. I would recommend you work with just one (UNO) doctor who can successfully get you off the Klonopin... Give him the link to the Ashton manual and have him read it. You need someone you can trust and who will be there for you in this state of mind.  You need to get off the crap, and I assure you that you are at a dose that will not give you a seizure if you hop off, but I know that sounds like a death sentence so you would be better off doing that over a month or more under the care of a doctor.  The sooner the better before you keep putting your mind and body through anymore unnecessary stress.  The healing can only continue once you are off of benzos.  Also you seem to be on a pretty high dose of effexor, my guess is the doc gave you that for severe depression.   Its all they know because your symptoms do actually look like real depression.  Unfortunately it is a medically induced depression cause from benzo withdrawal.  I wouldn't mess with the dose or meds for depression anymore for a good year or so.  Keep on keeping on..

 

Ziggy

 

[[cu...]]

I had eye twitching even as a child. Mikey, do yourself a favor and stop looking up symptoms of diseases on the net.  When I was a kid, someone gave me a medical textbook of diseases and I had convinced myself I was dying because I had signs of almost every disease mentioned  except testicular cancer 

 

 

[[mi...]]

Hey buddies my head feels like its floating more symptoms and not one person in normal live believe me...

 

[[mi...]]

flashing pen-point of lights up and down and side by side....

 

those assholes in the hospital screwed with my brain now i am going down to 3.75 tonight the Klonopin

[[...]]

Mikey,

 

Alot of your buddies here want to help you..but can you tell us how much Klonopin you are taking your signature line says .5mg..but you just mentioned 3.75mg?  I am confused.

 

TC

[[mi...]]

SORRY TC MY MEMORY IS SO BAD .375MG

THE HOSPITAL DID 2MG IN 7 DAYS I WAS TAKING MEDICINE 4 TIMES A DAY 5.21.10

NOW I AM ON .375 AND I DONT FEEL THE MEDICINE BECAUSE THOSE MORONS. I WAS DOING GOOD WITH THE  1MG TITRATION BEGINNING OF MAY.. THEN I WENT TO THE STUPID DOCTOR SHE GAVE ME SEROQUEL ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE.. 7 DAYS I TOOK 100MG AND MY LIFE IS NOW NOT THE SAME I FEEL WEIRD LUMPS IN MY HEAD  PRESSURE IN MY HEAD. 8 YEARS TODAY I BEEN ON BENZO'S AND I AM SO F*KIN LOST. THE NUT HOUSE AND THAT WOMAN DOCTOR SCREWED ME UP... I DONT KNOW WHAT ELSE IS GOING TO HAPPEN EVERY DAY IS THE SAME THING. I AM SO  SO SORRY TC THAT I AM A BROKEN RECORD BUT I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE I AM GOING STILL FIGHT IT.I HOPE I DONT HAVE THE GLASSY EYES ALL MY LIFE OR LIGHT SENISTIVE

OR BLOATED STOMACH I CRY AND CRY EVERY SINGLE DAY WHY CANT I LIVE LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES AND I WANT TO HAVE A LIFE AGAIN AND 2ND CHANCE

[[...]]

Hey Mikey,

 

.375....cool you have come a long way man...

 

I know what you mean about the doctors Mikey...my doctor refused to acknowledge that these pills could do this sort of damage....I am just a couple days off and I have a couple symptoms left..and it may be weeks or months before I am better man..but at least I don't have to take that crap any more....you will get there too and you are doing it the smart way by tapering...I know it sucks..I have been there too....at this time last year Mikey..I was so lost...and on 2mg....and I had no idea how to get off K...look at the difference a year made for me....I am not 100 percent...but I feel so good to be off these crazy drugs...a year from now I hope to be even better..and I hope this is a memory...I hope to have my life back too....I know exactly how you feel.....

 

There is no reason to think you won't get it back..it make take some time after you are done with the meds..but think of how good life is going to be again when this is over...all the little things that we thought were important..they will never bug us again...after we beat this..we can beat anything..

 

 

 

TC

[[mi...]]

Will The Severe Lost And Severe Confusion Ever Go Anway..

MAN When I Wake Up Its The Worst I Feel Like Something Is Crawling In My Face... I Get That Weird Head Movement.. 3 Times And It Stop I Thought that was a seizure..  And Muscle Fits are Crazy as hell Severe Obsessive thinking will never stop i want to wake up like a normal body one more time i miss the old days :'( :'(

[[Gm...]]

Will The Severe Lost And Severe Confusion Ever Go Anway..

 

Cogfog

 

Some errrrrr most say it goes away around 3 months benzo free. No promises though