18 - 30 Month Plus Group

[[au...]]

Hi! Can I join this group? Now, it's month 36, and I feel so bad. There is another group for me, but it's so quiet. Is it ok?   

 

Anna

 

Hi Anna,

 

Welcome...I don't think anyone minds.

 

Your signature indicates you've been through a really tough journey. I admire your strength!

[[tr...]]

Thank you Aurora!

 

These last three years, have been terrible. I was bedridden for 28 months, but now I'm stuck on the couch. I can't do anything.

I will read, what you have written, so I know what you are discussing.

 

I live in Sweden, so English is not my native language. I apologize if it sometimes gets crazy.

 

Yet another thank you!

 

Anna

[[Ho...]]

Thank you Aurora!

 

These last three years, have been terrible. I was bedridden for 28 months, but now I'm stuck on the couch. I can't do anything.

I will read, what you have written, so I know what you are discussing.

 

I live in Sweden, so English is not my native language. I apologize if it sometimes gets crazy.

 

Anna

 

Anna, feel sorry for you! Are you able to do more than lying on the couch each day? I am from Holland so English is also not my native language. As long as we understand each other!  Beautifull country Sweden and beautifull womans . I guess you are blond like everybody in Sweden haha. The last days I am a bit more functional, hope this is a good sign. Especiallly after a hell of a wave which lasted approx 6 weeks.

 

But I am never too enthusiastic, the devil can always come back. We will see. I have an appointment with my gp today which is a bit strange, because he is the man who puts me on valium. We will see!

 

Hang on!

 

[[tr...]]

Hope: When I was young, I was a model. But with WD, I'm a completely different person. You know Homer Simpson, when he's screaming? I do this, when I see myself in the mirror. What is this? 

 

It's hard, to take care of my home, and live a normal life. This is just not true, how can it get so bad?

 

Do you also think, that what was previously normal, now is very difficult? Almost impossible…

 

Anna

 

 

[[Ho...]]

I am 32 but sometimes look like an old man if I look in the mirror. The body is under so much stress, that it has an impact on our face. Hopefully it turns back to normal. But the Simpsons are funny to watch! I believe it gets worse before it gets better. Nobody knows the exact timeline.

 

Yes everything which was a peace of cake before is now a big struggle. I posted recently that my life is on stand by and that’s the current situation. I am searching for work right now, because being at home makes everything 10x worse. All the best, hugs for you!

[[tr...]]

What are your worst symptoms?

 

My biggest problem is that I'm so weak. My home was so nice, but right now a big mess. Then I feel stressed, I don't like it. Is it the same for you?

 

[[Ho...]]

A big cocktail mix of everything. So what I write today is not there tonmorow.

Today sharp nerve pain in my neck and extreme nasseous together with heart palps. I try to live the best I can, but mostly home bound. I moved my stuff today, tough but better busy than focussing on the symptoms 24/7. How do you feel today? What are you doing through the day?

 

[[tr...]]

I am a combination of stressed and bored. It's a weird feeling. And the clock goes so slowly. Has it stopped? My life consists of TV and Internet. I try to read and meditate, but get easy anxiety. I try to accept, and get the day to go. But this is not fun.

 

Do you have any suggestions for activities?

 

 

[[Es...]]

I am a combination of stressed and bored. It's a weird feeling. And the clock goes so slowly. Has it stopped? My life consists of TV and Internet. I try to read and meditate, but get easy anxiety. I try to accept, and get the day to go. But this is not fun.

 

Do you have any suggestions for activities?

 

Decluttering. I gave up the TV many years ago, but got addicted to the internet. One tends to swap one addiction for another. It's all about escaping the reality. Time flies so quickly for me. I don't feel bored, rather constantly dissatisfied with myself. For wasting the time that I'll never get back. My level of stress has been so high recently, that I have simply become numb. There are many addictive behaviors one can use to numb the feelings. Not only mind-altering substances.

[[Ho...]]

Actually, I try to go outside every day. But sometimes to weak to go and yes just like you my life consist of watching tv or searching on the internet. Playing some games on my mobile. It’s very boring! 

 

So stick to meditation, walking and enjoying the few good moments. I found out that cooking helps a bit as well. This weekend I went out with my daughter to the city which was nice and actually felt “OK” for couple of hours. With Ok I mean low intensity of symptoms. But today back to crap. Like always 

 

Oh and I am going to apply for jobs, because sitting at home makes everything 10x worse.

[[tr...]]

Hi Estee, my friend from "my home is a big mess". Today, I'll try to clean, maybe……. How are you?

 

Hug!

[[Es...]]

Hi Estee, my friend from "my home is a big mess". Today, I'll try to clean, maybe……. How are you?

 

Hug!

 

Not well... Came back after 4 mos without BB. If you have Netflix, there's a Marie Kondō series on decluttering. Remember KonMari? Subscribed to Netflix cause of it. Haven't yet watched a single episode. But I stopped watching TV like many years ago. It's difficult to get back into the habit.

 

Some people find this show really inspirational.

 

Here's a KonMari page for you. She has gotten so famous that she had to move to the US with her kids and her husband. People have gotten as obsessed with decluttering as they are obsessed with buying goods. However, I'm afraid nothing's gonna change the Western material culture.

 

Tidy your space, transform your life

 

Planning to do some decluttering today, after work.

 

I will never give up on having a home of my dreams. Still a long way to go...

 

Hugs x

[[ca...]]

I didn't know that this forum existed. I've lost track of how many months that I have been Benson free. I think it is over 50 months! Well like most of us,as time goes by I notice improvement! It's just not fast enough! One thing that I have noticed over the past year. I have rediscovered what normal really feels like. What frustrates me though is that I have spent over 4 years of my life not enjoying life to the full. I was 63 when this nightmare began. I'm 67 now! To look at me, few know the pain that I have had to endure while taking care of my responsibilities. Right now I am having nerve pain in my jaws and going down my neck. It's not constant but it comes and goes. It causes me to be anxious which seems to agrivate my symptoms. On the positive side, I use to have several symptoms to deal with. Now it is just one or two and they come and go!

[[Th...]]

I am just over 30 months off and completely recovered except for an off night of sleep here and there.  Healing is possible!  I was a short term user that did a cold turkey.

[[lo...]]

after being in a bad wave for 1-2months or so, I have been feeling really good for the last couple weeks (with couple rough moments).

it would only make sense that 18-30 is a healing period for many.

I definitely have a solid clarity of mind and high energy lately. However I have not been sitting idly either, big lifestyle changes. this might be a coincidence, but I believe that sitting and waiting is the absolute worst thing you can do. there is no one fits all as we are different, but healing is in your hands.

greetings all

 

[[Ti...]]

I think that is true regarding healing range. I also noted improvements after bigger waves(which is new) at 28-30 months period.

[[St...]]

What are people’s verdicts on chamomile tea?

 

I can’t decide if it’s messing me up or not.

 

I only drink it before bed, but wondering if it’s why my mornings are still SO bad at 4+ years off?

 

Just thinking that by the morning it’s worn off which might leave me feeling even more sensitised

 

Typical morning... open my eyes at 6am tingling and inner vibrations start immediately, toxic energy and anxiety kicks in, try to get up and walk about a bit to distract, then by the time the tingling and vibrations and toxic energy wears off a few hours later I’m left feeling EXHAUSTED

 

Appreciate your thoughts 💭

[[za...]]

I am a combination of stressed and bored. It's a weird feeling. And the clock goes so slowly. Has it stopped? My life consists of TV and Internet. I try to read and meditate, but get easy anxiety. I try to accept, and get the day to go. But this is not fun.

 

Do you have any suggestions for activities?

 

Dear Translator, are you able now to get out of the house? I remember in one of our posts that this is was a big challenge.

 

Hugs of healing,

Mary

[[tr...]]

Hi Mary! I remember you as a very good friend, and I love your humor.

 

Now, month 38, and I still don't want to be outdoors. I know, I have to try, but all new impressions create setbacks. I tried last week, but got panic and just wanted to go home. I both love, and hate, my couch.

 

How are you? Hug!

[[za...]]

Hi Mary! I remember you as a very good friend, and I love your humor.

 

Now, month 38, and I still don't want to be outdoors. I know, I have to try, but all new impressions create setbacks. I tried last week, but got panic and just wanted to go home. I both love, and hate, my couch.

 

How are you? Hug!

 

My dear, I am doing much better now that I am off the oxazepam but I am still having the crippling fear and DP/DR. I am trying to keep busy with learning the German language in a school here in Berlin.  Do you have somebody helping you with the groceries? I wish we were closer so we could help you.

[[Lo...]]

Good to see this thread taking off again, 18 - 30 months off can be a tough time.

 

Keep looking out for each other and you will get through.

 

Peace

[Guest [...]]

Hi there those much farther down the road.....

I’m here to ask about muscle pain but don’t wish to trigger anyone else reading this thread for hope ; mine is severe.

Anyone able to send a pm and let me know if and when this lifts and what has offered any relief?  I’ve tried the usual Ice, heat, nsaids, stretch etc. But this is beyond that.

 

Sure would appreciate any thoughts

 

 

[[Kl...]]

Unfortunately a lot of the pain I've experienced doesn't get touched by anything really. The best I've found is hot baths and I've tried icy hot, sometimes it helped.

[Guest [...]]

Klungo,

How would you describe your pain? Is your pain a direct result of your taper?

[Guest [...]]

What are people’s verdicts on chamomile tea?

 

I can’t decide if it’s messing me up or not.

 

I only drink it before bed, but wondering if it’s why my mornings are still SO bad at 4+ years off?

 

Just thinking that by the morning it’s worn off which might leave me feeling even more sensitised

 

Typical morning... open my eyes at 6am tingling and inner vibrations start immediately, toxic energy and anxiety kicks in, try to get up and walk about a bit to distract, then by the time the tingling and vibrations and toxic energy wears off a few hours later I’m left feeling EXHAUSTED

 

Appreciate your thoughts 💭

 

Are your tingling and toxic mornings painful?  Have they improved at all from the early days post taper completion?

 

Thanks f