18 - 30 Month Plus Group

[[an...]]

My main symptoms are very bad vision problems- static, strobing, peripheral is all messed up, choppy, frames, double, worms, floaters. Really really bad.

 

Nerve pain all over my body. Elbow, knees, bottoms of feet, shoulders, lower back.

 

Sensitive to EVERYTHING. Phobias, anxiety, fear of things.

 

Tiny emotions, feeling down and depressed- no hope for healing, no motivation. Weights gain.

 

But...: I am able to function and am going to school (off for the summer so I’m traveling). I live in a great paradox where I feel like dying every single day and nothing feels normal or ok but I just keep putting one front in front of another. I have become very comfortable in being uncomfortable.

[[so...]]

Stuck,

 

The good news is you’re not 38 months out.  According to your sig, you jumped when I did.  You are almost 43 months out.  Don’t cheat yourself of all the frigging time you’ve put in.

 

Sofa

[[St...]]

You’re right, that shows how well my brain is working at the moment

[[Th...]]

I am officially part of this group as of yesterday. Tear. I've been in a bedridden seven week wave. Right now My head is boating some days it's a pontoon boat other moments it's a cruis liner or a speed boat. Panic attacks. Benzo flu. Crippling fatigue and these episodes of my body falling asleep but I'm not. Can't tolerate being too worm and I'm scared of my own shadow. All of this is much better than it was when the wave started. I'm so sorry you all are suffering so much it breaks my heart.

[[ne...]]

I have got dizziness back and I could cry!!! Anyone had any symptoms come back after all this time?

[[Ti...]]

Soon month 27. Corner to the bettee turned around month 24. Am now unfortenly in a wave but they are weaker now!

 

Take care yall.

[[St...]]

I have got dizziness back and I could cry!!! Anyone had any symptoms come back after all this time?

 

Yep. I got brain zaps back after not having them since the first year.

[[Re...]]

Man 2 years and 4 months off what a long ride it has been. Still not recovered but doing light years better than the early days. Been having a very hard time lately with sitting through my college classes. My allergies have been the worst they have been in years which seems to be causing waves. So ready for this journey to be over already. It really shows you the strength and will of the human mind though. Going through all of this and reading everyone else's stories on here. I feel weird about posting on here anymore especially when i read about people still in the depths of hell.

[[Ti...]]

I am ready too, this take just to long and my patience really start to decline. But we're getting thrue days no matter what and how. Each day passing by we're getting closer to healing.

[[Ba...]]

Hello all

I’m 29 months out from a 4 month use including taper, some symptoms have lessened such as monophobia and severe fear but the waves are still kicking my ass with depression, anxiety, apathy,head pressure and tingling,depersonalization as well as some nerve pain are still pretty strong but I can tell that I’m better than a year or 2 ago. There is no pill to fix what pills have done to us. Only time will fix this. Hang in there everyone.

[[tr...]]

Can I join the group? 36 months.

 

/Anna

[[au...]]

I'm so glad this group has been reignited; I just hit 18 months off on December 15th and haven't had many dedicated spots I visit lately, besides the medical cannabis and cbd group. I used to hang on the post-withdrawal threads, but needed to move on as I felt better.

 

I feel like I'm about 85-90% there, but have found this time period challenging in its own way, because I'm not just fighting to survive on a daily basis now, but have the time and head space to be bothered by things I'm still sensitive to. I believe the best thing I did for myself was go back to counseling last year. I need to work out all the things that led me to benzos in the first place and so far, it's been immensely helpful.

 

I look forward to conversing with you and hearing input from those slightly ahead of me in time!

[[A1...]]

hi all ...lets keep this group going.....hopefully there are some people that can give us some hope with being so far out and that have some positive changes taking place....

 

at 19months i have nausea every morning and then the depression also bites me in the ass when the nausea fades during the day ......

 

i did see that across the benzo buddie site that there are a few people at 20 -24 months seeing some good changes ...hopefully they  can join and gives us some hope...........

[[Ho...]]

Hi A1965, 22,5 months out here and I guess I can use some positivity lately. In a very rough spot at the moment. Tremors, squeezing and nerve pain together with lack of appetite, nausea and terror thoughts. Let’s restart the discussion on this group with other buddies. Hope your day is doable!

 

What are the plans for today?

[[Kl...]]

I'm approaching 28 months next week. Things definitely got better around 24 months, though I'm still up and down with sx daily.. They have

gotten a lot less over the past few months even.. I am hoping as I get closer to 30, things will improve much more rapidly. I am mostly functional, I work, can enjoy life a little more, but I'm not there yet and it's not an easy life yet. It does get better!

 

 

[[...]]

Hi All,

 

20.5 months here. While I’m seeing some overall progress and my symptoms are bouncing around like crazy I’m also getting monster waves. All of 19 was pretty bad hitting a crescendo over the holidays. Then I caught the cold from hell (which wasn’t as bad as I thought it might be). I’m finally crawling out of it slowly. I have never felt as tired as I do now. It’s tired right down to every cell in my body.

 

McS

[[Ho...]]

I think we share the same experience, I see overall improvement but at this stage still non-functional.

I have symptoms which I did not experience in the first year. The intensity is much stronger and I am cycling from day to day. No work means no distraction, so crawling through the days. Are you guys working? I can’t handle any physical stress. I have heard that another buddy noticed improvement around year 2. Let’s keep our fingerz crossed. By the way I am moving to a new house next month.

[[...]]

Hey Hopehope,

 

Yes, some days I see marked improvement and others I feel like I did months ago. I was pretty much a flat line for the longest time but maybe around 16 I started to see an up and down pattern start. I don’t like to say “windows” because they aren’t super symptom free times. But more of a lessening in intensity of my symptoms.

 

I work a few days a week as a volunteer so it’s no pressure. It’s physical work but I like it.

 

Good luck with your move!

[[Ho...]]

Hi Mcs,

 

Sounds not too bad! Hopefully this trend continues for you. Good that you are working as a volunteer.

What are you doing exactly?

[[au...]]

I think we share the same experience, I see overall improvement but at this stage still non-functional.

I have symptoms which I did not experience in the first year. The intensity is much stronger and I am cycling from day to day. No work means no distraction, so crawling through the days. Are you guys working? I can’t handle any physical stress. I have heard that another buddy noticed improvement around year 2. Let’s keep our fingerz crossed. By the way I am moving to a new house next month.

 

Hi Hopehope,

 

I work 4 days a week. I have been all along. I have an awesome job I adore and very understanding boss and coworkers. I'm a receptionist in a dispensary in Colorado. Everyone knows what I'm going through and have been so supportive. I feel it wouldn't be this easy going just anywhere. I'm incredibly grateful.

 

My partner and I bought our first house between months 5 and 6! I can't believe I made it through it, but I did! The circumstances were crazy, to boot; we found our house on the first day we looked and had to fast track the entire process. I can definitely say it helped make me stronger overall in this journey!

 

BEST of luck with your move! I started packing weeks before we actually moved and it was extremely helpful for me!

[[...]]

Hopehope,

 

I moved in month 2. Sold my house during my taper and spent the days after jumping house hunting and buying a new house. I was crushed at the time. We lived in corporate housing in month 3 and moved into our new house in month 4.

 

It’s a lot but survivable. You got this.

 

McS

[[Ho...]]

You guys are an inspiration! Today was kind of “OK” compare to the last days/weeks. But the devil always come back ughhhhhhh. Made it to a birthday party with many young children.

 

@ auroagory, working through this process deserves a medal. I wish I can return to work someday. Lost my job 6 months ago. I was a succesful international sales manager. Went to Las Vegas several times for exhibitions. Crazy town with lots of madness. How functional are you?

 

@ mcs, thanks for the advice, I appreciate. And you are still alive!

 

 

[[lo...]]

joining.

25 months out or so. 3 months gabapentin.

not sure why, but still having sort of waves. they not as bad as acute, I do live nearly 100%, but it nags on me 9am-7pm every day.

 

[[au...]]

You guys are an inspiration! Today was kind of “OK” compare to the last days/weeks. But the devil always come back ughhhhhhh. Made it to a birthday party with many young children.

 

@ auroagory, working through this process deserves a medal. I wish I can return to work someday. Lost my job 6 months ago. I was a succesful international sales manager. Went to Las Vegas several times for exhibitions. Crazy town with lots of madness. How functional are you?

 

@ mcs, thanks for the advice, I appreciate. And you are still alive!

 

Other than putting my social life on hold due to debilitating social anxiety, I've pretty much been following my regular schedule. I don't travel too far from home yet; I stay within about an 8 mile radius. I did take a 2 night trip 4 hours away last summer at 13 months off.

 

I believe taking 13 months to taper really helped things be *slightly* less intense, especially when I jumped and the first 3 months or so afterward.

 

I work 4 days per week, attend cardio kickboxing 3 times per week and attend bodypump and mat pilates once per week. I also more recently started lifting weights. Exercise is absolutely my new anti-depressant. I love group classes where I can blend in with the crowd.

 

I ditched my old group of friends and started a fitness journey in month 3 of my taper and haven't looked back. I really enjoy my kickboxing community; my instructors and a few members know what I'm going through and have been super supportive. I've gone from hiding in the corner not wanting to be noticed to engaging in conversation on the mat. I've come a long way for sure.

[[tr...]]

Hi! Can I join this group? Now, it's month 36, and I feel so bad. There is another group for me, but it's so quiet. Is it ok?   

 

Anna