18 - 30 Month Plus Group

[[Lo...]]

Thanks Sofa, NCT and Marj. I really needed to hear that, i always am so devastating getting thrown back in the hole i cant see out of.

 

NCT that toxic poisonous feeling is all too common. I had it really bad a few months back and is a beast. Good thing is it went away but damn its horrendous.

 

Well.... im off to work. Nothing like crawling through roofs to help with the muscle pain.

 

This too shall pass

[[Mi...]]

Hi All,

 

Thank you for the PMs...

I havent had time to catch up on all the posts the past few weeks.  My daughter was in the Childrens Hospital for quite awhile. She was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes...  We almost lost her.  So to say the least I have been a very busy Mama...

Thank God I was in a pretty good window for our hospital stay.  Was able to learn about her diagnosis, and comprehend everything.  I new abit about type 2 but wow this type 1 stuff is quite abit...  I dont know if its the stress of all this or what but I have been wavy all week.  My body just isnt dealing with all of this very well I guess.

 

Anyways I will be back soon as things are calming here.  Thanks again for all the PMs...

 

Hugs to All...

Keep fighting warriors!

[[Te...]]

Marj ....I get the burning spots ....I notice them the most in the elbows...

 

Jen.......sorry about your daughter my nephew was diagnosed with this when he was three he is 24  and doing great.....sorry for this additional stress....sending healing hugs!

 

TM

 

[[Va...]]

I love when I'm laying in bed peacefully and I can feel the toxic sludge start welling up inside me.  Like a wave coursing through me and cresting, then crashing over me.  So much for peace.

 

I have this every morning or in the night when I wake up. It starts right away or when I get up to walk to the toilet. It is horrible.

[[...]]

NCT,

 

I have had the chemical toxic poisonous filthy vile disgusting choking dirty feeling MANY times.  I hope I covered enough adjectives to describe it but, no matter how many words, it wouldn't touch this horrible sludge in a million years.  Right now, when I swallow, it feels like a water balloon full of slimy chemicals has a grip around my throat.  My head weighs at least 50 lbs.

 

This is lovely.  These pills should be outlawed, along with the doctors who prescribe them.

 

Sofa

 

 

 

Yes I have this,  have had it all night and have it now. It is vile and its everywhere. Can hardly breathe.

 

 

Jen I am so sorry for what you have been through with your daughter 

[[ne...]]

Another symptom here for me ...when does this all end ?

 

Woke today feeling as though I`m plugged into an electric socket ....my whole CNS feels totally screwed.

 

Its so hard to describe these symptoms and no doubt a doctor would think I`d totally flipped if I tried to explain....with the electricity feelings coursing through I`m getting cog fog, back pain, neck stiff just to name a few....

 

Buddies have any of you felt the same?

 

And where are the windows?  Anyone not getting any as well?

[[...]]

Another symptom here for me ...when does this all end ?

 

Woke today feeling as though I`m plugged into an electric socket ....my whole CNS feels totally screwed.

 

Its so hard to describe these symptoms and no doubt a doctor would think I`d totally flipped if I tried to explain....with the electricity feelings coursing through I`m getting cog fog, back pain, neck stiff just to name a few....

 

Buddies have any of you felt the same?

 

And where are the windows?  Anyone not getting any as well?

 

 

NCT,  I relate completely to ALL of that. No windows here too for a while now. I also feel like I have hot poison running throughout my brain and body, yet massive fatigue. So sick of it too

[[so...]]

NCT,

 

I got the electrical buzzing shit at around 16 months out.  It just started to break up from being constant about a month ago.  I had it every day all day for about a year and it was a latecomer symptom, which wasn't supposed to last that long.  There are NO RULES in withdrawal.  All we have are what we experience ourselves.  This could be short-lived for you.  I've had a few symptoms that lasted just a few months or weeks and went away.  Unfortunately, for me, the short-lived buggers weren't that bothersome.  The long lasting ones were bitches.

 

I still get little runs of electricity now and then, and ALWAYS if I try to lay down midday.  I have a theory that my body is busy repairing and the hyperactivity of repairing won't let me rest during the day.  Only my natural melatonin, when it kicks in around 10-11pm, do I get to rest.

 

Sofa

 

 

[[jj...]]

Lockie,

 

You're getting better.  There are ways you can get worse or go backwards or start over.  You are doing none of these things.  You did not reinstate.  You aren't drinking alcohol or smoking pot.  You aren't taking supplements or meds that effect the gaba receptors.  You are moving forward.

 

I know of someone who healed and recently had a lot of blood work done.  There is a blood test to determine if there is any damage to gaba receptors and neurotransmitters.  After 16 years on 30 different drugs, including multiple benzos, absolutely NO DAMAGE was found in the gaba receptors and the various neurotransmitters.  Benzodiazepines, the doctor told her, DO NOT CAUSE PERMANENT DAMAGE.  Yes, it takes a long time to get the imbalance between the receptors and neurotransmitters back in synch, but they ARE NOT DAMAGED.  The body is constantly trying to reach homeostasis every minute of every day.

 

For the past two weeks, my sleep has been disturbed.  Constant wake ups.  Yes, it worries me because I haven't suffered from insomnia for 29 months.  Now I am.  Yes, I wonder if I'm going backwards.  I keep in mind what I have always noticed about this process.  Whatever symptom is taking a front seat, is the one my body is working to resolve at the moment.  Every single phase I go through has proven to me that the front seat symptom resolves after being repaired by my internal healing system.  Sometimes the front seat symptom takes days to resolve, sometimes weeks, sometimes months.  When it takes months, that's when we get scared that we are damaged.  We ARE NOT DAMAGED.  We are repairing.  Our bodies know how to fix this and, when we come to the end of this journey, the one thing we will regret is how fearful and worried we got because we did not have faith that our bodies knew how to fix this.  We will regret the torture we put ourselves through.  The mental torture is what makes this journey so difficult for all of us. 

 

Have faith everyone.  Our bodies know how to fix this.  It may take 3-4 years to completely be free of all this, but it will happen.

 

Sofa

 

um... I really don't think there is a blood test that determines if there is any damage to gaba receptors and neurotransmitters.

[[ne...]]

marj and Sofa. Thanks for your reassurances that the electric crap is `normal.`

 

 

You`re absolutely right Sofa, there doesn`t seem to be any rules in this ...it would make it so much easier if there were!

 

 

 

 

[[jj...]]

Hi everyone, just going over some posts and checking in. Probably mostly because I know sometimes people will follow up on old timers to see what happened to them for hope, not that I think anyone posting here actually cares all that much, lol.

 

I'm not 100% but I'm slowly getting there. Each week I'm getting just a tad better. Most promising is that my benzo induced floating anxiety, panic and heart palps has almost completely abated. My sleep has drastically improved over the last couple of months or so. I'm able to nap if I need to during the day without getting the toxic rebound and sleeping 6-7 hours each night. I'm still walking most days, staying away from caffeine and supplements and trying to eat right. I know, broken record and all that...

 

Still have a ways to go, but I'm getting more optimistic with every passing day that I'm getting to the tail end of this nightmare. Remaining symptoms are the dizziness,, paresthesia, occasional sweats and a little skin burning but these are slowly improving as well. Maybe my next post will be my success story. Who knows.

 

We're all going to get there at some point! Keep fighting the good fight, friends! Perseverance is the key!

[[ne...]]

jjrosk. Thanks for your update, its heart warming to see you`re getting toward the end!

 

I was just wondering how everyone is doing?

 

Buddies.....has anything left for you all?  At my 2 year mark now I`d like to know if we`re all making progress?  And for those further did it get easier the further you got from stopping the benzo?

 

For myself, muscle pain has been my core symptom but I`ve had a lot of the other stuff too....So far (crossing my fingers) the anxiety has got less and I used to pace every morning ...ya`ll all know what I mean by that,  had to walk off that adrenalin...that's gone !!!

 

I`m still getting a host of crap and today I`m boaty like I`m drunk...which of course I`m not!!  This certainly is the gift that keeps on giving ...but I`m hoping that all the cycling of symptoms I`ve been getting lately mean some deep healing is happening.

 

I know all our journey`s are going to be different for each of us ...but just thought it would be nice to see how we`re all doing. x

 

 

[[mr...]]

Lockie,

 

You're getting better.  There are ways you can get worse or go backwards or start over.  You are doing none of these things.  You did not reinstate.  You aren't drinking alcohol or smoking pot.  You aren't taking supplements or meds that effect the gaba receptors.  You are moving forward.

 

I know of someone who healed and recently had a lot of blood work done.  There is a blood test to determine if there is any damage to gaba receptors and neurotransmitters.  After 16 years on 30 different drugs, including multiple benzos, absolutely NO DAMAGE was found in the gaba receptors and the various neurotransmitters.  Benzodiazepines, the doctor told her, DO NOT CAUSE PERMANENT DAMAGE.  Yes, it takes a long time to get the imbalance between the receptors and neurotransmitters back in synch, but they ARE NOT DAMAGED.  The body is constantly trying to reach homeostasis every minute of every day.

 

For the past two weeks, my sleep has been disturbed.  Constant wake ups.  Yes, it worries me because I haven't suffered from insomnia for 29 months.  Now I am.  Yes, I wonder if I'm going backwards.  I keep in mind what I have always noticed about this process.  Whatever symptom is taking a front seat, is the one my body is working to resolve at the moment.  Every single phase I go through has proven to me that the front seat symptom resolves after being repaired by my internal healing system.  Sometimes the front seat symptom takes days to resolve, sometimes weeks, sometimes months.  When it takes months, that's when we get scared that we are damaged.  We ARE NOT DAMAGED.  We are repairing.  Our bodies know how to fix this and, when we come to the end of this journey, the one thing we will regret is how fearful and worried we got because we did not have faith that our bodies knew how to fix this.  We will regret the torture we put ourselves through.  The mental torture is what makes this journey so difficult for all of us. 

 

Have faith everyone.  Our bodies know how to fix this.  It may take 3-4 years to completely be free of all this, but it will happen.

 

Sofa

 

um... I really don't think there is a blood test that determines if there is any damage to gaba receptors and neurotransmitters.

 

Hi JJ,

 

I know it sounds a bit "hokey", but there actually is testing that checks neuroreceptor damages. It is most commonly used in MS cases and such, to check and see how advanced the disease is (my uncle has ALS). It's accuracy is still not perfect, so from what I understand it is used as an estimation tool rather than a "standard" for testing. It's still reassuring to me to hear that it showed zero damage for a benzo withdrawaler, even as an estimation tool! Hopefully it brings others on here some hope too

 

Mrs.

[[...]]

jjrosk,  glad to hear of your improvements,  it sure must feel relief. Did/do you have physical, neurological stuff?

 

Well my sleep seems to have improved,  however in my dreams I had debilitating fatigue.  Does anyone else have the feeling that their muscularskeletal system is just fused together? Its so bad in neck,  shoulders, head and spine,  but affects face,  eyes. Really worried I have something neurological.

 

Hey Mrs 

[[Lo...]]

Hey everyone just checking in. Had a bit of a head cold and scratchy throat last few days. Same shit thou, physically feeling average low energy and a bit sore. Had my old friend cogfog and head pressure phasing in and out over the easter break. Dont know if its cause im a bit sick or shit diet and too much chocolate lol.

 

Anyway the positive is normally when im in a "wave" or whatever this is i would have missed out on all the social stuff but went to everything and a racing meet even though i was struggling.

 

Hoping for a window when this cold passes and get my diet back on track.

 

Hope you all had a happy easter ☺

[[jj...]]

jjrosk,  glad to hear of your improvements,  it sure must feel relief. Did/do you have physical, neurological stuff?

 

Well my sleep seems to have improved,  however in my dreams I had debilitating fatigue.  Does anyone else have the feeling that their muscularskeletal system is just fused together? Its so bad in neck,  shoulders, head and spine,  but affects face,  eyes. Really worried I have something neurological.

 

Hey Mrs 

 

Yes, big relief for sure. I thought I was permanently brain damaged a few months ago, but as it turns out, I'm just a slow healer. We all know this, but in the thick of it it's impossible to actually believe it. 

 

I had the bulk of the physical/neurological symptoms. I've been on the extreme end for most of the ride. Somewhere in my previous posts, I think I listed out all of my symptoms but the good news is that I'm just dealing with a small handful of completely manageable ones now. Still is hard for me to believe that these drugs cause so much devastation for some of us.

[[jj...]]

Lockie,

 

You're getting better.  There are ways you can get worse or go backwards or start over.  You are doing none of these things.  You did not reinstate.  You aren't drinking alcohol or smoking pot.  You aren't taking supplements or meds that effect the gaba receptors.  You are moving forward.

 

I know of someone who healed and recently had a lot of blood work done.  There is a blood test to determine if there is any damage to gaba receptors and neurotransmitters.  After 16 years on 30 different drugs, including multiple benzos, absolutely NO DAMAGE was found in the gaba receptors and the various neurotransmitters.  Benzodiazepines, the doctor told her, DO NOT CAUSE PERMANENT DAMAGE.  Yes, it takes a long time to get the imbalance between the receptors and neurotransmitters back in synch, but they ARE NOT DAMAGED.  The body is constantly trying to reach homeostasis every minute of every day.

 

For the past two weeks, my sleep has been disturbed.  Constant wake ups.  Yes, it worries me because I haven't suffered from insomnia for 29 months.  Now I am.  Yes, I wonder if I'm going backwards.  I keep in mind what I have always noticed about this process.  Whatever symptom is taking a front seat, is the one my body is working to resolve at the moment.  Every single phase I go through has proven to me that the front seat symptom resolves after being repaired by my internal healing system.  Sometimes the front seat symptom takes days to resolve, sometimes weeks, sometimes months.  When it takes months, that's when we get scared that we are damaged.  We ARE NOT DAMAGED.  We are repairing.  Our bodies know how to fix this and, when we come to the end of this journey, the one thing we will regret is how fearful and worried we got because we did not have faith that our bodies knew how to fix this.  We will regret the torture we put ourselves through.  The mental torture is what makes this journey so difficult for all of us. 

 

Have faith everyone.  Our bodies know how to fix this.  It may take 3-4 years to completely be free of all this, but it will happen.

 

Sofa

 

um... I really don't think there is a blood test that determines if there is any damage to gaba receptors and neurotransmitters.

 

Hi JJ,

 

I know it sounds a bit "hokey", but there actually is testing that checks neuroreceptor damages. It is most commonly used in MS cases and such, to check and see how advanced the disease is (my uncle has ALS). It's accuracy is still not perfect, so from what I understand it is used as an estimation tool rather than a "standard" for testing. It's still reassuring to me to hear that it showed zero damage for a benzo withdrawaler, even as an estimation tool! Hopefully it brings others on here some hope too

 

Mrs.

 

Interesting, do you know what that test is called? I'd like to research it.

[[so...]]

JJ,

 

I have never seen anything but slow healing in this mess.

 

Sofa

[[mr...]]

Lockie,

 

You're getting better.  There are ways you can get worse or go backwards or start over.  You are doing none of these things.  You did not reinstate.  You aren't drinking alcohol or smoking pot.  You aren't taking supplements or meds that effect the gaba receptors.  You are moving forward.

 

I know of someone who healed and recently had a lot of blood work done.  There is a blood test to determine if there is any damage to gaba receptors and neurotransmitters.  After 16 years on 30 different drugs, including multiple benzos, absolutely NO DAMAGE was found in the gaba receptors and the various neurotransmitters.  Benzodiazepines, the doctor told her, DO NOT CAUSE PERMANENT DAMAGE.  Yes, it takes a long time to get the imbalance between the receptors and neurotransmitters back in synch, but they ARE NOT DAMAGED.  The body is constantly trying to reach homeostasis every minute of every day.

 

For the past two weeks, my sleep has been disturbed.  Constant wake ups.  Yes, it worries me because I haven't suffered from insomnia for 29 months.  Now I am.  Yes, I wonder if I'm going backwards.  I keep in mind what I have always noticed about this process.  Whatever symptom is taking a front seat, is the one my body is working to resolve at the moment.  Every single phase I go through has proven to me that the front seat symptom resolves after being repaired by my internal healing system.  Sometimes the front seat symptom takes days to resolve, sometimes weeks, sometimes months.  When it takes months, that's when we get scared that we are damaged.  We ARE NOT DAMAGED.  We are repairing.  Our bodies know how to fix this and, when we come to the end of this journey, the one thing we will regret is how fearful and worried we got because we did not have faith that our bodies knew how to fix this.  We will regret the torture we put ourselves through.  The mental torture is what makes this journey so difficult for all of us. 

 

Have faith everyone.  Our bodies know how to fix this.  It may take 3-4 years to completely be free of all this, but it will happen.

 

Sofa

 

um... I really don't think there is a blood test that determines if there is any damage to gaba receptors and neurotransmitters.

 

Hi JJ,

 

I know it sounds a bit "hokey", but there actually is testing that checks neuroreceptor damages. It is most commonly used in MS cases and such, to check and see how advanced the disease is (my uncle has ALS). It's accuracy is still not perfect, so from what I understand it is used as an estimation tool rather than a "standard" for testing. It's still reassuring to me to hear that it showed zero damage for a benzo withdrawaler, even as an estimation tool! Hopefully it brings others on here some hope too

 

Mrs.

 

Interesting, do you know what that test is called? I'd like to research it.

 

I don't, but I could ask my aunt to see if she knows what they used on my uncle? I'll get back to you

 

Mrs.

[[Lo...]]

Staring at the ceiling till 3am last night. Woke up at 6am................ WINDOW after having a shit time for weeks. This whole WD thing is so bizarre , window lasted 2 hours then bit of fatigue and cogfog then afternoon window for an hour. Now crashed hard and can tell i only had 3 hours sleep.

 

Been an interesting day lol

[[so...]]

Hi Buddies,

 

I've been dealing with a flip flopping of symptoms changing the times when they hit.  This has been going on for a couple of weeks now.  In the evenings I get a "run" of the heart racing before bed for about an hour.  For most of my withdrawal my evenings were always a time where my symptoms waned a bit.  Now I get an evening surge.  Does anyone else get this kind of change up?

 

My sleep is better, but I'm still getting a wake up around midnight.  I get up and pee and I eat something and go back to bed.  I don't know what this means, but I can't seem to sleep a full 7 hours without a couple of wake ups.

 

I hope this is normal.  Whatever normal is.  Can anyone reassure me?

 

I also still wake up at 4am the same dreaded way.

 

Sofa

[[so...]]

Mrs,

 

How are you doing?  Are things pretty much gone for you?  You are always so positive and accepting of this process.  I wish I could stop fearing this "weirdness."  29.5 months soon and I still have the fear that this is my life.

 

Sofa

[[...]]

Sofa I'm exact like you. I'm just trying to do a bot of gardening and want to throw myself on the floor. Of one person tells me to be grateful, I swear I will break. Only someone truly going through this will understand.

[[so...]]

Today I felt sick and emotionally down.  Want to cry, but can't muster up the strength.  This is very difficult. 

 

Sofa

[Guest [Ty...]]

 

 

I know of someone who healed and recently had a lot of blood work done.  There is a blood test to determine if there is any damage to gaba receptors and neurotransmitters.  After 16 years on 30 different drugs, including multiple benzos, absolutely NO DAMAGE was found in the gaba receptors and the various neurotransmitters.  Benzodiazepines, the doctor told her, DO NOT CAUSE PERMANENT DAMAGE.  Yes, it takes a long time to get the imbalance between the receptors and neurotransmitters back in synch, but they ARE NOT DAMAGED.  The body is constantly trying to reach homeostasis every minute of every day.

 

 

Fascinating.

if you will, please provide the name of this test.

Thanks much.