18 - 30 Month Plus Group

[[jj...]]

Wow, drew! 80% on a trip to nz is pretty amazing! So good to see! 

[[Co...]]

Sofa, not at all....the forum is all about sharing ...I am just hardly ever on the boards anymore. I loved on them for  years and have  'forum fatigue'.....I am trying to update my progress journal from time to time, but not even keeping up with that

    Wishing everyone better and better days....healing lies ahead and time really is our best strategy for healing

                                      coop

[Guest [...]]

Sofa, not at all....the forum is all about sharing ...I am just hardly ever on the boards anymore. I loved on them for  years and have  'forum fatigue'.....I am trying to update my progress journal from time to time, but not even keeping up with that

    Wishing everyone better and better days....healing lies ahead and time really is our best strategy for healing

                                      coop

 

Coop,would you mind telling me when the dizziness left for good?I am just past 3yrs.and still dizzy.

 

Also,did you still get adrenaline surges at night and during the day at 3yrs.?It's still so awful,I can feel the tingling in my arms and legs as they come on,then comes the DP.It gets triggered by the most smallest stressors too!

 

Thanks Coop!

[[Co...]]

2200....it's hard to say about the dizziness as I have an inner ear disorder ( Menieres )....that I had before benzos, it was the vertigo caused by the Meneires  that got me prescribed ativan. I will say that I think the w/d increased and exacerbated  the vertigo attacks. I am essentially free of most dizziness now as my Menieres  has been in remission since last November. I had a prescription of erythromycin last summer that wrecked my good ear for about 5 months. I think we need to be careful of any antibiotic that has macrolides  which can be toxic to the ear. I tolerate tetracycline the best . I think if you just keep going you will see slow  steady improvement. I had the most consistent healing in the last 4-6 months...

    You will heal too ....there is a very good dizziness support group ....just don't give up.

                        coop

[Guest [...]]

2200....it's hard to say about the dizziness as I have an inner ear disorder ( Menieres )....that I had before benzos, it was the vertigo caused by the Meneires  that got me prescribed ativan. I will say that I think the w/d increased and exacerbated  the vertigo attacks. I am essentially free of most dizziness now as my Menieres  has been in remission since last November. I had a prescription of erythromycin last summer that wrecked my good ear for about 5 months. I think we need to be careful of any antibiotic that has macrolides  which can be toxic to the ear. I tolerate tetracycline the best . I think if you just keep going you will see slow  steady improvement. I had the most consistent healing in the last 4-6 months...

    You will heal too ....there is a very good dizziness support group ....just don't give up.

                        coop

 

 

Thankyou Coop!I really appreciate it!I will definitely be careful about those type of antibiotics.I have heard some are very toxic to the ears.The last thing I want is more of the same with the dizzy stuff!

 

I love the dizzy support group with Lapis,it has been a huge help to me.

 

I am so glad you came back to say hi and let everybody know how you were doing!Not only is it great to hear from you,but you help more then you know!

[[so...]]

Coop,

 

It is so encouraging to read what you said about healing most consistently in the last 4-6 months.  When you put it that way, I keep looking forward to the time when healing begins to snowball.  For the past 29.5 months, my snowball is sunk in cement.  It's nice to hear it picks up the pace the further along we get.

 

Thanks, Coop.

 

Sofa

[[jj...]]

Well guys... I'm in a full blown wave. I'm dumbfounded. 

[[so...]]

JJ,

 

Hang on, hun.  It's okay.  It happens this way.  You will get back to baseline when the wave settles down and moves out.  For me, it takes about a week and a half from start to finish.  Sometimes less.

 

Sofa

[[MT...]]

This raging insomniac managed to cobble together 7 light broken hours last night! That's probably a drug free record for me. I'm also taking occasional mini pseudo naps when I hit the wall. Being able to get too drowsy-ever-is such a privilege now. I don't think I'll ever take it for granted. I look forward to when I start getting deep sleep or can count on a 2 plus hour stretch every night but I'm still profoundly thankful for this progress. It really seemed to help when I decided to stop waiting to get better (particularly be able to sleep, think and have energy) before I started doing (what felt) impossible. I've been hiking, meeting friends and doing more work during my work days. Sometimes it's a slog and it's happening far more through sheer determination/stubbonness than because I feel well but it's worth it. We BB are a determined people and that will get across the finish line...one baby step at a time :smitten:

 

MT

[[Lo...]]

Wow, so good to hear about everyones progress and a huge thankyou to coop for dropping in! MT that is so good you are sleeping and hopefully this will accelerate your healing with good rest! Drew im stoked for you as well, going on a holiday like that and enjoying (most) of it is massive proof of healing.

 

Im much like MT achieving more through sheer determination. I am accomplishing more and although i do struggle - doesnt feel like im holding on by a thread anymore at work. I seem to be able to handle 3 half days a week so i can manage small installations now. 

 

Honna beat this

[[so...]]

MT and Lockie,

 

I am so very happy for you both! 

 

Little improvements are what we get.  Hold onto them with your determination and spirit.  They will blossom into bigger gains as time goes on.  I guess I'm on "pause" right now, waiting for another improvement.  I wish my heart rate would decrease soon.  It amps up everything.  I watched some of Baylissa's videos and they were very reassuring that we all heal in our own time frame, as fast as our own bodies can manage it.  We just need to keep plugging away every day and one day we are recovered completely.

 

Keep going everyone!

 

Sofa

 

 

[[...]]

Back at work today after a week off where I've been bad. Totally dreading it as no better. Everything is raging, feel done for........

[[so...]]

Marj,

 

I feel stuck like you.  Nothing seems better.  The early cortisol jolting wakeups never let up.  It's like I'm forever broken.  I constantly have to talk myself off the ledge every single day.  29.5 months of this shit.  Too much.

 

Sofa

[[...]]

Marj,

 

I feel stuck like you.  Nothing seems better.  The early cortisol jolting wakeups never let up.  It's like I'm forever broken.  I constantly have to talk myself off the ledge every single day.  29.5 months of this shit.  Too much.

 

Sofa

 

 

I'm so sorry Sofa. I totally know how you feel. Some of us have it like this unfortunately, it's just how it is, how our healing is taking place. This is the hard thing, everyone is different. I know I felt more optimistic earlier on, however when it's like this day in day out it's hard. I get sick of people saying 'oh, you need to think positive' , 'oh, you need to do this' . As if we don't do our best. Unfortunately it doesn't work like that. We'll get there Sofa and this will make us stronger and all we'll think is positive. All we have to do for now is survive and that's what Ian tells me. I trust him 100%, the others, not so much.

 

[[so...]]

Marj,

 

Yes, I trust your instincts about Ian too.  He knows.  It's hard to read posts about what Una Corbett says--that it's totally normal for this to take 5-10 years to resolve.  It's like hearing my own death sentence.  If I believed her to be right, my life would not be worth living.  Surviving and being "functional" for another several years would do me in.  I'm in an awful mental place these days.  The physical stuff, except for the 3am cortisol heart racing and constant 24/7 head pulsing, is pretty much gone.  The emotional and mental downward spiral is harder for me.  Always has been.

 

Surviving and functional is not living.

 

Sorry for the morbid post.  This sucks.

 

Sofa

[[Lo...]]

Hi Sofa and Marj, so sorry you are still getting hit  goddamn this withdrawal sux so bad. I know where you are both at as a matter of fact was there just last week......... badly. Had a massive dummy spit and feeling the same - down and out.

 

You guys know the drill. Your at the bottom of a cycle and will dust off your sholders back to baseline soon. Wash , rinse , repeat.

 

As far as healing goes you know its benzo lies. Damn they are convincing but untrue. Look at Coop and all the other buddies that arnt here anymore. Look at Drew on the up and up. Where is Siggy?? Doing well i bet. MT? Sleeping again after 3 years! Most heal around 3 years but some a bit longer except the mega extreme cases.

 

Dont listen to the benzo lies its bullshit. Your healing snowball has to be close

 

You guys are going to get there

 

 

[[so...]]

Oh Lockie!  Thank you for being so up and positive.  You are a great cheerleader.  I bet you look adorable in a plaid skirt and pom poms.

 

Okay, Lockie, today I will be optimistic.  I know this will all leave.  I'm emerging from my groundhog hole and I am seeing the sunlight.  Today is a better day than it was this morning.  Weird how it goes like that.

 

Thanks for the PMs, Marj.  You are a dear friend.  I am much better this afternoon.  I actually love the ups and downs of rollercoasters.  The barfing afterwards, not so much.

 

Love you guys, Sofa

[[Si...]]

Thanks for your replies everyone.  Your support and friendship mean so much to me.  I had a 3 hour electrical storm in my body this morning.  I just can't keep doing this.  I made huevos rancheros burritos for the community-wide swap meet tomorrow.  That was interesting.

 

Love, Sofa

 

It will pass and you will get better. Two months ago I was very close to hanging mysel,f I'm very sorry to say. My wife had to remove all the rope from the house. I was in a lot of extreme physical pain. I've never felt burning nerve pain that bad. The only thing I could compare it to was like having whole body shingles.

 

Now I feel 80-90% my old self most days. I was REALLY bad for 2 months (out of the last 4 from my setback beginning) and then the same thing that happened last time that my symptoms rapidly improved in a two week period. So it can happen for you too. I had the crazy cortisol surges early in the morning too. I'd wake up between 1am and 4am every night for months. I still have some symptoms and I know I could still hit a wave. Most nights I'm getting 6-7 hours of sleep again. I've even had a few 7-9 hour nights. Just stay the course my friend.

 

Thinking about everyone here every day, even if I don't stop by and say hi. 

[[Si...]]

Coop, I'm so glad to hear from you and that you're doing better. I know you had a rough ride for a really long time.

 

Marj, just keep slotting through until you reach the finish line. It could be any day now.

 

JJ, waves suck, but they will end sometime.

 

Drew, I'm glad your trip went pretty smoothly. I knew or would probably work out for you. I know I would worry about the jet lag. That's a long trip.

 

Lockie, seems you are making some progress bud.  One foot in front of the other.

 

MTfan!!!! I'm so glad you are seeing some improvements in sleep. You know that is one of my worst symptoms.

[[ci...]]

Hey Buddies, At 37 months I am a good 95% and months 33-37 have been significant healing.  Even 6 months ago I was feeling crappy, but the last few months things have really improved. It may take me 5 years to get to that 100% . But I just wanted you All to know that you are going to make it out of this nightmare,

[[so...]]

God bless you Siggy and Cindys.

 

Your successes are OUR successes.  They are our dreams and our hopes. 

 

Thank you so much.

 

Sofa

[[jj...]]

Coop, I'm so glad to hear from you and that you're doing better. I know you had a rough ride for a really long time.

 

Marj, just keep slotting through until you reach the finish line. It could be any day now.

 

JJ, waves suck, but they will end sometime.

 

Drew, I'm glad your trip went pretty smoothly. I knew or would probably work out for you. I know I would worry about the jet lag. That's a long trip.

 

Lockie, seems you are making some progress bud.  One foot in front of the other.

 

MTfan!!!! I'm so glad you are seeing some improvements in sleep. You know that is one of my worst symptoms.

 

Feeling better today, thanks siggy! Just a mini-flair apparently. Man, I think I got it handled, but these damn waves always manage to unseat me regardless of the fact I've been through a zillion of them.

 

Really great to hear that you're doing so much better! Stay away from the booze, buddy! 

[[Lo...]]

Wow look at all this healing going on! This really made my day.

[[Si...]]

Hi marj, just checking in. Hope your work day is going ok today. Another day in the books and getting closer.

 

Jj, yeah each time I've gotten better (all three times! Ugh) the waves would cycle very rapidly near the end. So actually a pretty good sign if they come quick and hard and then leave quickly.

 

Lockie, you at work today as well? I suppose you may be at home now, since you're on the other side of the planet from me.

 

I actually made it to my alarm clock today. First time in over 4 months. Never thought I'd be happy to be woken by my alarm! 

[[...]]

Hi marj, just checking in. Hope your work day is going ok today. Another day in the books and getting closer.

 

Jj, yeah each time I've gotten better (all three times! Ugh) the waves would cycle very rapidly near the end. So actually a pretty good sign if they come quick and hard and then leave quickly.

 

Lockie, you at work today as well? I suppose you may be at home now, since you're on the other side of the planet from me.

 

I actually made it to my alarm clock today. First time in over 4 months. Never thought I'd be happy to be woken by my alarm! 

 

 

 

 

Hey Siggy,

 

I’m so pleased to hear you have found your way back, there’s no one more deserving of this right now. All you have done is support here, even when in the depths of despair. I can tell you’re an uncomplicated kind soul, I’m usually a good judge of character; although not always so it seems, in your case I couldn’t be happier.

 

Yeah I’m ay work, still trying to get out of the crapper. Unfortunately I keep getting triggered and it messes with my head. I so want to leave the craziness of this behind and get on with the simple life I used to live. It seems a million miles away, however I’m clinging onto the hope that it’s waiting for me.