18 - 30 Month Plus Group

[[No...]]

Drew ... we never were the "crazy ones" ...

 

Sadly, unless the entire edifice of psychiatry that has been constructed over the last 50 years is dismantled nothing will change ...

 

And like so much else in our society, change can only be effected locally ...

[[dr...]]

Nova-according to many of the Drs I saw it was "all in my head" thus the crazy ones. I have many examples as I was looked upon that way even outside the medical community.  Also, the change starts slowly.  One doc doesn't prescribe benzos anymore, more stories antidote lay bubble up from us, etc...a decade or two down the road we can look back and see it.

 

On a similar note, there was a nyt article on how lower BP was desirable and taking meds was implied to do it. They said no to little side effects from bp meds.  In the online comment section it was literally a 50/1 skeptical to excited comment reply ratio.  I was shocked. The educated public gets it now it's just our voices are drowned out. 

 

 

Booting up my PC to work from home.  Had an enjoyable dinner w my future father in law and a decent night sleep. check in later.

[[...]]

No Sky, you would never upset me. I saw it on Bloom in Wellness and just read the positive bit about the fact he had or was getting better. On a funny note Luke Montague who the article is about is the son of The Earl of Sandwich. He is a massive campaigner about these issues. anyway he has a daughter called Lettuce.... true 

 

Marj, no one can say you guys don't have a sense of humour, right ?

 

Yes, I am familiar with his story, they talk about it a lot on bloom in wellness. He is my hero, doing so much to try to inform people on the topic.

 

I have just been fighting through my lesson here at the cafè.

 

of course, the minute I sat down, some guys with a pneumatic drill got started !

 

But I was able finally to have my lesson. I have two more this afternoon, hope it works out, many technical wrinkles to iron out.

 

 

 

 

But it helps give focus to my wd, I have this sick energy that needs channeling somehow.

 

Peace, Dr is still one of my biggy simptoms.

 

I think it's not the same kind as say, a year ago, but it's still there. We don't notice the symptoms evolve, even when they aer still there.

 

At least, that's how it is for me.

 

HH, your updates are always welcome. I actually look forward to them, you know how to present them tactfully. Plus, we know you, so we are so happy to hear everything.

 

Drew, so funny about your Gf finding you chipper !

 

But that's how it is for them, they too, deep down  inside, are afraid we are going to stay this way forever. And our spouses notice things we can't see that of course, differ from how we actually feel.

 

Everybody, there is a nice sun here at the café, so here I am, soaking it up.

 

Have a better day everyone.  Heal away. 

 

 

Lovely to hear from you Sky. You have done so well with this transition and I totally understand the 'sick energy'

and the fighting through. We will make it though......... all the way to the finishing line. hope you enjoyed the autumn sun in the cafe. that actually sound really nice. 

[[...]]

HH  it is amazing to hear how you are doing and I cannot imagine anyone not being encouraged by your recovery. It gives us something to look forward toand to give us hope that our wellness is there waiting for us. I can totally relate to enjoying your daughters events now. It's my daughters 18th next week and all I want is to be ok for her day. It's not asking much is it? Poor kids they have seen so much suffering from their once fun loving Mothers. I'm happy that yours have theirs back   

[[Sk...]]

Hi Sky ... good morning ... you are sounding good ... do I detect a little bounce? ... or is Drew handing out chipper-brownies? ... 

 

Have a good day ... I insist ... 

 

Chipper brownies galore ! 

 

It's great to hear that important newspapers and magazines are talking about benzo wd.

 

It's a first step, it will take a long time, but it's encouraging.

 

It's all in our head !

 

But if it's the head the injured part it's like telling someone who has broken is leg, oh it's all in your leg.

 

ONly that in our case, it discredits us.

 

One step at a time, rome wasn't built in a day.

 

Marj, you too get the sick energy ? Good to know I am not alone in this.

 

Yesterday, mr SKy put in an extra onion in the food, and I had the W-O-R-S- T benzo belly .

 

Insane !

 

Ok, have to run, I have a lesson in ... now !

 

THe sun was great today, I really soaked it up !

 

Bye !

[[...]]

Peace, I get DR on and off. Every morning when I'm walking down the coridoor at work, it's like I'm on another planet.

 

 

I can honestly say this has been one of the hardest weeks of non stop wall to wall awfulness. It's calmed a bit but it's now like I daren't look over my shoulder.

 

Hope everyone else is doing ok

 

Jenn, If you look back on the 18 -24 thread you can find posts that I made regarding my life saving chats with the Bristol TP. I hope you find them helpful. I understand how you compare what you used to do with your kids and what you are able to do at the moment. You will go back to being the you, the true you. 

[[No...]]

Sky ... so that's it ... it's all in my leg ... no wonder I couldn't find it ... 

 

Have a good weekend ... 

[[Gr...]]

Antidepressant Paxil Is Unsafe for Teenagers, New Analysis Says

 

By BENEDICT CAREYSEPT. 16, 2015

 

A reanalysis of a 2001 study found that Paxil, the antidepressant, is not safe for teenagers. Credit Joe Raedle/Getty Images

 

 

Cheryl Eckard, center, with her lawyers Lesley Ann Skillen and Neil Getnick on Tuesday.

 

 

Study Advises Against Drugs For Children In Depression

 

Fourteen years ago, a leading drug maker published a study showing that the antidepressant Paxil was safe and effective for teenagers. On Wednesday, a major medical journal posted a new analysis of the same data concluding that the opposite is true.

 

That study — featured prominently by the journal BMJ — is a clear break from scientific custom and reflects a new era in scientific publishing, some experts said, opening the way for journals to post multiple interpretations of the same experiment. It comes at a time of self-examination across science — retractions are at an all-time high; recent cases of fraud have shaken fields as diverse as anesthesia and political science; and earlier this month researchers reported that less than half of a sample of psychology papers held up.

 

 

“This paper is alarming, but its existence is a good thing,” said Brian Nosek, a professor of psychology at the University of Virginia, who was not involved in either the original study or the reanalysis. “It signals that the community is waking up, checking its work and doing what science is supposed to do — self-correct.”

 

this was from the NY Times.  Maybe things are starting to change.

 

This is awesome. Because if nothing else, we at least deserve the truth. I hope things are changing. With our access to information it's got to be harder to lie to the public. Tell us the truth!

 

Lots of people are seeing these articles. My sister sent me a link to this very one. I'm glad it's coming at her from sources other than me.

 

Peace2

 

Absolutely!  The problem is if they only have to pay a $2 B fine and they're making 18 B

 

Right. But the idea is that as more people get savvy, share there true and horrific experiences with all these drugs, people will hopefully take less. So, I'm not putting much faith in the FDA or the drug industry. It's the media that I'm looking to at the moment to move the truth along.

Fingers Crossed.

Peace2

 

 

When The New York Times runs two different articles I. Two days and they are in the "most emailed" part of the online section something is changing.  I'm not saying things will change right away but the pendulum has started to swing in our direction. My dad even commented to me on how many things I've been telling him were listed in the articles.  We atleast may no longer be "the crazy ones"

 

Drew, I was thinking the same thing.  and once these lawyers start winning big verdicts...and states realize that they're paying, through Medicaid, a fortune...and as Peace said, as people get savvy and start to question... maybe.  let's hope

 

but this happened in the 70s, I think.  Valium got a lot of bad press.  it was making a fortune, and The Times printed an article about the dangers of valium.  doctors didn't want to prescribe it.  Big Pharma's response?  reinvent the wheel.  change a couple of molecules, and Xanax was born.  When I got my first Xanax prescription, I asked the doctor was it addictive.  and she said no, it was brand new, not like Valium at all.

 

As long as we go to the doctor expecting to be fixed with a pill, we are complicit.  If we believe there's a maintenance type of drug that can change who we are, how we feel, or if we're looking for a happy pill, better living through chemistry, then it's deja vu all over again.

 

on a positive note, this is the age of information.  we don't have to believe what a doctor says, or the commercial for the drug we see on TV.  we can check it out ourselves.  and should.  Love my anecdotal evidence. 

[[Co...]]

Hi buddies....wow is this thread blooming!....Lots of new voices...keeps things helpful and informative.

    Green.  Thank you so much for your post regarding Paxil....it is so disgusting that medications can get 'fast tracked' ( through corrupt money and fraudulent studies). Ten years later , after lives have been ruined, and patients have been used like lab rats we find out the true dangers and a meaningless warning label is slapped on the packaging....which doctors pay no attention to what so ever.

    I just read ( sorry I can't find the site again) an article regarding I uprofens. It is now surfacing that ibuprofen carries significant heart health risk. 30% risk of a heart event or stroke in those who do not have heart issues, as much as a 50% increase in risk to people who do have heart issues. The manufacturers of these medications have known of the risk increase for years. Remember Vioxx ...a clinical ibuprofen ( NSAID).  It was taken off the market years ago while Ibuprofen and NSAIDS in general continued to be prescribed ....and even worse , remained on the otc shelves. It became as much of a part of our every day life as Cheerios and milk. There are shelves of about 50 different ibuprofen formularies in  every grocery. I am sure they will remain there in spite of the increased risk that we are now, years and years later ( I think NSAIDS  first came on the market about 30 years ago).  Well, pardon the rant. It just makes me crazed that huge money gained by Big Pharma trumps the safety of patients.

    Well, I finally started feeling better...took awhile.  I have been lurking but not feeling energy enough to follow and post. I emerged with at least an 80% baseline still consistent. I am convinced that it was the flu.  My doctor practically stood on his head trying to convince me to get a pneumonia vax ...and truth be told, I probably should but I am scared to death to have it. I have never had a flu vax...True to my health fears I am now worrying about flu, pneumonia and menningitis...I have never given these particular illnesses much though ( heart attacks and strokes took up all the breathing space inside my head for health fears). .Now after a lecture from my doctor regarding old people and thier high risk for pneumonia and flu I have new health fears to keep me company at 3am...but my RN  friend has reminded me that the old people my doctor is talking about are really old and usually have other health issues....whew...maybe I can put those health fears off for another 20 years..  or at least until 3am this morning.

    For all the newbies on the thread... Keep holding on. It does get better....gradually and with a 'stutter' pattern...but it continues to get better. I am at 22.5 months off . Today I was just remembering that at last Halloween I was filled with dread and anxiwty about kids ringing my bell and ' being ready' for them. I ended up turning off my porch light and house lights and hiding in my bedroom to avoid answering the door. ...This year I am totally looking forward to it ...just like I always looked forward to it before benzos. I am planning a trip to the orchards with my grandsons with no thought to anxiwty or agoraphobia what so ever.  I am taking my oldest grandson out shopping for his bd tomorrow...also without any thought to anxiety or agoraphobia. As recently as 5 months ago I took my middle grandson out for his bd and had issues with head pressure and anxiety...I guess what I am saying is simply this. ..My greatest and most reliable healing has happened in the last 2 months... I feel at least 85%  healed even following a week of flu. When the flu lifted my baseline was still there. I still have  sx.  excepting for health fear the remaining sx are : some insomnia that I am able to tolerate and mild manageable d/r and head pressure. If sx are present they usually crop up in the morning and lift within an hour or 2 of being up. My biggest challenge is still health fear, but I am getting fewer physical sx like panic and intense anxiety to trigger them ..  I feel close to complete healing....but am anticipating close to anot her year of taking my time to re-enter the world fully. . That is just an individual preference. .Getting in the water one toe at a time has always been my style....wouldn't work for other buddies who are healing and chomping at the bit. ..ready ready ready (  wish I was a little more like that). 

    Keep it going 18 -24 month people...it can be a tough 6 months of healing, but many people who have shared thier success stories....and many of us in the 22- 26 month people report experiencing very stable healing after that 18- 24 month stretch....thinking of everyone and wishing healing to every single person on this thread......coop

[[so...]]

Coop,

 

Your post made me cry tears of joy.  You have given me hope, Coop, real hope!  I have been in a week long wave.  I don't get windows, so my waves are tsunamis that throw me back into the acute phase intensity.  I want to believe I will get better one day.  I've stopped focusing on how long I've been at this and I'm trying desperately to hold onto the thoughts that "today is not as bad as six months ago," but it's so so hard. 

 

All the compassion and empathy on this thread has kept me from drowning on many many occasions.  I am so very grateful to all of you for saving my life.  God bless you all!  You are angels in my eyes.

 

Love, Sofa

[[Co...]]

Sofa....you are going to get through this. I have had some windows, but usually not more than 24-48 hours long. My real improvement has been on my baseline....in between waves. My improvement was more gradual than abrupt. I honestly did not see reliable improvement until month 21...maybe a few weeks sooner, but it was the middle to end of month 21 that I really knew that I was on my way ....still crossing my fingers. ....I know how hard and endless it is. ..time truly is the healer. Just keep going....listen to your body...don't push too hard, but try to do what you can and don't beat yourself up for the things you can't do....come to the group as often as you need support....and give support when you can.

    I am so sorry you are having tough times..  it won't always be like this.....thinking of you.....coop

[[No...]]

Hey Coop ... good to see you ... 2 AM here ... I shut down early last night and slept for 5 hours ... ready to slay some dragons ... but they all seem to be sleeping ... silly dragons ...

 

Missed your voice here ...

 

Hope you have a good weekend ... 

 

 

[[No...]]

Sofa ... I have had one "window" during all of this process ... a year ago last August, after acute I had a 10 day window ... then moved into what I call the "doldrums" ... a long, long stretch of days where I moved in and out of waves ... and nothing ever felt "effortless" ...

 

And things, mostly unnoticed by me, gradually improved and continue to do so ... emerging from last winter I recognized "clarity" had returned and that was a big milestone for me ... that helped reassure me that things do get better, however slowly for some of us ...

 

We put in our days, doing the best we can, and some days not doing much at all ... we will all heal in time ... and you will too ... 

[[Ko...]]

Hi Buddies,

 

Thanks for the feedback on flu shots. I won't be getting one this year. I'll just wash my hands a lot more.

 

Coop - so glad you're over the flu and getting back to normal, whatever that is.

 

Green & drew - I hope you're right and people will start paying attention the stuff the Pharma Mafia gets away with. I think instead of fining them they should throw some people in jail. That would put a stop to their cheating. 

 

I'm the same. Still suffering with the burning legs which equals no sleep. Gotta get better soon.

 

Nova - you're doing a great job holding the thread together, even though you're grumpy.

 

 

 

[[No...]]

Insomnia ... when ... 3 out of 4 voices in my head want to sleep ... the other wants to know if penguins have knees ... 

[[No...]]

Korbe ... yep ... got to get better soon ... and it will ... 

[[Co...]]

Nova....yep, life in the 3am time zone ...me too. It's frustrating, but tolerable. It seems to be a hanging on long endurance sx, but for me, thankfully not ruining my life...What do you do when you are awake at 2am?  I usually get up for a little while, watch some mind numbing sit com , talk to the dog, read on the net .  I am usually able to go back to sleep , if only dozing on and off..

    How is the farmers market project going along?.  I am starting to get nervous about my first day of volunteering in Oct. but it is normal nervousness not the black dread and mind scrambling anxiety. So much better.

    We are definitely better Nova.......Thank you so much for keeping this thread put together. You have been such a voice of support, inspiration, knowledge and humor for these long 2 years. You are a dear friend and I wouldn't have made it through without your support. You saved me from more than one trip to er in the middle of the night....those nights you stayed on the thread with me through the night got me through some of my toughest panics..  I love it that this thread is in your care...

    I am off to get the dog out and get ready to take my grandson out for his bd.. 

      Have a very good day Nova.....Wishing everyone a better day..  .coop

[[Lo...]]

Although I'm not quite 17 months off yet I was wondering if there was going to be a group for people beyond 18 months mark. I'm sorry that a few of us are still here with symptoms I am praying that this next era will bring tons of healing where we are going to be completely symptom free. We all deserve it. Thank you for starting the group that I'm going to jump back over to the other one since I'm not quiet 17 months yet. But I will check in here time time again. Take care.

[[No...]]

LM ... the other group "12-18" seems to have gone a little quiet since we moved over here ... you are certainly welcome to be here ... we don't much pay attention to numbers anymore ...

 

We came over here as a group, I am sure others will pick up the other thread in time ...

 

Be Well ...

[[Lo...]]

LM ... the other group "12-18" seems to have gone a little quiet since we moved over here ... you are certainly welcome to be here ... we don't much pay attention to numbers anymore ...

 

We came over here as a group, I am sure others will pick up the other thread in time ...

 

Be Well ...

 

Oh I gotcha!!! Well that thread can be for those who are 1 year off and they can go from there. I really didn't think this benzo w/d crap would last this long. The vestibular issues is a nightmare.

 

Praying it ends soon for all of us!

[[No...]]

Coop ... what do we do at 2 AM? ... for me, the same thing I do at any other AM or PM ... whatever suits my fancy ...

 

If it is dark, turn on a light or two since I don't sleep with a night light anymore ... if it is light out, go around and open all the curtains ... see if the blue jays have made a mess on the balcony looking for the peanuts they bury in the pots and tubs ...

 

BTW ... I stumbled upon a solution to pigeons in the summer ... or at least I believe I have ... and whatever I believe has to be true, doesn't it? ...

 

We grow several pots of ornamental grasses ... some are the long wavy kind and many coloured ... seems the pigeons do not like them moving around ... this makes two summers and no pigeons ... last year they did not come back until the grasses died back in early winter ...

 

No firm date yet on the market "job" ... it will happen eventually ... and I am starting the Tai Chi group tomorrow ... onward we go ...

 

Had a nap after the market and feel like yuk ... another little "toxic" event ... oh goodie ...

 

You will "slide" into the classroom stuff in October ... it is time ... and if you feel a little rough around the edges for a while, what the heck, you will be doing something you care about ...

 

Have a good weekend ... 

[[No...]]

LM ... I went with the thought things would take 18-24 months after taper to settle down ... I really had no idea what to expect so I went with the consensus from the UK ... Ashton and the Project folks in the UK, back four years ago ... 

 

For me, this seems to be panning out ... no longer expect to be 100% by an particular date ... just know that I will get there in due time ...

 

The healing formula seems to be working ... get off the drug, stay off the drug, and heal ...

 

My "dynamic" symptoms seem to have passed ... now it is mostly the lingering lousies ... not a window, not a wave ... just a way stop along the path ...

 

We will all getter better ... it just seems to take a while for some of us ... 

[[...]]

Sofa, I understand your frustration and pain. I don't get windows either (or hardly), just periods where things are not as bad. Apparently it's not unusual to not have windows. When sx are unrelenting it is so hard. We will get through this somehow.

 

Coop, it's so good to have you back and lovely to hear you are feeling better from the flu and it has not set you back. It's not been the same without you especially as it's a new group. It felt a bit unnerving for me initially as change makes me wobble somewhat at the moment. Just this stupid wd, it really batters our confidence and self esteem. I am not a selfish type but I'm comforted by your presence here. Can't wait for the time when we are all done with this.

 

Mrs, thankyou for your update and encouragement. Much needed right now. Wishing you continued healing

 

 

I so wish I could post something personally good. I seem to have been in the pits for ages now and any breaks I get are very short lived. Today I pushed myself to go to a University open day with my daughter. She said not to worry if I couldn't take her and she would get the train. I'm so sick of crying off things especially if it's something like this. I decided I would go come hell or high water and if I could have benzo flu the previous night and get to work then I could do this. Well I spent the day which has been such a beautiful sunny day in total dp, head and neck pressure like I've never had, felt like I was walking on a trampoline and fatigue with breathing problems. The benzo beast had given me 2 loaded barrels of the biggest shot gun. I really thought as the day went on things would surely lift. No, not to be and by the time we were coming home, I felt so confused and foggy I went the wrong way 3 times which then resulted in tears all the way back and now I'm just p!ssed off. I do not want to be this person and I don't want my kids to think this is me now. I suppose it's like Sky said, that spouses worry we will stay like this. With me it's my kids and I hate that they have to deal with me like this. It's my daughters 18th birthday next week so I am praying for some relief if not so I can make her a cake, then for her to have a happy mum on her milestone birthday. This is the stinkiest bag of poop ever........... No one should have to live like this.

 

I wish each and every one of you speedy healing and I'm sorry for venting with such length 

[[...]]

Yes LM come on over to our house, we're having a party!!!!

 

I too am between 17 and 18 months so it doesn't matter. It's the place to be and I would be lost without this lot 

[[No...]]

Marj ... good description ... walking on a trampoline ...

 

Your hard days will pass ... and even though the university trip wasn't a blessed ray of sunshine, you did go ... and made it back ...

 

You will have those blessed days again ...