[Mi...] Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 Hello, Everyone! My stomach issues have me in a very bad downward spiral! Through out all of this I have had horrendous reflux ect... And, I am not one to rush to the Doctor, I actually dread the doctor! I never did before but that's a whole other story! My big problem is this feels a lot worse than it has! I have extreme pain on and off all over from my belly button to my rib cage! Nausea which comes and goes and is new, and this feeling that I could pop my belly with a pin and fly away! :'(. The only comfort I have is that my whole body also hurts my head is foggy again ect.... So I am guessing I am in a big wave! But the what ifs are bringing me way way down! My anxiety is at the limit of near total nervous breakdown mode! My shoulder actually hurts as I am typing this! I was doing much much better last wk! I actually remember saying my stomach is better than ever! I am definitely in a big wave bigger than I have seen since May/ early June,! But this stomach stuff has me playing the what if it's this what if it's that! If I nap am I going to wake up kinda deal! So not good! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[dr...] Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 Jen, sending healing thoughts. I've only had a several week bout w benzo belly but it was horrendous. Some here may have some suggestions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[No...] Posted September 20, 2015 Author Share Posted September 20, 2015 Jen ... it may well be benzo/stress related ... wave stress ... I have used an otc acid reducer - Rantidine ... with no ill effects ... usually helped with the reflux stuff ... the pain is likely inflammation of the guts ... It will pass, as you know ... and it can be a really nasty event ... Also ginger tea is often helpful for me ... There is a concern that if the hard reflux persists is may cause further problems ... however, I have not heard of that too often ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[No...] Posted September 20, 2015 Author Share Posted September 20, 2015 Drew ... keep that up and you will need new shoes ... sounds like a hot tub evening ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Mi...] Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 Thanks Drew! I am usually a much stronger person throughout these symptom flare ups but when I get symptoms that are a bit different or more intense than I have experienced they do me in! May I dealt with such bad vertigo the worse I have ever had way more than the everyday brain fog I was used to! Had it for almost a month! Right around flower planting time here in MInnesota! I remember it well because at 33 yrs old every time I would bend over to plant or dig when I stood up straight I would literally almost black out! I came to the conclusion of course I had something very wrong and it had to be more than WD! I worked up the courage or I guess I didn't, my hubby made me a doctor apt with some random doctor for a referral to a Neurologist. Lol! So I would have peace of mind! Of course seeing a specialist takes months so made the apt. Three weeks before I was suppose to go poof cleared up completely and haven't had any problems until now. So I never went! Just like during Acute WD I had to go see a Cardiologist for heart palps I actually did keep that one and of course everything was excellent! He was actually the first medical professional that looked at me and said benzos are one of the most horrific drugs there are out there! Instead of writing me off as a crazy! Like the throat doctor did when I thought my throat was closing! (I am actually starting to laugh at myself right now ) So anyways I have been labeled the town nut job at our local clinic and hospital! So I really truly am holding on to hope that this stomach stuff calms down! Going into my clinic triggers major panic and I don't want to put myself into another merry go round with doctors! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[No...] Posted September 20, 2015 Author Share Posted September 20, 2015 Went to my Tai Chi group this afternoon ... survived an hour and half moderate bit of work ... no ill effects, did not expect any energy storms, but hey, you never know ... It has been six years since I have moved that intensely ... and it was good to see that the body memory is intact ... balance is all shot but that is okay ... that too will return ... So ... time to get to work on something else ... routine has been such a loss during this process ... good to know that it can get re-configured ... Hope we all have a decent week ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Mi...] Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 That's wonderful Nova! I started Chi Kong? I think that's how you spell it? Along with meditation ect... During this process. I think it's great! The one positive I have had through out this journey is learning more natural ways to everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Mi...] Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 Nova, you sound to be in a very good place right now! Congrats Can I ask you how long it took you to feel the whole process turn around a little bit? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[No...] Posted September 20, 2015 Author Share Posted September 20, 2015 Jen ... hmmm ... after I finished my taper I had about a five month holiday ... felt beat up but pretty good, thought that was all there was to it ... then acute hit and that lasted about five moths or so ... that ended with a10 day clear as a bell window ... the only one I have had ... then the next long, long stretch of "doldrums" ... which lasted maybe nine months or so ... a time of mostly medium grade waves and some off and on okay times ... Last May I recognized that clarity had returned ... completely ... and stayed ... and the doldrums have gradually diminished ... still feel kind of lousy sometimes ... but nothing very dynamic ... No more bouts of benzo belly, no more anxiety/panic stuff, and the head pressure stuff is mostly gone most days ... and my stress response has self-corrected ... nothing I did ... just fixed itself ... The next step is to get my body back to some semblance of normal functioning ... sometimes I feel wasted away and have issues with stamina ... but hey, if you have spent most of the last six years on your butt that should be no surprise ... Qigong has many spellings ... glad you are finding the practice helpful ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[dr...] Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 Jen-as my therapist said everything I experience in the first two years unless bleeding out of an orifice is to be expected as withdrawal. It is my new normal. That even includes the "out of left field" stuff that scares the hell out of us. Nova-so proud of you sir! Okay...just meditated. Fiance checked on me because my breathing was so loud. I laughed as I explained it's because my muscles are so damn tight I have to breathe through the pain. Now it's time to say goodbye to the father in law to be until the wedding. I done good if I say so myself. Several meals out, good long chats w him, and a hot ass hike today. Fiance thanked me. That is all....onward Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Mi...] Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 Thanks Nova and Drew! I feel a bit calmer! I was doing so much better! But I am going to try to accept this for what it is OR at least try too! I am holding on to hope! I have read so many experiences and sounds like most get hit real bad with a massive end wave and then find a clarity after that has been there best so far! So I am going to buckle up and ride this one out as calmly as I possibly can! And focus on some real calm waters and sunny days to come! I am refusing to drown in this wave! you guys are so kind! I sure wish I would have found this group earlier on! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Mi...] Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 Drew you are lucky to have found a therapist who knows there stuff! I have tried two different ones they look at me like I am crazy and there is NO WAY WD can last longer than 6 months! Lol, as well as any doc I have seen other than my naturopath! Idk if we are truly 100 steps behind every where else in the US or If it's just a Minnesota thing? No idea but I sometimes feel more educated than the medical professionals I see! Don't get me wrong they are great if there is a emergency, science has come along way and surgeons seem to know there stuff! :tickedoff: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[No...] Posted September 20, 2015 Author Share Posted September 20, 2015 Jen ... one go slow technique ... and a distraction as well ... When things get or got really hot and heavy I would often use this ... and ... doesn't fix anything ... just has the possibility of getting one to another place for a while ... Everything is done with intention and exaggerated ... and done really slow ... Go to the kitchen or wherever you make tea ... walk there slowly, with the intention of making tea ... real slow ... look around the kitchen ... take in as much of it as you can ... real slow ... as if you are seeing it for the first time ... Find the kettle ... don't pick it up, just look at it ... at its kettle-ness ... take the kettle to the sink, turn on the water so it runs rather slowly, listen to the water ... listen as if you have never heard this water before ... slowly fill the kettle ... feel it getting heavier ... move the kettle to the stove ... turn on the stove and stay right there ... listen for the changes in the sounds as the water in the kettle heats ... when the water is ready ... locate your teapot ... again, don't pick it up ... just look at it as if for the first time ... colour, shape, and so on ... then find the tea ... slowly ... Smell the tea bag ... you have never smelled this tea bag before ... place the bag in the teapot and fill with water ... all the while listening for the sound of everything you are doing ... When the tea it ready smell the aroma from the pot ... slowly ... find your cup and again examine the cup as if for the first time ... pour some tea ... feel the warmth in the cup, smell this aroma ... sit with it for a while without drinking ... watching the teacup and its contents ... then sip a little of the tea ... taste it as if for the first time ... slowly, slowly finish the tea ... There is nothing else in the universe going on except your preparing and enjoying this cup of tea ... slowly, slowly, slowly ... Doing this, you can move out of the sensations that are occurring in your body and move into the sensations of making and drinking tea ... literally changing the channel ... One can do this with anything ... utter mindfulness ... all attention on the task and only the task ... and experiencing the sensations of the task ... Once again, doesn't fix anything ... and it may just give a little respite from the storms ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[dr...] Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 Drew you are lucky to have found a therapist who knows there stuff! I have tried two different ones they look at me like I am crazy and there is NO WAY WD can last longer than 6 months! Lol, as well as any doc I have seen other than my naturopath! Idk if we are truly 100 steps behind every where else in the US or If it's just a Minnesota thing? No idea but I sometimes feel more educated than the medical professionals I see! Don't get me wrong they are great if there is a emergency, science has come along way and surgeons seem to know there stuff! :tickedoff: Jen...I'm in SF. They are the same here. My therapist and I have agreed to disagree on many subjects. He does believe I'm still having issues from the drugs but he still thinks my underlying issues cause most of it. My mission is to prove him and everyone else wrong Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Mi...] Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 Wow Nova, thank you I will be definitely be trying this! I don't think I have been mindful for a long long time! Drew, Oh how I wish I was a fly on the wall the day you sooooo prove him wrong! Thanks Again you guys Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[pe...] Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 Drew you are lucky to have found a therapist who knows there stuff! I have tried two different ones they look at me like I am crazy and there is NO WAY WD can last longer than 6 months! Lol, as well as any doc I have seen other than my naturopath! Idk if we are truly 100 steps behind every where else in the US or If it's just a Minnesota thing? No idea but I sometimes feel more educated than the medical professionals I see! Don't get me wrong they are great if there is a emergency, science has come along way and surgeons seem to know there stuff! :tickedoff: I'm a Minnesota girl and I've found two doctors who are pretty sure this is all from the drugs and have advised me to never take any psychoactive med again! You're doing great. It's going to get better and better and better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[pe...] Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 Drew- rocked it with the father-in-law! That is such great news. Nova- back at tai chi. That sounds right. Progress. Hard won. Undeniable progress. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Mi...] Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 Wow Peace, that's amazing I obviously have been to the wrong docs! Good to know there are a few good ones! I will have to keep my eyes open! I am in Central MN the biggest town in my area is Buffalo! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[No...] Posted September 21, 2015 Author Share Posted September 21, 2015 Good Morning ... wow ... is Fall ever in the air around here ... my calendar says it arrives Wednesday ... nice coincidence ... I finish 22 months on Wednesday and get into the last month of two years on this wagon ... Hanging out today .... tidying some things up ... freezing more veggies ... tomorrow I am going to a workshop around Nordic pole walking and some of the trails around our city ... should be fun ... meet some more new folks ... She who must be obeyed has returned to work ... she is quite happy and a little smug ... she no longer needs her glasses except for computer work and reading ... lucky her ... something about there is now only one blind old fart around the place ... Hope folks are having a good day ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[ma...] Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 Jen...I'm in SF. They are the same here. My therapist and I have agreed to disagree on many subjects. He does believe I'm still having issues from the drugs but he still thinks my underlying issues cause most of it. My mission is to prove him and everyone else wrongDrew I get so tired of hearing the underlying issues crap. I think everyone has underlying issues so that is just a load of bull. The thing that Doctors and Therapists don't seem to understand is that we used to be able to deal with most of the underlying issues before benzos just like they do. Certainly everyone has anxiety, some depression, aches and pains, etc. However, I do not think most people have to deal with the firestorm of issues we seem to get on a daily basis. Now we have no choice but to learn how to live with the aftermath of benzo hell until our minds and bodies can heal and adjust enough to the changes that these meds bring on. I gave up on getting them to acknowledge the diffence. Noone can understand this unless they have been through it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Mi...] Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 Martin, well said Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[dr...] Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 Jen...I'm in SF. They are the same here. My therapist and I have agreed to disagree on many subjects. He does believe I'm still having issues from the drugs but he still thinks my underlying issues cause most of it. My mission is to prove him and everyone else wrongDrew I get so tired of hearing the underlying issues crap. I think everyone has underlying issues so that is just a load of bull. The thing that Doctors and Therapists don't seem to understand is that we used to be able to deal with most of the underlying issues before benzos just like they do. Certainly everyone has anxiety, some depression, aches and pains, etc. However, I do not think most people have to deal with the firestorm of issues we seem to get on a daily basis. Now we have no choice but to learn how to live with the aftermath of benzo hell until our minds and bodies can heal and adjust enough to the changes that these meds bring on. I gave up on getting them to acknowledge the diffence. Noone can understand this unless they have been through it. the funny thing is I only started seeing him when I was getting killed with anxiety and panic while in tolerance. He never knew me before the drugs were destroying me. Of course at the time I had no idea what was wrong with me but I was getting 3-4 panics a day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[...] Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 I'm looking forward to also prove everyone else wrong too. You know the ones who look at you with disbelief when you try to explain how you are and then go on to moan to you about something insignificant. Ok, some stress yesterday has had effect on my symptoms ie pain, together with the other stuff. Maybe my muscles hurt so much as they were so tight on Saturday. Benzo flu is lingering too. Spoke to Ian Singleton and he said that stress will be making me feel worse, however it will not interfere with healing. My stress response is so bad. Such a difficult journey. Jen, my benzo belly is ridiculous sometimes, not painful just bloated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Sk...] Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 I'm looking forward to also prove everyone else wrong too. You know the ones who look at you with disbelief when you try to explain how you are and then go on to moan to you about something insignificant. Ok, some stress yesterday has had effect on my symptoms ie pain, together with the other stuff. Maybe my muscles hurt so much as they were so tight on Saturday. Benzo flu is lingering too. Spoke to Ian Singleton and he said that stress will be making me feel worse, however it will not interfere with healing. My stress response is so bad. Such a difficult journey. Jen, my benzo belly is ridiculous sometimes, not painful just bloated. Marj, I often worry about stress interfering with my healing, so it's a relief to hear that you were told that by an authority. And benzo belly, arrrgh, don't get me started ! SKype was dowd today so I wasted a whole afternoon, not being able to have lessons and thinking it was my fault. So tired of having to be an Internet beggar ! Today is my bad day. It's been 8 months that this good day/ bad day pattern has been going on, it's insane. YOu start to think that is how things are going to be forever. On one hand, it's good, because the waves don't last too long, but still... Sorry, I read some of the previous posts but without context it's hard to understand what is going on. Nova, you 're doing Tai-chi ? ANd you managed ? That's awesome ! Have to go now, hope to be able to log in soon. I usually come to the cafè with a list of things to do on the Internet and it's all very rushed. Speak soon, take care and keep on healing one day at a time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[dr...] Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 I'm looking forward to also prove everyone else wrong too. You know the ones who look at you with disbelief when you try to explain how you are and then go on to moan to you about something insignificant. Ok, some stress yesterday has had effect on my symptoms ie pain, together with the other stuff. Maybe my muscles hurt so much as they were so tight on Saturday. Benzo flu is lingering too. Spoke to Ian Singleton and he said that stress will be making me feel worse, however it will not interfere with healing. My stress response is so bad. Such a difficult journey. Jen, my benzo belly is ridiculous sometimes, not painful just bloated. Very interesting Ian said stress would not delay healing as that has been on of the great debates on this site along with the best taper method. I had a terrible night's sleep. It was so hot in my house(around 85) and I was just sweating all night. I was already out of it from the super walk in the heat yesterday. I am also sun burned a little on my neck area. Today is cooling down though. My mind was swirling all night as I lay awake but I just meditated a few times and reminded myself my thoughts are almost always worse at night. Low and behold even after all that over exertion, heat, and poor sleep I now feel okay with I look at as a very positive sign. Onward my friends.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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