Polydrugging support group

[[Hi...]]

I donth know why my akathisia comes and goes in waves it probably has to do with the other meds. I know that gabapentin turns excess glutamate into gaba. And in normal synthesis if theres excess gaba then it turns back into glutamate so if my receptors are fried then all this extra gaba is just getting sent back and forth. Its so scary how all this is happening for me its not just terror and st the moment the terror has lifted but ive been becoming so confused and im tired of these severe waves. The nausea is almost constant and the torment and fear are getting so much more consistent it feels like psychosis even when its not the akathisia do you think its a good idea to try to get off the methadone and gabapentin first and then detox the benzos. Im just curious what you would do in a situation i know you arent in my body noone can tell me what to do i just dont know what to do. I feel like i need to go to detox and suffer through it but i been there before two years ago when things were not this bad and there was no methadone it was just benzos. Or should i stay on the gabapentin for a very long time and then taper off thst slowly. That was my original plan and when it came time to stsrt the gabapentin taper thsts when all thst hugecfuge akathisia came and wiped me out it wasn't even physical akathisia at that time it was only mental and it was horrible it kept saying you have to die right now to make it stop but if i go to detox and get off everything while im there i know it will be the worst hell ive ever been in but would it bestabilize me even worse and cause worse damage? Ive been on a stabele steady dose of all these meds now for a year gabapentin for almost three years. And if there is something else going on or a mental illness or a sickness well never be able to figure out what it is because ill be in torment sick deranged suicidal for we both know a very long time. I dont know what to do. This last time i went into the mental hospital and i ctd the gabap

 

[[Hi...]]

Entin not much really happened to me other than sweating and itching and burning and worse vision but they had also stsrted me on 4mg of klonopin a day so idk if it was masking the gabapentin wd or if the methadone was masking it because they upped my dose of that while i was in there a little too and when i got out i was having horrible akathisia and i switched back to the ativan and was still taking halk amg of klonopin a night. A d went to detox a week later so idk. I was only coming off ativan then they decided to keep me on the methadone but then all the psychiatric disorders started coming out and they said it wasnt from benzos withdrawal especially if i had them while i was on benzos. The noises are getting worse

 

[[Co...]]

I don't think there is an easy way out. You will have to taper while in tolerance I think. But if you accept the fact that updosing and cold turkeying won't help maybe it will be easier on you.

 

 

I've been thinking a lot lately. And I think that tapering while I'm in benzo withdrawal is just stupid and not keeping it simple. I avoid alcohol, i avoid caffein, but I do taper and cause massive amounts of adrenaline to go through my body. I really need to stay stable on the seroquel. It's just the way it is. I really hope I will get some relief soon, because it's been 6 weeks since my last cut and in hell.

[[ga...]]

Corsair, are you taking the Seroquel every night for sleep? If so, does it work for sleep? I'm afraid to take it every night but I am desperately in need of a sleep aid.

 

Gard

[[Co...]]

Corsair, are you taking the Seroquel every night for sleep? If so, does it work for sleep? I'm afraid to take it every night but I am desperately in need of a sleep aid.

 

Gard

 

Every night , but I was already on it before cold turkeying my flurazepam, so I cannot say for sure. How long haven't you been sleeping now?

[[ga...]]

My sleep panics started about 2 years ago. I was put on Xanax but I habituated to it quickly. Then I found out the bad news about Xanax. Switched to a different prescriber who crossed me to Librium and put me on the Seroquel to help me sleep while I got off the benzo, kind of the lesser of two evils.

 

I tried the Q 2 nights on and 2 nights off. Couldn't survive. Now two nights on and one night off. Meanwhile, my psychiatrist left. My primary says to take the Q every night and get some consistent sleep and stop yo-yoing on the med. But I'm afraid I will habituate to the Seroquel and then it won't work and then where will I be?

 

So I am wondering if it keeps working for sleep if you take it every night? My sleep disorder its very, very severe. 0-2 hours broken sleep without medication. Had ceased to function and was sitting and staring most of most days because all other sleep meds failed. The pain was unbearable. Couldn't even chew I was so tired. Son made me smoothies to drink. Terrified of ending up back there again. At least I can drag myself through the day and eat now. But I am miserable and can't do therapy, drive, have friends, work. It has been going on so long I am losing hope.

[[Co...]]

I wouldn't yo yo either. Stability is more important for your CNS. Though I wouldn't recommend seroquel generally, because it can cause awful side effects. (diabetes, dystonia, tardive dyskinesia) if you are already taking it, I would suggest going on a stable dose. (but a low dose: 25-50 mgs, anything above that doesn't become more sedating, it becomes more antipsychotic so no need to go higher)

I don't think you would get interdose withdrawal that quickly with this type of med. I can't know for sure of course, it depends entirely on your body. But if you are already taking it , go on a stable dose and only plan on tapering it after your benzo withdrawal is finished. Because that is the pickle I am in. I cannot taper the seroquel because of the benzo PAWS. you can't taper another thing on a fragile CNS.

[[ga...]]

Thanks. Yes, I know skipping days is making me yo-yo because my sleep is inconsistent and the drug is inconsistent. But what I don't know is will I habituate to it if I take it every night? I assume you take it every night for sleep? Does it still work? Or has the sleep effect gotten less or quit?

 

 

[[Co...]]

Thanks. Yes, I know skipping days is making me yo-yo because my sleep is inconsistent and the drug is inconsistent. But what I don't know is will I habituate to it if I take it every night? I assume you take it every night for sleep? Does it still work? Or has the sleep effect gotten less or quit?

 

Yes you will habituate , and yes you will have to withdrawal in a similar way as benzo's. But the question is aren't you already habituated? For me it was after one month of taking it. I cannot taper it. On it I'm in a sort of baseline but I'm never symptomfree, and I never have full nights of sleep.

If you aren't I would never take another drug , because that is what I did and I will probably suffer for many years because of that. But if you are habituated to it, even though you are yo yo ing. Then quitting it could be a mistake. You need to know how long have you been taking it, because I cannot tell from your signature. So I would either get on a stable dose or not take it at all. If you aren't habituated yet than not, but how you are describing it it seems to me that you already have some kind of habituation.

[[ga...]]

Actually what I am trying to ask is does the drug stop working? Maybe the word I mean is tolerant? Do you become tolerant so the Seroquel no longer works? Am I dependent? Yes, probably, but I think I'm not tolerant because I was sleeping almost zero and now I am sleeping 6 hours.

[[Sh...]]

I started an SSRI 2 weeks ago and it definitely made my symptoms worse. Fluvoxemine. I decided it wasn't a good idea once I found out that it can stop the clearance of valium and so it can build up in your system. Therefore sending me backwards on my taper. (My pdoc didn't even know this until I asked him about it...surprise surprise). The bad thing is I'm trying to get off it now and I've barely slept the last 3 days. Heart is pounding out of my chest. And I was only on a minute amount. It's hard to know if it's just  coming off the SSRI or whether it's sent me into a wave. I don't have much choice but to keep pushing until my heart stops pounding hopefully soon.

[[Co...]]

Actually what I am trying to ask is does the drug stop working? Maybe the word I mean is tolerant? Do you become tolerant so the Seroquel no longer works? Am I dependent? Yes, probably, but I think I'm not tolerant because I was sleeping almost zero and now I am sleeping 6 hours.

 

Tolerance does not come so fast with this type of med. It can happen, but much much slower than with benzo's. Because you cannot be on benzo's for more than two weeks and antipsychotics typically they prescribe for at least 6 months. I'm not saying it can't happen, but imo it's probably only after a few years. So go stable. And wait until you are healed before tapering it. Then you should be fine.

[[Co...]]

I started an SSRI 2 weeks ago and it definitely made my symptoms worse. Fluvoxemine. I decided it wasn't a good idea once I found out that it can stop the clearance of valium and so it can build up in your system. Therefore sending me backwards on my taper. (My pdoc didn't even know this until I asked him about it...surprise surprise). The bad thing is I'm trying to get off it now and I've barely slept the last 3 days. Heart is pounding out of my chest. And I was only on a minute amount. It's hard to know if it's just  coming off the SSRI or whether it's sent me into a wave. I don't have much choice but to keep pushing until my heart stops pounding hopefully soon.

 

It's probably both. You get a rebound effect from the taper (you weren't on it so long so you should be fine) but that rebound effect triggers the benzo waves, which makes it really hard.

[[ga...]]

Actually what I am trying to ask is does the drug stop working? Maybe the word I mean is tolerant? Do you become tolerant so the Seroquel no longer works? Am I dependent? Yes, probably, but I think I'm not tolerant because I was sleeping almost zero and now I am sleeping 6 hours.

 

Tolerance does not come so fast with this type of med. It can happen, but much much slower than with benzo's. Because you cannot be on benzo's for more than two weeks and antipsychotics typically they prescribe for at least 6 months. I'm not saying it can't happen, but imo it's probably only after a few years. So go stable. And wait until you are healed before tapering it. Then you should be fine.

 

Really, a few years? I've been doing this 2 nights on 1 night off for a year already. I hate how the Q makes me feel in the morning. Just awful and yet not able to keep sleeping. It can last most of the day. Like my brain is full of mud. The day off gives my brain chance to clear, but then the anxiety is awful.

 

Any idea if I do get tolerant, what on earth would I do? I have no sleep meds left. Most I cannot tolerate. I'm scared to death of ceasing to function and being locked up.

[[Co...]]

Actually what I am trying to ask is does the drug stop working? Maybe the word I mean is tolerant? Do you become tolerant so the Seroquel no longer works? Am I dependent? Yes, probably, but I think I'm not tolerant because I was sleeping almost zero and now I am sleeping 6 hours.

 

Tolerance does not come so fast with this type of med. It can happen, but much much slower than with benzo's. Because you cannot be on benzo's for more than two weeks and antipsychotics typically they prescribe for at least 6 months. I'm not saying it can't happen, but imo it's probably only after a few years. So go stable. And wait until you are healed before tapering it. Then you should be fine.

 

Really, a few years? I've been doing this 2 nights on 1 night off for a year already. I hate how the Q makes me feel in the morning. Just awful and yet not able to keep sleeping. It can last most of the day. Like my brain is full of mud. The day off gives my brain chance to clear, but then the anxiety is awful.

 

Any idea if I do get tolerant, what on earth would I do? I have no sleep meds left. Most I cannot tolerate. I'm scared to death of ceasing to function and being locked up.

 

The only way is through this. You will not be able to get through this without the sleepless nights. But everyone starts sleeping eventually. But you need to stop medicating yourself or you will perpetuate this.

We all had/have our zero nights sleep. But eventually you start sleeping again, first it's maybe 2-3 hours, but after a while you have broken nights where you fall back to sleep and so on. It may feel awful, but it's not lethal. And you will sleep again. If I would not be on the seroquel I can garantee you I would be sleeping now. I feel like it damaged me. I've been in withdrawal roughly 3 years now (the hard withdrawal kind) and some minor withdrawal for ten years now.

I had exactly the same coping techniques as you, trying to take something else for sleep. Searching for harmless meds and herbs. Not trusting that it would return. And that is exactly the reason I'm in this mess for so long now and it will take me a while longer to get out of it. It does not work. Psychotropic meds harm you more than they fix. If you could just let your brain heal, without bringing more trauma to it (with seroquel it's the adrenergic receptors, histamine, serotonin , muscarinic acetylcholine receptor , and dopamine, if I'm not forgetting anything, you can look it up) So of course you would be down regulating all those receptors, while if you are just withdrawing from the benzo, you only have the downregulated GABA receptors.

Don't make the same mistakes I did. You will see that if you accept the insomnia as a part of the healing process you will have an easier time to deal with all of this. But especially when you keep messing with your CNS, you will not get back to natural sleep as fast as you would have without it. Keep it simple, keep it steady, keep it slow.

 

Sleep WILL return. Even the most awful insomnia cases on here had their sleep returning.

[[Co...]]

Damn now i'm back to doubting -_- What if i would taper it more quickly (bigger cuts instead of smaller ones) Because what if it's the effect on my benzo withdrawal that is causing the sx so that if I would go faster it would be equally as hard? Argh. Why is this so hard

As always, I hate being on this. i want to be med free.

[[ga...]]

Actually what I am trying to ask is does the drug stop working? Maybe the word I mean is tolerant? Do you become tolerant so the Seroquel no longer works? Am I dependent? Yes, probably, but I think I'm not tolerant because I was sleeping almost zero and now I am sleeping 6 hours.

 

Tolerance does not come so fast with this type of med. It can happen, but much much slower than with benzo's. Because you cannot be on benzo's for more than two weeks and antipsychotics typically they prescribe for at least 6 months. I'm not saying it can't happen, but imo it's probably only after a few years. So go stable. And wait until you are healed before tapering it. Then you should be fine.

 

Really, a few years? I've been doing this 2 nights on 1 night off for a year already. I hate how the Q makes me feel in the morning. Just awful and yet not able to keep sleeping. It can last most of the day. Like my brain is full of mud. The day off gives my brain chance to clear, but then the anxiety is awful.

 

Any idea if I do get tolerant, what on earth would I do? I have no sleep meds left. Most I cannot tolerate. I'm scared to death of ceasing to function and being locked up.

 

The only way is through this. You will not be able to get through this without the sleepless nights. But everyone starts sleeping eventually. But you need to stop medicating yourself or you will perpetuate this.

We all had/have our zero nights sleep. But eventually you start sleeping again, first it's maybe 2-3 hours, but after a while you have broken nights where you fall back to sleep and so on. It may feel awful, but it's not lethal. And you will sleep again. If I would not be on the seroquel I can garantee you I would be sleeping now. I feel like it damaged me. I've been in withdrawal roughly 3 years now (the hard withdrawal kind) and some minor withdrawal for ten years now.

I had exactly the same coping techniques as you, trying to take something else for sleep. Searching for harmless meds and herbs. Not trusting that it would return. And that is exactly the reason I'm in this mess for so long now and it will take me a while longer to get out of it. It does not work. Psychotropic meds harm you more than they fix. If you could just let your brain heal, without bringing more trauma to it (with seroquel it's the adrenergic receptors, histamine, serotonin , muscarinic acetylcholine receptor , and dopamine, if I'm not forgetting anything, you can look it up) So of course you would be down regulating all those receptors, while if you are just withdrawing from the benzo, you only have the downregulated GABA receptors.

Don't make the same mistakes I did. You will see that if you accept the insomnia as a part of the healing process you will have an easier time to deal with all of this. But especially when you keep messing with your CNS, you will not get back to natural sleep as fast as you would have without it. Keep it simple, keep it steady, keep it slow.

 

Sleep WILL return. Even the most awful insomnia cases on here had their sleep returning.

 

Actually the sleep will not return because it wasn't there in the first place. I have PTSD with severe night panics. Even dosing off briefly gives me a jolt and wake me up. This was before I ever took a single med. I was nonfunctional from not sleeping, sitting and staring and too weak to even chew most days. My son made me smoothies and urged me to drink them. I kept thinking eventually I will be tired enough to sleep, but not so. Nothing but panic after panic all night long. Therapist (who was not a trauma therapist but decided to try to dabble in it on me and made me so much worse) sent me to psych nurse who drugged me up. I guess this is better than where I was because I think they would have locked me up or put me in a nursing home if I had gone on like that. But now I am stuck in drug land and there is no light at the end go the tunnel, because when I get off, the sleep is still not going to be there. Have spoken to a couple of actual trauma therapists in the area who won't touch me because of the drugged up state I'm in. Just trying to figure out how to survive during this long benzo taper and then I don't know what.

[[Co...]]

Actually what I am trying to ask is does the drug stop working? Maybe the word I mean is tolerant? Do you become tolerant so the Seroquel no longer works? Am I dependent? Yes, probably, but I think I'm not tolerant because I was sleeping almost zero and now I am sleeping 6 hours.

 

Tolerance does not come so fast with this type of med. It can happen, but much much slower than with benzo's. Because you cannot be on benzo's for more than two weeks and antipsychotics typically they prescribe for at least 6 months. I'm not saying it can't happen, but imo it's probably only after a few years. So go stable. And wait until you are healed before tapering it. Then you should be fine.

 

Really, a few years? I've been doing this 2 nights on 1 night off for a year already. I hate how the Q makes me feel in the morning. Just awful and yet not able to keep sleeping. It can last most of the day. Like my brain is full of mud. The day off gives my brain chance to clear, but then the anxiety is awful.

 

Any idea if I do get tolerant, what on earth would I do? I have no sleep meds left. Most I cannot tolerate. I'm scared to death of ceasing to function and being locked up.

 

The only way is through this. You will not be able to get through this without the sleepless nights. But everyone starts sleeping eventually. But you need to stop medicating yourself or you will perpetuate this.

We all had/have our zero nights sleep. But eventually you start sleeping again, first it's maybe 2-3 hours, but after a while you have broken nights where you fall back to sleep and so on. It may feel awful, but it's not lethal. And you will sleep again. If I would not be on the seroquel I can garantee you I would be sleeping now. I feel like it damaged me. I've been in withdrawal roughly 3 years now (the hard withdrawal kind) and some minor withdrawal for ten years now.

I had exactly the same coping techniques as you, trying to take something else for sleep. Searching for harmless meds and herbs. Not trusting that it would return. And that is exactly the reason I'm in this mess for so long now and it will take me a while longer to get out of it. It does not work. Psychotropic meds harm you more than they fix. If you could just let your brain heal, without bringing more trauma to it (with seroquel it's the adrenergic receptors, histamine, serotonin , muscarinic acetylcholine receptor , and dopamine, if I'm not forgetting anything, you can look it up) So of course you would be down regulating all those receptors, while if you are just withdrawing from the benzo, you only have the downregulated GABA receptors.

Don't make the same mistakes I did. You will see that if you accept the insomnia as a part of the healing process you will have an easier time to deal with all of this. But especially when you keep messing with your CNS, you will not get back to natural sleep as fast as you would have without it. Keep it simple, keep it steady, keep it slow.

 

Sleep WILL return. Even the most awful insomnia cases on here had their sleep returning.

 

Actually the sleep will not return because it wasn't there in the first place. I have PTSD with severe night panics. Even dosing off briefly gives me a jolt and wake me up. This was before I ever took a single med. I was nonfunctional from not sleeping, sitting and staring and too weak to even chew most days. My son made me smoothies and urged me to drink them. I kept thinking eventually I will be tired enough to sleep, but not so. Nothing but panic after panic all night long. Therapist (who was not a trauma therapist but decided to try to dabble in it on me and made me so much worse) sent me to psych nurse who drugged me up. I guess this is better than where I was because I think they would have locked me up or put me in a nursing home if I had gone on like that. But now I am stuck in drug land and there is no light at the end go the tunnel, because when I get off, the sleep is still not going to be there. Have spoken to a couple of actual trauma therapists in the area who won't touch me because of the drugged up state I'm in. Just trying to figure out how to survive during this long benzo taper and then I don't know what.

 

Sounds very hard! I'm so sorry this happened to you. I had (have? I rather say had) ptsd myself, but the EMDR I got a few months back did help (about 70% I would say) I actually did not mention my drug withdrawal to the specialist, I know they say you can't do it, but yeah. I did it anyway.

Then you should go on a stable dosage, and try to get some decent therapy in the meanwhile. Learn as much coping techniques as you can. Breathing therapy was also pretty helpful to me, in combination with the other therapies. (EMDR, CBT,..)

[[ga...]]

but you're off of benzos, aren't you? i'm still stuck on them. i can't even find someone who will see me for trauma therapy while on benzos. they say go to detox and then come back.

[[Hi...]]

Im really really sick also idk whats from my liver and kidneys and othe problems but my issues are too mssive to taper anything i cannot survive outpatient i been in bed sleeping 18 hours a day unable to get up puking and just bad psychotic torment you cant imagine for months its worse than ct and now the akathisia coming back i have nowhere to go i cant take care of myself while i tapering the pills are destroying me and to taper off all this forvten years is absolutely rediculous when they are making me so bsd and i have no reason tonpush forward i want to get better but i cant get worse you understand? Anybody the akathisia is severe brain flipping is absolute the depression is alive it wants me dead im about to start pacing town asking strangers for help and pulling hair cant lay down cant walk soul escaping my body

[[Sh...]]

I've just stopped my SSRI that i'd started for 2 weeks last night. Feel rat shit. Heart has been pounding non stop and it's flared up my V withdrawal I'm guessing. The only way through is to stay off it though I guess. I didn't just jump off. I halfed my dose for a few days etc...Didn't really want to be polydrugged in the end.

[Guest [Jo...]]

Im really really sick also idk whats from my liver and kidneys and othe problems but my issues are too mssive to taper anything i cannot survive outpatient i been in bed sleeping 18 hours a day unable to get up puking and just bad psychotic torment you cant imagine for months its worse than ct and now the akathisia coming back i have nowhere to go i cant take care of myself while i tapering the pills are destroying me and to taper off all this forvten years is absolutely rediculous when they are making me so bsd and i have no reason tonpush forward i want to get better but i cant get worse you understand? Anybody the akathisia is severe brain flipping is absolute the depression is alive it wants me dead im about to start pacing town asking strangers for help and pulling hair cant lay down cant walk soul escaping my body

I know it's not much but I just wanted to give you a BIG hug.

[[Co...]]

The last few weeks I've been completely non functional. Too brain fogged to even take my pills , akathesia but exhausted. I don't know what to do.

[[Da...]]

I'm so sorry to hear that you haven't been doing well Corsair. I really appreciate all your posts and your fighting spirit through all of this nonsense. Hang in there my friend. It's a silly cliche I know but hang in there and this will get better. It freaking has to!! Take care

Dave 86

[[Hi...]]

I feel you corsair is your akathisia like chemical torment in your mind like you need to get emerency help or is it like you cant sit still have to pace