Gratitude Support Group

[[Co...]]

I'm grateful for the calmness of the night where I live, and the visibility of the moon. It means the sun is still shining.

[[MT...]]

That's a good one CC. It sure can seem like the sun has left forever so looking for evidence of it's existence, both literally and metaphorically is soothing.

 

I'm thankful for a manageable day at work and having the rest of the week off.

[[ra...]]

I am grateful to have reached 15 months of benzo freedom. I am grateful for the bits of my healthy brain that are slowly, slowly coming back to me. I am grateful for the pumpkin pie that I enjoyed last week. I am grateful for my new therapist, who has been really good for me so far. I am grateful for BenzoBuddies, whose courage inspires me and whose understanding keeps me going.

 

(MTfan, I just noticed your Galaxy Quest quote. Awesome! I absolutely love that movie!! I even have a "Vox Communicator" and "Ion Nebulizer."  )

[[In...]]

I am grateful I can sleep again...I am grateful for this inspiring thread...for the cold rain and warm swimming pool that I am about to go swim slowly in.

 

I am grateful for the gingerbread I was able to savor and enjoy again that I baked yesterday, and that my parents and daughter all seemed to savor it as much as I did.

 

I am grateful I could appreciate the PBS special about Einstein last week, which taught me about Lise Meitner....and for all the reading I did about her and shared with my family afterwards. 

 

I am so grateful my friend who survived both leukemia and 4 weeks of Ativan use told me about the book The Emperor of All Maladies: A Biography of Cancer by Siddhartha Mukherjee...it really is a page turner and so beautifully written, and full of hope, promise and life. 

 

I am glad I can read again, and glad that I no longer mind being a slow reader. 

 

Wow, I am glad I have so many things I am so expressly grateful for right now, when this time last year I had none, and was just trying to endure minute upon excruciating minute of pain and anxiety.

 

I hope everyone reading this thread will have small or large gratitudes, and if you have none right now, that is ok.  I was there too, and look where I am now.  I still have tinnitus and burning pains and depersonalization, but those are in the background compared to what I am grateful for...whereas before they were so terrible, I could not be grateful for anything.  Day by day, month by month, and year by year we will improve....

 

 

[[ra...]]

Thank you for so many beautiful & encouraging thoughts, Independence! I hope you keep having more and more things to be grateful for.

[[In...]]

  thank you Rapunzel Blue! It is neat that someone read my post right away...and of course I am grateful for your kind thoughts...I hope they nourish and warm you as much as they do me, and we will continue to pass them along to the people we interact with today... 

[[MT...]]

Rapunzel, nice going making it 15 months. What an accomplishment! Independence, I'm thrilled you're sleeping and so glad you're sharing that with us.

 

Despite no sleep last night my day today has been OK. My walk was challenging but peaceful and I've been able to get things done. I'm thankful I don't feel that terror all of the time like the first months and am overall much calmer. I'm incredibly thankful for a couple of friends who have stuck by me.

[[ra...]]

Thanks so much, MT.    Hugs and love to you too, Independence! 

 

Friends who stick with you through this process are so, so precious. I have one in particular I'm thinking of and I am incredibly grateful for her. I enjoy time with her even if I'm doing badly, and she helps me remember that everything isn't lost.

 

I'm grateful that today is a little less dismal than yesterday, not QUITE as grey and rainy.

 

I am thankful to not be feeling terror right now, too. Every time I get through another wave, it is a reminder that I am strong and this won't control me forever.

[[MT...]]

I'm incredibly thankful that last night I got a decent amount of sleep (with amitriptyline) and today at work I felt like 2/3 of a normal person (a tired one with cog fog and paresthesias but still, much better than my wd norm) and it was easier. Just to not feel like I'm dying is remarkable.

 

Not giving up. Not surrendering. But whimpering is still an option as needed.

[Guest [Ne...]]

I am grateful for mousetraps.

[[MT...]]

I'm incredibly thankful for being able to go on a hike with normals through meetup this past weekend and being able to keep up. It was just the right amount of challenge and I met nice people. It gave me more hope. Now if only I could sleep...

[[Ja...]]

I am so grateful for finding this forum. I need to stay away from the horror stories as I swear reading them makes my symptoms so much worse. I am grateful that my next reduction in dose this Tuesday will bring me below 3.5 mg Clonazapam. I am grateful for my sister who dragged me out of my house every day when my taper started 7 weeks ago.

[[MT...]]

I am so grateful for finding this forum. I need to stay away from the horror stories as I swear reading them makes my symptoms so much worse. I am grateful that my next reduction in dose this Tuesday will bring me below 3.5 mg Clonazapam. I am grateful for my sister who dragged me out of my house every day when my taper started 7 weeks ago.

 

Jayne, you're wise to avoid horror stories. There is plenty of uplifting material on BB so go toward those threads. What you're feeling is very normal. Choosing to taper and following through is a hugely courageous thing. Pat yourself on the back for it. I'm thankful you found this thread so you can see all that people are grateful for.

 

I'm grateful for being able to travel a few hours away to visit family, play with a baby, and come home. Even though it wiped me out for today too, it was worth it to have the interaction. I'm grateful that interaction in general has become easier after such a long time of it feeling weird and forced. I had a wonderful talk with a friend today as I walked. Even in the midst of wave days there is something good that's happening if I just will look.

[[Ja...]]

I am grateful for saying yes to lunch today. She told me she's not taking no for an answer anymore and would be over in a half hour. First time I've belly laughed since I started my taper seven weeks ago. We went shopping after. I literally forgot to take my afternoon dose of "poison" and still felt good. Took it two hours later when I got home. I'm so thankful to have a friend like her who doesn't feel put off by my constant roller coaster ride of emotions and physical symptoms. I'm going to start saying yes on a regular basis. Even when I don't feel like it. Distraction is key. So is acceptance

[[MT...]]

Jayne, that's excellent. I'm so glad you went.

 

I had a good experience having dinner with a friend yesterday that I'm thankful for. I thought about bugging out when it was a super wavy, sleep deprived day but I decided to push it and managed to have a nice time. These experiences help me feel more hope that there will really be a life I feel like inhabiting when this is all over.

 

Today I'm thankful I survived more than anything. For such a bad day it was great that I worked with easier people today than I have on some workdays.

[[Le...]]

Just found this thread, so here I go.

 

I'm grateful I had the energy to speak with my beautiful, kind, sweet niece when she stopped by my mom's house.

 

I'm grateful I tried avocado and I love it.

 

I'm grateful for finding more positive threads on BB.

 

I'm grateful for being able to sleep most of the night.

 

 

[[Ja...]]

I'm grateful that for the first since I started my taper 7 weeks ago I rode my horse. I did this on three hours of sleep as I couldn't fall back to sleep from 2 am on. I am also thankful that I had a ball with the great people there. Had my trainer take a video to show my psychiatrist who asks every week if I've been exercising. It was six degrees in NY this morning. I can't believe I did it. Going to do it again Friday

[[MT...]]

Good job finding things to be grateful for, folks.

 

Jayne, those glimpses of doing something normal, and my goodness, even experiencing *laughter* are absolutely precious.

 

Today I experimented and made this black bean and pumpkin soup. I was a little afraid it would taste weird but it was delicious and healthy. Totally worth the bother. I'm thankful I was able to make it, I felt well enough to eat it (no nausea or GI distress) and that there's enough to take to a potluck tomorrow with mostly strangers. Gulp. Introvert attack!

[[Li...]]

I'm grateful for competitive gaming since it is allowing me to beat my insomnia during my withdrawal.  It's ridiculous how so many people perceive gaming as a "terrible addiction" but in reality they are helpful.  Psych meds are destructful but video games are an important healing tool because you have no choice but to focus on them and forget about your symptoms!

[[Bu...]]

Im grateful for being able to keep my job throughout this process. So many others have not.

 

Im grateful my sleep has returned to almost normal.

 

Im grateful for a partner who has been supportive, but who also pushes me.

 

Thanks for this positive topic!

 

Bubbles

[[wa...]]

Hi, Happy to find this thread.  Not feeling grateful without sleep but know this is necessary work to get better.  I'm grateful that I'm less nauseous.  Grateful for my steadfast husband and my comforting dog.  Wendy

[[Wo...]]

I'm grateful for the return of laughter. Real laughter. Not the forced kind that's designed to fool my friends into thinking everything's alright.

[[MT...]]

Bubbles, being able to keep working is a real blessing during these laps around the Inferno.

 

Wanna, you're right on. Trying to be thankful without sleep can feel like trying to do your taxes. Super hard but it feels better after you get it done. Gratitude can snap me out of my "Everything SUCKS" fugue!

 

Wonder, laughter is a big one. Isn't it strange how wd flattens you out and steals this simple reaction? I realized I was going to make it when I had my first really belly laugh. I was listening to David Sedaris while lifting weights at my gym so it was a little odd for everyone else to have me suddenly laughing

 

I'm thankful that today I was able to enjoy a work related article, and follow it well enough. I'm looking forward to the ginormous snow that's coming tonight but hope we don't lose power. I love snow.

 

MT

 

[[Wo...]]

Yes! I was having thoughts lately that even if I "heal" from this, I will be changed forever somehow. Maybe blunted in a way. This week several times I caught myself laughing out loud at shows that I usually watch just for distraction. Our sense of humor is such an important part of our personality. I'm glad that's coming back.

 

Enjoy the snow MTfan.

[[wa...]]

I didn't laugh yesterday but I started humming something at the kitchen sink- I realized I was doing it - and then started crying.  This is so hard and I have so far to go.

 

Grateful that I am able be there for my troubled son tonight even though I feel like hell.  Later, I was there for a suffering friend, too, tonight.  She has no idea I'm tapering.  Sadly, I know she is creeping into tolerance w/d on her K.  But I didn't say a word because she is facing a terrible legal thing next month.  I'm grateful that I recognized I am too sick to help her.  I have to circle my own wagons.  Is that the right metaphor even?  Thnx all.  (BTW I like David Sedaris, too, MTFan) --