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About this blog

Sharing the ways distracting has worked for me, my ups and some unavoidable downs.

Entries in this blog

Fighting with Grade Schoolers

Most foods don't do anything for me. I eat because I need to; this recovery process kind of killed my appetite. For a long time I had a lump, constantly rising up in my throat when I ate. The lump is gone, so that's a 'yay' box I can check. But I still don't much like food. I do like Fairlife Chocolate Milk. When I can find it. It's amazing. Even my body-building grandsons approve of it because it's high protein and low sugar. It has the same amount of sugar as white milk. You'd never know

[Ho...]

[Ho...] in distractions

What Saving Frogs Looks Like

Today my husband and I went to volunteer at the local forest preserves, cutting down and burning buckthorn. See the photo above? On the left is forest that has been cleared of buckthorn. You can see through the trees; it seems airy and bright and now other species can grow around the trees. But on the right is the dark, scary forest that we're just starting to work on. Most of it is buckthorn. It can have two-inch thorns. Apparently buckthorn emits a poisonous substance that affects the ability

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[Ho...] in Distractions

After the Ball is over . . .

Finally completed this painting. It's in watercolors again, so it's hard for me to work the petals and leaves into anything with more translucence. I'll try the concept in oils one day, maybe. But I got it done! There's an artist's practice that I have to start doing again. You give yourself a very limited amount of time to draw something. Then shorten the time and shorten until you've only got a few seconds. It loosens your wrist and makes your drawing or painting flow and have clean, simp

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[Ho...] in distractions

Beautiful Moments

Right now there's an owl hooting outside. I think it's a great horned owl. It always takes me by surprise because I live close to a major metropolitan area, and owls should (I'd think!) be rare. So hearing one outside, in the night, feels like an honor and a privilege. Yesterday there were two adolescent boys on one bike riding together with huge, huge smiles, dark hair whipping in the wind, legs all over the place, pumping and balancing. Their smiles just transfixed me; sheer joy, just sho

[Ho...]

[Ho...] in Distraction

The pen is mightier than the brush. Sometimes!

Well, I went outside with a piece of canvas and acrylic paints. (Along with all the rest of the stuff you need to paint: Water, brushes, paper towels, chair, table.) And painted a blobby piece of work. I got discouraged and pulled the plug pretty fast. I just don't like acrylics! I like oils better but they're so messy to clean up, I don't quite have the energy to start one!  I've started another watercolor, meant to go without pen and ink, but man, it took a lot of pre-drawing, and it's ta

[Ho...]

[Ho...] in Distraction

My Paints are Magical. My Painting, Not So Much!

Finally broke out the watercolors and tried my hand again. I have to say both were a complete fail until I used ink and drew on them. They're still not exactly fresh or exciting but I guess serviceable is a good word.  Honestly inking them was a LOT more fun than laying down the color. It was a pretty good distraction. I've been in an afternoon wave for the past year, and even drawing was tough. TV was worse, and eating awful. When I couldn't draw any more I went outside and took some photo

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[Ho...] in Distractions

Three Best Friends

I get so much advice here. So much encouragement. I have a suitcase filled to the brim. I have to sit on it to close it. Here are some of its simple gems: Eat clean, exercise, trust the healing process, avoid alcohol and caffeine. Consider limiting gluten and sugar. Listen to your body. Yet strangely, I forget to open it. I suffer for it. My family suffers for it. So I'm putting my big three (lately) here, as a personal reminder and maybe an encouragment for some of my beloved benzo buddies

[Ho...]

[Ho...] in Coping Skills

Meet my Chair.

Finished! I should probably add this to the previous blog post, but here it is. There were so many steps (and so many steps backward!) that I'm fast-forwarding from start to finish line. It's been an exercise in not getting discouraged even when recovery-tired (which sleep doesn't fix yet!), even when I made mistakes and also when I wanted to drop-kick the chair down the stairs. I didn't. Now I have to figure out where it will live in the house!  

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[Ho...] in Distractions

BAKING A CAKE

BAKING A CAKE I'm thinking of baking a kind of cake. It's not really a cake; it's more a metaphor for the resounding question, 'Where do I go from here?' Ingredients: One chick healing from withdrawal, aged for 11 months in the benzo recovery barrel. One laptop A handful of talents and abilities: Can sew. Can paint. Can read. Can write.  Get a house with plenty of rooms. Take the aged chick. Don't worry if her skin is burning, she has the jitters or she has no appet

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[Ho...] in Distractions

Distracted by a Snowflake

By far, the best antidote to burning skin, nausea, malaise, dizziness and weakness is getting lost in something. It's miraculous. A tried and true piece of advice given to young adults is to 'Find something you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life'. Distraction is like that. Suddenly all the torture is somewhere else. The tremors, pain, fear, anxiety and debilitation are just gone. So this is an area we need to circle around, nurturing and valuing these things. While w

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[Ho...] in Distractions

TV Shows I Can Watch. Oh yes.

I don't know about you, but for a while I could barely watch TV.  Everything seemed to zip like an arrow to my core, bothering me at some deep level. So here is a short list of my do-able shows. Not listed here is Project Runway, which I watched as my husband passed behind my chair, saying, more often than not (in Heidi Klum's German accent) "One day your'e in, and the next DAY, YOU'RE OUT!"   Watching that show was the first time I felt normal. But only during the show! As you can imagine,

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[Ho...] in Engrossing TV

Life Always Goes On

First time blogging! Ho boy!! I've been realizing that as I wait to be fully recovered, the days, weeks and months are passing. While I've tried, from the start, to sort of keep my hand in life, it's been an uphill battle. So I think a good way to use this space would be to show some of the projects I've started, or will start, just to keep my mind occupied and use this time wisely.  Here is my first project. I'm re-upholstering a chair that used to belong to my Great Aunt Gretchen. Sh

[Ho...]

[Ho...] in Distractions

Life Always Goes On

First time blogging! Ho boy!! I've been realizing that as I wait to be fully recovered, the days, weeks and months are passing. While I've tried, from the start, to sort of keep my hand in life, it's been an uphill battle. So I think a good way to use this space would be to show some of the projects I've started, or will start, just to keep my mind occupied and use this time wisely.  Here is my first project. I'm re-upholstering a chair that used to belong to my Great Aunt Gretchen. Sh

[Ho...]

[Ho...] in Distractions

Life Always Goes On

First time blogging! Ho boy!! I've been realizing that as I wait to be fully recovered, the days, weeks and months are passing. While I've tried, from the start, to sort of keep my hand in life, it's been an uphill battle. So I think a good way to use this space would be to show some of the projects I've started, or will start, just to keep my mind occupied and use this time wisely.  Here is my first project. I'm re-upholstering a chair that used to belong to my Great Aunt Gretchen. Sh

[Ho...]

[Ho...] in Distractions

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