Help with starting liquid taper from Xanax and adding Valium

[[Ju...]]

Ok, then your symptom is totally different than mine.  Also, my feet do not burn.  They tingle-vibrate are some other words for it.  It's almost like I can feel the blood coursing through the veins in my feet when it happens.  And sort of like it feels when a person's foot has gone to sleep.  I described it to my friend and they said it sounds like a kind of mild neuropathy.  I know it's nerves and I know it's from Xanax.  If it happened more often, I'd probably worry but it doesn't happen often.

 

You know I believe I'd continue holding a few more days, considering this new symptom you're having.  You just might need a bit more time to stabilize.  I'd try that and see if the symptom would stop.  I would want the symptom to stay gone for at least 24 to 48 hours before I cut again.  Of course if it hangs around past this time, this would not stop me from tapering off, but I would still try to see if I could get it to resolve prior to cutting again, if I were in your shoes, JACD. 

 

 

[[...]]

So, we don't have the same thing?

 

It;s that 'Little vibration" feeling.

 

The feet burning are a separate thing and that has stopped. That only lasts the first 2-4 days into a cut.

 

It's the 'tiny quick vibration twitch' thing that I'm talking about.

 

You don't have that?

 

 

[[Ju...]]

So, we don't have the same thing?

 

It;s that 'Little vibration" feeling.

 

The feet burning are a separate thing and that has stopped. That only lasts the first 2-4 days into a cut.

 

It's the 'tiny quick vibration twitch' thing that I'm talking about.

 

You don't have that?

 

Nope.  Mine is a constant vibration when it occurs.  When it starts in any given day, it's there for the day until I go to sleep, but is gone when I wake up the next morning.

[[...]]

Wow. I see. No , I don't have that.

 

Mine comes and goes. Like a bubble.

 

Well, it's probably Mr. Xanax, right?

 

Well, I'm already at day 12 today, guess I'll hold one more day...

 

Should I drop? Or cut elsewhere without dropping?

 

If I drop, it would be a cut back to back from the same dose time. Which I've never done. Usually rotate them.

 

But it would be nice to only have to dose once a day.

 

The 'safer' thing would probably be to round robin'..but that would mean I'm still doesing 2 x a day.

 

When I could ( if it held) dose once a day.

 

Ahhh!! the fun never ends!!

[[...]]

Hey Juliea

 

 

How are you?

 

Well, here's an update. Today I took a huge step and DROPPED one of my two daily doses. It's VERY intense right now.

All the usual sxs plus the drama of dropping the dose. Very hard right now. But I'm hanging in.Last time I dropped a dose was about 5 weeks ago. I dropped my mid dose. I used to dose 3 x a day. And that was hard when I dropped that one too.That was my mid dose and I only had to wait about 4 hours until I had my final dose of the night.

 

But this one is a much longer wait.And I'm wondering if I shouldn't do it.

 

 

It goes like this.

 

My 'first' dose of the 'day' is at 4:30 pm. My last dose is at 1am. And then I eat and then I sleep. I sleep late and wake up around 11am-1pm something like that. Then I only had to wait 5 to 3 hours until it was time for my first dose at 4:30.

 

But now I have to wait 11 -13 hours until I finally have a dose at 1am. It may be too long for me to wait, but that's what I did.

 

After missing my 4:30pm dose time, the WD's started, and got really bad, then sort of peaked at 8;30 pm ( 4 hours past due) and then I started to calm down a bit as we get closer to my 1am pill.

 

But that's the thing, NOW (11:30pm) I don't feel like taking a pill really, I just want to go to sleep! It's like I need the pill hours ago, not right now. Now I just want to sleep. When I'm asleep, I don't feel I need it. Who cares? I'm already asleep.It's when I'm WIDE AWAKE for the whole 12 hours that I 'need' the pill.

 

But, I only want to take one pill a day. Not two.

 

My question to you is , should I stick with this? And suffer though the day but keep the night pill?

 

Or should I cut the night pill but keep the day?

 

OR do you think it would be 'safe' to switch around my dosing pattern a bit. Like instead of taking this one pill so late at 1am..(even though I have for 8 months) would it be 'safe' to change the time to 10pm or something? I do want to take only one dose a day, I just want to see if I can cover both times without taking 2 pills.

 

Any thoughts?

 

Thanks!

[[...]]

It is now 12:15am here, I have no desire to take my 1am dose. I will of course but, the dose I wanted to take (the one that my CNS was freaking out over missing) was my 4:30pm dose.

 

Should I switch?

 

Or could I 'fudge' it a bit by moving up my 4:30pm dose to 8:30pm or something and then skip my night 1am dose?

 

Of course, all this will be moot if I can adjust to not having a day dose.If I settle down and this 'drop' takes hold, I'll be fine.

 

I just want to do it right and don't want to cut or drop the 'wrong' dose and make it harder then it needs to be. I don't want to make things worse if I can.I'm still pissed I took bad advice months ago and broke up my dose into threes. That created the problems I am now dealing with and trying to fix.

 

Both my day and night doses are around .0312 each. Well, the night dose is slightly larger it's probably .0525, slightly less then .0625. And so, it is getting to the point when I need to drop something.....

[[...]]

Juliea

 

Just thinking.

 

Maybe, I did make the right move after all.

 

If this drop holds, it may be the least painful...

 

Because I just did the math. My 1am dose lasts until 4:30 pm. That's 15 and a half hours between doses.

A long wait. BUT that's what I've been doing for 7 months here. And it's been pretty solid. I don't start getting WD's until 4:30 or so.

 

So it seems to hold.

 

My dropping the 4:30pm dose means I have to wait from 4:30pm until 1am. That's 8 and 1/2 hours.

It's less time, actually then the night hold.

 

So, if this takes..maybe I am better off dropping my first dose at 4:30 and holding 8 hours.

Rather then dropping my night dose and having to wait and hold 15 hours!

 

Maybe I picked the right move after all?

 

We'll see..

[[Ju...]]

Well, it sounds like you've thought through the timing of your doses, so hopefully you will be able to make it through this cut the way you initially decided.  Remember, it's not surprising at all that any cut or change in dosage would take a little time to get used to.  This process is an endurance test on all fronts, isn't it.  Remember also, what you're learning to do is cope with eventually no Xanax at all.  I know you can learn how to do this.  You have not always needed Xanax and you will eventually get yourself to that place again.

[[...]]

Hey Juliea

 

fell really bad right now.

 

This is day 3 (72 hours in) this sucks. My first day was hell then day 2 was ok now day 3 help!

 

I don't know if I can make it.

 

It's the dropped dose that's so hard. My 'cut' reduction is only 6 grams!

 

The thing thas killing me is not having anything right now.

 

I dont know what to do. I'm 3 hours past when my dose would be, and this is 72 hours in, and the 4th drop day.

 

I thought I was doing OK but now today, THIS IS INSANE.

[[...]]

I dont want to reinstate but this is madness.

 

My dose is so low right now too! WTF?? Why is this happening?

 

I thought this would be OK!!

 

I mean I knew it would suck ( they all do) but I didn't think it would be THIS BAD. It's like a electrical storm in my head right now.

 

And I've got 5 hours to go!!

 

Maybe I should go back and forget about 'droping' all at once?

 

Maybe just keep shaving this crap down until it's dust, and then lick the dust, and when the dust is all gone.. Then I stop?

 

help...

 

 

[[Ju...]]

I would not up dose.  You can do this JACD.  The symptoms will eventually abate.  I'd hold out for my dose if I could.  These symptoms although terribly distressing, won't kill you, IMO.  You're going to be ok.  Then tomorrow, maybe take what you would take for the day in 2 doses.  Can you try that?  I'm so sorry you're getting slammed.  This is Xanax's last stand trying to mess with you.  Don't let it win. 

[[...]]

Thanks J

 

I needed that.

 

Well, now it's 3 1/2 past my dose time..and I stood up and tried to walk around a bit.

 

Still woozy and dizzy. but the 'storm' and thunder has calmed down. At the moment.

 

Thank God.

 

But who knows.

 

I'll try and hold today. But tomorrow we'll see. Yes, I wont up dose. I'll just do the same amount but at 2 doses.

 

Hope I don't have to. Because I've already suffered and paid my dues for 4 days here.

 

I don't want to go back to 2 x a day, I just want it to hold.

 

I haven't had food all day. When I eat I get a wave.

 

But when I don't eat, I get low Blood Sugar and feel wavy too.

 

I think I'll eat something.

[[Ju...]]

I hope things are better today, JACD. 

[[...]]

Hey Juliea

 

Well, I made it.

 

I think...

 

I'm now on day 5 of my drop. It's still pretty damn intense but I'm holding out so far. I thought because I tapered so slow that when I drop it's not supposed to be so bad? It makes me think why the hell did I do all this tapering and spend all this time if it's going to be a nightmare when you finally stop. I thought going smooth and tapering a slow time is supposed to make it easier?

 

Anyway,  here I am. Now it seems as if my 'wave' goes on for the same amount of time it took to take my missed dose. I stopped taking my 4:30 pm dose and that's when my big wave starts. However, now the wave lasts for 3-4 HOURS!! It seems to mimic the same amount of time I would have been 'on' the drug. I would take my 4:30 pill and feel OK for about 4-6 hours and then the WD's would come but then I'd have my final dose and I'd be OK.

 

Now since I dropped my 4:30 dose, I get hit with a long slow intense wave for those same 4 hours!!

 

My question is..did I make it worse by dropping?

 

Because I always get a wave everyday, BUT it's only about an hour or less and that's my little "peak" for the day and then it's over. That's it. Now, since dropping the daily "wave' lasts the length of time my pill used to! Now, it's a 4 hour wave!?

 

Sucks.

 

Of course, all will be forgiven if this GOES AWAY. And it is slightly better each day ( though still sucks, and the worst I've had since the beginning of the taper) but still, did I give my CNS more stress here then I needed to?

 

I don't want to make things worse. I had THOUGHT I could drop my little 7 gram less then .0312 little cut and not go bananas.

I've been paying my dues here all damn year just so when I do 'drop' or 'jump' it's not WW3 in my head.

 

But it's not working that way. Is this 'normal"? Did this happen to you? Many people even JUMP at the level I'm at right now .0625 or less daily, I tried to do the 'safe' thing and go even more gentler and stretch it out, and I go though agony? Why?

 

It just makes me question the whole taper, what's the point? If it's gonna be so painful to 'jump' at a measly .0312 and feel like hell anyway, then why didn't I just jump and take it MONTHS AGO?

 

I thought spending all this time would make it 'easier' . This sucks. I want my 7 months back, OR I want this 'drop' to work out . Fast.

[[...]]

And the other thing is, I'm half way 'pregnant' here. I've already done 5/6 days, 120 hours of my dropped dose, I don't want to go back now to 2 times a day. I wont up dose, but I could just split it to 2 times a day but, I've allready suffered and paid the price for going on 6 days in a row here.

 

I just want it this 'drop' to hold.

 

But I'll tell you, the next time, I am NOT dropping ever again. I'll just go all the way down to dust. You think you can 'jump' or 'drop' at less then .0312 but I guess not.

 

I guess I can't and even if this finally takes hold and WW3 stops in my head. I ain't doing this twice.

 

But I think it's too late to go back to 2 x a day. And eventually I AM going to be in this damn position of 'no more pill".....

 

What to do?

 

Just make it stop.

[[Ju...]]

We just can't predict what's going to happen.  Jumping cold turkey would have probably been much, much worse than what you're experiencing now and also perhaps longer lasting.  No way to predict.

 

I believe things will settle down and I'm proud of you for sticking this out.

 

Yes, I've known people who dropped off Xanax pretty much scraping dust to get there.  Remember, you've got a scale, so you can go as low as you need to.  If I wanted to go lower than .0312, then I'd cut this tiny piece in half or powder it and make two rows of powder and only take one of the rows per day.  Or weigh it out, if this is possible.

 

Can you believe how strong this stuff is right down to the crumb? 

 

And no, this did not happen to me.  From .25mg to zero, I barely knew I was tapering.  But I've known plenty of people who still felt their cuts at this point in their tapers.  It's not unusual at all and you aren't alone.

 

You're describing your doses as grams.  Where exactly are you Mg-wise? 

 

 

[[...]]

Hi Juliea

 

 

Well, I made it.

 

I hung on and right after my last post here, the very next day ( day 6 of my drop) it changed. Finally.

I started to slowly stabilize. I still would get hit with the missed dose feeling around the time I would have taken it , but as the days have passed, that feeling is now shorter. Thank God. Day 6 was better, day 7 better, day 8 better, day 9...now I'm on day 12 and it's holding.

 

I'm not going back.

 

It just sucked very hard for 5 whole days straight. My last 'drop' was about 6 weeks ago when I went from dosing 3x a day to 2x a day and that was holly hell too. BUT that stopped after 3-4 days. Gone.

 

That's what I thought would happen on this 'drop' maybe 3 days of hell , then gone. But No. It took 5/6 days. And I was pissed. And very sick.

 

But now I just take this crap once a day. Like I used to do before I entered taper hell, and life is doing OK.

 

To answer your question about what I'm really at Mg wise. I now am at .0625. That's it. Now taken only once per day ( at nighttime) That's it. I'm technically at a little bellow .0625, because my cut is 12-14 grams per day, and .0625 weighs out on the scale to be a little over 16 grams.

 

And I only take 12-14 grams. So, I'm a bit lower then a .0625 cut.

 

And before this, I was on .0312 and .0625. I just dropped the .0312 dose and that's when all hell broke loose.

 

I thought I was doing the ultra 'safe' thing by dropping from .0312 instead of .0625. But it still sucked.

 

But here I am. OK so far.

 

I don't want to do this again. My next cut is just a cut. I'll cut to .0312 next. I'm waiting at least 14 /15 days before I do.

I still feel that the thing that hurt so bad was not the 'cut' or reduction in grams. It was the DROP. The fact I've been taking a little crumb of this crap every day since Feb at the same time every day and then not taking it anymore. THAT'S what hit bad. Not the loss of 8 grams!

 

I never should have broken up my doses. But I was scared and I thought that's 'how you taper". I thought that was the plan everybody did.

 

I should have just stuck with my original pattern of once 3-4 days a week. And then tapered .0625 each week from there.

 

Not go from 3x a week to 3 x a DAY! And Xanax is so powerful that by the time I realised it was bad to take 3 x a day, it was too late. I was dragged into the quicksand with everybody else.

 

Because I really only took xanax 3/4 days a week. And only for the last 6 months of last year, 2013. That's it. Before that I hardly ever took Xanax. Only for a flight or something.A 30 pill prescription would last me 8 months!

 

I took MORE Xanax during my taper then I ever did when I was really 'on it'.

 

The 'cure' was worse then the 'disease".

 

But here we are.

 

I just want it over.

 

Thanks Juliea for being here.

I wish I would have found you before I got the advice to break it up to 3 x a day from 3 x a week!

But I didn't. Just my luck.

 

OK. Off to sleep now.

 

 

[[Ju...]]

I'm so glad you stabilized!  And yes, I had some cuts where stabilization felt elusive BUT I hung on for dear life and sure enough, I always stabilized.

 

Yes, you taught me a whole lot JACD, about people who are not daily dosers.  Since I had watched several people who were not daily dosers insist on not dosing every day, I knew a taper could be done this way.  I would not advise anyone to change their dosing pattern unless they were experiencing pretty severe problems.  Because these types of changes can STICK and very often, there's no going back to what once was.

 

Hopefully this was just a yucky cut and your next cut will be kinder to you!  Congrats on being on .0625!! 

[[...]]

Thanks Juliea!

 

Yes, well, I'm glad I could teach you something! After all that you've taught to me!

 

Yes, Juliea. you are so right about changing a pattern and having it STICK.That's what happened to me. I got dragged into the quicksand. And by the time I realized it (just one week later!). It was too late. The pattern held.

It's like crazy glue. It sticks. Never change it up unless you have to.

 

But I thought that's how everyone tapered. One size dose not fit all. Especially if you're not a daily user.

 

Hanging on here. Doing alright. Probably going to cut this weekend down to .0312.

 

But I have a new nagging issue I want to ask you about.

 

I just noticed I've got a mild yellowish tint around the skin of my eyes. Not on my eyes. Not in the eyes. Not on the whites of the eyes. But on the skin part. Like where your eye glasses would rest, the skin on your face. Sort of like that.

 

Did you get this? Or have you heard of this being caused by our old friend Xanax?

 

I look online and they say it's the liver and I hope it's not that.

 

My eyes also ache and are sore too. I haven't slept longer then 4-5 hours in 8 months !!

 

Maybe that's why I've got this yellow tint around the skin...

 

Any thoughts J?

 

I also should add that I have dark circles around my eyes anyway and my eyes feel tired and sore, like a allergy kind of. But I've just noticed this slight yellow tint lately mixed in with the dark circles. Like raccoon eyes. But not that bad.

 

I havent felt rested in 8 months. I hope the eye thing is just from lack of sleep.

 

I really don't want to have to go to the doctor. I HOPE it's just another sxs from this Xanax crap and will go away. Like I said I haven't sleept right in 8 months! So, maybe that's it...but still it's another thing to stress over. Just what I don't need right now.

[[Ju...]]

My skin took a severe hit, JACD.  But I can't say I experienced a yellowing of my skin.  I had really severe dry skin patches and bumps and odd new moles that popped up.  My skin is still recovering! 

 

Maybe open a post on the board about the yellowing around your eyes and see if others have experienced this.  It's probably just dark circles from lack of sleep, but I'd post and see if others experienced this.  Take care.

[[Co...]]

Julia,

 

When you finally finished tapering do you experience any withdrawal effects? Or was it is relatively smooth transition to benzo-freedom?

 

Thanks.

 

Steve

[[...]]

My skin took a severe hit, JACD.  But I can't say I experienced a yellowing of my skin.  I had really severe dry skin patches and bumps and odd new moles that popped up.  My skin is still recovering! 

 

Maybe open a post on the board about the yellowing around your eyes and see if others have experienced this.  It's probably just dark circles from lack of sleep, but I'd post and see if others experienced this.  Take care.

 

Thanks Juliea

 

I did post it out there. We'll see.Yeah, my Mom looked and she can't see yellow. I DO have heavy dark circles etc. And like I put in the new post, it's like raccoon eyes but not that bad. And it's not quiet YELLOW more like the look when you first get a bruise, and the skin turns brownish/yellowish/gold at first before it turns black.It's that kind of 'yellow'.Like the start of a bruise, light brownish, tan color.

 

It's like that.

 

I look on line and they say it's all the horrible things like liver disease or cancer!!

I think it's probably Xanax WD. And lack of sleep.

 

 

Please tell me it's just from Xanax WD and not something major Juliea!

I'm almost off this now I get this stress!

 

Thanks!

[[Ju...]]

Julia,

 

When you finally finished tapering do you experience any withdrawal effects? Or was it is relatively smooth transition to benzo-freedom?

 

Thanks.

 

Steve

 

Hi.  I don't believe many folks who are as dependent as I was transition with absolutely no symptoms, but my jump did not produce an acute withdrawal period.  My acute happened at the top end of my taper when I was cutting too large chunks of pill.  My transition to being free did produce some insomnia, but this resolved within about three months or so.

 

You'll be ok if you just take your taper slow and easy and stabilize between cuts.  Good luck and try not to be afraid. 

[[Ju...]]

My skin took a severe hit, JACD.  But I can't say I experienced a yellowing of my skin.  I had really severe dry skin patches and bumps and odd new moles that popped up.  My skin is still recovering! 

 

Maybe open a post on the board about the yellowing around your eyes and see if others have experienced this.  It's probably just dark circles from lack of sleep, but I'd post and see if others experienced this.  Take care.

 

Thanks Juliea

 

I did post it out there. We'll see.Yeah, my Mom looked and she can't see yellow. I DO have heavy dark circles etc. And like I put in the new post, it's like raccoon eyes but not that bad. And it's not quiet YELLOW more like the look when you first get a bruise, and the skin turns brownish/yellowish/gold at first before it turns black.It's that kind of 'yellow'.Like the start of a bruise, light brownish, tan color.

 

It's like that.

 

I look on line and they say it's all the horrible things like liver disease or cancer!!

I think it's probably Xanax WD. And lack of sleep.

 

 

Please tell me it's just from Xanax WD and not something major Juliea!

I'm almost off this now I get this stress!

 

Thanks!

 

I'm glad your Mom did not see any yellow.  This is good because I know that for me, I saw things in the mirror as much worse than what other people saw.  I had dark circles and tired eyes my entire taper.  You're going through an extremely exhausting and stress ridden time and it's no wonder you've got dark circles.  Not unusual at all.  Stress can do this and you've been under an inordinate amount of stress.  Try not to worry.  Since your Mom sees no yellow, I would trust what she sees and believe I was just exhausted.  You're so close to the end of the taper now and when this is behind you and a bit of time passes,  your anxiety over this whole crappy mess will lift.  You're gonna be fine JACD!

[[...]]

Thanks Juliea!

 

I talked to my doctor today and he said so long as my eyeballs, or whites of the actual eyes themselves are not 'yellow'.I'm OK.

 

It's not Jaundice.I mean I don't do anything. Nothings changed. I haven't even drank a beer in 8 months. All I do is take my little crumb of Xanax. That's all. But it was stressfull thinking it could be something major.

It now looks to me like just a weird skin thing. Discolouration. Probably caused by this crap.

 

It also looks like a part of my Mothers skin on her arms.

She has weird sunburnt aged skin in places and the shade around my eye is looking like that too.This crap ages you. I know it.

 

I also think it has something to do with me ALWAYS wearing sunglasses every time I leave the house. My 'off' skin colour is exactly right where my dark sunglasses sit.Like when skiers wear goggles and then get a tan line around the eyes.

 

I think it may be as simple as that.

 

My doc said I can come in and do a blood test, but he thinks I'm fine. My eyes themselves are white. Not yellow.And the skin itself looks like 'off tanish' you wouldn't look at me and say yellow! My mom didn't see it.

I told my doc I haven't slept longer then 5 hours in 7 months! He said that's not good. and that would give me dark circles and all kinds of things. I asked if he'd seen people with the tint around the eyes and he said oh yeah.

 

I feel a little better now.