Valium/Diazepam Support Group

[[ki...]]

VNM, my heart breaks for you and your kitties, but you were such a good mama to them and they were lucky to have you. I am glad that you have opened your heart to precious Sheyna. She will bring you much joy and healing. 

[[va...]]

VNM, my heart breaks for you and your kitties, but you were such a good mama to them and they were lucky to have you. I am glad that you have opened your heart to precious Sheyna. She will bring you much joy and healing. 

 

Thank you so much Kitsune. Yes she's brought us so much love and also her fair share of biting  :laugh:

[[Ma...]]

Hi everyone,

 

In the summer of 2019, my taper went terribly wrong and I went into a tunnel which I later learned was called acute wd, where all my reality was distorted, I lived in terror 24/7, and nobody could help me. Even in this forum when I spoke about it, many people must have thought I was exagerating because I kept doing things and trying to be normal, just to run away from my own brain. I just wanted God to come and end everything. I'm thankful now that he didn't.  I won't go into the details of that time but I'm sure some of you can relate. During that summer, my two cats died. The first one was 14 and had a cronic kidney condition which got worse over the summer and in the month of July, after taking her every day to the vet (me being in acute wd and constant terror), she died. I took her every morning, they had her with IV fluids and I picked her up at 5 pm and gaver meds and more fluids at home but nothing worked. Finally she died. Then my other cat went into a depression. My other cat was only four years old at the time. She stopped eating, and I took her to the vet. They said it was normal as she was grieving her companion, and she'd get over it but try to feed her. I tried to put some can food into her but she always rejected it. Then she stopped drinking. Two days of this and I took her to the vet again. Due to not eating or drinking because of the depression, she had developed an acute kidney desease. They ran many tests and an ecography. They discovered she only had one kidney (she had always been a very weak kitty). She was admitted into the vet hospital and every day she spent the day there with IV fluids and meds. The same routine as for my elder cat. On the seventh day she died at home as it was a Sunday. It was quite obvious from the beginning that she would die but I did what I could and was instructed. Even though the vets told me that there was nothing more I could've done to keep her alive, and that she was very weak from birth and that it was a miracle that she'd lived four years, the guilt ate at me and I feel guilty to this day that had I not been in the state I was, I could've prevented her from dying and maybe even the older one too. I was too scared to get another cat after that, and too sad, and I didn`t trust myself. After a year and a half of my friends insisting I get another cat and me missing my little one so much, I finally brought this one to our lives. She's two and a half months old and very healthy and playful. She's always hungry. She's been with me for three weeks and I wanted to introduce her to you. Her name is Sheyna and she's a bundle of love. She's on my profile pic.

 

OMG, I am so happy for you Vali!  So so happy  .  I lost a dog during my 2nd year of wd and always felt a lot of guilt, I didn't feel I looked after her while she was sick as I could have if I hadn't been so sick.  I know how you feel.  We did all we could and you will be a wonderful mommy to that gorgeous kitty    I am writing her name in hopes of remembering it.

Sheyna, Sheyna, Sheyna  :laugh:  I am so excited you got her.  LY!!

Happy New Year my friend.  🙋🏼🙋🏼🙋🏼😘😘😘😘🙏🙏🙏🙏😷😷🙏.  🎈🎈🎈🎈💥💥💥🎉🎉. 🐱❣️

[[jo...]]

I just prepared my first batch of Rx liquid diazepam at a 1:10 ratio to begin taking tonight. I sure hope it does not taste like it smells or I will have a problem keeping it down!! When I previously made a solution with vodka, water and pills, I used a 1:100 ratio.

 

Please check my math and method.

I am going to start off by replacing .4mg of my 1.4mg night time dose and take the remainder 1mg in pill.

At a 1:10 ratio, I will only be drinking 4ml of the batch I made and taking 1mg in pill. I mixed 2ml of Rx liquid with 18ml of water for a total of 20ml to get my 1:10 ratio. If my math is correct, this should last me 5 days if I only drink 4ml a day? Does my math look correct and is there a way to help with the taste of the liquid if it is bad as it smells?

 

I'm scared to death, but I've got to try it.

Jo

[[ki...]]

Jojo, your math looks good to me. The Rx liquid tastes bad, but not as awful as the home brew did to me. You could put the 4 ml in a larger glass of water to dilute it further and then drink that. That would help minimize the flavor.

[[Mo...]]

Val, congrats on your new kitty. That's very exciting and she looks super sweet. I hope she brings you some joy. I understand the guilt but you likely did the best that you could at the time.

 

Jojo, you will get used to it. Pretty bad at first but I don't mind any longer.

[[Ni...]]

I took my morning valium 9 minutes too late, is this bad? I'm worried

[[ki...]]

Nikitis, 9 minutes won’t make a difference. You are going to be fine.

[[Ni...]]

Nikitis, 9 minutes won’t make a difference. You are going to be fine.

Thank you Kitsune.

[[Ni...]]

Im having moderate to severe physical anxiety now. Will I stabilize?

 

It just takes some time.  You need to hold if the symptom is too much, if it's something you can handle, just move forward.  Do you have to cut a whole mg at a time?  You might do better cutting less.  Why are you going into a hospital, where you will be giving up your control?  I honestly believe tapering should be managed by you and how you are feeling.  That's just my opinion.  🙋🏼😷

Yeah I agree with you, it's just that the comfort of having supporting nurses and doctors around makes me feel better whilst tapering. They can also give me drugs to lessen the physical anxiety, like buspirone. I'm not sure that drug actually helps it though.

[[ki...]]

Nikitis, buspar is hit or miss for a lot of people. There simply is no magic pill that makes benzo withdrawal all better, otherwise we’d all be taking it. A hospital is not going to be able to help you other than polydrugging you. You simply have to persevere. You will get through this. Find any distraction you can. Meditate, exercise, binge watch a show, whatever works for you to get through the next minute, next hour, next day.

[[Sh...]]

Nikitis I nearly went to hospital too but when I thought about what the drs had already tried me on I thought it can only get worse. We have this image in our heads of being safer in a hospital but it’s not always the case. Sending u a big hug i hope things settle for u soon xx

[[Ni...]]

Thank you everyone, yesterday I had a window, today I have a wave again. Ugh. I wish I would remain stable.

[[Ni...]]

Had a window today, but things got a bit worse after I ate a grilled cheese sandwich with lots of mayonnaise.

[[ki...]]

Nikitis, if you think you have food sensitivities, it would probably do you good to start eating more carefully. I avoid spicy foods because they rev up my insomnia.

[[Ma...]]

Had a window today, but things got a bit worse after I ate a grilled cheese sandwich with lots of mayonnaise.

 

Or whatever you eat, eat in moderation  .  I know it's hard, I used food to congratulate myself for surviving a bad day, and I had to stop it.   

[[Mo...]]

Agree with these ladies.  I look at all labels now and don't eat anything that I know could/would be a trigger - MSG, etc.  I believe mayo has MSG in it so I just stay away, even though I do like it. 

[[Gr...]]

I am in the process of a diazepam taper and I just switched from completely using pills to using a combination of pills and oral solution in order to micro -taper. When I started with the solution, I actually decreased my dose from 7mg to 6.8mg. But I FEEL like I updosed. I slept better, the feeling of the benzo when it hit me felt different (cleaner, a little stronger). The only eplanation I can think of is that perhaps the liquid version is more potent than the pill form. HAS ANYBODY ELSE EXPERIENCED THIS? Perhaps it's more potent because it's absorbed better? So even though I've technically decreased my dose, perhaps in reality I haven't due to higher absorption rates? I don't know, which is why I'm asking. I didn't even think of this when I started the liquid taper. Now I'm not sure if I'm going backwards or going forwards.

 

Anyone else experience this?

 

Grace

[[Mo...]]

Hi Grace,

Yes, I have experienced that as well.  I have heard others say that they felt like it absorbed better also so we are not alone.  It could be an "updose" because the generics are allowed to vary in percentage.  It also may be based on which generic?  I tried Mayne brand only twice but I felt like it was weaker.  TEVA pill is what I took and I noticed a slight benefit whenever I would switch a mg over from pill to liquid.  I will consider it a "gift" if you will that I am responding so well to it - would definitely rather have it like this than the other way around.  Glad it's treating you better also!

[[Gr...]]

Momof7babes,

Thanks for your response! Okay it's good to know I'm not alone on this. Yes, I think I'm just going to consider it a "gift" also. I just don't like the idea of going backwards if it really was on updose, but on the other hand, at least I'm sleeping again. And I can micro taper from here. Just another weird quirk about this taper.

 

Grace

[[Ni...]]

Nikitis, if you think you have food sensitivities, it would probably do you good to start eating more carefully. I avoid spicy foods because they rev up my insomnia.

Had a window today, but things got a bit worse after I ate a grilled cheese sandwich with lots of mayonnaise.

 

Or whatever you eat, eat in moderation  .  I know it's hard, I used food to congratulate myself for surviving a bad day, and I had to stop it.   

Agree with these ladies.  I look at all labels now and don't eat anything that I know could/would be a trigger - MSG, etc.  I believe mayo has MSG in it so I just stay away, even though I do like it. 

Thank you ladies, yeah I use food to just make me feel better but the physical anxiety is not worth it.

 

I woke up with mild to moderate physical anxiety today, went away after smoking. I hope it stays this way and I'll be able to decrease my dose to 12 mg in the morning (my Dr's prescription) of valium next week without too much trouble which I expect there will be...

 

When I crossed over to 12 and 12 mg of valium originally I was in acute withdrawal everyday for weeks, and my doctor thought it was due to the risperidone and wouldn't prescribe me more valium. So I updosed to 14 and 14 mg of valium and lo and behold, the acute withdrawal went away after a while. Now I'm tapering back to 12 and 12 again and I really hope I won't be in acute withdrawal on 12 and 12 again.

[[Ni...]]

I inhaled smoke from the chimney outside, with smoke coming from the boiler and after a shower a few hours later I got physical anxiety. Is this brain damage? I was just doing so good, normally I never have physical anxiety around this time, 6 pm.

[[jo...]]

Momof7,

 

Do you still use pills along with your Rx liquid or are have you switched to all Rx liquid now?

 

This is day 5 of adding Rx liquid to my taper, and so far so good. I have only switched out .4mg to Rx liquid of the daily 3.4mg. I take 2mg pill in morning and 1mg pill with .4mg Rx liquid at night and I am getting ready to replace the other 1mg at night with the Rx liquid. I have 2mg pills left over from previous scripts that would last me a while. Just wondering if I should continue taking pills along with the Rx liquid while I taper, or if I should eventually go to all Rx liquid for my total daily dose?

 

Everyone, please feel free to comment with suggestions. I have learned soo much from all of you the past couple of years and I am truly grateful.

Jo

[[Mo...]]

Hi Jojo,

I went to full liquid at 3 mg.  So much easier to deal with.  However, it's not hard to split a pill and since Valium has a long half life, it was nice to not have to mess with weighing.....just used the other half of the same pill on the next day, with no issues.  Glad to hear you are ok with the liquid. 

[[Ma...]]

I inhaled smoke from the chimney outside, with smoke coming from the boiler and after a shower a few hours later I got physical anxiety. Is this brain damage? I was just doing so good, normally I never have physical anxiety around this time, 6 pm.

 

Nikitis, I have some smells that bother me but , imo, it isn't brain damage.  It's just benzo's messing with us some.  Truly, wouldn't worry about it.  Mary