The Xanax Club, Let Us Know How You Are Feeling Today

[[wi...]]

Hi y'all,

 

Been taking time away from the boards.  Experiencing how a wave can hit without warning even when you've not reduced dosage for a few weeks.  Super fun.  Thanksgiving was spent alone because I couldn't make it to the family gathering. I know someday it will be different, but when you're in it, it blows. Pissed off at benzos, but accepting where I'm at in recovery from them.  That doesn't mean I'm happy about it!  See ya soon.

[[Di...]]

Hi y'all,

 

Been taking time away from the boards.  Experiencing how a wave can hit without warming even when you've not reduced dosage for a few weeks.  Super fun.  Thanksgiving was spent alone because I couldn't make it to the family gathering. I know someday it will be different, but when you're in it, it blows. Pissed off at benzos, but accepting where I'm at in recovery from them.  That doesn't mean I'm happy about it!  See ya soon.

 

Hi Widesky,

I am so sorry you are having a wave I hate them!  I am so sorry you spent Thanksgiving alone but I understand.  My family was here and I was so glad but I felt miserable all day.

I hope you feel better soon.

Hugs...

[[En...]]

Thanks baddove! Lori I experienced fatigue all the time during the taper, now it got a little better, it gets triggered when I get over stimulated and unfortunately for me just a walk with too many things moving around is too much, but it’s for sure a thing of withdrawals. Widesky I totally understand you, I can’t meet a friend for a coffee or a talk because it’s simply too much, I tried yesterday and I had to come back and lie down in bed and today I’m exhausted. I’m so scared of this overwhelming feeling when I get stimulated by simply looking at cars moving, it feels it’ll take forever to recover

[[Di...]]

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

 

Enzo, congrats on the jump, wishing you the best as you navigate the next stage of healing and recovery.

 

Lori, a line you wrote a while back that is so typical:

You know the deal with me, it's a 'game-day' decision.

 

Everyone is either jumping or getting really low, very proud of everyone.

 

Hi Baddove,

I hope you are feeling better and I hope you had a good Thanksgiving.

Hugs ❤

[[ba...]]

Thanks Dianne.

 

I am doing better. Taking some time off the boards to not be so xanax focused, I am sick of talking about it and reading about it. Not tired of all the great buddies, just the whole benzo thing.

 

Have several health issues with members of my family, as well as my own ongoing recovery from dental surgery and trying to get my dentures to fit.

 

Popping in a bit here and there.

 

Best to all

Baddove

 

 

[[Di...]]

Thanks Dianne.

 

I am doing better. Taking some time off the boards to not be so xanax focused, I am sick of talking about it and reading about it. Not tired of all the great buddies, just the whole benzo thing.

 

Have several health issues with members of my family, as well as my own ongoing recovery from dental surgery and trying to get my dentures to fit.

 

Popping in a bit here and there.

 

Best to all

Baddove

 

Baddove so happy to hear you are better.  Take care of yourself and your family.  I understand I hate benzos so bad and what it has taken from us.

 

Always in my thoughts and prayers ❤

[[Lo...]]

Enzoit,

Glad to hear that your fatigue has lessened!  That gives me hope that eventually this will pass. 

 

Baddove,

I totally "Get it" about taking a break.  I swear that my limited time on here this summer was a necessity.  It was nice to not eat, sleep, and breath Xanax tapering.  Granted, it's always there but I made it a point to not even talk about it with family or friends while vacationing this summer and it truly helped.  I think when you've been at this as long as we have, taking a break is a necessity at times. Like anything in life, too much of anything is not healthy.  It's just unfortunate that this process is with us 24/7 no matter what we do (or don't do) but taking a break from writing or talking about it can help us recharge the battery.  Hope you're doing okay!

 

Widesky,

I'm so sorry that you got hit with a wave!  It really is baffling how they come on out of nowhere.  I had a solid two weeks that were just awful so I totally get it.  Hoping that things take a turn for the better for you very soon!

 

 

Somehow, someway, I got a reprieve symtom wise yesterday for Thanksgiving and let's be honest, I was more thankful for that alone, more than anything else in my life right now.  I was able to go to my neices house with 15 other family members and actually enjoyed myself!  I have no idea why or how the muscle stuff was almost nondetectable for a solid 7 hours - let alone no dizziness, etc.  I was extremely fatigued while showering and getting ready but I think the conversation at th event helped snap me out of it. I'm beyond grateful that I was able to participate and actually laugh, converse and enjoy myself!  My parents came back to my house and spent the night last night.  I planned ahead not knowing how I'd feel this morning and had ordered brunch for everyone and it was wonderful!  I started to feel the wd affects by around 11:30 this morning and it was bumming me out!  It was so nice to feel "normal" for almost a full 24 hours.  And things got worse as the day went on.  Nevertheless, it was nice to have one really good day!  I was in such a great mood this morning because of it.  Tonight isn't so great and I have a funeral in the morning so I'm simply praying that sleep is decent and that tomorrow morning is tolerable. 

 

I can only PRAY that this is a sign that better days are ahead.  It might take a while longer, but I'm hopeful!  I have to be!!!

 

Hope everyone else is doing well and that better days are coming for each and every one of you as well!

 

Fondly,

Lori

[[wi...]]

Hi everyone,

 

Made a small cut about three days ago and feeling it.  Tremors, anxiety anaphylaxis, air hunger, weakness, fog, and depression.  I'm going to stay the course right now and see if I level off in the next two weeks.  I forgot what my face going numb felt like! Oh, and those intrusive thoughts and songs getting looped in my head from like 30 years ago!

Trying to keep it light, even though it's super hard. I'll be around, popping in. hugs to all.

[[Lo...]]

Widesky,

 

Oh boy do I remember the face going numb deal! It used to happen almost daily through most of my taper.  Not quite sure when it left or why but it finally did sometime over the course.  I hated it!  Hopefully yours will pass once you get under 1 milligram as well. 

 

I made a cut today and now we wait.  Praying that this one doesn't present with any new issues... the ones that I still have are enough.  Hang in there!  We'll get through this come hell or high water!

 

 

Fondly,

Lori 

[[To...]]

Thought I would check in as it has been awhile.  I have continued to go down with my taper and did great for the last taper but feeling the anxiety on day 4 of this taper.  Pushing through and trying to keep myself busy.  I hope all are doing wonderful and all had a wonderful Thanksgiving and are getting ready for a delightful Christmas!  We all got this...   

[[Di...]]

Hi Torris,

Good to hear you are going down in your taper and handling it pretty well.  Keep going you'll get there.  Thanksgiving was tough but made it doing online Christmas shopping.  Woohoo.

Sending you hugs❤

[[wi...]]

Hello! I want to jump in this thread as I’m currently on a Xanax taper. I hope my signature explains it well, but if anything isn’t clear or I left something out feel free to ask.  I have an appointment with my psych on Monday to discuss my taper. I’m at 3.5 now for 2 weeks, down from 4 mgs. So far I have just been dry cutting my pills, but I know it will get a little more complex as my dose decreases. I’m thinking I may need to get a scale to accurately measure. I’m just trying to get a feel for how people do this as the dose gets lower. Any advice on cutting pills vs crushing them and putting them in capsules? Fillers? I have been reading so many differing opinions, and maybe I am jumping ahead of myself since I am not down to the lower doses yet. I know that staying with a 10% reduction will put me at a dose of 3. 0.35 mg daily. I’m tempted to just try to drop to 3 mgs but that’s above 10%, so I guess I’ll see what my psych says. I know if I did drop that much and felt like I couldn’t handle it I could always up dose to 3.035 mgs. I just don’t want any setbacks, but I also want to get my dose down. Does it sound too drastic to go to 3 mgs? I am currently dosing 3x daily, as follows: 8:30am, 0.5, 4 pm, 1.25, 11 pm 1.25. I think as I go lower I will be dosing 4x a day, possibly 5. I appreciate any input  :

 

machka,welcome!

 

You may get a lot more helpful answers from a wider population of buddies if you repost your post in the Direct Tapering section of the forum.  Go to the home page and look there for the section.  Glad you have been able to handle the bigger cuts that you've made so far in your taper without any side effects.  Also, glad you ditched your old doctor. Welcome aboard !

[[ba...]]

I need information on how to taper from xanax xr instead of xanax short acting. Also, is it any easier. How do you make a cut when you can't break the XR tablets? Do you use both XR and short acting, and cut the short acting?

[[wi...]]

No answer for you bad dove...but I'm confident you'll get one from somebody.  I'm just glad to see you.  I've been in the trenches after having a day and a half window.  Mental symptoms are insane and I'm feeling upset with everything.

My body is raging with pain.  I'm finding old injuries are flaring up with this taper..it's mostly spine, joint and muscle pain.

Depression and worry are nonstop. Again, good to see you. 

[[ba...]]

Sorry your having a hard time.

 

I had medical complications a few months ago, which are on going, and it has really thrown me off. Made a cut, and it's been awful. Talking to my pdoc on Friday.

 

From what was shared elsewhere, I don't think the xr is the solution. prob just holding for as long as it takes.

 

This is agony

 

Good yo hear from you

[[wi...]]

If anyone sees Lori tell her I was asking for her.

 

Dove-still sending you love and healing thoughts, you too machka! 

Keep this zombie insomniac in  your thoughts! The would be me.

[[ba...]]

Greetings to all. You are all getting there, good to see your posts. Popping in to let you know I am still around, just not very active right now.

 

Loves to all

[[wi...]]

Love you, too.

[[Lo...]]

Hello, All!

 

Sorry I've been MIA for awhile.  Rough month!

 

In a nutshell...

Two of my uncles died a week apart.  Funerals.  Sadness. 

My marriage is in shambles as many of you know but things got really bad and my husband moved out for 7 days, came home for 2 and moved out again the week before Christmas.  Let's just say that Christmas was a disaster! 

My son got Covid (he's fine now... thank God), I was exposed, it was impossible to find a test, I'm negative (which was a miracle due to close contact for several hours). 

My taper was put on hold.

I did not see any of my family (parents, sisters, etc.) for Christmas due to all the above - which was soooo hard since I've hosted for the last 23 years. 

I've cried more in the last 3 weeks than ever in my life.  Literally could not pull it together.

Now I'm alone in this big freaking house and I hate it.  I never thought I'd be doing the last leg of this taper alone.  I'm scared, sad, frustrated, angry, .... and a plethora of other emotions. 

 

So.... that's my story. 

 

Bad, I had zero luck with XR Xanax.  I thought it was horrible.  Additionally, it's pretty impossible to taper it. Any form or XR pills should never be crushed, filed, broken, etc. Simply no way to measure them.  So sorry that you're still struggling to taper! 

 

Wide, Thanks for thinking of me!  I genuinely appreciate it! Hope you're doing okay!

 

Everyone... I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas! 

 

Fondly,

Lori

 

[[wi...]]

Oh, Lori honey, Im so sorry about the crappy month you've had.  I'm praying for some relief for you. 

Please take care of yourself and you know you've always got support here. Sending you a huge bear hug and healing thoughts. 

[[Lo...]]

Well.. just when I thought I had seen and done it all during my 4+ years of tapering... this one takes the cake.....

 

I have been beside myself trying to make sense of why I have been feeling SOOOO BAD for the past week! Everything hit me with intense muscle rigidity, depression, nausea, dizziness, fatigue, etc.  I honestly couldn't wrap my head around how it got this bad!

 

A month ago I took all of my little pieces of Xanax and weighed them.  I labeled my pill box compartment with the accurate weighted doses.  I'm at a dose that equals .016 on the scale and I was able to put a bunch of that weight into the proper compartment and have been taking them without having to weigh them for over a week now.

 

Today was horrible and out of nowhere, I decided to weigh a few from the compartment - more to PROVE to myself that I was taking the right dose.  Low and behold, they were .011-.013 in weight which would equal a total daily dose of .12-.15 mgs! - Far below the .19 they should have been!  It's literally been a 30%+ drop in dose!  I was (and still am) stunned!  Now it all makes sense that I'm feeling this bad!  What I can't figure out is how the darn things lost their weight in the box.  The only thing I can can think of is that I keep them in my pocketbook and they get jolted around a ton.  Maybe over the course of a month, because they are already broken or filed into pieces, they just got knocked around and more broke off?  Either that or my scale was completely off when I weighed them a month or so ago.  Who knows!

 

So lessons learned?  1) Don't store these broken little pieces for a long time.  2) Don't store them in a place that will cause them to get knocked around. 3) check your scale (weights) frequently.

 

Now I have to decide what dose to go back to and stick with.  I'm just plain happy that I figured it out before things got worse! 

 

And.... that's my story for today! 

 

Hope everyone is hanging in there!!!

 

Fondly,

Lori

 

[[30...]]

lori,

I am so glad you figured that out!  wow! 

I hope you start to feel better soon! 

I am still holding my Xanax at 1mg but honestly I still don't feel well after five months -- not sure if it isn't time to just go on ahead and start my dlmt taper again. 

 

I had a 13 hour window on thanksgiving and last Wednesday I was able to drive to see family an hour away and spend two nights and did well -- now I feel worse than I did than when I went into acute last spring.  but I also just started my period, that never helps but it was never this bad. 

 

any thoughts or suggestions?  also best of luck now getting stabilized and I am SO glad you figured out the issue -- 30% reduction will do it!

 

[[30...]]

lori, you feeling any better?

[[Lo...]]

300,

 

Thanks so much!  And wow!... a 13 hour window!  That's fantastic!  You need to hold on to those windows as they're what keep you going!  I had one two months ago at a funeral of all places.  But I went to the service, the reception after, chatted with everyone, had lunch with friends, etc. and didn't have a single symptom.  It was bizarre.  But I hold onto that when I'm feeling really bad.

 

I'm only on the second day into trying to find my right dose.  I went to .17 to see if I'd stabilize here.  Last night wasn't so great.  I'm hoping that today is better.  I'm getting so frustrated.  This has been such a ridiculously long taper for me and I had hoped that the end wouldn't be this brutal. 

 

Nevetheless, thanks so much for checking in!  So thoughtful of you! 

 

Hope all are doing okay! 

 

[[wi...]]

Lori,  sorry you're feeling like crap..I hate that Xanax doses can affect us even if a tiny shard crumbles off the tablet fragments.  I actually shaved a pill too much and through, ah, no big deal. Well I was wrong.  I got symptoms very quickly.

I read that xanax is 40x stronger than valium!  No wonder such a speck makes a huge difference.

 

I know you've been through hell and back with this loooooong taper.  I've often wondered how you possibly endured that, and you're still doing it.  You are a very strong person and inspire so many of us.

 

Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.  Hoping you're going to level off soon.

 

In spite of all that being said, I'm glad this thread has some action again.  It used to be a huge encouragement for me a few months back.  And it went dead.  I was even going to start a new thread named xanax buddies 2.0!

I hope wee all can keep posting on here with progress reports, tips, cries of frustrations, joys, windows, waves  whatever!

 

I've missed you and all of those I have met on this thread.

 

I'm trudging along going on month six of that I find a  slow and seriously annoying taper wrought with many days of  mental and physical suffering. I could have never imagined it being such hell before I started the taper.

I'm just rounding the corner to getting down to 1.50mg from 2mg.

In my super achiever American mind I scoff at that, ready to beat myself up for not being the superhero.  What a complex, it's an old tape I have burned in my head from being a super achiever in most things in my life.

 

When I knew nothing about tapering (for a 26yr user like myself), before I found BB, I initially tried to reduce by .50 and man did I go crazy.  Not as crazy as when I was forced to cold turkey for two days from a prescription error, but still really bad.

I remember being in shock when I started trembling so violently internally, couldn't sit still, had to get up and walk around, my throat was closing up, looping disturbing thoughts of panic and terror...yada, yada.

 

Well, I went on to update folks a bit, but segued into a mini series! Oh boy.

 

Love you guys!