problems after w/d from benzo's

[[Lo...]]

Lori Lee gives great advice about speaking the truth about what is going on instead of telling yourself this is never going to end.  The truth really does set us free

 

 

I need to practice what I preach, everyday.  Had a hard day and spent much of today asking myself if all of this will go away or am I going to be like this forever (panic, anxiety, emotional) !!!! I find it easier to tell myself this too shall pass when I have times of relief. When symptoms are reved up, it is much harder to do!! Just being honest with you all.

 

Lori

[[Mi...]]

Wow - Lori has it right on target.  It's hard to tell ourselves that this will eventually go away, but I agree that we must try to be positive about what we are experiencing. 

 

I'm so sorry you are having sleep issues - I am having them now as well.  The first thing I do when I wake up in the middle of the night is look at the clock and count how many hours I've slept.  Silly, I know, but it makes me feel better to say "hey! I got 3 hours straight!"

 

Hope you feel better soon.

 

Missy

[[Pa...]]

skooter,

 

I hope you're getting some sleep, I hope you're feeling some relief.  Please know that it will come, I'm living proof of that.  I was so afraid, just like you are.  I would lay on the couch and look at the clock and wonder how I could make it another second, another minute another hour.  But, I did and you will too. 

 

Your life will come back, and it will be so much better than its been for many years.  You'll have clarity of mind, peace and calm in your body and a sense of gratitude that will wash over you and make you whole.

 

Travel this road, this terribly difficult road and know that at the end lies health and freedom from this pain.

 

Pam

[[sk...]]

 

Am going to attempt to reply to you all. Although my symptoms sure rev up after midnight and it's very difficult. And not that they aren't bad all the other times but wow do they worsen and I'm not able to sleep until t hey decide to settle down.

 

Hey Cal, I hear you with the sleep issues. They sure do get worse the less sleep you have had. And I will try and get those few minutes of sleep with more appreciation for them as we need all the sleep we can get in order to heal. I've hear that it's the only way for our nerves to heal. My nartureopath also stated that my nerves are now hooped from the benzo's in my system for so long. Nice work eh, argh. Hope you are doing better.

 

Hi Lori Lee,

 

Thanks for the advice also. I am always thinking that nobody can be having the same experiences that I am having. How would it be possible as it is hard to fathom that anybody can continue on with them. I'm not saying I'm stronger than others, but the opposite as I don't want to do this anymore it is so unreal. But anyways I'm sorry you are having difficulties also and wish all of us will have better days much sooner than we expect. Hope you are feeling better.

 

Hi again Swirl,

 

I've never had sleep like I had the other night that made me feel so out of it. So I don't really know what benzo free sleep is but sure looking forward to it. Hope I am not up until 6/7 am again but if they body is any tell tale of how long I will be up it doesn't look good. I hope you are doing better and keep up the good work. Apparently we all can do this.

 

Hi Missy,

 

It seems we all need sleep eh?? lol, oyvay if only I had a magic want I'd heal all of us. I still am amazed that they still hand these meds out like candy they should be so banned and I want to get better and maybe try to do something about it. But I'm only one person and I'm thinking that by the time I'm done with this all (if?) then I probably will not want to even think about the damn things ever again. I do so want to help others tho as we couldn't do this without the wonderful help. Take care.

 

Hi Pam,

it seems like forever since we written and it hasn't been. It's just that time goes by so damn slow when we are smack damn in the middle of this b.s. Watching the time go by. I just noticed on your thread that you've been off of these since '07 and you are still having problems? Wow that scares me. Are they as intense and what are they? I'm sure if I go back and reread you've probably told me but I'm not sure when I can do that. I hope you have a good Friday, talk to you soon. Do you ever go into chat?

 

Take care everybody and sleep well!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

[[Sw...]]

Hey Skooter,

 

Talk about sleep??? My anxiety level is very high and last night I only got 1 hour of sleep! I'm anxious and deprived of sleep and to top it off have to go to an emergency dental appointment. Did I mention I hate going to the dentist? Oh my goodness! Yikes!

 

Hope you got some sleep. Wish me luck at the dentist.

 

Swirl

 

 

[[Lo...]]

 

Travel this road, this terribly difficult road and know that at the end lies health and freedom from this pain.

 

Pam

 

This is what it's about!! We each are traveling on a terribly difficult road, but it doesn't deadend! It will lead us to a wonderful destination called Healed!! For those that are tapering or recovering since becoming benzo free, we need to listen to others who have traveled the road before us! I have not heard one person who is totally recovered ever say that the journey was NOT worth it. I only hear how wonderful it is once we have healed and I will hold onto that hope!! Will you hold onto it as well??

 

Lori

[[sk...]]

 

Well I took 2mg at 6am, 1mg at 12am I think and then I just took the other 1mg at 9:30 pm. I still have the tremoring in my bones and very clammy skin, a few zaps in the body but nothing like it was. I hope that it will get a bit better so then I can stabalize and work my way to starting a taper plan. Does this sound ok to anyone, and has anyone experienced doing this and the similar feelings of starting again? I just like the feedback hopefully to find out that what I've started will be ok and I won't have to go back to c/t again as I honestly thought I would end it all it was so torturous and maybe I'm weak and I've been to hell and back many times but nothing like this have I ever had to endure. It took me 2 yrs. of hell to get off of a/d during the early 90's but the physical of it was nothing like this although I'd never want to go thru that again either. Any advice greatly appreciated especially if you reinstated again.

 

Thank you, I hope people see this as I wasn't sure where to write. I am sorry for the confusion.

[[Lo...]]

Hey skooter,

I see from your signature box that you were originally on 4mg of clonazepam. I would highly recommend that you NOT reinstate this amount. Since you have been without the drug in your system for weeks, 2mg for atleast a week or two, would probably be enough to get you stabilized. The more you go up to, the more you will have to taper off of. I recommend that you take 1mg in the am and 1mg in the pm. I know you are trying to make your symptoms stop, but the answer is not to take a large quantity of the benzo. I posted to you on your other thread and gave you some suggestions.

 

Lori

[[sk...]]

 

Well I've been reinstated now for 4 days. Although I thought for some unknow reason that I was taking 1.5mg (I wish) I just realized today that it is 2.5 I've been taking. My clonazapm are 2mg each and I take 1 in the morning 1 in afternoon and 1 in the evening. My mind just isn't what it used to be. Although reinstating has made it possible for me to be more relaxed, sleep, sleep and more sleep, I am still having the numbness and feeling that somebody is putting a stake through my breastplate right thru the center of my spine. I don't know which is worse. I still worry how I am going to get thru this, but continue to hope and pray that the taper plan will be better for me in the long run. I need to be able to do things come spring and summer or I will feel completely doomed. I also hope I can understand the taper plan that T2 has written up for me as I used to be great with numbers and now they just fly over my head. .625 appears to be half of 1.5 I think and 3.75 half of the .625? I hope someone can explain. I hope I'm not such a pain in the ass that people stop helping me as I really don't think I'd make it and am so  very very thankful for these wonderful people. Thank you.

[[Th...]]

 

Well I've been reinstated now for 4 days. Although I thought for some unknow reason that I was taking 1.5mg (I wish) I just realized today that it is 2.5 I've been taking. My clonazapm are 2mg each and I take 1 in the morning 1 in afternoon and 1 in the evening. My mind just isn't what it used to be. Although reinstating has made it possible for me to be more relaxed, sleep, sleep and more sleep, I am still having the numbness and feeling that somebody is putting a stake through my breastplate right thru the center of my spine. I don't know which is worse. I still worry how I am going to get thru this, but continue to hope and pray that the taper plan will be better for me in the long run. I need to be able to do things come spring and summer or I will feel completely doomed. I also hope I can understand the taper plan that T2 has written up for me as I used to be great with numbers and now they just fly over my head. .625 appears to be half of 1.5 I think and 3.75 half of the .625? I hope someone can explain. I hope I'm not such a pain in the ass that people stop helping me as I really don't think I'd make it and am so  very very thankful for these wonderful people. Thank you.

 

Hi skooter,

 

It would be best to get the smaller tablets available which would be the .50mg so you can make the smaller cuts. One fourth (1/4) of the .50mg tablet is .125mg. The .625mg is one .50mg tablet plus 1/4 of a .50mg tablet which is .125mg. So .50mg and .125mg equals .625mg. Hope this makes sense!  The .375mg is .25mg which is 1/2 of a .50mg pill plus 1/4 or .125mg of a .50mg pill. Hope I'm not confusing you. 

 

T2

[[Lo...]]

 

Well I've been reinstated now for 4 days. Although I thought for some unknow reason that I was taking 1.5mg (I wish) I just realized today that it is 2.5 I've been taking. My clonazapm are 2mg each and I take 1 in the morning 1 in afternoon and 1 in the evening. My mind just isn't what it used to be. Although reinstating has made it possible for me to be more relaxed, sleep, sleep and more sleep, I am still having the numbness and feeling that somebody is putting a stake through my breastplate right thru the center of my spine. I don't know which is worse. I still worry how I am going to get thru this, but continue to hope and pray that the taper plan will be better for me in the long run. I need to be able to do things come spring and summer or I will feel completely doomed. I also hope I can understand the taper plan that T2 has written up for me as I used to be great with numbers and now they just fly over my head. .625 appears to be half of 1.5 I think and 3.75 half of the .625? I hope someone can explain. I hope I'm not such a pain in the ass that people stop helping me as I really don't think I'd make it and am so  very very thankful for these wonderful people. Thank you.

 

Hey skooter,

I know you said that your math is not real good right now, so I hope the above is a mess up. Did you say that your pills are 2mg and you are taking 1 in the morning, 1 in the afternoon, and 1 in the evening? That would make a total of 6mg a day??!! 2mg + 2mg + 2mg= 6mg. Did you mean that your pills are 1mg?? If you are taking 6mg a day, no wonder you are able to sleep, sleep, and more sleep. Please let us know....

 

Lori

[[sk...]]

 

Hi Lori,

 

I am so sorry I keep getting all of this mixed up. My pills are 2mg. I break them in half and take a half, 1mg in the morning, the other half, 1mg in late afternoon, and another half, 1mg at night.

 

I must say that I still have symptoms and am tempted to stop again but I know what that means and I'm terrified to begin everything all over again. I do sleep a lot but very sporadically. I feel so lost and feel as though I am just not going to make it through this. Especially when I think of going thru this day after day after month etc. I just wanted some kind of life back and doing this all over again will mean just wanting to be alone again until this is done, when and if it's done. I'm sorry I sound so down but I wasn't this depressed until I reinstated. Thank you again for all of your help as I don't know what I'd do without this place. :'(

[[...]]

Do you have a plan to taper?  You are at 3 mg a day.  Begin a taper there after you have been on this dose for a week.  You could then dry cut one of the doses, so it would just be .5mg.  As T2 stated it would be best if you could get .5mg tablets.  Much easier to cut into smaller doses.

 

Please get a plan so you can move forward and be benzo free.

[[Sw...]]

Hey Skooter,

 

Just dropping by to say hello.

 

Hang in there buddy.

 

Swirl

[[sk...]]

 

Thank you Cal, I'm trying so hard to stay on the 3mg of clonazapam but the symptoms are coming back full force. I am so sorry I'm being a pain in the butt but it's because I'm terrified as to what will happen once the s/x become full force again. I thought I'd have an easier time. I'll continue until Friday and start the taper.

 

Hi Swirl, thanks for coming by. As you can see I'm still a mess and can't even fathom being this way for another yr. I hope you are doing well and your taper is helping you as I forget where you are at this point and I'm sorry. I so want to help others but am in no position right now. Please take it easy on yourself

[[sk...]]

 

I have a question that is very serious due to the symptoms I am having and wonder if ANYBODY ELSE has these awful feelings. It feels as though my back bones and ribs are literally tied in knots. As if someone has ropes intertwined into them and are pulling them in all directions. I need to know if these feelings are some of the norm of coming off of benzos. I have yet to read of these on anybody elses questions or blogs. I hope others see this so I will be able to know not to worry so much about them as I'm trying to do this taper, and don't know if I should just quit as they were happening when I c/t also and I'm just not able to do anything.

 

Please forgive me for all of the silly questions, I am freaking here and feel there is no hope left for me.

 

Thank you to all that read this.

[[Th...]]

 

I have a question that is very serious due to the symptoms I am having and wonder if ANYBODY ELSE has these awful feelings. It feels as though my back bones and ribs are literally tied in knots. As if someone has ropes intertwined into them and are pulling them in all directions. I need to know if these feelings are some of the norm of coming off of benzos. I have yet to read of these on anybody elses questions or blogs. I hope others see this so I will be able to know not to worry so much about them as I'm trying to do this taper, and don't know if I should just quit as they were happening when I c/t also and I'm just not able to do anything.

 

Please forgive me for all of the silly questions, I am freaking here and feel there is no hope left for me.

 

Thank you to all that read this.

 

Hi skooter,

 

I'm not sure if you have read The Ashton Manual where she lists and describes all sorts of things that one can experience, here's the link to that chapter... http://www.benzo.org.uk/manual/bzcha03.htm#12

 

Here is an excerpt about muscle symptoms...

 

Muscle symptoms. Benzodiazepines are efficient muscle relaxants and are used clinically for spastic conditions ranging from spinal cord disease or injury to the excruciating muscle spasms of tetanus or rabies. It is therefore not surprising that their discontinuation after long-term use is associated with a rebound increase in muscle tension. This rebound accounts for many of the symptoms observed in benzodiazepine withdrawal. Muscle stiffness affecting the limbs, back, neck and jaw are commonly reported, and the constant muscle tension probably accounts for the muscle pains which have a similar distribution. Headaches are usually of the "tension headache" type, due to contraction of muscles at the back of the neck, scalp and forehead - often described as a "tight band around the head". Pain in the jaw and teeth is probably due to involuntary jaw clenching, which often occurs unconsciously during sleep.

 

At the same time, the nerves to the muscles are hyperexcitable, leading to tremor, tics, jerks, spasm and twitching, and jumping at the smallest stimulus. All this constant activity contributes to a feeling of fatigue and weakness ("jelly-legs"). In addition, the muscles, especially the small muscles of the eye, are not well co-ordinated, which may lead to blurred or double vision or even eyelid spasms (blepharospasm).

 

None of these symptoms is harmful, and they need not be a cause of worry once they are understood. The muscle pain and stiffness is actually little different from what is regarded as normal after an unaccustomed bout of exercise, and would be positively expected, even by a well-trained athlete, after running a marathon.

 

There are many measures that will alleviate these symptoms, such as muscle stretching exercises as taught in most gyms, moderate exercise, hot baths, massage and general relaxation exercises. Such measures may give only temporary relief at first, but if practised regularly can speed the recovery of normal muscle tone - which will eventually occur spontaneously.

[[Lo...]]

 

I have a question that is very serious due to the symptoms I am having and wonder if ANYBODY ELSE has these awful feelings. It feels as though my back bones and ribs are literally tied in knots. As if someone has ropes intertwined into them and are pulling them in all directions. I need to know if these feelings are some of the norm of coming off of benzos. I have yet to read of these on anybody elses questions or blogs. I hope others see this so I will be able to know not to worry so much about them as I'm trying to do this taper, and don't know if I should just quit as they were happening when I c/t also and I'm just not able to do anything.

 

 

Hey skooter,

Yes, I believe I know what you are talking about. It is hard to describe, but it is VERY uncomfortable. When I was having these problems, my husband told me to take a Tylenol. I told him, it's not painful, just uncomfortable and scary because I had never felt anything like it before. I also had those feelings in my stomach and intestines and boxerman on here called them "gut spams." My very first symptoms after taking my last benzo were these horrible pulling/squeezing feelings in my back and neck and head. I said it was like trying to put a twin size sheet on a king size bed!! But, the good news is, the worst has passed. I still get tightness in these areas, but NOTHING like it was. Hope this eases your mind some about this being something other than a result of the benzos!!

 

Lori

 

[[sk...]]

 

Hi T2,

 

thank you again for the info you found on the muscle tension. I'm grateful for all the help you've given me. I've tried to taper to .5mg today but I know that's to fast. So I will taper one of my daytime meds to .5. It just seems no matter what I take I am suffering.

 

Hi again Lori and thanks for your input as to my tightness around my bones in my torso. I think you know exactly what I mean and it truly is so depressing as it won't stop. I noticed since I reinstated I am having depression which I wasn't having when I c/t as I was having such a terrible time with the pins, needles, numbness tinnitus etc that I wasn't able to think long enough to be depressed.

 

So that's my update. I am still just wanting this to be over with so I can have my life back and can't get over how the docs and pharmaceutical co.s are still able to make these and give them out. My rant for the day.

[[Th...]]

 

Hi T2,

 

thank you again for the info you found on the muscle tension. I'm grateful for all the help you've given me. I've tried to taper to .5mg today but I know that's to fast. So I will taper one of my daytime meds to .5. It just seems no matter what I take I am suffering.

 

Hi again Lori and thanks for your input as to my tightness around my bones in my torso. I think you know exactly what I mean and it truly is so depressing as it won't stop. I noticed since I reinstated I am having depression which I wasn't having when I c/t as I was having such a terrible time with the pins, needles, numbness tinnitus etc that I wasn't able to think long enough to be depressed.

 

So that's my update. I am still just wanting this to be over with so I can have my life back and can't get over how the docs and pharmaceutical co.s are still able to make these and give them out. My rant for the day.

 

Hi skooter, 

 

I am so sorry you are still not feeling well. I remember the days of hopelessness thinking I would never get through it, but I promise you it will get better and you will heal. It will take time. I wish I could wave the magic wand and make it all better for you!

 

Sending you hugs!

 

T2

[[Lo...]]

Hey skooter,

It's easy for depression to set in during withdrawals. It can actually be a withdrawal symptom, but I also think it's because we do get sad about "wanting our old lives back." To not be able to do what we once did, to be confined to our house, to have pain in our bodies, to not know how long all of this will last, to not be able to get help from the medical field, etc. This is enough to make anyone depressed. I am more than 7 weeks benzo free now, and I have to say that I am having as much good hours/days as hard ones. The physical symptoms are much less intense; I am dealing more with anxiety, emotions, and depression. But, good days have come and I have tasted what it will be like without withdrawals. This is definately not an overnight fix, but try to hold on, do a slower taper this time, and you can get some times of relief to carry you thru this.

 

Lori

[[sk...]]

 

Hi T2, thank you for continuing encouragement. I am finding I'm feeling like just stopping this stuff again. A sucker for punishment or what eh? I know it's not a good idea but I wonder if I've made myself start over or if it truly will get better? Just more wondering with the what ifs I suppose. I am amazed at how many people continuously keep coming here for help which is good they find BB but I can't believe they still hand these out. Will they ever learn?

 

Hi Lori, congrats on the senior moderator position. I hope I have that right. I'm not keeping up with the posts as much as I was due to trying to get sleep most of the times. I feel so heavy is the only way to describe and hate the waking up feeling to start feeling the w/d b.s. over and over again. I know what you mean by just wanting to go out in the world and live again. I'm so happy you are benzo free for 7 weeks now and glad you are having better times!!!

[[sk...]]

 

I am having a hard time trying to decipher all of the different benzos and their half lives and their strengths etc. I hope whom ever is trying to help me with this can forgive me for all of this :'(

 

I am not seeming to become tolerant to the dose I'm on since Feb. 13 of my clonazapam which has been 1mg 3x a day. It seems to wear off very quickly but I suffer it out until the next dose. I want so much to stabilize so I can begin to make my tapers. I was wondering if because I have been on it for so long that I probably won't (and because I c/t already) become better with my reinstating? I was wondering if I should add more to it as I really can't see my doc switching me to Valium. Or maybe if I had a plan with the Valium on it to do a taper and then a titration with it maybe then he would help me. It's just that I see so many have done this with the clonaz/klon, I just assume they are both the same.

 

Please forgive me for such confusion here as I really can't think. I look at the Ashton Manual and all the different meds and their dosages/half lives and for the life of me I just can't grasp all of it. I am trying so hard, wondering if I should just c/t again but I honestly know I will not be able to go thru that again.

 

thank you again for all of your help and I hope I am on the right board?

[[bo...]]

Hi Scooter-Just thought I would let you know that the stabbing feeling right in the middle of the chest is a withdrawl symptom-I have that along with gut spasms-pins and needles-short temper-agitation-frustration -anxietyI'm sick of this crap-ola feelings -I'm sorry you're  having such  ahard time-If you feel like your not stabilizing you could talk to your doctor about switching to diazepam(valium) If he  is giving you the K he might give you the valium-Remember I told you I ct xanax-then reinstated after a month and a half-It just seemed like xanax did't work anymore-after about two months a shrink put me on K and it took about another two months to stabilize-If you do try to get your Dr. to switch you to valium go in armed with the facts-there are substitution plans that are available on the crossovers-If your are taking 3mg. of K -thats equivalent to 60mg of valium-(you can see how much weaker valium is than Klonopin)-Remember I'm not telling you what to do and am not a doctor but I dare say most people on this sight know a hell of a lot more about benzos than most doctors-I swear most of them(DOCTORS) were asleep in pharmacology class-of course the older ones  are not going to be up on them like the younger ones-my doctor is my age(56) and she doesnt have a clue about tapering-I'm going to ask her next time if she would do a cross to valium if i thought i needed it-no matter what -don't give up and think about what I said-your friend-JIM

[[sk...]]

 

Thanks Jim for the encouragement again. I know you're not a doc but I trust so many people on here as they know what they are talking about compared to the docs who know nothing of these poisons they are putting us and many on daily which still flabbergasts me to no end. I'm having problems with my daughter now being put on so many different meds and you think she would see what they have done to me over the yrs. but she listens to the docs and keeps saying it won't happen to me and I'm sobbing over it as I don't ever want to have my children go thru all I've been thru over the yrs. which all started with seeing a pdoc.

 

Anyways, sorry for crying on your shoulder. I just feel so stuck. And having a willing doc that wants to work with you just seems to not be in my books as I've been searching for the last yr and half with no help when I asked so many for w/d help which is the saddest part of all as docs are supposed to be there for you with whatever you chose to do with YOUR OWN HEALTH REGIMINE.

 

It's late again here and maybe I can sleep hahaha, the vibrations are strong inside of me and I took the meds. It's why I'm wondering if I should try and change or just give up and suffer again with the c/t as I'd be another week into it if I hadn't started, but then I wanted to end it all. Just makes you wonder how the hell we are to make it thru this.

 

Have a good one