What is happening in your brain?

[[ea...]]

Well, Parker, thanks for trying to explain. I just have a lot of doubts about all supllements right now. My medical training may be tripping me up but thats ok.

Sorry you are "waving," and glad you now know it will pass with time.

eastcoast

[[Sk...]]

I have been tapering at 2% for a while and I tried a 10% taper and feel so much better now.  Why?!

Could it be because I am in tolerance withdraw?

[[Du...]]

I must admit you will probably not respect my response. I read your stuff and it absolutely showed that neuroplasticity is truth. There is never a time when hope is not a possibility. Only when one dies without a certain decision is there no hope.

Dude.

[[Du...]]

I will elaborate.I was diagnosed with a paranoia that could not be distinguished as a particular mental illness. I was placed on an antipsychotic.(brain suicide). I quit that cold turkey. was never meant for my condition which was BDD at the time. I was a musician. I was good. I did not play for almost ten years. I got off and healed. For some mysterious reason I now have the ability to see the fretboard and the piano keys in a whole different way. This med bypassed certain parts of my brain. My brain made new connections. I picked up music again in 2011 and progressed so fast. I was good before, but now was seeing and hearing in a whole new way. It was great. I plan on classical guitar. Music is math. I will skateboard again as well. I was good. Not good balance now. It will correct itself.

I also was able to read a billboard and picture it days later and recall the phone number. Every word I write I see in my head before I write it. This is coming back as well.

My point is not I am awesome, but years of substance abuse has changed my mind. It is now coming back almost better then it was. Amazing. The right diet and refraining from harmful things is key. I thank you. I love this stuff.

Dude The Procrastinator.

 

[[pr...]]

that is awesome Dude!

i am a musician too and i am hoping that my brain will bypass all the this trauma and i will play like i've been practicing every waking hour in the last ten years of tolerance w/d. and now after the c/t i haven't been to the piano--maybe one time. i am waiting for more Gaba to actually sit and resume where i left off. waiting!!

[[Ho...]]

Dude,

 

I love your approach. Yes, neuroplasticity IS truth.

 

While the physical process of withdrawal is uncomfortable, we are all basically getting an opportunity to rebuild our neural pathways and sort of... Start fresh when it comes to our perspective and stress management.... If we choose to rebuild, that is.

[[Du...]]

Rad! Sorry to sound like a skate rat but that is what I am. Major creativity flowed from early skateboarding. Just Been watching old vids Trying to reconnect with my youth took the wrong path

I see a Naturopath from a highly respected place. Bastyr university. When I was not drinking I basically cleared my self of almost all my demons. Healing through food and vitamins.

I jumped back on the train(substance abuse) through happenstance. I do have a prescription for my valium. I hope not to be chastised for my belief in this. Taurine. I have been on less then half of my normal dose all day because of this non essential amino acid. It is really cheap too.

You can create more gaba. I may be overstepping the line but am well versed in natural medicine.(went through hell by scripts of well meaning doctors who don't understand that drugs just mask the problem) If I get erased hopefully you read this before. look up all you can on orthomolecular medicine. Or just message me. I know what works. Half of anxiety is untreated hypoglycemia(a lot of times) Benzos mess up your brain for sure. You will heal both of you!!!

I choose destruction and the wellness. This time We all must make  our minds up to choose wellness. This may include many sacrifices. Such as food, some types of music and destructive relationships, to name a few.  Thanks for the reply buddies. I am shy so be my buddie. I was on facekook but kept getting deleted for dumb pranks. Learned my lesson. Don't know how this buddie system works. It worked in school though so....

[[pr...]]

Hey Dude,

 

i actually think that out of all the amino's and supplement, taurine is something i've been wanting to try. although i haven't really wanted to take anything as i've been way too sick. and everyone on here say to not take any supplements for awhile or until healed as it could postpone healing. i read in a benzo book that Marlo Thomas, the actress had a long ten year addiction to valium and she took taurine. it said it helped with the vibrations and i still have that. what would be a good brand to take?

 

pretty

[[...]]

I tried taurine and couldn't tell any effect

Bart the Lab Rat

[[Du...]]

Prettydaisys  capsule form is always best. At this moment I have the brand Now 1000 mg. I take up to three grams or more at a time. Where you live I am sure you can find a good store or look up Super Supplements online or even Amazon.

Sorry it did not work for you Bart.

[[ih...]]

I am taking 3 Gs of the NOW caps. I'm on too many supps to be able to accurately attribute what difference the taurine is making but as you say Dude, there is real science behind taurine & GABA so I think it's worth boosting the ingredients for the GABA soup just in case taurine is one of the rate limiting chemicals.

 

I haven't noticed any side fx but your CNS is super sensitive, Pretty so it's harder to know if it's worth taking a risk, OTH, you may feel that you can't get much worse.

 

The only supp for which I am definitely able to track positive results has been inositol. I can still identify a decrease in sx if I updose this supp.

 

[[Du...]]

Check out a manufacturer online called Bio recovery. The product is Alpha Waves. You will be able to see the list of ingredients. It has taurine l-theanine , inositol as well as other proven ingredients for some. Also Gaba ease by vitanica. I have been at this for so long that its hard for me to fathom those that say extra supplements are harmful. Have not read the Ashton manual lately. Even if she were to say this I would disagree through experience.

Try stuff. If it doesn't work for you then you are out some dough.

[[pr...]]

i will definitely check out those two company's/ kinda afraid to take any Gaba though.

but i would try the taurine/L-theanine and inositol i do have some inositol by Jarrow. i like the way it tastes.

[[Ho...]]

Parker has recommended vitamin d3 in another post I'm going to start that today.

Dr's Best vitamin D3 1000iu  two x a day,  To start out.

 

Hopenow for healing of all.

[[Ji...]]

 

 

Thanks, JJ. This is really sweet of you to ask.

 

I still have many symptoms - just not as many and not to the intensity that I used to have them. I also have great periods and then waves, too. I often don't post and post about the waves, just becuase I'm kinda used to this now and I need less forum support because of the familiarity. But I USED to post for support quite a bit.  I do have a few friends that have been through this that I speak to offline and that helps, too.

 

Overall - I hate this, but I am having windows - so that makes it SOMEWHAT easier. I had an awesome window a few days ago - and now I"m in a wave from a simple cold virus.  I didn't expect it, and I don't like it, but I can't do anything but wait it out. And I find it tiresome to complain too much - especially on the forum - it's not my style. So that's just that!  If there is anything I have learned in this, it's that there WILL be another good day soon.  I don't know when, but that is the pattern. So I don't waste too much mental energy lamenting these days.  I might cry and watch TV and eat cupcakes, - I have learned not to push it - and that I can't change it - but it IS really awesome to wake up in a window. That's for sure.    So I just wait around for one of those.

Just last week, I was running 3 miles at a time - and here I am waving out in bed. LOL.  That's the nature of it. 

 

I'm glad you asked - just because it lets other people see that I'm not totally healed and that my patterns is good and bad, just like everyone else.

 

So yeah - I've waving and I have a nasty cold - and that has kicked my CNS to the curb. But hopefully I'll be out running again soon. 

I think that's the part of trying to accept it at this point that is helpful. I know there is nothing I can do - but I expect it will change in awhile - when it's ready.

 

:)Parker

 

Hi Parker,

 

Im wondering how your doing today?

You're so right about the nature of the beast. one day jogging miles then bed-ridden just about describes it, although I'm not at the jogging stage, I'm barely at the going out the door stage. I am experiencing the big waves of depression you talk about so Im guessing I'm healing?! Im doing the 'sitting in a bath and sobbing.' thing pretty much every evening at 7.30pm. strange how its almost on the dot.

The whole crying uncontrollably thing really isn't like me and its difficult to come to terms with but acceptance really is the only way forward.

 

I hope your wave isnt lasting ages. I am having small windows but have yet to come off the Z drug in two weeks time......so scared.

 

I really hope youre feeling better

 

xxx JJ

[[ai...]]

parker,

 

Thanks so much for this post! Don't know how I missed it back in Oct...probably thought I'd already read it!  It's so informative and since I'm in a window even more easy to grasp. Love how you described everything for us laymen...wonderful!!! I've only read the first few pages so there's plenty more I need to catch up on...

 

Thanks again!!

[[br...]]

I'm so glad I ran into this post! Just really helped lift me up this week! 

[[af...]]

Dear Parker. Thank you for gifting us all with this post! It is amazing. So glad you were able to write it!

I hope you are doing better today.

I saw that you had been running 3 miles a day until you caught a cold. I am assuming that exercise does not rev your symptoms up? I have wanted to start jogging. I am a little afraid it will cause side effects. My body seems to be telling me to "run" Do you have thoughts on how to know if exercise will be good or bad for a person? I know theoretically it's supposed to good for everyone...but can cause a wave if done in recovery...

Thoughts?

Take care and you feel better.

Blessings

Afighter

[[fl...]]

This is the most profound logical outstanding theory that has been written about benzo withdrawal. It has helped me tremendously come to peace with what is going on. Thank you so much for writing this incredible theory in a lay mans term. Bless you.

[[Ho...]]

As the d/p and d/r starts to subside my brain feels swollen and my head feels stuffed with cotton above my eyes. It hurts to think..

I feel like a boxer who's been in the ring to long..it's cog fog but to the extreme.

 

Hopenow 

[[pa...]]

I'm to the point now where I'm seeing and feeling a direct 1:1 correlation with windows and symptoms from Vitamin D and magnesium. I have spent months in trial-and-error - and I want to share what I have learned in my experience, in hopes it helps someone else.

 

Bear with me, this post is long.  But it necessary to highlight both the benefits - AND the potential challenges that I have learned.

 

So – about a year off, I started taking Magnesium. I took 200mg of Magnesium Glycinate in the morning and 200mg at night.  It ONLY ever helped me.  Never revved me.  It has a calming effect on the nervous system.  So I wasn’t worried. Overall, it didn’t have any noticeable appreciable change for me at that point in healing, other than it could help bring my heart rate down in a wave – exceptionally well – (from 90 to 65 in about 45 minutes), but not much else. And it DID help akathisia when I had it.

 

Magnesium is the body’s natural calcium channel blocker, natural glutamate blocker (yes! It is! – Read up on Dr. Blaylock neurosurgeon) – and the body’s natural muscle relaxer.

 

However – it is EASILY depleted by ANY physical or emotional stress, exercise, or anything traumatic. So – I KNOW  I am deficient in it – with withdrawal healing taking place!  When I took it, I could TELL I felt better, but just a little better. Again – this was at 12 months off and only taking 400mg a day.

 

Now – why bother to take magnesium at all? Can’t I just get it in a balanced diet in my food?

The hard thing is that it’s HARD to get enough magnesium in food – by a long shot.  The RDA for magnesium is 400mg a day, which – go google it – is VERY tough to get on average in foods. You’d have to eat that much each day every day, and that’s on NORMAL days – not counting the stress of healing!  Not to mention that most produce is no longer grown in magnesium-rich soil, so the studies show that even if a food “has” magnesium in it, it is only the case if the farmer is actually going to lengths to enrich the mass-farming soil with magnesium between crops.  And this is not done.

So – it’s hard to get magnesium in food.  Period.  The estimate is that 80% of the average person is deficient in magnesium – much less those under extreme stress.

 

So – I was convinced on all levels that magnesium would help me.

 

So – what about taking it in a pill?  Are all magnesium types equal?

 

In short, no.  Magnesium in a pill form (not in food form)  is larger than a cell, no matter how it’s digested.  So – magnesium can’t easily get INTO the cell where it needs to be. 

 

There are several types of magnesium – and you’ve heard of them probably – and they re all absorbed differently depending on the type.  Anything that ISN’T absorbed into cells goes to the colon where it draws water and creates loose stool.  The better absorbed it is, the less likely it will create loose stool, because it’s going to the body and NOT to the colon.  What I learned is that of the types out there, magnesium oxide is only 4% absorbed (and usually great, therefore, for constipation, because it goes right through you). Magnesium citrate is BETTER absorbed, but same thing. There are several types of magnesium, but the kind I LOVE that I have been taking for the past 6 months is magnesium glycinate.  Glycinate is between 20-40% absorbed (from the different reading) – still nowhere near 100%, but better than oxide. 

 

Glycinate is a “chelated’ form of magnesium, and it is probably the most well-absorbed in a pill that you can buy.  Why?  Glycine is a VERY small amino acid.  (It happens to also be the second most abundant inhibitory neurotransmitter, second to GABA!)

Because it is so small, it easily slips into the cell.  Now – when they CHELATE the magnesium with the glycine, they attach them together – so that when the glycine is absorbed, it pulls the magnesium in WITH it.  And that is why this type of magnesium is so well absorbed.

 

After a lot of reading, I made sure to get a bottle of “Albion” mag glycinate. This is NOT the brand of the product, but it is the mineral company that patented the chelation process- so that the magnesium WILL in fact be absorbed and not excreted.  Lots of bottles say “Magnesium Glycinate” but if it is not “Albion” patented, then it may be false labeling as far as how much of the product will be absorbed.  I have called and spoken with Albion minerals myself at this point.

 

The BRAND I do buy, that has worked well and is 100% Albion patented glycinate is “Doctor’s Best 100% Chelated Magnesium”.  I have tried others. This is the one that works for me.

 

Okay – back to the magnesium.  So – I took this 400mg and sometimes 600mg  day for the past 6 months.  Even then, at only 40% max absorption, I was really only getting 200-300mg a day tops.  Mind you, it helped, but it could NOT overcome the abundance of glutamate I still had. I have been healing. What it DID do was to begin to replenish my magnesium stores, but everyday, I burned through the magnesium between doses. I could tell dramatically that I needed more magnesium.  My stools were never loose at any of these doses, by the way, which is often a sign that you have had “too much” magnesium. I have never had “too much”.

 

Finally – after a lot of nutritional reading, I stumbled upon Vitamin D and the many many people that were "curing" many of their neurochemical issues with it, including chronic pain, insomnia, depression, etc. – and I realized that I was likely deficient in this because I am hardly ever outdoors and was inside in the dark for a year already.  On top of that, Vitamin D “activates” magnesium – and vice-versa.  And I thought ‘ Maybe this is a part of the missing piece.” 

 

So – at 16 months off, I started taking 6000iU of Vitamin D a day.  I do NOT recommend this dose.  But I DID benefit from this HUGELY.

 

Here was my experience.  So – day 1, I took 8000iu of vitamin D and magnesium together.  I felt like the floodgates opened. I got an IMMEDIATE sense of well-being and calm and my “head congestion” (from glutamate, I know it) CLEARED. I felt a huge window.  It wasn’t a TOTAL window – I still had d/r – but it was MUCH lighter.  I started having my windows everyday from this – about an hour after I took it.  It was like a miracle.

 

I settled at 5000iu  WITH magnesium a day.  I felt amazing every day.  I was running.  SO much good energy. My husband started on this, too – and he told me he went to work everyday and no longer felt an afternoon slump – or tired at all. He is still taking 5000iu a day with no problem.  My parents both take this same dose and have for years.

 

HOWEVER – for ME – 5000iu soon became too much.  One day, about 3 weeks in, I got diarrhea, dry mouth, a metallic taste that I have never had before, headache, heart palpiations and crushing fatigue.  Come to find out, I had taken TOO much D for me.  I was having classic Vitamin D side effects.  Here is what I learned:

 

Vitamin D is  a fat-soluable vitamin that "builds up". Unlike most vitamins that when you take too much are just excreted in urine, vitamin D is STORED in fat.  This is good because you don't need "daily" sun to always get enough D stores.  You can "make" 10,000iu in one session in the sun, and it will store up.  However, when you are supplementing with D, that can build up soon and you can be pushed over the edge and have 'too much D". Also, vitamin D REQUIRES magnesium to activate in  the body - so the excess D will PULL the magnesium from your body to process. Therefore,  side effects can occur if a person has an underlying magnesium deficiency! (this is me in withdrawal- duh!)  (This is all on the Vitamin D council’s website.)  And also – vitamin D has about a 1-2 month halflife in the body.  So – where the 5000 in the beginning was amazing for me, it soon built up too quickly and was not being used as fast as it was building up.  So – I overdid it. 

 

For a week, I felt like CRAP.  Too much D had the opposite effect of a D deficiency. 

I wondered how long this would last.

BUT - A week after I stopped taking the D or eating foods rich in D, and as soon as I increased my magnesium, I started getting that RUSH again. And the side effects are no gone.  As long as I keep up with magnesium, I get the same earlier benefit.

 

At this point, I have PLENTY of D stored in my body, so I am taking NONE.  But I bumped my magnesium up to 800mg a day – and now I have that same “rush” and awesome feeling – because the magnesium is “activating” the stored vitamin D.

 

If I had to do it ALL over again, I would have taken ONLY 1000- 2000iu of vitamin D a day. It probably would have taken me a month to see a benefit, because it would have had to build up to a certain level, but because of the long half life, I would have been able to skip the side effects from going too high initially.

 

I would NEVER take D without magnesium. 

 

Once my D levels fall, I will begin supplementing again, but at 1000iu a day and no more. That is all I can tolerate. 

 

I am windowing almost every day, as long as I get the 600-800mg of magnesium. And only now that I have high enough D levels.  Why is this happening?  I believe its’ a combination of being able to make enough serotonin and dopamine. On top of the fact that magnesium is a natural glutamate blocker. 

 

This has taken me a few months to figure out.

 

What do I think overall?

 

First off – I have to say with a caveat, that this is MY experience – and that I am learning as I go (just like everyone else). I cannot make recommendations, but I am happy to share my experience for anyone who wants to read it. So – I will list my experience in first person. 

 

1) I am woefully deficient in magnesium because of withdrawal stress and healing.  It takes EVERY bit of it I have to try and balance my healing body. I started at 400mg a day, but I will now take 600-800mg a day, realizing that even then, because of absorption percentages, this is likely really only 300-400mg being absorbed.  I take it 3-4 times a day to space out the dose.

 

2) I will continue to take vitamin D.  I feel I was VERY deficient in this. From my reading and research, there are many reasons why this combination is helping me.  HOWEVER, I also learned that I took TOO much vitamin D – and that it builds up fast and has a half-life in the body. So – I will be more conservative in my doses going forward.  Many many people take 5000iu a day, but they may not have the magnesium deficiency I have.  Therefore, at this point in healing, 5000iu a day is too much for me.  I will start again at 1000-2000iu once I am sure the side effects from too much of it have lessened and my D stores have fallen naturally.

 

3)  If I could go back and do this all over again, I would have started magnesium (not D)at the beginning of withdrawal just to try and help my body. I know it would have made no difference in my symptoms because I was TOO sick and had TOO far to go to notice a little change from magnesium AT THAT TIME. However – giving my body magnesium early on would have been helpful for my CNS.  I was getting none in food and I had burned through all of it with the extreme, extreme stress.  I would have supplemented 800mg a day hands down.  But I didn’t learn this until much later. 

 

3) I don’t mind and will not be surprised if other people simply think I am “windowing” because of my time frame in healing. To that idea, I will say this:   I DO think that time has 90% to do with it, as I just could not have had this kind of effect from D and magnesium a year ago.  There had to be a point where enough GABA was building back up and glutamate was winding down for the natural neurotransmitter effects of these substances TO make a difference. Surely, if I had 10000% overabundance of glutamate a year ago, magnesium and D alone would not have been able to “neutralize” that.  However – from my healing, it FEELS like I am now on the fence and have maybe 10% too much glutamate – much less – and in that, it feels directly like the magnesium is helping to block it. As long as I take at LEAST 600-800mg a day of magnesium and the D, I notice my head clears, I can smell, things look and feel warm and comforting, and things feel “beach balmy” instead of stressful. It is a 1:1 correlation for me at this point – and I have experimented with it for awhile.  I had none of these good feelings once I started having side effect, but after playing with the dose a week, the feelings came back – and it is a direct correlation.  I know some folks won’t believe me.  That’s okay. I can’t prove it  in any other way but that intuitively, I absolutely know this is what is going on – and why.

 

Here are the things that I read and the people I spoke with in the past month to help me come to the conclusions I did about magnesium and D….

 

a) Dr. Blaylock – retired neurosurgeion who wrote “Excitoxicity – the Taste That Kills” – He speaks about magnesium being a natural glutamate blocker and calcium-channel blocker that keeps nerves from over-firing. (I’m paraphrasing.) He has a video with this same name that is a one-hour lecture on YouTube.  It is worth watching.  I haven’t read the book, but I have ordered it. And the lecture itself is fascinating. It helped me realize, too – that I’m STAYING away from all the MSG or “hidden MSG” in foods- as I DO rev from it, but didn’t realize that MSG has SO many names (hydrolyzed protein, modified starch – this is ALL excess glutamate, which even an AVERAGE person can’t handle, much less me in withdrawal where I ALREADY have too much free glutamate.)

 

b) Dr. Carolyn Dean’s book “The Magnesium Miracle” – I have emailed her directly and she and I have spoken several times. She answered all my questions and was very helpful

 

c) Dr. J Cannell – President of the Vitamin D Council – He ALSO has videos on YouTube and he himself designed and sells an “Advanced Vitamin D” product (NOT the one I take) that contains 5000iu of Vitamin D. Again – this was too much for me, but from the reviews of his product (made by Purity Products) – people LOVE this product. I think I couldn’t handle this much vitamin D because of my underlying issue with magnesium and being consistently depleted in this healing process. So I have learned that the “right dose” of D must be highly individual. Nevertheless, one can read up about Vitamin D on the Vitamin D Council’s webpage, as well as watch videos on YouTube where Dr. Cannell and other physicians lecture about D.

 

d) Finally – I just read and read as much research as I could on PubMed about magnesium and D as it related to brain injury, anxiety and depression, nervous system disorders, and neurochemistry. There are so many studies I cross-referenced, that I can’t list them all here.  But one that stands out to me is this one- and there are so many more and so much research.

 

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/?term=16542786

 

It all clicked for me. And YES – it is helping me.  I wouldn’t spend all this time sharing about it – including my mistakes and learning experiences, if I did not feel convinced.

 

Finally – yes – I am still taking the Fish Oil – but now I am taking the kind WITHOUT Vitamin D added. I may have been positively responding to the D in the fish oil months ago and not realizing that is what I was responding to. But the omegas in the fish oil also suppress inflammatory cytokines, so I still think it is beneficial. But my biggest benefit to date has come from the vitamin D and magnesium. Hands down.

 

I hope this helps some other folks.

 

Please feel FREE to comment, banter, disagree, or ponder.  I continue to feel that examining and questioning these topics from all sides is healthy and warranted. The more we research and learn together, even if it involved trial-and-error, the more we can work together as a community and maybe eventually help others that are trying to get off these drugs and rebuild their bodies.

 

 

FINALLY - if NOTHING else - if I was scared to try D, I would have laid out in the sun for at least 4 days a week at least 30 minutes with most of my skin exposed - to MAKE the D - without the pill.  But I would take the Magnesium from day 1 - hands down.  At this point, I have learned that a little D can go a long way once it builds up - but that the combination of D and magnesium can go a long way towards CNS symptoms. 

 

It would be interesting to create a research project where people are able to supplement with daily IV magnesium treatment to see how soon the effects of ENOUGH magnesium could make a dent in the healing process.  Say - 2 groups in withdrawal - 100 people each. Give one group daily magnesium IV's to replenish lost stores on an ongoing basis-and give the control group saline in an IV - and compare symptoms and post-withdrawal healing times.

 

Because magnesium likely is COMPLETELY obliterated in this process for most of us - I am starting to wonder if it actually DOES promote healing - and that time might not be the only component.  I am starting to whole-heartedly believe that certain targeted minerals can have an effect on healing. I know that is a bold statement, so I am prepared for an onslaught of argument   But I am experiencing such good windows, that if I were a researcher, I would set this up as a study.

 

Much love and light,

 

Parker

 

[[Ma...]]

Unbelievably helpful Parker!  So many people have posted about supplements and their arguments have never been as sound as this.  My issues definitely feel like an overabundance of glutamate.  I printed out your original post here about what is happening in my brain and I carry it with me wherever I go.  It absolutely validates everything that I still experience at two years out (though not as intense).  It may be time for me to try mag glycinate and D again and see if it helps me--I haven't taken any supplements in 3 years.  I appreciate your thoroughness in researching what will actually work vs. what will just end up in the toilet.  Thank you so much!

 

Mary

[[pa...]]

I'm to the point now where I'm seeing and feeling a direct 1:1 correlation with windows and symptoms from Vitamin D and magnesium. I have spent months in trial-and-error - and I want to share what I have learned in my experience, in hopes it helps someone else.

 

Bear with me, this post is long.  But it necessary to highlight both the benefits - AND the potential challenges that I have learned.

 

So – about a year off, I started taking Magnesium. I took 200mg of Magnesium Glycinate in the morning and 200mg at night.  It ONLY ever helped me.  Never revved me.  It has a calming effect on the nervous system.  So I wasn’t worried. Overall, it didn’t have any noticeable appreciable change for me at that point in healing, other than it could help bring my heart rate down in a wave – exceptionally well – (from 90 to 65 in about 45 minutes), but not much else. And it DID help akathisia when I had it.

 

Magnesium is the body’s natural calcium channel blocker, natural glutamate blocker (yes! It is! – Read up on Dr. Blaylock neurosurgeon) – and the body’s natural muscle relaxer.

 

However – it is EASILY depleted by ANY physical or emotional stress, exercise, or anything traumatic. So – I KNOW  I am deficient in it – with withdrawal healing taking place!  When I took it, I could TELL I felt better, but just a little better. Again – this was at 12 months off and only taking 400mg a day.

 

Now – why bother to take magnesium at all? Can’t I just get it in a balanced diet in my food?

The hard thing is that it’s HARD to get enough magnesium in food – by a long shot.  The RDA for magnesium is 400mg a day, which – go google it – is VERY tough to get on average in foods. You’d have to eat that much each day every day, and that’s on NORMAL days – not counting the stress of healing!  Not to mention that most produce is no longer grown in magnesium-rich soil, so the studies show that even if a food “has” magnesium in it, it is only the case if the farmer is actually going to lengths to enrich the mass-farming soil with magnesium between crops.  And this is not done.

So – it’s hard to get magnesium in food.  Period.  The estimate is that 80% of the average person is deficient in magnesium – much less those under extreme stress.

 

So – I was convinced on all levels that magnesium would help me.

 

So – what about taking it in a pill?  Are all magnesium types equal?

 

In short, no.  Magnesium in a pill form (not in food form)  is larger than a cell, no matter how it’s digested.  So – magnesium can’t easily get INTO the cell where it needs to be. 

 

There are several types of magnesium – and you’ve heard of them probably – and they re all absorbed differently depending on the type.  Anything that ISN’T absorbed into cells goes to the colon where it draws water and creates loose stool.  The better absorbed it is, the less likely it will create loose stool, because it’s going to the body and NOT to the colon.  What I learned is that of the types out there, magnesium oxide is only 4% absorbed (and usually great, therefore, for constipation, because it goes right through you). Magnesium citrate is BETTER absorbed, but same thing. There are several types of magnesium, but the kind I LOVE that I have been taking for the past 6 months is magnesium glycinate.  Glycinate is between 20-40% absorbed (from the different reading) – still nowhere near 100%, but better than oxide. 

 

Glycinate is a “chelated’ form of magnesium, and it is probably the most well-absorbed in a pill that you can buy.  Why?  Glycine is a VERY small amino acid.  (It happens to also be the second most abundant inhibitory neurotransmitter, second to GABA!)

Because it is so small, it easily slips into the cell.  Now – when they CHELATE the magnesium with the glycine, they attach them together – so that when the glycine is absorbed, it pulls the magnesium in WITH it.  And that is why this type of magnesium is so well absorbed.

 

After a lot of reading, I made sure to get a bottle of “Albion” mag glycinate. This is NOT the brand of the product, but it is the mineral company that patented the chelation process- so that the magnesium WILL in fact be absorbed and not excreted.  Lots of bottles say “Magnesium Glycinate” but if it is not “Albion” patented, then it may be false labeling as far as how much of the product will be absorbed.  I have called and spoken with Albion minerals myself at this point.

 

The BRAND I do buy, that has worked well and is 100% Albion patented glycinate is “Doctor’s Best 100% Chelated Magnesium”.  I have tried others. This is the one that works for me.

 

Okay – back to the magnesium.  So – I took this 400mg and sometimes 600mg  day for the past 6 months.  Even then, at only 40% max absorption, I was really only getting 200-300mg a day tops.  Mind you, it helped, but it could NOT overcome the abundance of glutamate I still had. I have been healing. What it DID do was to begin to replenish my magnesium stores, but everyday, I burned through the magnesium between doses. I could tell dramatically that I needed more magnesium.  My stools were never loose at any of these doses, by the way, which is often a sign that you have had “too much” magnesium. I have never had “too much”.

 

Finally – after a lot of nutritional reading, I stumbled upon Vitamin D and the many many people that were "curing" many of their neurochemical issues with it, including chronic pain, insomnia, depression, etc. – and I realized that I was likely deficient in this because I am hardly ever outdoors and was inside in the dark for a year already.  On top of that, Vitamin D “activates” magnesium – and vice-versa.  And I thought ‘ Maybe this is a part of the missing piece.” 

 

So – at 16 months off, I started taking 6000iU of Vitamin D a day.  I do NOT recommend this dose.  But I DID benefit from this HUGELY.

 

Here was my experience.  So – day 1, I took 8000iu of vitamin D and magnesium together.  I felt like the floodgates opened. I got an IMMEDIATE sense of well-being and calm and my “head congestion” (from glutamate, I know it) CLEARED. I felt a huge window.  It wasn’t a TOTAL window – I still had d/r – but it was MUCH lighter.  I started having my windows everyday from this – about an hour after I took it.  It was like a miracle.

 

I settled at 5000iu  WITH magnesium a day.  I felt amazing every day.  I was running.  SO much good energy. My husband started on this, too – and he told me he went to work everyday and no longer felt an afternoon slump – or tired at all. He is still taking 5000iu a day with no problem.  My parents both take this same dose and have for years.

 

HOWEVER – for ME – 5000iu soon became too much.  One day, about 3 weeks in, I got diarrhea, dry mouth, a metallic taste that I have never had before, headache, heart palpiations and crushing fatigue.  Come to find out, I had taken TOO much D for me.  I was having classic Vitamin D side effects.  Here is what I learned:

 

Vitamin D is  a fat-soluable vitamin that "builds up". Unlike most vitamins that when you take too much are just excreted in urine, vitamin D is STORED in fat.  This is good because you don't need "daily" sun to always get enough D stores.  You can "make" 10,000iu in one session in the sun, and it will store up.  However, when you are supplementing with D, that can build up soon and you can be pushed over the edge and have 'too much D". Also, vitamin D REQUIRES magnesium to activate in  the body - so the excess D will PULL the magnesium from your body to process. Therefore,  side effects can occur if a person has an underlying magnesium deficiency! (this is me in withdrawal- duh!)  (This is all on the Vitamin D council’s website.)  And also – vitamin D has about a 1-2 month halflife in the body.  So – where the 5000 in the beginning was amazing for me, it soon built up too quickly and was not being used as fast as it was building up.  So – I overdid it. 

 

For a week, I felt like CRAP.  Too much D had the opposite effect of a D deficiency. 

I wondered how long this would last.

BUT - A week after I stopped taking the D or eating foods rich in D, and as soon as I increased my magnesium, I started getting that RUSH again. And the side effects are no gone.  As long as I keep up with magnesium, I get the same earlier benefit.

 

At this point, I have PLENTY of D stored in my body, so I am taking NONE.  But I bumped my magnesium up to 800mg a day – and now I have that same “rush” and awesome feeling – because the magnesium is “activating” the stored vitamin D.

 

If I had to do it ALL over again, I would have taken ONLY 1000- 2000iu of vitamin D a day. It probably would have taken me a month to see a benefit, because it would have had to build up to a certain level, but because of the long half life, I would have been able to skip the side effects from going too high initially.

 

I would NEVER take D without magnesium. 

 

Once my D levels fall, I will begin supplementing again, but at 1000iu a day and no more. That is all I can tolerate. 

 

I am windowing almost every day, as long as I get the 600-800mg of magnesium. And only now that I have high enough D levels.  Why is this happening?  I believe its’ a combination of being able to make enough serotonin and dopamine. On top of the fact that magnesium is a natural glutamate blocker. 

 

This has taken me a few months to figure out.

 

What do I think overall?

 

First off – I have to say with a caveat, that this is MY experience – and that I am learning as I go (just like everyone else). I cannot make recommendations, but I am happy to share my experience for anyone who wants to read it. So – I will list my experience in first person. 

 

1) I am woefully deficient in magnesium because of withdrawal stress and healing.  It takes EVERY bit of it I have to try and balance my healing body. I started at 400mg a day, but I will now take 600-800mg a day, realizing that even then, because of absorption percentages, this is likely really only 300-400mg being absorbed.  I take it 3-4 times a day to space out the dose.

 

2) I will continue to take vitamin D.  I feel I was VERY deficient in this. From my reading and research, there are many reasons why this combination is helping me.  HOWEVER, I also learned that I took TOO much vitamin D – and that it builds up fast and has a half-life in the body. So – I will be more conservative in my doses going forward.  Many many people take 5000iu a day, but they may not have the magnesium deficiency I have.  Therefore, at this point in healing, 5000iu a day is too much for me.  I will start again at 1000-2000iu once I am sure the side effects from too much of it have lessened and my D stores have fallen naturally.

 

3)  If I could go back and do this all over again, I would have started magnesium (not D)at the beginning of withdrawal just to try and help my body. I know it would have made no difference in my symptoms because I was TOO sick and had TOO far to go to notice a little change from magnesium AT THAT TIME. However – giving my body magnesium early on would have been helpful for my CNS.  I was getting none in food and I had burned through all of it with the extreme, extreme stress.  I would have supplemented 800mg a day hands down.  But I didn’t learn this until much later. 

 

3) I don’t mind and will not be surprised if other people simply think I am “windowing” because of my time frame in healing. To that idea, I will say this:   I DO think that time has 90% to do with it, as I just could not have had this kind of effect from D and magnesium a year ago.  There had to be a point where enough GABA was building back up and glutamate was winding down for the natural neurotransmitter effects of these substances TO make a difference. Surely, if I had 10000% overabundance of glutamate a year ago, magnesium and D alone would not have been able to “neutralize” that.  However – from my healing, it FEELS like I am now on the fence and have maybe 10% too much glutamate – much less – and in that, it feels directly like the magnesium is helping to block it. As long as I take at LEAST 600-800mg a day of magnesium and the D, I notice my head clears, I can smell, things look and feel warm and comforting, and things feel “beach balmy” instead of stressful. It is a 1:1 correlation for me at this point – and I have experimented with it for awhile.  I had none of these good feelings once I started having side effect, but after playing with the dose a week, the feelings came back – and it is a direct correlation.  I know some folks won’t believe me.  That’s okay. I can’t prove it  in any other way but that intuitively, I absolutely know this is what is going on – and why.

 

Here are the things that I read and the people I spoke with in the past month to help me come to the conclusions I did about magnesium and D….

 

a) Dr. Blaylock – retired neurosurgeion who wrote “Excitoxicity – the Taste That Kills” – He speaks about magnesium being a natural glutamate blocker and calcium-channel blocker that keeps nerves from over-firing. (I’m paraphrasing.) He has a video with this same name that is a one-hour lecture on YouTube.  It is worth watching.  I haven’t read the book, but I have ordered it. And the lecture itself is fascinating. It helped me realize, too – that I’m STAYING away from all the MSG or “hidden MSG” in foods- as I DO rev from it, but didn’t realize that MSG has SO many names (hydrolyzed protein, modified starch – this is ALL excess glutamate, which even an AVERAGE person can’t handle, much less me in withdrawal where I ALREADY have too much free glutamate.)

 

b) Dr. Carolyn Dean’s book “The Magnesium Miracle” – I have emailed her directly and she and I have spoken several times. She answered all my questions and was very helpful

 

c) Dr. J Cannell – President of the Vitamin D Council – He ALSO has videos on YouTube and he himself designed and sells an “Advanced Vitamin D” product (NOT the one I take) that contains 5000iu of Vitamin D. Again – this was too much for me, but from the reviews of his product (made by Purity Products) – people LOVE this product. I think I couldn’t handle this much vitamin D because of my underlying issue with magnesium and being consistently depleted in this healing process. So I have learned that the “right dose” of D must be highly individual. Nevertheless, one can read up about Vitamin D on the Vitamin D Council’s webpage, as well as watch videos on YouTube where Dr. Cannell and other physicians lecture about D.

 

d) Finally – I just read and read as much research as I could on PubMed about magnesium and D as it related to brain injury, anxiety and depression, nervous system disorders, and neurochemistry. There are so many studies I cross-referenced, that I can’t list them all here.  But one that stands out to me is this one- and there are so many more and so much research.

 

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/?term=16542786

 

It all clicked for me. And YES – it is helping me.  I wouldn’t spend all this time sharing about it – including my mistakes and learning experiences, if I did not feel convinced.

 

Finally – yes – I am still taking the Fish Oil – but now I am taking the kind WITHOUT Vitamin D added. I may have been positively responding to the D in the fish oil months ago and not realizing that is what I was responding to. But the omegas in the fish oil also suppress inflammatory cytokines, so I still think it is beneficial. But my biggest benefit to date has come from the vitamin D and magnesium. Hands down.

 

I hope this helps some other folks.

 

Please feel FREE to comment, banter, disagree, or ponder.  I continue to feel that examining and questioning these topics from all sides is healthy and warranted. The more we research and learn together, even if it involved trial-and-error, the more we can work together as a community and maybe eventually help others that are trying to get off these drugs and rebuild their bodies.

 

 

FINALLY - if NOTHING else - if I was scared to try D, I would have laid out in the sun for at least 4 days a week at least 30 minutes with most of my skin exposed - to MAKE the D - without the pill.  But I would take the Magnesium from day 1 - hands down.  At this point, I have learned that a little D can go a long way once it builds up - but that the combination of D and magnesium can go a long way towards CNS symptoms. 

 

It would be interesting to create a research project where people are able to supplement with daily IV magnesium treatment to see how soon the effects of ENOUGH magnesium could make a dent in the healing process.  Say - 2 groups in withdrawal - 100 people each. Give one group daily magnesium IV's to replenish lost stores on an ongoing basis-and give the control group saline in an IV - and compare symptoms and post-withdrawal healing times.

 

Because magnesium likely is COMPLETELY obliterated in this process for most of us - I am starting to wonder if it actually DOES promote healing - and that time might not be the only component.  I am starting to whole-heartedly believe that certain targeted minerals can have an effect on healing. I know that is a bold statement, so I am prepared for an onslaught of argument   But I am experiencing such good windows, that if I were a researcher, I would set this up as a study.

 

Much love and light,

 

Parker

 

I want to add that while Magnesium Glycinate (the kind I take) is abou 20-40% absorbed, there IS a better absorbed liquid kind called "pico-ionic magnesium" that is 99% absorbed and was developed by Dr Carolyn Dean (the author of "The Magnesium Miracle" above.  This type of magnesium is smaller than a cell! So it is immediately assimilated. Therefore - she wrote me that 400mg of her pico-ionic is probably comparable to at least 800mg of magnesium glycinate pills. She can't say for sure - but she is estimating based on having taken both types and based on what she knows about glycinate.

 

I just ordered this to try in the next few weeks, so I'll report back.

 

But also - since the pill form of magnesium glycinate is also "glycine" there is a chance that I am getting as much help from the magnesium as the glycine. Glycine is simply what they used to get the magnesium to be better absorbed. But glycine is also a natural inhibitory neurotransmitter - like GABA - so it might be that the glycine is helpful too - whereas the liquid magnesium will NOT have this added component, as it is NOT glycine - it is magnesium chloride.

 

So I will have more info to share once I try it.  The idea behind this is that if I can take the liquid pico-ionic form in larger doses, maybe I can only take it 2 times a day instead of 4 - which would be more convenient for me.

 

:)Parker

[[Ho...]]

Parker - as always thank you for all the information you provide to us...I am very greatful.  I do have a question - I have tried Magnesium - the brand that you recommended and I only took 1/2 of a pill.  About an hour later as I tried to rest, the myoclonic jerks that I get sometimes, hit me pretty severely.  So I am wondering if Magnesium is meant to relax/calm our muscles, what do you thing might have been happening with me.  I have read elsewhere here on BB that some people get revved by magnesium.  I would so like to try it again, but am a bit afraid....is there some reason that magnesium could cause our muscles to be energized like that?  I am also very afraid to try Vitamin D...have read some horror stories about it for some Benzo folks.

  But I am very happy for you that you found something that could and does help you...and thank you so much for sharing it with us. 

Thank you!

Hoping2BFree

[[Ho...]]

PS....and Parker, could it be that I didn't take enough Magnesium ....that a small amount could be detrimental in some say and cause muscle issues?  Just wondering?