What is happening in your brain?

[[Ho...]]

Hi mshna,

 

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time.

 

You won't get much help on this thread as it is mainly informational. I suggest you post your concerns and question on the Withdrawal and Recovery board. If you click this link it will take you right to it:

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?board=55.0

 

You'll get more help there.

 

Good luck to you.

 

Hope1962

[[hu...]]

wow, thank you, i didnt read the whole thing yet but what i did read was really helpful, i especially like the part intended for family members, im 7-8 months benzo free and i am struggling, the body temperature thing, right now similtaneously parts of my body are cold and hot, i often fear that i am actually insane or dying from some undiagnosed condition, then at times, i know im healing and will be whole again someday, and will be reading and re-reading your post because knowledge of what im going through really helps get me through, thank you

[[Go...]]

Hurting.

 

It just takes time just hang in there.  It gets better.  Read the success stories.  There are lots of compelling stories,

 

Golden

[[pa...]]

just having a wishfull thinking of "i wish that i would never had to learn all these. that is "from the actual experience". still going through brain condition changes everyday. it's more than weird. can't pin-point exactly, but there are always something missing.

having another sleepless night. sure miss before benzo life. it wasn't perfect or very happy. but at least, i had my own sanity with a brain that was somewhat normally functioning.

how did i get into this mess? just my stupidity and arrogance of not able to prevent whole this crap. did not need to take the medications.

[[no...]]

we could all second guess our choices that led us here a bazillion times over, pacific o - but we're here. now the key is to find our way out. i'm guessing your were neither stupid nor arrogant. you were trying to treat your suffering. and you went for it the best way you knew how. that's what i did. that's how i ended up in the mess. in the future, we will know, we did not need to take medications. and we will make other choices if anxiety or panic or sleeplessness rear their ugly heads.

so thankful parker wrote this way back when. it just framed things perfectly. it really puts a face to what we are going through in some ways.

be gentle with yourself. we should be gentle with ourselves. we are suffering brain injuries due to medications that are prescribed in ways they should not be. plain and simple. and we will heal.

let's put a whopping dose of that wishful thinking on what it will be like when healing has happened - because that wish will come true.

all the best,

dave

[[In...]]

Ahhhhh, Non-Power dropping in with some always helpful words of wisdom. This message is always so reassuring, I've read it countless times. Good thing it is bumped, I'm having a bad day so need to read it yet again  Hope you're feeling better and better man!

[[pa...]]

brain is not still functioning.

brain has it's own thoughts going on whole day.

it hurts, scary, putting me in despair, misery, anixety, anger, frustration, and. etc..

beginning to think whether i was like this before benzo.

it's bringing in all the old bad memories. not the pleasant ones. can't think logically or rationally. this has been going on for a long time now. month or two? i do not recall.

actually, i do not recognize myself either.

[[On...]]

brain is not still functioning.

brain has it's own thoughts going on whole day.

it hurts, scary, putting me in despair, misery, anixety, anger, frustration, and. etc..

beginning to think whether i was like this before benzo.

it's bringing in all the old bad memories. not the pleasant ones. can't think logically or rationally. this has been going on for a long time now. month or two? i do not recall.

actually, i do not recognize myself either.

 

P.O., what do you do to augment the healing of your neurotransmitters, if anything?  Are you eating well and getting lots of good nutrients, eating healthy fatty acids to rebuild myelin that sheaths and protects the nerves, walking or using a rebounder, taking any supplements, doing things to distract yourself while you are so terribly miserable?

 

It's just a thought, but the gentle stepping action on a rebounder (miniature trampoline) along with the cross action of arm swinging or pumping, helps activate and build neuronal pathways. It is the same principal why it is so important for babies to crawl and why babies and young children with physically limiting disabilities have physical therapists lay them on their backs and cross pump arms and legs. This action actually prevents neuronal deterioration and helps build neuronal health.

 

My husband bought me a rebounder when I got where I could no longer go out and walk. I actually think it is doing more good than the impact of walking did, it is so gentle but serves the purpose. It also pumps the lymph fluid to help detoxify the body and it reduces liver chi stagnation, especially if you add a slight twisting motion. 

 

I'm so impaired I have to set a timer to remind myself to do it and a timer to keep me on it for just 5 minutes at a time. Even I can do 5 minutes very gently every few hours and it keeps me distracted AND does so many good things for me in my extremely impaired state.

[[pa...]]

brain is not still functioning.

brain has it's own thoughts going on whole day.

it hurts, scary, putting me in despair, misery, anixety, anger, frustration, and. etc..

beginning to think whether i was like this before benzo.

it's bringing in all the old bad memories. not the pleasant ones. can't think logically or rationally. this has been going on for a long time now. month or two? i do not recall.

actually, i do not recognize myself either.

 

P.O., what do you do to augment the healing of your neurotransmitters, if anything?  Are you eating well and getting lots of good nutrients, eating healthy fatty acids to rebuild myelin that sheaths and protects the nerves, walking or using a rebounder, taking any supplements, doing things to distract yourself while you are so terribly miserable?

 

It's just a thought, but the gentle stepping action on a rebounder (miniature trampoline) along with the cross action of arm swinging or pumping, helps activate and build neuronal pathways. It is the same principal why it is so important for babies to crawl and why babies and young children with physically limiting disabilities have physical therapists lay them on their backs and cross pump arms and legs. This action actually prevents neuronal deterioration and helps build neuronal health.

 

My husband bought me a rebounder when I got where I could no longer go out and walk. I actually think it is doing more good than the impact of walking did, it is so gentle but serves the purpose. It also pumps the lymph fluid to help detoxify the body and it reduces liver chi stagnation, especially if you add a slight twisting motion. 

 

I'm so impaired I have to set a timer to remind myself to do it and a timer to keep me on it for just 5 minutes at a time. Even I can do 5 minutes very gently every few hours and it keeps me distracted AND does so many good things for me in my extremely impaired state.

 

take vitamin c only.

has been walking around the block whole day.(in and out.)

what kind of foods are you referring to? (healthy fatty acids?)

 

[[On...]]

Pacific Ocean, fish oil is a very good thing for nerves and the body in general. It is also anti inflammatory, as is cold pressed extra virgin olive oil.  Also the CLA that is found in organic butter and pasture raised beef is said to be very good for rebuilding nerves. You can use these as search terms and find good info about them.  Avoiding inflammatory oils would be important also. You can read up on what oils are highly inflammatory. They are, sadly, very plentiful in processed foods and fried foods.

 

If you are taking a lot of vitamin c and it is an acid ascorbate form that is not buffered, you might want to check your pH level. There are forms of c that are neutral in pH. I have to be careful about c for this reason.

 

Eating lots of deeply colored vegetables not only gives your body vital nutrients, it gives it minerals necessary for both repair and for maintaining an alkaline pH. Just alkalizing alone helps with any kind of pain issues with many people. You can read about that too.

 

Good luck; I really really want to see you make some progress. It's time for you to be lifted out of your misery and sometimes it just takes a little tweaking what we are doing to make a big difference. Wishing you all the best,  ~OneLove. 

 

 

 

[[ed...]]

Thanks pianogirl

[[sc...]]

Hi.  Thank you so much for posting this.  Reading it has really helped.  As a matter of fact, I printed it and also emailed it to my pastor and my nutritionist, and also gave it to my hubby.  My nutritionist thought it was excellently done and will probably use it to help others.  It really did boost my morale and made me less scared.  I have just started on my w/d from ativan but am encouraged.  Keep up the good work!

[[...]]

Hi,

 

I have noticed that some people are taking other medications to help with the withdrawal from Benzos.  I have been prescribed many, many psychotropics during the years, almost 20 years in all.  None had done me any good, I believed I needed them at the time because that is what I was told.  You know, tell someone they are a patient and they become a patient.  Since the end of last year....I don't quite remember - Aug, Sept, Oct. I have only been taking Benzos.  At that time, I believe I was taking (Diazepam equivalent) 120-140 mg, right now I am at 19 mg.

 

I won't sugar coat it, IT HAS BEEN HORRIBLE.  Saying that, I feel more alive, more like myself 20 years ago...no better than that......... than ever.  I will never take another brain altering chemical again.  But, that's me, we're all different.  That's all

 

peace

eli

[[sc...]]

  Hi Eli!

 

Hope you are doing well today.  You noticed that some people are taking other meds to help with w/d...I am.  I am taking 15mg of remerol to stimulate my appetite and also some supplements from my nutritionist.  I had taken remeron in the past and didn't like it because of the huge appetite and weight gain.  That being said, I have lost 10 lbs. over the past 2 mos. so needed to gain back some.  The supplements I take are fish oil, Symplex F, catalyn, drenamin, and black currant seed oil. 

I am starting to see improvement now being on day 9 of w/d from ativan.  The brain fog is lifting a bit, the unbalanced physical feeling is going away, and the weakness is better too.  I am resting quite a bit, and getting lots of sleep and watching the weight gain.  I have gained back 2 lbs..  When I get beyond this w/d, I will start a slow taper from the remeron with my nutritionist's help. I will keep all of you in my prayers!

Hope this info helps!

 

 

[[...]]

Hi schooner46,

 

I am very happy that the Remerol is helping with your weight gain.  When I was on all of the different medications, I went from 195lbs to 311lbs.  Upon discontinuation of the various meds I dropped down to 163lbs (as of now I weigh 186), it was very scary along with everything else that was going on.  Testosterone was at 168, now it is 611, I see my Endo in Sept. for another check. My Thyroid also became under active, now that too is fine, that also will be checked again.  My hair, not only on my head my body too, shed, that too all grew back.  And, then there is the.....hhmm, how to put it, the digestion and regulation issues that arose, they are all leveled out now, thank you Lord for everything.  That's just a few things, no different then anyone else.

 

I was thoroughly checked out; examined, x-rayed, poked and prodded, physically all structures are fine.  My Psychiatrist said that it is the medications and after my body readjusts all will level out, including my brain function.  So far, so good, not easy though by any means.  My Psych. said to just 'white knuckle through it' and that's what I am doing.

 

I do take Wheat Germ with Milled Flax Seed and Cinnamon, a double dose.  I have found it to help significantly with the various maladies.  Check it out,  I buy an all in one brand marketed by Hodgson Mills.  Google the various ingredients, it's all natural and highly nutritious.  I also eat very health, that is vague, I know, but to go into all of it would be a bit boring, as if this isn't. 

 

be well

peace

eli

[[mo...]]

Thanks for the great post piangirl  ! Coming off lorazepam .5 twice a day for 4 months  . went off to fast .5 once a day . Day six now still very anxious  . Trying not to go back over already covered ground . Gets a little better each day . Thanks for the support from all of you

[[li...]]

All,

 

I want to thank you on all of your posts. I really can not thank you enough on the post as this is really a hard time for anyone -- that is putting it mild. Has anyone of you had a CBT breakthroughs before? Two nights ago I was lying in bed with a knotted stomach and a whirl wind of thoughts and fears going through my head. The more agonizing thing is that I was on vacation in Paris and felt, "Wow how screwed up am I be to be feeling this bad in Paris?! I must be really messed up!" Suddenly I remembered the CBT that I was taught and read on the website www.anxietynomore.com and as if a tectonic shift literally happened in my brain instantaneously the stomach aches and fears went away and I have had the most wonderful experience immediately and anxiety free immediately.

 

What happened? I just said with total conviction and belief, "Wait, these thoughts and fears are absolutely all exaggerated or false and in these torments are all part of my imagination. I will not get mad at myself for having these thoughts however. Bring on the anxiety as it will not hurt me BUT YOU (me) know these thoughts and emotions and anxiety are all not real and false and really absolutely silly - albeit I will allow it to go on if it may."

 

By not judging it all and yet calling my thoughts into question I felt like my brain made an immediate cognitive nuro-pathway and my stomach aches went away immediately. Now I am still on a taper program an on a very low dose of Tranzine. Can someone explain what happened? I felt like an "ah ha" moment! it seemed so sudden and real? It is absolutely wonderful but I was surprised how fast the fear went away once I made this connection. Wow, I have been symptom free fro two days now and still on a very low dose of Benzo's. I feel like I want to tapper again to 1/2 the taper. I am handling the taper well -- maybe because I am on vacation. I have been on Benzos for 32 year and want to stop quickly as soon as possible. i am already finding that I am "feeling" things again". I am not counting victory YET but I am encouraged by the windows that I am having. Also I find that exercise really helps. Has this experience or something like a CBT break happen to anyone else?

 

Life4me

[[Mo...]]

thank you pianogirl and of course parker.

you both deserve a medal.

[[Re...]]

Thank you so much for taking the time to post this informative and helpful information! Dog bless you!

[[pa...]]

Thank you so much for taking the time to post this informative and helpful information! Dog bless you!

 

This is a very sweet quote - but I also think it's a very cute typo   I have to say that it brought a smile to my face being on the forum.  Thank you.

 

:)Parker

[[je...]]

My dad really appreciated this write-up. As much as I've treid to explain it to him, this helped more.

[[Lo...]]

The image of a building being reconstructed while people are still using it works well, as I've actually seen this done in real life: the main station of the city in which I live was completely torn down and rebuilt into a 10 story megastructure with a completely functioning train station and shops still inside the building site, used by tens of thousands of commuters every day. As far as I can recall, the trains were running on schedule 

[[El...]]

Pianogirl

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate you posting the article Parker had written. And THANK YOU to Parker for writing it.  The information in this posting is a HUGE help in my recovery.

[[Ca...]]

Thank you, thank you for reposting this. It's very helpful as I am in the 'too agoraphobic to schedule a massage' phase.

 

I reckon we are all incredibly strong people to get through this. Keep going folks.

 

Callie

[[Ma...]]

I'm 20 days in cold turkey from .5 Xanax.  I've been taking 150 mg. wellbutrin for a few years and 40 mg. amphetamine salts for ADHD.  Anyone know anything about these?