How many people HAVE to work while tapering

[[bo...]]

One funny thing - 90 percent of what I do at work is not much different than what I'm doing right now - researching things, typing things up.  The amount of energy I have expended on this quest to read everything about this taper stuff and benzo stuff, and to find doctors, and even now to write on the web - it is not unlike what I have to do at work.  Maybe I need to concentrate a little harder at work.  But if I could get them to let me do this telecommuting I think I would be fine with that part unless I went extremely bad. 

 

But about 10% of my job involves things that would completely freak me out in an anxiety/wd state - testifying in legal proceedings, flying, public speaking (which was one of the main reasons I started with these stupid pills in the first place).  I discussed my situation with the boss and I think he knows I have to try to avoid this type of stuff.  Just not sure he has the power to keep me out of it.

[[et...]]

It would be helpful if everyone could see your signature at the bottom of your posts. We get to know each other and where we are at and helps in times of distress when you need others to do the thinking for you.

etown

[[Ch...]]

Hi Bobo,

 

I'm in the same boat to a certain degree -- in that my work requires public speaking and a lot of traveling. I have balanced the demands during my taper by keeping commitments for the most important engagements, but cutting when I can, and not pursuing work as aggressively as I used to . I am also taking a breather from long-distance travel too, which is costing me income -- but I have to clear my system of this K and get my CNS running on its own again. That's my greatest commitment these days -- other than somehow managing to still raise my daughter (this has not been easy for her; even though she doesn't know all the gory details, so to speak).

My doctor, who has become a supportive and a better-informed doctor during this process, prescribed beta blockers (propranolol) for speaking engagements and difficult driving (not every day for me).

You might want to check into this.

 

Remember, the crazy feelings are part of healing. Don't let them trick you. Try to float with it all as best you can -- and just know it's kind of a 2-steps forward, 1-step back process. Patience is required. I recommend meditation or yoga. You can get through this! 

 

Good luck!

Cheery

 

[[lk...]]

Bobo......These sites can be a detrement sometimes.....I find that if you are feeling down you need to stay on a thread that is more positive. I will tell you that my taper was not painless but it was doable. Some cuts I didn't feel some I did. Some just a little and some a lot but it wasn't the doom and gloom constantly I swear. I know for me that I HAD and Have to keep a positive attitude. I have to laugh....I have to talk to people that will cheer me on when Im down. Its necessary. If you get in a slump its not fun and sometimes its hard to get out. You might have bad days and thats when you can come on your select threads and get some reassurance.!!!

 

I also found that I stopped looking at any symptoms.........If I really was bothered by something that I thought was odd I would ask if anyone else had experienced it. I was lucky that I pretty much stuck with the same symptoms the whole time. Some I dropped halfway through and others stayed with me. Insomnia, headache and muscle aches in my neck and shoulders was my most annoying....Insomnia was a problem before xanax so who knows if it will ever be better lol

 

Hang in there. You can do this. Just listen to your body. That is my biggest piece of advice. If it tells you to hold then you hold. That simple.

 

Lisa

[[lk...]]

Cheery...............Good point.!!!!! Those feelings ARE part of this whole process and they wont last forever. SOmetimes we just need someone to keep reminding us of that!!!! Good for you knowing your limits with work and putting this taper first. The sooner you are off the sooner you can resume it all!!!

 

Lisa

[[et...]]

Cheery welcome to this thread. You and I are very similar in our work. We are getting some new people on this thread in some interesting work situations. I have decided to slow down a lot when I start up again. I am very sensitive to Benzos and keep having to readjust a lot but it seems to be the name of the game for many.

 

Lisa you're right I literally rely on a few threads and people who have provided rational and practical advise when I really needed it

etown

[[lk...]]

Exactly E! The doom and gloom threads IMO are in no way helpful to anyone. Positive support and caring are where its at!!!

 

Lisa

[[ma...]]

I echo those sentiments! Support, sharing and more support!

I don't think it helps to scare ourselves about this too much. I have an elderly friend who just halved her ativan and hasn't noticed any ill effects. She didn't expect to because she knows little about withdrawals.

Of course it does not mean the withdrawals are not for real (I wish this darn tooth and jaw ache would go away today!) but focusing on the negative too much doesn't help. This time next year we will all be better!

magga xx

 

[[lk...]]

Magga...............I quit my xanax cold turkey years ago when I didn't know any better cuz I get preggers and no problem whatsoever. NOTHING! Now mind you.......I wasn't taking it a ton and it was a low dose but still! You just never know!

 

I have heard others with the mouth and jaw pain. I never had that one. Are you sensitive there prior to the benzo stuff? I get all my pains in my head neck and shoulders and back. That is where I am weakest. They claim the aches will hit where you already have had some issues. Idk if that is true or not but in my case it is......Hope it gets better!

 

lisa

[[In...]]

Hi to all of you. I've just had my long weekend at work.

 

First of all, and not to be scary or doom and gloom, it is true that the aches and pains will hit you worse in areas where you've already had issues. Tooth and jaw pain are fairly common w/d sx, although not everyone will get them.

 

I have trigeminal neuralgia which is excitation of the trigeminal nerve in the face. It's actually better to google this than for me to explain it. But it is painful when it flares up. And because this nerve comes right out of the brain and provides feeling to either side of the face (two nerves, right and left side), it affects the ear, eye, nose, and jaw area. And I've had 4 dental implants on the left side, so a w/d sx for me is not only sensitivity and sometime pain in that dental area, but also sensitivity, pain, and a feeling of incoordination of my left eye with my right eye, plus a "not working" feeling in the left side of my brain. It doesnt affect my actual walking, talking, or other aspects of brain function, but it does feel weird. So this is not intended to be a scary story, but just one about dental pain being a common w/d sx.

 

So I did have a busy weekend of counseling as to be expected. But it's Monday now, and I've got a lot to do also. At work, people were talking about our upcoming trainings which have a few of us flabbergasted. We have to get 30 hours a year, and that starts again on 10/1/13. When that date hits, people start scurrying (at least a few of us do), to get going on that. I've done so much this year between the mandatory trainings and the ones I took optionally, that I easily got my 30 hours a couple of months ago. Now here come 2 more all day, unexpected, mandatory trainings, both in September, that will end up putting me close to 50 hours. And one is a brand new one which we've never had before, but is on a Friday from 8-4:30. That one has people fairly upset.

 

But our agency has some new programs that our states licensing division is apparently requiring this training, and also has to be done to fulfill contract requirements with the court system. I guess all I can say is that working part time as a counselor that also has to be licensed sometimes feels like a full time job with all the requirements as they are the very same as the people who do work full time.

 

I like my job itself, even with the long 10 hours each day, but with all the added training which seems to grow each year, retirement looks more appealing the closer I get. And I'm getting a new supervisor on 9/1 which has added to my stress. This person has been there awhile working on a full time shift as a supervisor. But she's going to school now, so she wants part time, and she's not ever been well liked by her current staff, so all of us on the weekend are wondering how this will go. I guess all the changes are just getting to me, although others are also not thrilled.

 

And welcome also to the newcomers. It will be interesting to get to know you. And congratulations to you, Lisa, on getting off this lovely stuff. I hope your feeling really good for your accomplishment, and physically well also.

 

Intend

[[tb...]]

I just want to chime in and say how greatful I am for my job. I work at a coffee shop. I don't make tons but it has been the best thing to distract me and keep my mind off all the misery. It keeps me from having panic attacks and being a loner.

 

Things will bug me on my breaks but when I get back in there I get so lost in everything that my symptoms practically disappear.

 

I do have to cut back slower on the ativan but whatever. Working most certainly is a healer for me. 

[[ma...]]

Lisa

most of my symptoms are exaggerations of problems I have had on and off for years. Its typical that these drugs are given to people with oversensitive nervous and autonomic systems and can then make any or all their problems much worse.

The positive side is that, when things get really bad, you can learn to cope with them. I used to be afraid of large dogs but since all this being scared of dogs seems laughable.

magga x

[[Wi...]]

Just wanted to stop by and say hi to my working buddies.  A few weeks ago, I ended the contract I've been working for the last 2+ years and therefore am not a "working" buddie so have not been posting here much as I didn't feel that was appropriate.  I will be seeking work soon and will come back at that time   Hope all you brave souls are at least surviving and hopefully even more than that. 

 

WWWI

 

[[et...]]

Intend I get it with the training things drives me crazy sitting there listening to stuff I'll never use but need to know.

 

tboy - glad to have you on board...stick around we are getting lots of new people to support each other it is really cool

 

WWWI - nooooooooooooooo don't go away even if you're not working...we don't care we need you wonderwoman!

 

Magga - you're doing fine before you know it we'll be celebrating with you!

 

etown

[[Wi...]]

etown

[[et...]]

wwwi - I'm 

e

[[bo...]]

Well, stuck ;like a rabbit in headlights at .25.  Don't want to cut with symptoms like this, don't want to updose.  Hoping my symptoms will improve a bit because one has - sleeping.  Firsy cople weeks after big cut almost zero sleep, never before my "dose"  Now I lay down around 8 or 9, dose off untilmy body soulds the midnight alarm for my dose, then sleep until around 3 when again I wake to take heart/BP meds (yes, I have heart issues) then back to sleep until the 4 AM chill/hotflash nerve fest.

 

My symptoms at work are worst from 11 to 2 I feel like I'm burning up from the inside - then okay as I head home and into the evening.

 

Oh well, I'll see what today brings. 

 

Best of luck, especially to those newly jumped.

[[lk...]]

Hey Gang!

 

Stick around WWWI.....we don't care that you are enjoying some work free time

 

Intend.........sounds like your weekend was no weekend!! So are you off a few days during the week when you work all weekend? Thanks for the congratz! Its nice not having to try to take a sliver at night. Weird tho.....sleep is still a problem but that isn't a shocker to me. We shall see!

 

Tboy.......I am with you. WOrk saves me sometimes. I have definitely had days where going to work took all I had and I was quite miserable but more days then not it helped me stay out of myself a little and think of other things other then my taper and how I feel.

 

Bobo....have your symptoms subsided at all from your big cut? Do you always take it in the middle of the night? Just curious.

 

E....how ya doing with things?

 

Hi to anyone lurking!

 

Lisa

[[bo...]]

My symptoms come and go although it seems sleep has improved a little (knock on wood) because for a while I wasn't getting any.  It is sleep with a lot of weird dreams and doesn't always seem to rest me but better than fussing around all night.

 

I always take my dose at night  because I'm afraid I couldn't sleep at all without it.  But I've been dosing off before but my body expects it and wakes me up at the normal time if I don't take it. 

[[Wi...]]

wwwi - I'm 

e

etown you may be many things but you aren't  lol you doing ok?

[[lk...]]

Bobo.....My dose was always at night too. Its kinda scary cuz I think we mentally get addicted to it and think we need it as well as physicially needing it to sleep. I will tell you that my sleep isn't any worse now that I jumped then it was in my taper really. Some ok nights some bad......but I feel like I am getting a few more little stretched of sleep instead of that up every hour deal that just exhausts you.

 

Hang in there. I would hold until you feel your body is ready,. If you hold a while and no improvement then maybe you need to bite the bullet and cut a very small amt in case you are in tolerance.

 

Hang in there

 

Lisa

[[Wi...]]

lkk324 - I really appreciate you saying that.  Thank you

[[In...]]

Hi folks.

 

I wish I could address some others w/d issues at the moment, but I'm having my own. I did have a lag time of 6 days while on X, but then after switching to K, it seemed my lag time was a long 11 days. That had been the case until recently when it now seems I start having w/d within about 2 days.

 

In a way, I think this is better, but Im in some kind of unpredictable phase so I really don't know didley squat about this drug and how this is going to go. And I know predictability of anything here is not to be expected other than a certain amount of unpleasantness, and I have that.

 

Lisa, to answer your question, yes, I'm off during the week after working 10-12 hours on Saturday and Sunday's. Yesterday, I was referring to all those trainings we have. Those take place during the week. What I was "complaining" about was how these trainings have increased almost "exponentially" over the last 2 years. There are many more of them, and they are lasting up to 8 hours.

 

I do like my job, and I agree that getting out and doing productive work does take me out of my ruminating on me and my sx, and worrying about what's happening, and what's going to happen next, but I also worry about doing my job well as some of my sx affect my thought process, and this job doesn't allow for that at all. I'm repeating what I've posted before which is boring for anyone reading this. But it's then another worry that I have about tapering and w/d, so sometimes I don't really "escape" from the taper and the withdrawl sx one bit.

 

They just go with me to work, and then ive got the intense job plus the withdrawl sx to handle. Not fun.

 

Intend

[[lk...]]

WWWI.............anytime dear

 

Intend..............Its funny (well not really) how they add on all these training things and don't really think about how it is burning out their staff. Craziness. Maybe at some point in your taper your cognitive stuff will ease up so then you wont have to worry about that as much. It could happen ya know! Positive vibes for that sent to you. I know if you don't ever get a break from the sx it must be super hard. I only had one stretch like that and it was for about a month and I was kinda miserable and a bit doom and gloom like this is it forever and this is my life....Luckily some people kept reminding me that its NOT forever and we will all eventually heal. its a tough road and yours has been long but you are still doing it. Give yourself some credit!!

 

Lisa

[[In...]]

Lisa,

 

You're absolutely correct about staff burnout. This kind of job burns people out anyway, so adding all these trainings just fries the brain, so to speak. People do get openly cynical about this very aspect.

 

I actually don't have the cognitive stuff all the time, but I do worry about it popping up. But I really do take work and this tapering day by day.

 

I dont know that I've ever followed the "regular" pattern of resolution of sx in a certain number of days anyway. But I can compare how I feel just before a cut and right after one, and see how I was doing better before the cut, so I guess it does work that way for me. It just doesn't always feel that way at the time.

 

I guess we just survive this one way or another. Im not a super positive person; more of a realist, and I do just have to take this one day at a time. But I agree; I am doing it so I do focus on that, and that brings me back to a bit more "positive" outlook.

 

Intend