The Klonopin Klub

[[Be...]]

TRY, Very sorry you felt so bad. Try Gin Gin ginger chews, or any ginger drink for that matter. I am never without the candy and find it eases nausea if I have three in a row.

 

Miss B, there's a dent in my hall door from a withdrawal anger episode. 0-60 emotional gas pedal sounds about right. 

 

Big news of the day: I feel 100%. I worked at the Horticultural Help Desk today. I had forgotten I signed up to volunteer more than two months ago. When I saw it on my calendar 90 minutes before I was to be there, I just went for it and drove 15 miles in rush hour traffic. Best day I have had in over a year. I am hopeful for recovery. Still, taking it one day at a time. The only time I have anyway is the present moment.

 

Bennie

[[Tr...]]

TRY, Very sorry you felt so bad. Try Gin Gin ginger chews, or any ginger drink for that matter. I am never without the candy and find it eases nausea if I have three in a row.

 

Miss B, there's a dent in my hall door from a withdrawal anger episode. 0-60 emotional gas pedal sounds about right. 

 

Big news of the day: I feel 100%. I worked at the Horticultural Help Desk today. I had forgotten I signed up to volunteer more than two months ago. When I saw it on my calendar 90 minutes before I was to be there, I just went for it and drove 15 miles in rush hour traffic. Best day I have had in over a year. I am hopeful for recovery. Still, taking it one day at a time. The only time I have anyway is the present moment.

 

Bennie

 

Bennie!!!  SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!    Keep that 100% going!!  You Deserve It!!

 

TRY

 

[[Ry...]]

 

Thanks Ryuuka,

 

That's really nice  Good luck with your next cut. You have a great attitude, and yes, it is tough but so are you. The future looks promising, so keep focused! We are always here for you!! ~CeCe

 

The fun thing about all of this (aside from nothing) is that I can't imagine anything feeling difficult in comparison. It's like we're lifting 200lb weights and everything else in life will be like a 3lb weight in comparison.

 

That's a great analogy. That about it in a nutshell. I can't think of one single thing I've done in my life that was ever this hard! I'm trying to stay positive, but I have times when I just feel like I'm going to crumble.

 

I had a hard time with keeping up the whole staying positive thing today and my therapist actually had me do something that helped. I know that talk-therapy doesn't do crap for physical symptoms but the physical stuff is only half of the battle. He told me to look at it mathematically, had me write down the amount of time I was going to spend tapering/recovering (I understand this varies for people) vs. the amount of time I will enjoy the benefits of not being on klono and my answer was a few months vs. the rest of my life.  Really helped with perspective.

[[Tr...]]

 

Thanks Ryuuka,

 

That's really nice  Good luck with your next cut. You have a great attitude, and yes, it is tough but so are you. The future looks promising, so keep focused! We are always here for you!! ~CeCe

 

The fun thing about all of this (aside from nothing) is that I can't imagine anything feeling difficult in comparison. It's like we're lifting 200lb weights and everything else in life will be like a 3lb weight in comparison.

 

That's a great analogy. That about it in a nutshell. I can't think of one single thing I've done in my life that was ever this hard! I'm trying to stay positive, but I have times when I just feel like I'm going to crumble.

 

I had a hard time with keeping up the whole staying positive thing today and my therapist actually had me do something that helped. I know that talk-therapy doesn't do crap for physical symptoms but the physical stuff is only half of the battle. He told me to look at it mathematically, had me write down the amount of time I was going to spend tapering/recovering (I understand this varies for people) vs. the amount of time I will enjoy the benefits of not being on klono and my answer was a few months vs. the rest of my life.  Really helped with perspective.

 

Ryuuka, thanks for sharing.  That sheds a whole new light on this.  I needed that today. 

 

TRY

[Guest [Gi...]]

Benny,I'm so glad to hear that you were able to be at 100% today. That is awesome!!!!!

Try, I hope that things get better.

Miss B, You are so close to jumping.We can't wait for your jumping party.

To CD, Nomo,KGirl, NYWR, Liberty, Maya, My Mana, Ryuuka, CeCe,BeStrong, Burned,Daises, ERS,Bets,Klonofreeand everyone else that I didn't mention, I wish you a good day. Hang in there.It will get better.

I helped to set up a baby pantry at my church today.It was a pretty good day.Better than yesterday. I hate mornings,but feel so much better in the afternoon. I just wish that evening feeling was all day long.

Gilster

[[Tr...]]

Benny,I'm so glad to hear that you were able to be at 100% today. That is awesome!!!!!

Try, I hope that things get better.

Miss B, You are so close to jumping.We can't wait for your jumping party.

To CD, Nomo,KGirl, NYWR, Liberty, Maya, My Mana, Ryuuka, CeCe,BeStrong, Burned,Daises, ERS,Bets,Klonofreeand everyone else that I didn't mention, I wish you a good day. Hang in there.It will get better.

I helped to set up a baby pantry at my church today.It was a pretty good day.Better than yesterday. I hate mornings,but feel so much better in the afternoon. I just wish that evening feeling was all day long.

Gilster

 

Glister,thank you.

I'm glad you were able to get to help set up the baby pantry at your church.  That is such a wonderful and caring thing to do.

 

Have a good night, and even better tomorrow.

 

TRY

[[...]]

Try, Gilster, Cece, Ryuuka, missb, liberty, BStrong, NewGirl, CD ((huggs!)) and EVERYONE,  Hoping for a halfway decent day for all of you, and for hope and patience.

 

For Bennie, though, I am hoping for more 90-100% days!  What a boost to all of us here to read that you are experiencing healing!!!  HOPE for all of us!!!!

 

Last night I really didn't think I could do one more day.  BUUT,  woke up without the muscle or head pain, and with lessened anxiety.  I did my 5 miles, even though I was tortured by "Is this walking hurting me?  OMG!!!  What should I do??"  I went, and walked off the hell.  I am really kind of ocd and regimented right now.  I watched Don Killians videos and he said that he got really ritualistic and dependent on routine during his withdrawal.  He is SO dang happy and free now that I am just going to keep doing whatever I need to do even if it is rather odd.  I was not ocd or ritualistic before, so it is a piece of withdrawal for me and it will lift. 

 

I was able last night to watch a tv show.  I haven't been able to watch a movie or 1/2 hour sitcom since December.  I found "Call the Midwife," on netflix.  I had watched all of them a year ago.  The great news is that it was All New to me!  Benefits of short term memory impairment!!It is so soothing with it's 1950's England friendships, music, and imagery. I did fast forward thru the emotional stuff.  Funny, Labor and delivery and grief didn't phase me.  Yep, I would trade my withdrawal days for labor and delivery or even grief.  I just watched those scenes and thought soberly but not sadly, "Yeah, we have to go through tough times."  Interesting. 

 

My insides are racing but I can really handle this.  It is better.  Overall, it is getting better.

 

Hang on friend.  One more day.

 

Nomo

[[Bu...]]

Hi all,

 

lots of good advice and great support here    Hang in there-we will do this

 

100%!!!  you go Bennie

 

Try:  yes, sxs cycling so fast now I can't keep up.  Buckled up for the twists and turns.  And yes to waking up and feeling sick-cortisol surges aggravating things?  Hang in there

 

Gilster:  glad you were able to volunteer and agree afternoons definitely better

 

Nomo:  glad you were able to watch a show and that you can walk.  I think exercise does help with all this anxiety and excess glutamate.  I find comfort in rituals now too.  It is getting better-hugs

 

Ryuuka:  great perspective!!!

 

MissB, CeCe, Liberty:  hang in there too.  0-60 with anger indeed!

 

Daisies:  glad you are feeling better

 

klonofree:  I hear ya-all these sxs at once are hard to deal with-sending hugs your way

 

Hugs to each kkluber today 

 

 

[[be...]]

Bennie Bennie Bennie: I knew you had enough of this crap. So glad for a 100% day. May it continue.

 

Also thanks for this Bennie: You always talk about deep breathing. Well, I never tried it before. But last night when I went to bed I knew it was going to be one of those rare nights that I would get maybe 3 hours of sleep. So I said, what the heck, it can't do me any harm. So that's what I did and that's all I focused on. Deep breathing. I did it for about 15 minutes and the next thing I knew it was time to get up. I assumed all along that benzos were stronger than any non medication method. I'm so happy I turned out to be wrong! So TY TY TY! Now go do your planting. :smitten: :smitten: :smitten:

 

Bets

[[Ry...]]

Bennie Bennie Bennie: I knew you had enough of this crap. So glad for a 100% day. May it continue.

 

Also thanks for this Bennie: You always talk about deep breathing. Well, I never tried it before. But last night when I went to bed I knew it was going to be one of those rare nights that I would get maybe 3 hours of sleep. So I said, what the heck, it can't do me any harm. So that's what I did and that's all I focused on. Deep breathing. I did it for about 15 minutes and the next thing I knew it was time to get up. I assumed all along that benzos were stronger than any non medication method. I'm so happy I turned out to be wrong! So TY TY TY! Now go do your planting. :smitten: :smitten: :smitten:

 

Bets

 

I swear by it. Every night before I go to sleep, I do deep breathing and vocal guided meditation and despite all of my other symptoms, I've slept like a baby so far. I'm still early into it but I think that sleeping is a miracle at this point.

[[La...]]

Hi All,

 

I haven't been on K for too long, but long enough to cause so many issues.  I began water tapering in May and have had some really bad days - especially recently.  It seems the lower I go, the worse it is.  When these days come (this last one lasted a week or so) I just hold until I feel better.  During those days, as you all know, I feel like it will never end and all these thoughts are going through my mind and I was wondering if any of you could please give me some feedback on what I should do. 

 

1.  Quit Cold turkey - just get it over with.

2.  Try to check into a detox/rehab and get more help/supervision, but I don't have insurance so that might cause more issues with the cost, etc.

3.  Keep slowly tapering even though it may take over a year and try to get through it.

 

I have pretty good support with my husband, but he gets really tired and doesn't understand most of the time.  He has stresses of his own.  I don't work (can't) right now and we have some stressful things coming up (moving into a new house) and the usual.

 

I have tried to get some help on here before, but I never get much feedback-sometimes none.  I could really use some encouragement from those of you that know what I am going through and hopefully I, too can help someone else.  This is my last try - if I don't get any answers/help, I guess this isn't the place for me.  Thank you.

[[Bu...]]

Hi LaHenz,

 

With the symptoms you are experiencing, IMHO I would continue with the taper.  I am reducing on my liquid taper and holding, too.  Have had to hold several times to let my body catch up to the reduction.  It might not take a year with the amount you are on currently.  Hope this is helpful 

[[La...]]

Thank you Burned Out!  It is good to finally get a response from someone.  I know to continue to taper is best, but it gets so hard sometimes and I get impatient.  I just have to be thankful for the windows that are good.  I never thought I would ever have to go through something like this...it seems to be a bad dream.  Thank you so much again

[[Bu...]]

Yes, it seems like it will never end but, it will!  I've had to learn A LOT of patience to help get through this and yes, the windows help remind me that healing is possible and is happening even as we taper    I like to read the success stories for inspiration that we will be better at the end of this 

[[Be...]]

Hi All,

 

I haven't been on K for too long, but long enough to cause so many issues.  I began water tapering in May and have had some really bad days - especially recently.  It seems the lower I go, the worse it is.  When these days come (this last one lasted a week or so) I just hold until I feel better.  During those days, as you all know, I feel like it will never end and all these thoughts are going through my mind and I was wondering if any of you could please give me some feedback on what I should do. 

 

1.  Quit Cold turkey - just get it over with.

2.  Try to check into a detox/rehab and get more help/supervision, but I don't have insurance so that might cause more issues with the cost, etc.

3.  Keep slowly tapering even though it may take over a year and try to get through it.

 

I have pretty good support with my husband, but he gets really tired and doesn't understand most of the time.  He has stresses of his own.  I don't work (can't) right now and we have some stressful things coming up (moving into a new house) and the usual.

 

I have tried to get some help on here before, but I never get much feedback-sometimes none.  I could really use some encouragement from those of you that know what I am going through and hopefully I, too can help someone else.  This is my last try - if I don't get any answers/help, I guess this isn't the place for me.  Thank you.

 

Hi,

 

1. No

2. No

3. Yes

 

A year seems a bit long from where you are at. I can't determine your taper rate, by percentage or otherwise. Are you Microtapering, or using water for precision? Milk and almond oil will make more of a suspension than water, so it's possible that you are losing more of your dose in water, the lower you go, when you toss. It's just a thought. But sxs creeping up is not unheard of at very low doses. So if you slow down too much you risk hanging out with sxs longer than if you continue to cut at a regular pace. Don't give up hope. You are on the home stretch.

 

 

[[La...]]

Thank you Benniejets - I use water w/1 ml of vodka.  I have been pretty consistent in having bad symptoms every 10 ml cut or so.  I have been thinking of trying milk, but have some kind of stressful things coming up, so I will try it in a few weeks.  Thank you so much for the support!

[[Tr...]]

Hi all,

 

lots of good advice and great support here    Hang in there-we will do this

 

100%!!!  you go Bennie

 

Try:  yes, sxs cycling so fast now I can't keep up.  Buckled up for the twists and turns.  And yes to waking up and feeling sick-cortisol surges aggravating things?  Hang in there

 

Gilster:  glad you were able to volunteer and agree afternoons definitely better

 

Nomo:  glad you were able to watch a show and that you can walk.  I think exercise does help with all this anxiety and excess glutamate.  I find comfort in rituals now too.  It is getting better-hugs

 

Ryuuka:  great perspective!!!

 

MissB, CeCe, Liberty:  hang in there too.  0-60 with anger indeed!

 

Daisies:  glad you are feeling better

 

klonofree:  I hear ya-all these sxs at once are hard to deal with-sending hugs your way

 

Hugs to each kkluber today 

 

Burned,

How are you doing my friend?  I'm strapping in for some STUFF.  Good Grief! 

 

Stay Tough!!

 

TRY

[[ca...]]

Sending ( Everyone ) Healing Huggs ~CD

[[Fa...]]

Hello everyone! ^_^

I'm so happy to see some of my muscle tone is back... my legs were aching tremendously yesterday, but now I touched them I can feel some tension is back... 

 

Best wishes to anyone, I hope you'll heal soon!

[[be...]]

Bennie Bennie Bennie: I knew you had enough of this crap. So glad for a 100% day. May it continue.

 

Also thanks for this Bennie: You always talk about deep breathing. Well, I never tried it before. But last night when I went to bed I knew it was going to be one of those rare nights that I would get maybe 3 hours of sleep. So I said, what the heck, it can't do me any harm. So that's what I did and that's all I focused on. Deep breathing. I did it for about 15 minutes and the next thing I knew it was time to get up. I assumed all along that benzos were stronger than any non medication method. I'm so happy I turned out to be wrong! So TY TY TY! Now go do your planting. :smitten: :smitten: :smitten:

 

Bets

 

I swear by it. Every night before I go to sleep, I do deep breathing and vocal guided meditation and despite all of my other symptoms, I've slept like a baby so far. I'm still early into it but I think that sleeping is a miracle at this point.

 

:thumbsup: That's my plan for every night now. I wish I listened before. It would have saved me a lot of sleep.

[[Kl...]]

Recovering, what a great thread, thank you. Not sure I want to be a member of the Klonopin Klub, but here I am! It sure does feel like the worst of the benzos, doesn't it.

 

I haven't been post taper for very long, but so far things are good. I had a horrible experience unknowingly jumping at .5mgs and was expecting to experience all of that again, but that hasn't been the case so far. I've had some very dark moments throughout the acute phase of my w/d, but I can confidently say they passed and I now feel like I am healing. As Benzo3 said, it seems that Klonopin really hits the muscles and I was initially started on it for a muscle issue. So, it's hard to determine what's w/d and what's baseline for me. Hopefully I'll have a better picture in a few months.

 

Luci, congratulations on making it to 4 months! I hate to hear you're dealing with such horrendous fatigue. I've been there and it's an awful feeling. All of your symptoms are EXACTLY mine, and those are all my biggies, too. I've gone through some really rough patches with it all and it passed. I'm positive it will pass for you, as well! Hang in there!

 

Benzo3, I hear you on the muscle thing. Unfortunately, I don't get true windows, but even on the good days I can't seem to shake all the muscle stuff going on.

 

Ally

When did you start feeling relief? Curious K

[[Ry...]]

Bennie Bennie Bennie: I knew you had enough of this crap. So glad for a 100% day. May it continue.

 

Also thanks for this Bennie: You always talk about deep breathing. Well, I never tried it before. But last night when I went to bed I knew it was going to be one of those rare nights that I would get maybe 3 hours of sleep. So I said, what the heck, it can't do me any harm. So that's what I did and that's all I focused on. Deep breathing. I did it for about 15 minutes and the next thing I knew it was time to get up. I assumed all along that benzos were stronger than any non medication method. I'm so happy I turned out to be wrong! So TY TY TY! Now go do your planting. :smitten: :smitten: :smitten:

 

Bets

 

I swear by it. Every night before I go to sleep, I do deep breathing and vocal guided meditation and despite all of my other symptoms, I've slept like a baby so far. I'm still early into it but I think that sleeping is a miracle at this point.

 

:thumbsup: That's my plan for every night now. I wish I listened before. It would have saved me a lot of sleep.

 

https://www.youtube.com/user/ILoveJuicyShow <--That's the dude who puts me to sleep every night. I like a few channels ("The Honest Guys" being a runner up) but something about the way he guides the meditation puts me down when I'm having a bit of a hard time with others. Meditating is really awesome, and I'm not someone who would ever say that.

[[Be...]]

Recovering, what a great thread, thank you. Not sure I want to be a member of the Klonopin Klub, but here I am! It sure does feel like the worst of the benzos, doesn't it.

 

I haven't been post taper for very long, but so far things are good. I had a horrible experience unknowingly jumping at .5mgs and was expecting to experience all of that again, but that hasn't been the case so far. I've had some very dark moments throughout the acute phase of my w/d, but I can confidently say they passed and I now feel like I am healing. As Benzo3 said, it seems that Klonopin really hits the muscles and I was initially started on it for a muscle issue. So, it's hard to determine what's w/d and what's baseline for me. Hopefully I'll have a better picture in a few months.

 

Luci, congratulations on making it to 4 months! I hate to hear you're dealing with such horrendous fatigue. I've been there and it's an awful feeling. All of your symptoms are EXACTLY mine, and those are all my biggies, too. I've gone through some really rough patches with it all and it passed. I'm positive it will pass for you, as well! Hang in there!

 

Benzo3, I hear you on the muscle thing. Unfortunately, I don't get true windows, but even on the good days I can't seem to shake all the muscle stuff going on.

 

Ally

When did you start feeling relief? Curious K

 

Hey klnofree,

The post you are interested in getting a response about is 4 years old. *gasp*

Bennie

[[Be...]]

Hi folks,

 

So many KKers going low and slow, kinda the way you cook a brisket.  That's the way to do it, but not too slow—you wanna be off this crap. And you will, and time will still be the benchmark, but at least you'll be on the other side. COME TO THE LIGHT!

 

Had myself an 85% day with some hip stuff kicking in, but few worries. I'll get my NMT session tomorrow. Visited a friend on the other side of the bay, brought lunch, and enjoyed the drive. I ate garlic for the first time in three years and so far, I'm good.    Yesterday, I made and ate gluten-free chocolate chip cookies (itty bitty chips), and I was good with that too.  Funny, eating those cookies was not as satisfying as I thought. My taste buds have changed I guess. My brain has changed for sure.

 

Bets,

So glad you finally used the natural sleep aid. I am usually out like a light when I do deep breathing and recite my mantra in my head. When you are stressed, go to your car or somewhere and do the breathing. It will help then too. In fact, just do it when you think about it. You'll be training your nervous system to be in a calmer state... I hope you are getting a reprieve on the home front—at least a little. 

 

Bennie

[[...]]

GO BENNIE!!! :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

 

Hi folks,

 

So many KKers going low and slow, kinda the way you cook a brisket.  That's the way to do it, but not too slow—you wanna be off this crap. And you will, and time will still be the benchmark, but at least you'll be on the other side. COME TO THE LIGHT!

 

Had myself an 85% day with some hip stuff kicking in, but few worries. I'll get my NMT session tomorrow. Visited a friend on the other side of the bay, brought lunch, and enjoyed the drive. I ate garlic for the first time in three years and so far, I'm good.    Yesterday, I made and ate gluten-free chocolate chip cookies (itty bitty chips), and I was good with that too.  Funny, eating those cookies was not as satisfying as I thought. My taste buds have changed I guess. My brain has changed for sure.

 

Bets,

So glad you finally used the natural sleep aid. I am usually out like a light when I do deep breathing and recite my mantra in my head. When you are stressed, go to your car or somewhere and do the breathing. It will help then too. In fact, just do it when you think about it. You'll be training your nervous system to be in a calmer state... I hope you are getting a reprieve on the home front—at least a little. 

 

Bennie