The Klonopin Klub

[[ca...]]

Good Morning ( Everyone ) hot and humid out East today so 7:00 got the AC on already and pfttt for living in the Mountains out here not really cooler but do get some awesome Thunder Storms like last night ! @ MissB I get them stabbing pains it`s just nerves firing off lots in the Chest and Ribs so no playing Doc Google it`s a no no ! @ Bennie, driving whoo hooo cool beans bet it felt good eh?

[[Be...]]

CD, I'm thinking you're in a steam bath there and could use some cool SF fog. I was freezing yesterday even with the sun shining. I've got the hot-cold thing going on. Oh yeah, driving was in fact FREEDOM. I'd like to drive into a new state of mind and body! Hope you are getting enough sleep and that AC doesn't quit.

Bennie

[[...]]

Morning Buddies,

 

Bennie, did you sleep last night?  What time is it there?  GO to sleep little girl!! 

 

I have been watching Don Killian's videos  (he is eli111.)  He is a retired biologist.  In this video at about 8.10, he explains how the myth that benzos get trapped in our fat or any tissues is untrue.  I have read that and other "scary stories," in various places on BB.  He really helps dispel fears, as he went through sheer hell and is out the other side, happier than ever.

 

I hope it helps somebody. 

 

http://www.merryjoyousfree.com/video-86

 

Let's get through another day and be as kind to ourselves as we would be to a beloved friend going through this storm.

 

CD, BSrtrong, Maya, WR, GIlster, New GIrl, MissB, TRy, Coyote, and all you reading here, HUGS and HOPE!  There IS lots of Hope, even for YOU!

[[Be...]]

Nomo,

 

I slept from 11-4.  I'm dragging tires in my sleep.

 

Thanks for the video link. I hope watching it helps me. Funny, I dispelled the "Benzo in fat" idea with the rationale that I didn't have any fat left. 

 

If you're out there walking early in the AM, you could lead one of those Mommy's with stroller brigades I see. Can't you make some money out of this? $ $

 

Bennie

 

Edit—I just clicked the link and my goodness, the man has muscles! Can I get my muscles and fat back?!

[[NY...]]

Morning Buddies,

 

Bennie, did you sleep last night?  What time is it there?  GO to sleep little girl!! 

 

I have been watching Don Killian's videos  (he is eli111.)  He is a retired biologist.  In this video at about 8.10, he explains how the myth that benzos get trapped in our fat or any tissues is untrue.  I have read that and other "scary stories," in various places on BB.  He really helps dispel fears, as he went through sheer hell and is out the other side, happier than ever.

 

I hope it helps somebody. 

 

http://www.merryjoyousfree.com/video-86

 

Let's get through another day and be as kind to ourselves as we would be to a beloved friend going through this storm.

 

CD, BSrtrong, Maya, WR, GIlster, New GIrl, MissB, TRy, Coyote, and all you reading here, HUGS and HOPE!  There IS lots of Hope, even for YOU!

 

Nomo, thank you for sharing the link - hearing from him is so comforting, hopeful.  This is Eli111's success story, one of my favorites.

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=74108.0

 

Love to all,

WR

[[Tr...]]

Hi All I had about an hour of an amazing window last night.  It could have been longer but I fell asleep.  I was happy and connected.  Like my soul came back.

 

This morning I'm still having wonky brain.  The top of my head feels numb, and the left side of my neck feels like I pulled a muscle.  So bizarre. 

 

Wishing everyone a beautiful day of calm, and healing.

 

TRY

[[mi...]]

Miss B,

 

 

I'm hoping you've slept more than me. Or maybe caught the meteor show? How are you sleeping overall? I've wakened too early, a hot mess. Hormones are definitely toying with my metabolism and brain, and this is what makes me frightful, tinkering with them post withdrawal. Definitely a lonely hour to be thinking about this.

 

Bennie

 

I am lucky that once I do fall asleep I can usually sleep for 6+ hours, with tossing and turning,  but I can never fall asleep before 2AM. So if I have to work the next day it's rough. Also around the time of my period I will have at least one night of total insomnia. Hormones just put us all through the ringer I'm afraid.

[[Ne...]]

Nomo,

When we click on that link, which date/video or all of them?

I'm struggling this morning.

New Girl

[[Tr...]]

Nomo,

When we click on that link, which date/video or all of them?

I'm struggling this morning.

New Girl

 

New Girl,  when you click on the link it should bring up the video automatically.  It will have a grey haired man with a beard and blue tshirt, I think the video is number 86.

 

TRY

[[be...]]

CD, you ever had wonky brain sensations?  I hope you feel better. 

 

TRY

Try, I for sure have had them ! Probably still do getting use to a lot of this pfttt!

 

Don't you know your brain is on hiatus? It went to St. Bart's with Bets and decided to stay a while longer. When this is over it will come back with Paz. 

 

:laugh:

 

Get some sleep, already!  :smitten: I've been very busy looking  to buy a new place, plus take mom to every single doctor in CT.

[[...]]

Hi All I had about an hour of an amazing window last night.  It could have been longer but I fell asleep.  I was happy and connected.  Like my soul came back.

 

This morning I'm still having wonky brain.  The top of my head feels numb, and the left side of my neck feels like I pulled a muscle.  So bizarre. 

 

Wishing everyone a beautiful day of calm, and healing.

 

TRY

 

YAY TRY!!!  Now remember that feeling, because you will be THAT PERSON when this ride is over!!! :thumbsup:

 

New Girl;  I posted video 86 but I have watched most of them.  It is encouraging and hope-giving to listen to him.  He went through 40 years of alcoholism and 13 years of 4 mg Klonopin, along with a psych stay, ECT, far too many psych meds from well-meaning doctors....and after 2 years of hell, he is truly better than he was before meds.  His happiness is encouraging.

 

I got about 3 very interrupted hours of sleep last night.  Better than nothing!  Very Tough night and a migraine.  I am watching his videos  today "on the raft."  His December videos have a Christmas tree with lights in the background. I find Christmas music and images soothe me. 

 

First day in months without my walk.  Tomorrow will be much better. I am just getting through the hours.  I am so thankful I don't have to work or support my family, and that I have air conditioning.

 

Hang on guys. 

 

Nomo 

[[be...]]

Bennie:

 

I just bought from Amazon something that Chal said she used. It's called a neck wrap and has herbs in it. It is horse shoe shaped and made of fabric. It says to put in the the microwave to heat it up. I bought it just in case, but now I am doing just as well as my K taper. Do you have the same and what is it used for? I thought Chal said it was for anxiety but it seems to me to help kill neck pain. Know what I'm sayin'?

 

Betsy

[[Be...]]

Bennie:

 

I just bought from Amazon something that Chal said she used. It's called a neck wrap and has herbs in it. It is horse shoe shaped and made of fabric. It says to put in the the microwave to heat it up. I bought it just in case, but now I am doing just as well as my K taper. Do you have the same and what is it used for? I thought Chal said it was for anxiety but it seems to me to help kill neck pain. Know what I'm sayin'?

 

Betsy

 

I DO know what you are saying. Good neck support when you are in a chair or laying down is very important. Especially when you consider how easily our posture slumps. The calming herbs are nice too, if you are not allergic. Lavender is supposed to calm, but sometimes it makes my nose itch. The weight feels good to me. Seems as if you put all your ducks in a row to address potential symptoms, but are finding that it's helpful without even being in pain. That's excellent. They make eye pillows like that too.

Bennie

Edit: hope you find new digs soon.

[[Fa...]]

Good evening everyone!

 

Darn, I'm so disappointed, Seroquel didn't turn out to be a good sleep aid for me. Just like I took nothing.

Ouch!  I probably can't rely on it.

[[ca...]]

Hummm ? Got a window going  today or either I don`t feel as bad as usual = crazy ! So I guess when you been at 20/80 and go up to 60/40 all is good  I could actually get to like this ! Hotter then all hell out here and I think we all can say we know what hell feels like right. Hope everyone is doing ok and I sure hope Bennie did not run to many people over driving today lol ! @ Bets glad your doing so well your a Awesome benzo w/d prepper ! Good Evening Fading Out my ex is in your country for this whole month so beware lol !

[[Fa...]]

Hummm ? Got a window going  today or either I don`t feel as bad as usual = crazy ! So I guess when you been at 20/80 and go up to 60/40 all is good  I could actually get to like this ! Hotter then all hell out here and I think we all can say we know what hell feels like right. Hope everyone is doing ok and I sure hope Bennie did not run to many people over driving today lol ! @ Bets glad your doing so well your a Awesome benzo w/d prepper !

 

I'm glad you had a window!

 

Damn, I hate the heat out there too. 

[[...]]

Hummm ? Got a window going  today or either I don`t feel as bad as usual = crazy ! So I guess when you been at 20/80 and go up to 60/40 all is good  I could actually get to like this ! Hotter then all hell out here and I think we all can say we know what hell feels like right. Hope everyone is doing ok and I sure hope Bennie did not run to many people over driving today lol ! @ Bets glad your doing so well your a Awesome benzo w/d prepper !

 

I'm glad you had a window!

 

Damn, I hate the heat out there too. 

 

 

CD!  YAY!  Yep, "not too bad," is the new FABULOUS!  FadingOut:  Hope you are doing alright.

 

:smitten:

 

Nomo

[[Fa...]]

Hummm ? Got a window going  today or either I don`t feel as bad as usual = crazy ! So I guess when you been at 20/80 and go up to 60/40 all is good  I could actually get to like this ! Hotter then all hell out here and I think we all can say we know what hell feels like right. Hope everyone is doing ok and I sure hope Bennie did not run to many people over driving today lol ! @ Bets glad your doing so well your a Awesome benzo w/d prepper !

 

I'm glad you had a window!

 

Damn, I hate the heat out there too. 

 

 

CD!  YAY!  Yep, "not too bad," is the new FABULOUS!  FadingOut:  Hope you are doing alright.

 

:smitten:

 

Nomo

 

It didn't go too bad today. I'm just disappointed about my experience with Seroquel.

Totally ineffective on me.  Damn it, it's supposed to knock out everyone, but I can't count on it as sleep aid, it seems. 

[[Tr...]]

KK Family,. I found a pillow mist from Bath and Body works.  Called SLEEP.  It's Lavender and Chamomile, essential oils.  I'm very sensative to smells, it doesn't give me a headache.  It's not perfumy.  I spray it on my pillows (it doesn't stain them) about a half hour before I lay down.  It's very calming.  I spray it on a kleenex and keep it in my purse when I go out.  If I start feeling anxious I smell the kleenex.  Looks like I'm wiping my nose.  I know everyone is different.  Just thought I would share.

 

TRY

 

 

[[Tr...]]

Hi All I had about an hour of an amazing window last night.  It could have been longer but I fell asleep.  I was happy and connected.  Like my soul came back.

 

This morning I'm still having wonky brain.  The top of my head feels numb, and the left side of my neck feels like I pulled a muscle.  So bizarre. 

 

Wishing everyone a beautiful day of calm, and healing.

 

TRY

 

YAY TRY!!!  Now remember that feeling, because you will be THAT PERSON when this ride is over!!! :thumbsup:

 

New Girl;  I posted video 86 but I have watched most of them.  It is encouraging and hope-giving to listen to him.  He went through 40 years of alcoholism and 13 years of 4 mg Klonopin, along with a psych stay, ECT, far too many psych meds from well-meaning doctors....and after 2 years of hell, he is truly better than he was before meds.  His happiness is encouraging.

 

I got about 3 very interrupted hours of sleep last night.  Better than nothing!  Very Tough night and a migraine.  I am watching his videos  today "on the raft."  His December videos have a Christmas tree with lights in the background. I find Christmas music and images soothe me. 

 

First day in months without my walk.  Tomorrow will be much better. I am just getting through the hours.  I am so thankful I don't have to work or support my family, and that I have air conditioning.

 

Hang on guys. 

 

Nomo

 

Nomo I pray you are right.  For ALL of us to feel that way after this is over.

 

How are things going for you?  AC is a must! 

 

I was never heat sensative until this journey.  I took my dad's car to the car wash, had to sit outside.  My word, it was miserable. 

 

Hugs,

TRY

[[...]]

Hi All I had about an hour of an amazing window last night.  It could have been longer but I fell asleep.  I was happy and connected.  Like my soul came back.

 

This morning I'm still having wonky brain.  The top of my head feels numb, and the left side of my neck feels like I pulled a muscle.  So bizarre. 

 

Wishing everyone a beautiful day of calm, and healing.

 

TRY

 

YAY TRY!!!  Now remember that feeling, because you will be THAT PERSON when this ride is over!!! :thumbsup:

 

New Girl;  I posted video 86 but I have watched most of them.  It is encouraging and hope-giving to listen to him.  He went through 40 years of alcoholism and 13 years of 4 mg Klonopin, along with a psych stay, ECT, far too many psych meds from well-meaning doctors....and after 2 years of hell, he is truly better than he was before meds.  His happiness is encouraging.

 

I got about 3 very interrupted hours of sleep last night.  Better than nothing!  Very Tough night and a migraine.  I am watching his videos  today "on the raft."  His December videos have a Christmas tree with lights in the background. I find Christmas music and images soothe me. 

 

First day in months without my walk.  Tomorrow will be much better. I am just getting through the hours.  I am so thankful I don't have to work or support my family, and that I have air conditioning.

 

Hang on guys. 

 

Nomo

 

Nomo I pray you are right.  For ALL of us to feel that way after this is over.

 

How are things going for you?  AC is a must! 

 

I was never heat sensative until this journey.  I took my dad's car to the car wash, had to sit outside.  My word, it was miserable. 

 

Hugs,

TRY

 

Hi Try!

 

How are things for me:  Slow and weepy!  But it is 3 o'clock here so I am over the hump.  Today was my first day in months not walking my miles.  I am glad to at least know I am capable of not going.  I didn't lose my mind (as far as I know--If you lose it, would you even know??  I guess we can all take comfort in the fact that if we are afraid of losing our minds, we still have them.  er, um....right?)

 

It is hot here.  Oven like.  That is the way the South likes it.  I have been heat sensitive for about 10 years.  I am starting to see that I have been in some kinda tolerance withdrawal for that long.  THAT means things are gonna be AWESOME for me when this is over!  YAY!!

 

I hope things are not too stressful with your young adults.  My 19 yr. old is leaving tomorrow.  I love her dearly but it will relieve some stress.  She is just too cool for me.  Truth is she was born cool.

 

Hang in there!

Nomo

[[Kg...]]

I am reading everyone's post and LOL at Nomo's daughter being way too cool - I could use  some cool right now or some cold San Fran winds and fog.  Boy do I hate this heat.  Nothing much to report - same old, same old - good days and some 'bad' ones - today is a hit day but not as bad as my taper days just so...................tired of this.  I'm still on the roller coaster and sending everyone healing thoughts. 

[[be...]]

The heat here was even worse than yesterday. I went to the gym (forced myself) and I was the only one there! Weather man said with the high humidity it was 105 degrees. I thought it was hotter, and this is supposed to last through the weekend. I now wished I moved to Alaska..........

 

Bennie: Thanks for the info. You know I would be lost w/o you. I'm glad today is better for you. You do need a major break. And yes, as soon as I cash in some of my Disney stock nothing will prevent me from buying new digs. Too much personal stress. Gonna have a meltdown soon.

 

CD: Yes I have my ducks all lined up, just in case. But I find this taper to be a bit different than the K one. Valium is one weird drug. I can't tell from your signature as to how much valium you are on now. I want to see how it is going for you, since we were in the same boat. Sorta.........I guess you have many lines left. I'll lock my door because I don't know where your X will be visiting. I just assumed she still lived here.

 

Bets

[[Kl...]]

He guys.  I haven't posted in this thread before but I'm really in need of reaching out here.  So I'm at 0.0035 mg of Klonopin using a water titration. Yeah, less than 4 micrograms.  I can make a single pill last forever at this point.  It's been a multi year taper.  God I want to be done.  I'm doing a 2% per day taper holding as needed.  My body is so super sensitive to changes at this point.  For example, a couple weeks ago I hit a wall and kept my dose steady until I stabilized.  Stability didn't come so I updosed.  At the time I was taking 4 micrograms per day and added an additional 1 microgram dose.  Percentagewise that's more than I've EVER updosed (way more) although I've really only done that 3 or 4 other times in this multi year taper.  I'd been on the verge of suicide for a week and within 4 hours I was euphoric and hypomanic and that lasted a few days.  Over one single MICROGRAM.

 

I just don't know what to do.  Do I continue with the taper forever or do I just call it quits and cold turkey.  This dose is just ridiculously low.  On one hand, I'm concerned if I cold turkey I'll dive into a depression I won't be able to get out for months, maybe many months and even then I might need the help of another medication or might need to go inpatient.  God knows what they would do to me then.  Honestly, they would probably just pull another random benzo out of their hat.

 

On the other had, maybe for some reason my slow tapering is making things worse.  Maybe I'd be more stable if I just went cold turkey or called it quits altogether?

 

Then again, maybe I just need to go to twice per day dosing.  I don't really notice any interdose withdrawal effects but I don't know.

 

FML.  This sucks.  As an aside I have an EXTREMELY supportive and benzo-wise nurse practitioner.  She has all of the gory details on my symptoms and will support pretty much any decision I come up with.  All around amazing woman.

 

Thoughts?

[Guest [Gi...]]

Hi everyone,

Sorry that I stayed away yesterday. I woke up at 4 with major anxiety. I am having such a hard time with this back to school time. I just can't escape it. I can't watch tv as every 10 seconds it seems, there is a back to school commercial. Of course I live a quarter mile from an elementary school, so I see school buses. If I go shopping, school shopping or talking about school is taking place.  I keep having these ruminating thoughts about my grief of not being a teacher, and it creates feelings of depression and shame. I have lost track of the number of times that I have cried about all of this.  Monday is the first day for students. I am trying to just accept all of this and move forward with my life. It is so hard to think that this time last year, I was in such a different place.

I am so sorry to complain because I know that so many people are having a really rough time. I now that I am beating a dead horse here as well.

I hope that everyone has as good of a weekend as possible. Stay cool if you can. I'm glad to hear that some of you are feeling better.

Warmly,

Gilster