The Klonopin Klub

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I could..... 

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Nomo, young adults are a challenge even without being in withdrawal.  My reaction to stress is horrible.  At one time I could roll with the punches, now it crushes me.  We do the best we can.  One day it won't be an issue.

 

Young adults? Are you a teacher and work with young people or something like that?

 

I'm a mother of a 22yr old and 19yr old. 

 

You could be my mother then, I'm 24. xD

Fading Out I could be your Father so if you go back on Benzo`s after this ordeal I will come whip your butt lol ! Try, Mana,  Coyote this is getting a bit trippy eh? Weather is so nasty out East says it feels like 104 out and I am way up North, has my Asthma all messed up so just another thing to deal with errr ! Be well ~CD

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Yo Fading...I think you just proved TRY's point.   

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xDDD

 

Fading Out I could be your Father so if you go back on Benzo`s after this ordeal I will come whip your butt lol ! Try, Mana,

 

Of course, I never want to see a benzo again!

 

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Coyote 

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CD, you ever had wonky brain sensations?  I hope you feel better. 

 

TRY

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CD, you ever had wonky brain sensations?  I hope you feel better. 

 

TRY

Try, I for sure have had them ! Probably still do getting use to a lot of this pfttt!

[[Be...]]

Every buddy needs a jumping buddy. 

 

FWIW, toward end of my taper I had new head symptoms, while old stuff faded away: I had deep cog fog, headaches, sudden tiredness, sudden loss of hearing in one ear like I was in a fishbowl and lasted several minutes, momentary dizziness, being off-balance... Wasn't much I could do other than rest, take Tylenol, use my trusty ice pack, belly breathe and hunker down. I think we do a pretty good job of accepting these things. The part that's frustrating is that we can't change them from happening. So there's the rub: accepting lack of control. Scary when our sense of safety is compromised. Yet, time and again these symptoms prove to be changeable, and go away to a large degree. We are safe yet scared. It's understandable; it can be overwhelming. That's what I have you guys for. To talk me off the ledge when I can't help myself... For anyone on the ledge, I'm holding out my hand.

 

Nomo, good to see you come through KK. Super big hug to you! 

Hi WR and Maya, Burned, Bstrong, New Girl, Liberty, Kgirl, My Mana, Daisies, Coyote, CDs, FOL, Ash and (ALL).

 

I'm doing pretty good with the hip and groin pain this morning. I'm walking pretty well. No shoveling or scrabbling in the garden, but moving OK. Sitting in the car however is a killer. NMT is helping ALOT. Anxiety is down but dogging me. I'm vigilant with breathing exercises.  I'm trying to steer clear of anything and anybody that would amp it up. I received a text from a friend sharing gossip, and I'm not responding; it's distasteful and activating. I'm even steering clear of my husband right now! Instead of amassing all my concerns in my head, I am writing them down, trying to formulate an action plan. I used to think it all came down to getting everything accomplished. Now success is about being flexible, adjusting expectations, letting go. If NOTHING, this is the biggest lesson in resiliency. And it's changed my life for the better. I don't regret the learning; I regret how I got here. For the young whippersnappers who believe they are invincible, take care of yourselves well now!

 

Onward, friends.

Bennie

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CD, you ever had wonky brain sensations?  I hope you feel better. 

 

TRY

Try, I for sure have had them ! Probably still do getting use to a lot of this pfttt!

 

Don't you know your brain is on hiatus? It went to St. Bart's with Bets and decided to stay a while longer. When this is over it will come back with Paz. 

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CD, you ever had wonky brain sensations?  I hope you feel better. 

 

TRY

Try, I for sure have had them ! Probably still do getting use to a lot of this pfttt!

 

Don't you know your brain is on hiatus? It went to St. Bart's with Bets and decided to stay a while longer. When this is over it will come back with Paz. 

 

Bennie, you are so right. It's not coming back anytime soon.  Forgive me what is Paz?

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Try,  Hopefully Bennie is either napping or out living large!  PAZ is spanish for"peace," which is what Clona21, a KK bud who jumped and is living with immense PEACE, calls it. 

 

PEACE and Hope to you today!!

 

N.

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I just scrolled down.  Thanks Try, for the encouragement!  Sounds like we were pregnancy buddies back 22 and 19 + years back!  Boy, how many times have I thought my very tough pregnancies, labors and deliveries were a Piece of Cake compared to Withdrawal!!

 

So FadingOutLight, you could be MY son, as well.  Watch your p's and q's, young man! 

 

Hugs Bennie!  Been thinking about you as usual.

 

Love to all here at KK.  Especially those too shy to post.  Glad you are here. :smitten:

 

Nomo

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I just scrolled down.  Thanks Try, for the encouragement!  Sounds like we were pregnancy buddies back 22 and 19 + years back!  Boy, how many times have I thought my very tough pregnancies, labors and deliveries were a Piece of Cake compared to Withdrawal!!

 

So FadingOutLight, you could be MY son, as well.  Watch your p's and q's, young man! 

 

Hugs Bennie!  Been thinking about you as usual.

 

Love to all here at KK.  Especially those too shy to post.  Glad you are here. :smitten:

 

Nomo

 

Nomo, both of mine were a piece of cake.  No morning sickness with either one, no nausea.  Guess withdrawal is making up for what I missed.

 

I know I'm older than you.   

 

Thanks for letting me know what paz means.  I learned something new today.

 

Big Hug,

TRY

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Living large, oh yeah, that's me! Cleaning the gunked-up printer head so the stupid printer will print!! 2 points for figuring out how to fix the problem, 2 points for cleaning the printer head, and 2 points that it actually worked. -2 points for the ink on my fingers. 

 

FWIW, If I get a dog, I may name it Paz. Or Bennie. 

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Soo Bennie....Ya got 4 points!  That is Fabulous!  I vote you get a dog!!!  Imagine your pleasant little walks!

 

I liked your post today. You sound good.  Fully agree on avoiding friends with gossip.  No thanks to that.  Gotta guard our minds and hearts.  Just the good stuff goes in. 

 

What kinda dog? 

 

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Bennie, I still like our island idea.  I think it would do us all wonders!!!  You'd come back feeling like running and skipping.

 

TRY

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Yikes I forgot just how quickly this forum moves! If only we were Olympic swimmers

 

Ash and everyone else in a similar position! DO NOT STOP COLD TURKEY! I am writing my success story and part of that is that I hope people don't have to go through the pain that I've gone through. That is in part from stopping cold turkey. Feel free to PM me with questions. Whatever you do, please please please, don't think cold turkey is the easiest way to free yourself from K. The people here on KK have such great advice. PLEASE listen to them and don't stop cold turkey. People here on KK know my personal tale. I was just dating a dude and left him because he stopped K cold turkey in light of my experience. There are so many people here to help. Stopping ct is NOT a good idea. Take it from me. Miss you all!

[[Be...]]

Bennie, I still like our island idea.  I think it would do us all wonders!!!  You'd come back feeling like running and skipping.

 

TRY

 

TRY,

yes, the island sounds good. it's gotta have a pleasant ocean breeze. I am running and skipping in my mind. My brain is not in agreement, however; it wants to sleep. Maybe that's because I DROVE MY CAR! It's been weeks and weeks of being a passenger. I wasn't too uncomfortable. I've had ease today: open lanes, green lights, no wait check-outs, patience waiting for the gas pump, solving problems minus teeth gnashing. I hope it ripples into tomorrow.

 

Nomo,

I would get a MUTT! I'm always rooting for the underdog. A cross between a terrier and a Mountain Cur. 

 

Bennie

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Bennie, I still like our island idea.  I think it would do us all wonders!!!  You'd come back feeling like running and skipping.

 

TRY

 

TRY,

yes, the island sounds good. it's gotta have a pleasant ocean breeze. I am running and skipping in my mind. My brain is not in agreement, however; it wants to sleep. Maybe that's because I DROVE MY CAR! It's been weeks and weeks of being a passenger. I wasn't too uncomfortable. I've had ease today: open lanes, green lights, no wait check-outs, patience waiting for the gas pump, solving problems minus teeth gnashing. I hope it ripples into tomorrow.

 

Nomo,

I would get a MUTT! I'm always rooting for the underdog. A cross between a terrier and a Mountain Cur. 

 

Bennie

 

Bennie LOOK AT WHAT YOU ARE CAPABLE OF!!!  DRIVNG IS HUGE!!!      What a fantastic day for you!!!!  Many more to come!!

 

TRY

[[B ...]]

KK,

 

Try....I use your name everyday to my wife, I say "I'm TRYing", over and over. Seems that's the best I can do is just keep trying. Hang in there...

 

Bennie, glad you could drive today. That's big.

 

Nomo, prayers to you my friend.

 

Been laying low as things are tough.

 

Healing and hope to all....CD, Mana, Maya, Daisies, WR, Burned, Kgirl, New Girl, Gilster, Coyote, and everyone else here.

 

B strong

[[Tr...]]

KK,

 

Try....I use your name everyday to my wife, I say "I'm TRYing", over and over. Seems that's the best I can do is just keep trying. Hang in there...

 

Bennie, glad you could drive today. That's big.

 

Nomo, prayers to you my friend.

 

Been laying low as things are tough.

 

Healing and hope to all....CD, Mana, Maya, Daisies, WR, Burned, Kgirl, New Girl, Gilster, Coyote, and everyone else here.

 

B strong

 

B strong I use your name daily.  I'm trying to B Strong! 

Hang in there my friend.  The day will come when "try" is no longer in your vocabulary!

 

TRY

 

[[mi...]]

I guess it's a health anxiety kind of night for me. Weird stabby pains in the left side of my neck/collar bone and have convinced myself I'm having some sort of anyeurism (spelling?), then an article about ALS came up in my Facebook newsfeed and triggered a panic attack. Health anxiety is what started me on the dreaded K in the first place. Ugh. I hope everyone else is sleeping or having an otherwise uneventful night. Looks like I may be up all night.

[[Be...]]

I guess it's a health anxiety kind of night for me. Weird stabby pains in the left side of my neck/collar bone and have convinced myself I'm having some sort of anyeurism (spelling?), then an article about ALS came up in my Facebook newsfeed and triggered a panic attack. Health anxiety is what started me on the dreaded K in the first place. Ugh. I hope everyone else is sleeping or having an otherwise uneventful night. Looks like I may be up all night.

 

Hi Miss B,

 

Time for you to put your health fears to rest, and you to bed.  Aneurysm pains don't manifest the way you're describing, from the few direct experiences I have with relatives. ALS? Hmmm. I read that med students diagnose themselves with at least three major diseases by the end of their first year in med school. We're sort of in a health crisis bubble here on BB, but I think withdrawal is the main butt kicker. I was stabbed by chest pain this afternoon and was thankful it had been a while since that happened. I ignored it and it later went away. I figure after all the tests I've had, it truly is what they say: inflammation of the chest wall muscles. Makes sense to me, given that it started when I went on K, and it's a muscle relaxer. The neck pain thing is going around in withdrawal. Maybe try a heating pad or ibuprofen? I hope you can breathe deep and relax enough to sleep.

Bennie

[[mi...]]

I guess it's a health anxiety kind of night for me. Weird stabby pains in the left side of my neck/collar bone and have convinced myself I'm having some sort of anyeurism (spelling?), then an article about ALS came up in my Facebook newsfeed and triggered a panic attack. Health anxiety is what started me on the dreaded K in the first place. Ugh. I hope everyone else is sleeping or having an otherwise uneventful night. Looks like I may be up all night.

 

Hi Miss B,

 

Time for you to put your health fears to rest, and you to bed.  Aneurysm pains don't manifest the way you're describing, from the few direct experiences I have with relatives. ALS? Hmmm. I read that med students diagnose themselves with at least three major diseases by the end of their first year in med school. We're sort of in a health crisis bubble here on BB, but I think withdrawal is the main butt kicker. I was stabbed by chest pain this afternoon and was thankful it had been a while since that happened. I ignored it and it later went away. I figure after all the tests I've had, it truly is what they say: inflammation of the chest wall muscles. Makes sense to me, given that it started when I went on K, and it's a muscle relaxer. The neck pain thing is going around in withdrawal. Maybe try a heating pad or ibuprofen? I hope you can breathe deep and relax enough to sleep.

Bennie

 

Hey Bennie,  thank you as always for the response. I am over the fear of an aneurysm and the random shooting pains have gone away for now. There was a popular internet model who fell at a shoot and was complaining of neck pain for several days and they found her dead of an aneurysm.  I know that's a super atypical way for them to present, but of course my benzo brain remembers tiny enough details about health related situations to give me panic.

 

As far as ALS I believe I almost have a sort of phobia about getting it. Sometimes I'm afraid even reading about it will cause me to get it which I know sounds absolutely insane. Any articles about it really triggered me and it has been my greatest health anxiety fear.  Probably because it's just an awful disease and the idea of being trapped in a failing body with a perfectly sound mind terrifies me.

 

I definitely have the chest wall pain especially underneath my breasts sometimes when I sleep without a bra and then I roll over they can wake me up in the middle of the night. Early in withdrawal I went to the doctor thinking it was heart issues and he diagnosed me with chostochondritis.

 

I'm without health insurance right now so I couldn't go to the doctor even if I wanted to. I'm struggling to find full-time work with benefits and there's not  many jobs around here in my particular field.

 

The meteor shower supposed to be at peak right about now so maybe I'll use the lack of sleep to my benefit and go outside and try to see some shooting stars.  I've been reading on the thread even when I don't post and I've seen how hard of a time you've been having and I just want to let you know that through our limited interaction you have been such a source of hope and courage and strength for me to persevere through out this taper and I hope that you're feeling better.

[[Be...]]

Miss B,

 

 

I'm hoping you've slept more than me. Or maybe caught the meteor show? How are you sleeping overall? I've wakened too early, a hot mess. Hormones are definitely toying with my metabolism and brain, and this is what makes me frightful, tinkering with them post withdrawal. Definitely a lonely hour to be thinking about this.

 

Bennie