The Klonopin Klub

[[mi...]]

Would anyone mind explaining to me what chemical anxiety vs cortisol rush is? I think I've been having bad chemical anxiety all week, especially when I lie down to try to go to sleep. My heart starts racing and I just feel all worked up and generally off, hard to explain, but not thinking about anything in particular. Sleep hasn't been very good.

 

 

Also, has anyone tried melatonin? I'm so scared to take anything anymore.

 

Thanks all,

Sarah

[[...]]

missb,

 

From what I have read, there is a cortisol release usually around 4 a.m. to begin the gentle awakening of the normal person.  For those of us with compromised central nervous systems (benzo withdrawal,) the start of a gentle little wake up call hits us like a 5 alarm fire siren, on steroids. 

 

It leads to the sort of anxiety we call "chemical," which can also pop up any time, (like bedtime when your cortisol is at it's lowest,) due to the damn glutamate firing all over the place and the inability of the gaba receptors to take in soothing gaba.  I like to call chemical anxiety "the shit storm," bit we are not supposed to curse here on Benzobuddies.

 

Hope you can deep breath through it or maybe put on a guided meditation from youtube.  I've done it all; even an 8 hour harp music youtube. 

 

Hugs,

Nomo

[[NY...]]

Would anyone mind explaining to me what chemical anxiety vs cortisol rush is? I think I've been having bad chemical anxiety all week, especially when I lie down to try to go to sleep. My heart starts racing and I just feel all worked up and generally off, hard to explain, but not thinking about anything in particular. Sleep hasn't been very good.

 

 

Also, has anyone tried melatonin? I'm so scared to take anything anymore.

 

Thanks all,

Sarah

 

Hi Sarah,

 

I think adrenaline/cortisol rush is a better description, b/c not necessary attached to emotions - just an awful physical sensation, like acid running through my veins.  About a month before jumping I got the symptom you described at night, and it just started to break up these last couple of weeks.

 

I used to use melatonin, before and during taper.  I'm not sure how useful it was, but I don't think harmful.  For the adrenaline/sleep issue, marijuana has been most helpful (getting me to sleep/staying asleep).

 

Hi Bennie,

 

I think of you each morning when I eat one of your muffins.  What on earth did I do without them? 

 

Glad you can eat garlic and other yummy things again.    I'm definitely still being cautious, but at least giving each my "fear foods" a try. That includes most foods

 

So glad you're feeling better these last few days.  I thought of you during my adrenaline wave - whenever I was going to reach for something (magnesium, inositol, Chinese herbs...), I stopped and thought of your sage advise:  "don't upset the hostage taker".  A great lesson for me. 

 

Love and BIG hugs,

WR

 

 

 

 

 

[[mi...]]

Thanks Nomo and WR. I think I will pass on the melatonin and just ride it out.

[[sw...]]

Have you tried the cortisol cocktail? Oj, pink salt, and cream of tartar? Supposed to ease cortisol rushes or general anxiety and assist sleep naturally.

[[mi...]]

Have you tried the cortisol cocktail? Oj, pink salt, and cream of tartar? Supposed to ease cortisol rushes or general anxiety and assist sleep naturally.

 

I haven't, but I'll look into it. I just wasn't for sure if what I was feeling was caused by cortisol.

[[sw...]]

Hey folks, been awhile bc I've really been struggling both mentally and physically. Acceptance has never been my strong point. xxxxxx

 

I've had fatigue since the moment I started tapering. Will it only get worse? I fear becoming bedbound is inevitable. Does fatigue ever improve during a taper? My fear is being overactive.

 

My dog Charlie has fully recovered. In just two weeks he went from having his guys ripped out to leaping from the couch to the bed. My dad said he healed so fast bc "he didn't know he couldn't."

 

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[[sw...]]

Have you tried the cortisol cocktail? Oj, pink salt, and cream of tartar? Supposed to ease cortisol rushes or general anxiety and assist sleep naturally.

 

I haven't, but I'll look into it. I just wasn't for sure if what I was feeling was caused by cortisol.

 

Either way you could possibly benefit. Try coconut oil if OJ doesn't agree with you.

[[Ce...]]

Hey folks, been awhile bc I've really been struggling both mentally and physically. Acceptance has never been my strong point xxxx . xxx

 

I've had fatigue since the moment I started tapering. Will it only get worse? I fear becoming bedbound is inevitable. Does fatigue ever improve during a taper? My fear is being overactive.

 

My dog Charlie has fully recovered. In just two weeks he went from having his guys ripped out to leaping from the couch to the bed. My dad said he healed so fast bc "he didn't know he couldn't."

 

Hi swickey,

 

I just want to say I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. I just lost one too for the same reason. It happened so fast, and it was unexpected. Acceptance isn't my strong point, either. Especially when it comes to this kind of thing.  Prayers....CeCe 

[[sw...]]

Hey folks, been awhile bc I've really been struggling both mentally and physically. Acceptance has never been my strong point. xxxxxx

I've had fatigue since the moment I started tapering. Will it only get worse? I fear becoming bedbound is inevitable. Does fatigue ever improve during a taper? My fear is being overactive.

 

My dog Charlie has fully recovered. In just two weeks he went from having his guys ripped out to leaping from the couch to the bed. My dad said he healed so fast bc "he didn't know he couldn't."

 

Hi swickey,

 

I just want to say I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. I just lost one too for the same reason. It happened so fast, and it was unexpected. Acceptance isn't my strong point, either. Especially when it comes to this kind of thing.  Prayers....CeCe

 

Thanks CeCe, my heart goes out to you as well. These are the hardest of times.

 

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[[mi...]]

I don't quite understand what is going on with me. Last night was one of the worst nights I've had in a really long time. I had the reemergence of some akathisia,  Random parts of my face and body going numb, almost constant panic, and I only slept about two hours. I was so nauseous, having diarrhea I had to be to work by 830 and I was almost falling asleep driving to work. 

 

But once I got to work I was fine I really wasn't even that tired all day, I didn't have any panic attacks even though I had a full caseload of patients. I was even feeling pleasant. How can I be so awful from around midnight to eight in the morning and then fine all day? Did anyone have waves that would just last only for certain times of the day?

 

Could my last cut from .0625 to .05 have been too much?

[[NY...]]

I don't quite understand what is going on with me. Last night was one of the worst nights I've had in a really long time. I had the reemergence of some akathisia,  Random parts of my face and body going numb, almost constant panic, and I only slept about two hours. I was so nauseous, having diarrhea I had to be to work by 830 and I was almost falling asleep driving to work. 

 

But once I got to work I was fine I really wasn't even that tired all day, I didn't have any panic attacks even though I had a full caseload of patients. I was even feeling pleasant. How can I be so awful from around midnight to eight in the morning and then fine all day? Did anyone have waves that would just last only for certain times of the day?

 

Could my last cut from .0625 to .05 have been too much?

 

I followed this pattern too at low doses, but it got better once I jumped.  Mine would start up at around 2am, let up around 6AM.  Awful feeling..sorry you're dealing with it too.  It gets better.

 

Love,

WR

[[mi...]]

I don't quite understand what is going on with me. Last night was one of the worst nights I've had in a really long time. I had the reemergence of some akathisia,  Random parts of my face and body going numb, almost constant panic, and I only slept about two hours. I was so nauseous, having diarrhea I had to be to work by 830 and I was almost falling asleep driving to work. 

 

But once I got to work I was fine I really wasn't even that tired all day, I didn't have any panic attacks even though I had a full caseload of patients. I was even feeling pleasant. How can I be so awful from around midnight to eight in the morning and then fine all day? Did anyone have waves that would just last only for certain times of the day?

 

Could my last cut from .0625 to .05 have been too much?

 

I followed this pattern too at low doses, but it got better once I jumped.  Mine would start up at around 2am, let up around 6AM.  Awful feeling..sorry you're dealing with it too.  It gets better.

 

Love,

WR

 

I wonder if I should just jump?

[[NY...]]

I don't quite understand what is going on with me. Last night was one of the worst nights I've had in a really long time. I had the reemergence of some akathisia,  Random parts of my face and body going numb, almost constant panic, and I only slept about two hours. I was so nauseous, having diarrhea I had to be to work by 830 and I was almost falling asleep driving to work. 

 

But once I got to work I was fine I really wasn't even that tired all day, I didn't have any panic attacks even though I had a full caseload of patients. I was even feeling pleasant. How can I be so awful from around midnight to eight in the morning and then fine all day? Did anyone have waves that would just last only for certain times of the day?

 

Could my last cut from .0625 to .05 have been too much?

 

I followed this pattern too at low doses, but it got better once I jumped.  Mine would start up at around 2am, let up around 6AM.  Awful feeling..sorry you're dealing with it too.  It gets better.

 

Love,

WR

 

I wonder if I should just jump?

 

I think you'd be fine jumping at .05mg, but if in your shoes I'd follow through with whatever plan you had.  Some of these sxs may just hang out while you taper off and for a couple of weeks after you jump.  Maybe Bennie, Kgirl and others will chime in too about how it played out for them. 

 

LIke you I was really thrown by this sx, scared it was going to stick around, that I messed up somehow in my taper, etc .  I think it may just be part of the process, benzos leaving our system for good.

 

❤WR

 

 

 

[[mi...]]

I don't quite understand what is going on with me. Last night was one of the worst nights I've had in a really long time. I had the reemergence of some akathisia,  Random parts of my face and body going numb, almost constant panic, and I only slept about two hours. I was so nauseous, having diarrhea I had to be to work by 830 and I was almost falling asleep driving to work. 

 

But once I got to work I was fine I really wasn't even that tired all day, I didn't have any panic attacks even though I had a full caseload of patients. I was even feeling pleasant. How can I be so awful from around midnight to eight in the morning and then fine all day? Did anyone have waves that would just last only for certain times of the day?

 

Could my last cut from .0625 to .05 have been too much?

 

I followed this pattern too at low doses, but it got better once I jumped.  Mine would start up at around 2am, let up around 6AM.  Awful feeling..sorry you're dealing with it too.  It gets better.

 

Love,

WR

 

I wonder if I should just jump?

 

I think you'd be fine jumping at .05mg, but if in your shoes I'd follow through with whatever plan you had.  Some of these sxs may just hang out while you taper off and for a couple of weeks after you jump.  Maybe Bennie, Kgirl and others will chime in too about how it played out for them. 

 

LIke you I was really thrown by this sx, scared it was going to stick around, that I messed up somehow in my taper, etc .  I think it may just be part of the process, benzos leaving our system for good.

 

❤WR

 

Thanks WR    i've never really known what plan I wanted to follow regarding when I wanted to jump. I get so confused as to if .05 mg is really the same as 1 mg of Valium and if that's too much to jump from, because I see some people tapering even Valium to such a very low dose like .05 so it just gets all jumbled up in my mind and I get frustrated and confused.

[[NY...]]

I don't quite understand what is going on with me. Last night was one of the worst nights I've had in a really long time. I had the reemergence of some akathisia,  Random parts of my face and body going numb, almost constant panic, and I only slept about two hours. I was so nauseous, having diarrhea I had to be to work by 830 and I was almost falling asleep driving to work. 

 

But once I got to work I was fine I really wasn't even that tired all day, I didn't have any panic attacks even though I had a full caseload of patients. I was even feeling pleasant. How can I be so awful from around midnight to eight in the morning and then fine all day? Did anyone have waves that would just last only for certain times of the day?

 

Could my last cut from .0625 to .05 have been too much?

 

I followed this pattern too at low doses, but it got better once I jumped.  Mine would start up at around 2am, let up around 6AM.  Awful feeling..sorry you're dealing with it too.  It gets better.

 

Love,

WR

 

I wonder if I should just jump?

 

I think you'd be fine jumping at .05mg, but if in your shoes I'd follow through with whatever plan you had.  Some of these sxs may just hang out while you taper off and for a couple of weeks after you jump.  Maybe Bennie, Kgirl and others will chime in too about how it played out for them. 

 

LIke you I was really thrown by this sx, scared it was going to stick around, that I messed up somehow in my taper, etc .  I think it may just be part of the process, benzos leaving our system for good.

 

❤WR

 

Thanks WR    i've never really known what plan I wanted to follow regarding when I wanted to jump. I get so confused as to if .05 mg is really the same as 1 mg of Valium and if that's too much to jump from, because I see some people tapering even Valium to such a very low dose like .05 so it just gets all jumbled up in my mind and I get frustrated and confused.

 

.05 is definitely not too much to jump from.  I tapered really low, .005mg, but in hindsight likely unnecessary.  Just do whatever makes you feel safe, comfortable.  Either way you're in the home stretch! 

[[Tr...]]

Hi KK Family, hope everyone is having a calm and relaxing weekend!

 

TRY

[[Tr...]]

WR, how is your weekend going?

 

missB, nice job!!!  You are definately in the home stretch!!!

 

TRY

[[NY...]]

Hi KK Family, hope everyone is having a calm and relaxing weekend!

 

TRY

 

Hi Try. 

 

Calm and relaxing?  Meh, sorta.  I can feel a veil of mental sxs over me today and yesterday but trying to pay them no mind.  Hope you're doing okay?

 

Big hug.

WR

[[Tr...]]

Hi KK Family, hope everyone is having a calm and relaxing weekend!

 

TRY

 

Hi Try. 

 

Calm and relaxing?  Meh, sorta.  I can feel a veil of mental sxs over me today and yesterday but trying to pay them no mind.  Hope you're doing okay?

 

Big hug.

WR

 

WR, I've been dealing with my normal left side sxs. Did a cut 3 days ago, I can feel things starting rev up.  The lower I get I feel the cuts a little sooner.  I'm trying to stay motivated.  Getting tried of it all.  I didn't come this far for nothing so love it or hate it have to keep pushing.

 

We both know those mental sxs will pass, as they have done before.

 

Hugs,

TRY

[[NY...]]

Hi KK Family, hope everyone is having a calm and relaxing weekend!

 

TRY

 

Hi Try. 

 

Calm and relaxing?  Meh, sorta.  I can feel a veil of mental sxs over me today and yesterday but trying to pay them no mind.  Hope you're doing okay?

 

Big hug.

WR

 

WR, I've been dealing with my normal left side sxs. Did a cut 3 days ago, I can feel things starting rev up.  The lower I get I feel the cuts a little sooner.  I'm trying to stay motivated.  Getting tried of it all.  I didn't come this far for nothing so love it or hate it have to keep pushing.

 

We both know those mental sxs will pass, as they have done before.

 

Hugs,

TRY

 

I know it has been a long journey for you. Almost to the finish line, K free 4-ever 

 

Yeah, the mental sxs come and go but I try not to entertain them too much.  Taking epsom bath, making yummy snack,  and doing my bedtime yoga. Then heading to bed early.  Pulling out all the stops for self love.

 

Hope you sleep well.

 

Hugs,

WR

[[mi...]]

I've decided I'm jumping- tonight. I just really feel like the tiny amount of benzo is paradoxical at this point and I just want to be done. Hopefully I won't regret my choice.

[[Ce...]]

I've decided I'm jumping- tonight. I just really feel like the tiny amount of benzo is paradoxical at this point and I just want to be done. Hopefully I won't regret my choice.

 

Good luck, missb,

 

Be strong!! If it's paradoxical at this point, it sounds like a wise decision! 

[[Tr...]]

missB, Congrats on your jump!!!  Working, and tapering.  I don't know how you did it. 

 

TRY

[[mi...]]

missB, Congrats on your jump!!!  Working, and tapering.  I don't know how you did it. 

 

TRY

 

The one benefit of working PRN is that I can say no if I'm not feeling good and they ask me to work. The cons are obviously no benefits and no guaranteed hours, but it was definitely the only way I was able to work while tapering.