The Klonopin Klub

[[NY...]]

GO BENNIE!!! :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

 

Hi folks,

 

So many KKers going low and slow, kinda the way you cook a brisket.  That's the way to do it, but not too slow—you wanna be off this crap. And you will, and time will still be the benchmark, but at least you'll be on the other side. COME TO THE LIGHT!

 

Had myself an 85% day with some hip stuff kicking in, but few worries. I'll get my NMT session tomorrow. Visited a friend on the other side of the bay, brought lunch, and enjoyed the drive. I ate garlic for the first time in three years and so far, I'm good.    Yesterday, I made and ate gluten-free chocolate chip cookies (itty bitty chips), and I was good with that too.  Funny, eating those cookies was not as satisfying as I thought. My taste buds have changed I guess. My brain has changed for sure.

 

Bets,

So glad you finally used the natural sleep aid. I am usually out like a light when I do deep breathing and recite my mantra in my head. When you are stressed, go to your car or somewhere and do the breathing. It will help then too. In fact, just do it when you think about it. You'll be training your nervous system to be in a calmer state... I hope you are getting a reprieve on the home front—at least a little. 

 

Bennie

 

Bennie  :smitten:

 

Hunkering down here buddies, but thinking of you all. Will pop back in soon.

 

WR

 

 

[[my...]]

Thank you Burned Out!  It is good to finally get a response from someone.  I know to continue to taper is best, but it gets so hard sometimes and I get impatient.  I just have to be thankful for the windows that are good.  I never thought I would ever have to go through something like this...it seems to be a bad dream.  Thank you so much again

 

Hi LaHenz,

 

Yeah...a bad dream would definitely be one way to put it. 

 

I think the reason we are a little confused is that your signature seems to vary in terms of where the decimal point goes.  I have a feeling that your doctor moved you to .5 mg K twice a day rather than .050 mg K.  Is that right?  It makes a difference, obviously!  In which case, you have tapered from 1 mg K daily to .20 mg K in a relatively short period of time.

 

Bennie gave you good advice...If any of us could go more quickly without ramping up symptoms and doing even more damage as a result, we would. 

 

Yes..it's tough when life stressors happen...hard to shield oneself from them but try your best to take good care...you will have more stamina and be better able to cope with stuff as it comes up.

 

Wishing you well 

 

Mana

 

 

[[Kl...]]

Recovering, what a great thread, thank you. Not sure I want to be a member of the Klonopin Klub, but here I am! It sure does feel like the worst of the benzos, doesn't it.

 

I haven't been post taper for very long, but so far things are good. I had a horrible experience unknowingly jumping at .5mgs and was expecting to experience all of that again, but that hasn't been the case so far. I've had some very dark moments throughout the acute phase of my w/d, but I can confidently say they passed and I now feel like I am healing. As Benzo3 said, it seems that Klonopin really hits the muscles and I was initially started on it for a muscle issue. So, it's hard to determine what's w/d and what's baseline for me. Hopefully I'll have a better picture in a few months.

 

Luci, congratulations on making it to 4 months! I hate to hear you're dealing with such horrendous fatigue. I've been there and it's an awful feeling. All of your symptoms are EXACTLY mine, and those are all my biggies, too. I've gone through some really rough patches with it all and it passed. I'm positive it will pass for you, as well! Hang in there!

 

Benzo3, I hear you on the muscle thing. Unfortunately, I don't get true windows, but even on the good days I can't seem to shake all the muscle stuff going on.

 

Ally

When did you start feeling relief? Curious K

 

Hey klnofree,

The post you are interested in getting a response about is 4 years old. *gasp*

Bennie

Lol does that mean I don't get an answer lol 

[[La...]]

Thank you Burned Out!  It is good to finally get a response from someone.  I know to continue to taper is best, but it gets so hard sometimes and I get impatient.  I just have to be thankful for the windows that are good.  I never thought I would ever have to go through something like this...it seems to be a bad dream.  Thank you so much again

 

Hi LaHenz,

 

Yeah...a bad dream would definitely be one way to put it. 

 

I think the reason we are a little confused is that your signature seems to vary in terms of where the decimal point goes.  I have a feeling that your doctor moved you to .5 mg K twice a day rather than .050 mg K.  Is that right?  It makes a difference, obviously!  In which case, you have tapered from 1 mg K daily to .20 mg K in a relatively short period of time.

 

Bennie gave you good advice...If any of us could go more quickly without ramping up symptoms and doing even more damage as a result, we would. 

 

Yes..it's tough when life stressors happen...hard to shield oneself from them but try your best to take good care...you will have more stamina and be better able to cope with stuff as it comes up.

 

Wishing you well 

 

Mana

 

Hi Mana,

 

Yes, I definitely didn't have the decimals right.  (a little dense in math!) and being fairly new at this and having the Klonopin brain, I put it down wrong.  Thank you for showing me this - every time I looked at it, I kind of got confused too!  Hope it makes better sense now.

 

I got a lot of good advice from people on here today and I feel more encouraged and really feel better.  Thank you for helping me - praying that you will do well and best wishes to you also!

 

LaHenz

[[th...]]

Havent been on the boards for probably 6 months, wanted to stop in this thread and read around. Some familiar names on the boards here that have either come completely off K or tapered down a lot. Good job to you guys!

 

I am still at 5mg daily and have yet to really put any effort into trying to taper..maybe one day.

[[ca...]]

Just passing thru and reading how everyone is doing and some very good some so so . So sending Healing Hugs to ( Everyone ) and hoping the day brings great things ! CD

[[...]]

Can Do,

 

How are you doing lately?  I've been thinking of you and praying for you.  Please let me and the rest of us know.  ((((Huggs!!!))))

 

[[ca...]]

Can Do,

 

How are you doing lately?  I've been thinking of you and praying for you.  Please let me and the rest of us know.  ((((Huggs!!!))))

Nomo, I am doing better you know the deal couple good days couple bad and this weather has not been kind has my head plugged up and does make me a bit woozy. Been at this 23 months and it has worn me down as all of us know how much this wears us down. That is why we need to take good care of our bodies! Thanks for keeping me in your prayer your always in mine !Huggs ~CD

[[NY...]]

Can Do,

 

How are you doing lately?  I've been thinking of you and praying for you.  Please let me and the rest of us know.  ((((Huggs!!!))))

Nomo, I am doing better you know the deal couple good days couple bad and this weather has not been kind has my head plugged up and does make me a bit woozy. Been at this 23 months and it has worn me down as all of us know how much this wears us down. That is why we need to take good care of our bodies! Thanks for keeping me in your prayer your always in mine !Huggs ~CD

 

Good to hear from you CD, and thanks for reaching out.  This journey is long indeed.  It helps me to find patience if I think in terms of total time served feeling like crap on these drugs (16 years), knowing that any time remaining is piddly in comparison.  And fwiw - even if sxs remain, it feels amazing being off.  I know I felt better as I got lower b/c my brain was healing, but I truly think the effects of getting off the drug were profound in and of itself. Basically I feel really good, even when I feel like crap.

 

My main symptom is still ear plugging, which seems like a strange form of Tinnitus, b/c I notice it also comes on when I'm stressed.  I went four days without having it at all, and thought it was gone for good, but nope.  My other 'core' sx was fatigue, but that has been better for the past two weeks.  I can be up and out until bedtime without having to lie down.  Cog fog is lifting also. My GI is mostly healed, and I've been testing it. I can eat almost anything now within reason (I still avoid processed foods, gluten, and nuts b/c allergic).  I was caught off guard by a 5-day wave of chemical anxiety which lifted two days ago.  I have't experienced that awful feeling since March. Not sure if anything in particular triggered it, or just random withdrawal.  My antennae is now up of course, looking for triggers  .

 

Nomo - I know you get the awful adrenaline too. I found exercising 2x/day was helpful, so if I "walked it off" in the AM, I'd feel better during the day, and if I took a bike ride in the evening, that would eliminate or dampen down the 4AM surges. My acupuncturist thinks these chemical anxiety surges are from "qi stagnation", in which case it makes sense that movement provides us relief.  Yoga too.

 

She also commented how my "shen" (spirit) came back, right around when I thought I had the turnaround in April, so at low doses.  I felt it too, "me" coming back at that time, and it just kept getting better as I got lower/off.  I know the journey off is long, scary, and painful, but it is SO WORTH IT. Life without benzos is beautiful, and if you're a long-term user, the difference  is even more profound I think.  I'm so happy for all of us! 

 

Aww, I miss the KK coffee Klatch!  Hope everyone is doing okay.  I think of everyone often, and I'm rooting for all of you. 

 

Big hug,

WR

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[Tr...]]

Hi KK Family, checking in to see how everyone is doing.  We are warrior's!  Hope everyone has a calm and healing day.

 

TRY

[[my...]]

Yes!!! AM coffee Klatch ☕️☕️☕️ 

 

Hi WR, Try, Nomo and CD and all KK buddies!

 

I'm with you, re: how long it takes....as Challis once wrote to me many months ago (not the full text):

 

"You are going through what may be the hardest physical challenge of your life.  It was for me and is for nearly everyone here. The lengthiness of the process is crushing and it's easy to be discouraged.

......You'll get your life back.  You're in an intermission right now..but this is going to pass.

.....This shouldn't have happened to us but it did.  You're one of the strong ones, friend.  Many people stay on these drugs because it is so difficult to come off of them."

 

I printed her message and have kept it to re-read.  I used to read it when I felt desperate...now I read it to remind myself of how far I've come.  As WR wrote, it gets so much better the lower one goes...I am feeling well most of the time these days..at least when I compare things to what they were, say, 6-8 months ago and then to when I began my taper.

 

WR, I have ear sxs too.  Earlier on, I had severe ear pain and Hyperacusis .......the worst of my sxs.  When it finally disappeared I thought it was over, but the ear pressure (that's what I call it...similar, I imagine to 'ears plugged') returns from time to time...like now  when I concentrate on it...or during periods of stress.  I'm confident mine will recede completely as will yours.

 

The KK thread has not been as active these days...so many "old" friends jumping and moving on. But those of us still tapering...we will try to "pop in" and, yes, root for each other.  So important.

 

Mana :smitten:

 

P.S.

Re: exercise....yes, I agree that breaking it up...taking a short walk or just getting out for some fresh air later in the day, even if I've walked or worked out earlier, is helpful.  Extra oxygen in the bloodstream helps clear heads and lighten moods!

[[NY...]]

Hi Mana,

 

Yeah, ear pressure/ear plugging - it will definitely resolve 100% for us both.  I always think of this sx as my body's way of installing a little "CNS alarm", and it will go away when it is no longer needed.  Since it happened last January, it's served as my guide re: what triggered my CNS, what helped to calm it.  Now they plug if I have a chemical reaction (rare), but more often if I'm feeling particularly tense.  This is my sign that I need to slow down, breathe, re-frame.  Not a bad system.

 

And yes, I notice KK is quite slow. Like you say, it's a time of transition for the Koffee Klatch.  I'm sure over time lurkers/newcomers will jump in and help keep it going. 

 

Have a good weekend.

 

Love and big hugs,

WR

 

 

[[ca...]]

Mana, I will pop in from time to time never can forget my buddies and all we have been thru together and still have to go. @ WR, My sinus`s have been really dripping and lots of pressure so could be a lot of us are feeling allergies etc. I just spent  4 hours outside working on the tractor and then cut grass and my throat feels closed but am sure it is the pollen, grass etc. so maybe once this weather cools down things will ease up for us all with the head and ear crap and  yup my Tenitus has been bad so we shall see ! HUGGS ~ CD

[[...]]

Can Do,

 

How are you doing lately?  I've been thinking of you and praying for you.  Please let me and the rest of us know.  ((((Huggs!!!))))

Nomo, I am doing better you know the deal couple good days couple bad and this weather has not been kind has my head plugged up and does make me a bit woozy. Been at this 23 months and it has worn me down as all of us know how much this wears us down. That is why we need to take good care of our bodies! Thanks for keeping me in your prayer your always in mine !Huggs ~CD

 

Good to hear from you CD, and thanks for reaching out.  This journey is long indeed.  It helps me to find patience if I think in terms of total time served feeling like crap on these drugs (16 years), knowing that any time remaining is piddly in comparison.  And fwiw - even if sxs remain, it feels amazing being off.  I know I felt better as I got lower b/c my brain was healing, but I truly think the effects of getting off the drug were profound in and of itself. Basically I feel really good, even when I feel like crap.

 

My main symptom is still ear plugging, which seems like a strange form of Tinnitus, b/c I notice it also comes on when I'm stressed.  I went four days without having it at all, and thought it was gone for good, but nope.  My other 'core' sx was fatigue, but that has been better for the past two weeks.  I can be up and out until bedtime without having to lie down.  Cog fog is lifting also. My GI is mostly healed, and I've been testing it. I can eat almost anything now within reason (I still avoid processed foods, gluten, and nuts b/c allergic).  I was caught off guard by a 5-day wave of chemical anxiety which lifted two days ago.  I have't experienced that awful feeling since March. Not sure if anything in particular triggered it, or just random withdrawal.  My antennae is now up of course, looking for triggers  .

 

Nomo - I know you get the awful adrenaline too. I found exercising 2x/day was helpful, so if I "walked it off" in the AM, I'd feel better during the day, and if I took a bike ride in the evening, that would eliminate or dampen down the 4AM surges. My acupuncturist thinks these chemical anxiety surges are from "qi stagnation", in which case it makes sense that movement provides us relief.  Yoga too.

 

She also commented how my "shen" (spirit) came back, right around when I thought I had the turnaround in April, so at low doses.  I felt it too, "me" coming back at that time, and it just kept getting better as I got lower/off.  I know the journey off is long, scary, and painful, but it is SO WORTH IT. Life without benzos is beautiful, and if you're a long-term user, the difference  is even more profound I think.  I'm so happy for all of us! 

 

Aww, I miss the KK coffee Klatch!  Hope everyone is doing okay.  I think of everyone often, and I'm rooting for all of you. 

 

Big hug,

WR

 

WRGlad to hear even your crap days feel decent!!  Yes, I have been thinking lately that 2 times exercising per day is best.  For a while I was just walking in the morning and doing only 2-3 yoga classes a week.  I thought getting back to every afternoon or evening at yoga would help my clenching muscles, but it has also evened out the anxiety.  I am sure looking forward to being in your shoes after November!!!  Be sure to leave a pair out for me!

 

Today has been really good.  Lighter morning anxiety than ever, even with some stressful life stuff up in the air.  I attribute the good day to a fairly predictable "crap day followed by a good day," cycle, getting lower on my dose (.33 mg!!) and learning how not to walk into mental/emotional holes.  I am learning to walk around them.  If it took this wd process to force me to learn that one thing, then I am thankful.  Fact is, I am learning a LOT of valuable daily skills that are golden.  This is me talking on a not crap day!  Glints of sunlight!!

 

Love all you guys, old friends and new here on KK!!

 

Nomo

[[...]]

Oh, WR, I just read the part about your "shen," or spirit coming back as you got lower on the dose.  (I missed it entirely the first read!)  YES, that is starting to happen to me, and I think long time users like us (((CD)) have been absent from or blunted/diminished in our spirits or shen for so long that the JOY of life for us will be beyond what we could hope or imagine. 

 

:smitten:

[[NY...]]

Oh, WR, I just read the part about your "shen," or spirit coming back as you got lower on the dose.  (I missed it entirely the first read!)  YES, that is starting to happen to me, and I think long time users like us (((CD)) have been absent from or blunted/diminished in our spirits or shen for so long that the JOY of life for us will be beyond what we could hope or imagine. 

 

:smitten:

 

I think this is what PAZ is - the heavy veil of benzos lifting, the angst, anxiety, sadness, confusion, all of it. I think this experience is different for long-timers in so many ways.  But I'm not ready to process or unpack any of that now.  Just focusing on making tomato sauce at the moment  .

 

Keep walking your way to freedom! And HIGH FIVES on .33mg! 

 

Love and hugs,

WR

[[NY...]]

Mana, I will pop in from time to time never can forget my buddies and all we have been thru together and still have to go. @ WR, My sinus`s have been really dripping and lots of pressure so could be a lot of us are feeling allergies etc. I just spent  4 hours outside working on the tractor and then cut grass and my throat feels closed but am sure it is the pollen, grass etc. so maybe once this weather cools down things will ease up for us all with the head and ear crap and  yup my Tenitus has been bad so we shall see ! HUGGS ~ CD

 

Hey PW.  I used to get that throat sx too.  I once thought it was from allergies b/c would come on after I ate certain foods, but it could have been anxiety-related b/c I feared food for most of my taper.  I will never know what caused what when it comes to food.  This symptom is getting better (food fears), but I have a ways to go still. 

 

Say cool  , big hugs.

WR/TG

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[ca...]]

Mana, I will pop in from time to time never can forget my buddies and all we have been thru together and still have to go. @ WR, My sinus`s have been really dripping and lots of pressure so could be a lot of us are feeling allergies etc. I just spent  4 hours outside working on the tractor and then cut grass and my throat feels closed but am sure it is the pollen, grass etc. so maybe once this weather cools down things will ease up for us all with the head and ear crap and  yup my Tenitus has been bad so we shall see ! HUGGS ~ CD

 

Hey PW.  I used to get that throat sx too.  I once thought it was from allergies b/c would come on after I ate certain foods, but it could have been anxiety-related b/c I feared food for most of my taper.  I will never know what caused what when it comes to food.  This symptom is getting better (food fears), but I have a ways to go still. 

 

Say cool  , big hugs.

WR/TG

WR, Ah the throat thing I am not sure what it is but not killed me yet so all is good nothing a cup of coffee won`t take care of lol !@ Nomo , 25 years on Benzo`s I guess when I get off it will be like getting out of prison and be a bit lost with the new Paz bit . Your doing well and for sure we all learn to deal with things so much better while trying or I should say tapering off I so wish I had caught on to this years ago ! Huggs ~CD

[[NY...]]

Mana, I will pop in from time to time never can forget my buddies and all we have been thru together and still have to go. @ WR, My sinus`s have been really dripping and lots of pressure so could be a lot of us are feeling allergies etc. I just spent  4 hours outside working on the tractor and then cut grass and my throat feels closed but am sure it is the pollen, grass etc. so maybe once this weather cools down things will ease up for us all with the head and ear crap and  yup my Tenitus has been bad so we shall see ! HUGGS ~ CD

 

Hey PW.  I used to get that throat sx too.  I once thought it was from allergies b/c would come on after I ate certain foods, but it could have been anxiety-related b/c I feared food for most of my taper.  I will never know what caused what when it comes to food.  This symptom is getting better (food fears), but I have a ways to go still. 

 

Say cool  , big hugs.

WR/TG

WR, Ah the throat thing I am not sure what it is but not killed me yet so all is good nothing a cup of coffee won`t take care of lol !@ Nomo , 25 years on Benzo`s I guess when I get off it will be like getting out of prison and be a bit lost with the new Paz bit . Your doing well and for sure we all learn to deal with things so much better while trying or I should say tapering off I so wish I had caught on to this years ago ! Huggs ~CD

 

LOL, I used to think I was even allergic to my coffee  b/c my ears would plug after I drank it (now I understand why  ) , but I still didn't give it up  .  Cheers~

[[Tr...]]

Hey CD, I read an article the other day about the right side of the brain, and found that allergies are controlled by the side of the brain.  I think your allergy sxs may be heightened due to withdrawal.  This too shall pass, my friend. Paz.

 

WR,good to hear from you.  I'm so encouraged by your progress.  Gives me hope.  I tried some yoga, I may be too old for it.  That bridge pose, was something else.  As I've gotten lower I feel change just can't put my finger on the source of what exactly has changed.  Keep us posted on your progress!  Wishing You Continued Healing!

 

Nomo...Congrats on .33!!!!  You'll be done before you know it!!

 

My Mana, hope all is well my friend?

 

Stay Strong Warrior's, we are so far from where we started!!!

 

TRY

 

 

[[...]]

CD, 25 years?!  THAT means you will be floating on a cloud of JOY and PAZ bigger and better than practically ANYone!!!  :thumbsup: 

 

WR, why do you think your ears plugged after coffee?  I've been having half caff each day.  With milk AND sugar. (no allergies or sensitivities that I know of, and it comforts me a tiny bit, which seems worth it.)  You think the caffeine stressed you a tiny bit, or did I miss something again? 

[[ca...]]

Nomo, yep 25 years don`t remind me ( cry ) coffee ah it`s nothing compared to some of the s/x`s I have had heck I am having a cup as I type just getting a few head rushes! FWIW if you have always drank it I don`t think it will bother you it might even help the cog fog  ,I just ease up a bit if I need to be some place so I don`t get anymore revved up then I already am and I take my black lol ! @ Try , I did my yoga was laying in the dirt on my back for 4 hours working on the tractor I bet I feel it tomorrow but all is good ! Very grateful for all on here great people pulling together to help each other ! We are very lucky

[[Tr...]]

CD, 25 years!!!  You are kicking benzo a**!!!!  Your "yoga" is far beyond my abilities.  I'm great at just laying there.  I love the smell of coffee, never been a big coffee drinker. 

 

The support of everyone on this thread means so much.  We laugh together, cry together, lift each other up when we feel we can't go on.  Every jump is a tribute to us believing in each other!  Keep moving forward one step at a time.

 

TRY

[[NY...]]

 

Every jump is a tribute to us believing in each other!

 

 

  :smitten:

 

WR,good to hear from you.  I'm so encouraged by your progress.  Gives me hope.  I tried some yoga, I may be too old for it.  That bridge pose, was something else.  As I've gotten lower I feel change just can't put my finger on the source of what exactly has changed.  Keep us posted on your progress!  Wishing You Continued Healing!

 

Thanks, Try.  Glad to hear you're feeling positive changes.  It will just keep getting better and better!  I've got my party hats and kazoos out for your jumping party! 

 

 

WR, why do you think your ears plugged after coffee?  I've been having half caff each day.  With milk AND sugar. (no allergies or sensitivities that I know of, and it comforts me a tiny bit, which seems worth it.)  You think the caffeine stressed you a tiny bit, or did I miss something again?

 

Yep, just an increase in anxiety sometimes.  Never enough to stop drinking it though.

 

Have a good weekend KKlubbers. BIG LOVE to you all!

 

WR

 

 

 

 

[[Be...]]

Woo hoo, WR!

 

Damn that chemical anxiety. Weird how it comes no rhyme or reason, huh? Glad to know you're eating just about everything. I was thinking about you making tomato sauce, while I was making muffins.

 

I'm sticking to a diet they works but little things have crept back in and I am tolerating them. Like garlic. Garlic! Did some cooking but am basically in coast mode today.

 

All—Love hearing how KKers are coming back to themselves as K is loosing it's grip in the body. The change you feel now is a taste of the future.

 

Bennie