Listen to me- We are ALL going to make it.

[[Co...]]

It is good to come back here and read this. I woke up today so sick and tired of all of this. I did not sleep well and there was a pile of snow outside and I did not feel like I could go outside and tackle it. I have a friend from the east coast visiting and I do not feel social. I am not sick sick and am grateful for that but I am really fatigued. I sigh and know this will be over at some point but I miss the freedom of feeling really good. Just one of those days. Thinking too much. Looking for better days and happy endings.

[[Er...]]

Thank you Parker,

 

  Your words are amazing but what you say is absolutely true.  Everyone heals.......period.  It is just the timeframe that is not known.  As bad as it is everyone must hand in there and try to live as normal as a life as you can.  Please....please....please try not to focus on your symptoms.  It will make things much harder.  Just know that there is an end. 

[[Wo...]]

Great Thread 

 

Keep it going as its full of hope, and we need all we can get to help bring us back from the pits of hell...

 

Woofs

[[be...]]

Thank you Parker. He is right, you will heal. I took xanax for 13 yrs. had a hellacious wd from it and thought everyday I was going to die(9 yrs. ago) after a year I turned the corner and could feel a lot of healing taking place, every month after that I got better and better. It takes time and more time but it does happen so gradually that you can't feel the symptoms ease up for many months.  By year 2 I was getting my life back.  thing were going so good that I went back to work and life was enjoyable again. Then four yrs. later lost my sister to breast cancer and two months later my mom passed. I swore after xanax wd I would never touch another benzo, but I did. I went to my doc and asked him for an antidepressant to help me deal with the depression after my loss.  He not only gave me an ad but also ativan, and told me not to take it everyday and I won't have wd. I took 50 in a three yr. period and here I am.The second time around is sooooo much worst. I hace soooooooooo much hate in me for docs, they know nothing about benzo wd. I know I will heal, but it sure is rough and I still need love and support.I am so grateful I found you guys. Love and healing to all of you, it will happen, it takes time and more time.

[[sp...]]

Hey Parker

 

Doesn't it kill you that we have the advantage of having you to help us?

 

Third time round this post has lost none of its power

 

Thank you for repeatedly, unknowingly, saving my sanity.

 

With love from spartacus x

[[be...]]

ps, my worst symptoms are muscles muscles muscles and stiffness.

[[Pu...]]

Thank you Parker. You have no idea how this helped me. This is my first night on here and I'm so discouraged. 2 months Benzo free and doing terribly. Horrible insomnia anxiety and fear. I seem as sick now as during my taper. I'm broken hearted.

[[Sk...]]

Hey Parker

 

Doesn't it kill you that we have the advantage of having you to help us?

 

Third time round this post has lost none of its power

 

Thank you for repeatedly, unknowingly, saving my sanity.

 

With love from spartacus x

 

Beautifully put  ! Thanks,Parker so much. your posts have really  helped me  and this one is no exception.

[[pr...]]

Thank you Parker. He is right, you will heal. I took xanax for 13 yrs. had a hellacious wd from it and thought everyday I was going to die(9 yrs. ago) after a year I turned the corner and could feel a lot of healing taking place, every month after that I got better and better. It takes time and more time but it does happen so gradually that you can't feel the symptoms ease up for many months.  By year 2 I was getting my life back.  thing were going so good that I went back to work and life was enjoyable again. Then four yrs. later lost my sister to breast cancer and two months later my mom passed. I swore after xanax wd I would never touch another benzo, but I did. I went to my doc and asked him for an antidepressant to help me deal with the depression after my loss.  He not only gave me an ad but also ativan, and told me not to take it everyday and I won't have wd. I took 50 in a three yr. period and here I am.The second time around is sooooo much worst. I hace soooooooooo much hate in me for docs, they know nothing about benzo wd. I know I will heal, but it sure is rough and I still need love and support.I am so grateful I found you guys. Love and healing to all of you, it will happen, it takes time and more time.

 

beulah,

 

i had been off benzo's for 7 years after being on large dose's with many c/t's. and then went back on them after being diagnosed with MS and even though the doctor knew i had been benzo free he still prescribed them to me saying to take them onlly as directed. it cost me another ten years. i couldn't get off them again and tried every single January/another c/t. kindling now.

but still healing

 

prettydaisys

[[be...]]

prettydaisy, exactly what is kindling? I have seen it posted before.I don't have windows ,is that what they call kindling?

I know you are having it rough of everything you have been through.... but you have to keep in mind we are going to heal from this crap. I get so sick of waking up everyday to this pain and wd.... it can really ware you down.

[[Wo...]]

prettydaisy, exactly what is kindling? I have seen it posted before.I don't have windows ,is that what they call kindling?

I know you are having it rough of everything you have been through.... but you have to keep in mind we are going to heal from this crap. I get so sick of waking up everyday to this pain and wd.... it can really ware you down.

 

Hey Beulah

 

Did you heal within those first 6 years you where off?, if so how long did it take to reach 100%? why did you go back on?

 

Hope you don't mind me asking, I just can fathom every going through this a second time...

 

Kind Wishes

 

Woofs

[[be...]]

woofs,

Oh my gosh yes, I had a lot of healing at one yr. off, and by the end of my second yr. I was out living my life again.

Sure I had some protracted symptoms popping up here and there but nothing as severe as to what I had been thru the first year. I went back to work and everything!

The reason I went back on them was because my mom and my sister died. I went to my doc and asked him for an antidepressant to help me through that tough period... short term. He also gave me ativan without me asking him for it. He said if I don't take it everyday I won't have wd from it, I only took 50 in a three yr. period and here I am in wd again...errrrrrrrr. They say you can never take another benzo after wd except for surgery or you will go into wd again, I did not know that then, till I read the Ashton Manual.I was soooooo stupid!I am healing I just wish I had windows.

[[Wo...]]

woofs,

Oh my gosh yes, I had a lot of healing at one yr. off, and by the end of my second yr. I was out living my life again.

Sure I had some protracted symptoms popping up here and there but nothing as severe as to what I had been thru the first year. I went back to work and everything!

The reason I went back on them was because my mom and my sister died. I went to my doc and asked him for an antidepressant to help me through that tough period... short term. He also gave me ativan without me asking him for it. He said if I don't take it everyday I won't have wd from it, I only took 50 in a three yr. period and here I am in wd again...errrrrrrrr. They say you can never take another benzo after wd except for surgery or you will go into wd again, I did not know that then, till I read the Ashton Manual.I was soooooo stupid!I am healing I just wish I had windows.

 

Aah Beulah, bless you, im so sorry to hear that, my sincerest condolences.

 

Knowing what you went through the first time taking 2 years did it not scare you to take one, knowing what I know now having gone through this hell, I will never ever take one again, I would rather die than go through this ever again.

 

I'm so sorry that you have had to go through hell twice, at least you know you did heal before so I hope in a way that gives you some hope and assurance that you will heal again, I have never had a window and today im 5 days in to 14 months off.

 

I cant believe a drug I stopped 14 months ago can still be doing this, suppose that's why no one any longer believes me!!!

 

I hope this all ends soon for us all.

 

Sincere and kind wishes

 

Woofs

 

 

[[be...]]

I believe benzos can do just about anything,they are soooo bad they should not be on this planet.

[[pr...]]

prettydaisy, exactly what is kindling? I have seen it posted before.I don't have windows ,is that what they call kindling?

I know you are having it rough of everything you have been through.... but you have to keep in mind we are going to heal from this crap. I get so sick of waking up everyday to this pain and wd.... it can really ware you down.

 

kindling is a neurological condition that happens with repeated withdrawals from benzo's, tranquillisers, psychotropic drugs. it's like with each withdrawal the symptoms get worse and i can definitely vouch for that. i never in my life thought i would be having these brain/head symptoms and for so long too. it's the worst one for sure. but i had been doing many c/t's my whole life. even though i had that 7 years being benzo free.--the first time i was polydrugged and on large amounts of both benzo's and opiates and i had a seizure. somehow i got off everything for 7 yrs that had either some kind of setback from benzo's or i really do have MS as i was diagnosed with that in my 7th year off the benzo's.

 

so the doctor put me back on klonopin even though he knew of my history. and i just got off them 20 months ago. i feel horrible about my situation because i could have had all this time healing from the first time. it truly sucks!

 

but even though i'm kindling--i am healing and i've also been having some partial windows. i just had two the last two days and now back in a revved up wave. but the windows are happening and i'm 20 months out and 16 months away from my last 'rescue' benzo dose. so, don't worry, you will have window.

[[...]]

Thanks parker, this post has been so helpful, i keep rereading it.

[[...]]

Bump

 

[[He...]]

Such an important post to read! Thank you, Parker, for your encouragement. 

[[pe...]]

Parker,

I love your love.

 

Deep breathing my way through hard days of healing,

Peace2

[[Ha...]]

Great post Parker Thank you!!!

 

Keep on pluggin!!!!------

[[ba...]]

thanks!! i need that!!

[[Te...]]

Thanks, Parker! I really needed to read that.

[[Fr...]]

Thank you for being so caring and for encouraging us all.  How are you doing lately?

[[Ki...]]

Bump

 

[[or...]]

A definite bump. We all need to read this every so often. And believe it.

 

Okatz