My Journey

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Dear Debbie, Duckie, Claudia, PG, Flip willdoit, Dolphins, thank you for your birthday wishes, it means a lot to me.  I had a great day yesterday, plenty of laughs.

 

I am thankful I can laugh again, I remember my face would ache with the fake smile in withdrawal.  What an amazing feeling, to just laugh out loud….these are things we take for granted.  I knew the moment that happened for me, I was going to fully heal!

 

It’s definitely like being given a second chance at life...but seeing everything different this time around. Priorities’ change, I know what’s important today.  What used to screw me up doesn't even touch me, what people think of me doesn’t matter like it did before.  This journey makes you a little tougher that's for sure, not in a bad way.

 

Simple things bring me joy, a walk in the park...a park I have known many years, yet it was new to me in recovery.  It looked stunningly beautiful!!.  I will never forget that feeling, the first day seeing things with new eyes.

 

Life after withdrawal is good, it definitely makes you feel gratitude for things that you used to take for granted.  Anyway, you will see it for yourself when you get there.

 

Don’t give up no matter how hard it gets

 

Magrita http://i1193.photobucket.com/albums/aa351/margarita1959/Smilies/raining-love-smiley-emoticon.gif

 

Oh Magrita

 

You are so right in everything that you have just said

 

I know that since what I went through it certainly as made me one tough old bird

 

Now I can  and  :'( where before I just felt numb. Because I can not think of another word to describe how I felt at that time.

 

One day at a time is my motto

And never ever give up. Never

 

Duckie :smitten:

[Guest [wi...]]

So pleased you had a lovely birthday.  Your post was beautiful Magrita.  Thank you for continuing to inspire and encourage others.  Xoxo wdi

[[li...]]

Hi Magrita

 

I just came on here and read your post. What a fantastic message and it really was inspiring!

So pleased you had a good Birthday and thank you so much for everything that you do for us all!

 

Love from Lib xx 

 

[[bc...]]

Hi Magritas.  I read your success story and it is so inspiring.  I needed that today because I am going through some major depression and anxiety along with fear.....fear that I will never get better.  It is such an awful feeling and so hard to pull yourself up out of the horrible place.  My husband keeps telling me to be positive and that even though I am feeling like this, I will heal.  I just run out of patience and get discouraged.  I know we shouldn't look back, but its hard not to, because I get frustrated with the fact that this could have been prevented if the drs would have clued in to my symptoms right from the beginning.  You put trust in them and especially when you ask them if it is the drug that's doing this and the answer is always NO, you think that they know best.  So.....I  really feel let down by the medical profession. 

 

So now....it is one foot in front of the other.....baby steps....to get back to who I was before this horrible ordeal.

 

Thank you for all your encouragement.  I am glad to be part of BB as I now see that there are so many of us struggling to get our lifes back.

 

Hugs!!

[[Wa...]]

Hi Magrita, thanks for moving my post to the right area. I just read your story. so much like mine and so many of us. dam drugs and the docs too. well my window was pretty short. today I felt worse then ever with pain and terrible anxiety. I'm feeling better now laying in bed but wow I realized that my window is not a lasting thing. I really do thank god for this site and people like yourself that have given us newbies hope....and because I have read so many stories of recovered people reassuring us that we will get better.almost all new pain today along with the old ones. my legs felt so tight today I could hardly walk..,.thanks for reading, I try to tell myself that a new withdrawal symptom is just another sign of getting better

xo

[[ma...]]

Thank you DD, Willdoit and Liberty,  it’s always nice to have visitors, thanks for the kind words it means a lot http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/smileys-and-emoticons/kisses/smileys-kisses-878362.gif

Mags

 

[[ma...]]

Hi Magritas.  I read your success story and it is so inspiring.  I needed that today because I am going through some major depression and anxiety along with fear.....fear that I will never get better.  It is such an awful feeling and so hard to pull yourself up out of the horrible place.  My husband keeps telling me to be positive and that even though I am feeling like this, I will heal.  I just run out of patience and get discouraged.  I know we shouldn't look back, but its hard not to, because I get frustrated with the fact that this could have been prevented if the drs would have clued in to my symptoms right from the beginning.  You put trust in them and especially when you ask them if it is the drug that's doing this and the answer is always NO, you think that they know best.  So.....I  really feel let down by the medical profession. 

 

So now....it is one foot in front of the other.....baby steps....to get back to who I was before this horrible ordeal.

 

Thank you for all your encouragement.  I am glad to be part of BB as I now see that there are so many of us struggling to get our lifes back.

 

Hugs!!

 

Hi bcalm2

 

I am pleased you got something from my story,  the depression is dreadful.  You have to keep reminding yourself it’s not you and that it’s temporary.    It is  hard  trying to think positive when you’re in the thick of it, but  I promise you it will get better. 

 

Try not to look back, I had to let go of anger, it stopped me from moving forward.  What's done is done, your going to get through this.  As you say, just put one foot in front of the other until it changes.

 

BB is a wonderful site, Its full of heroes!!

 

 

Magrita http://www.picgifs.com/mini-graphics/mini-graphics/butterflies/mini-graphics-butterflies-247201.gif

 

 

[[ma...]]

Hi Magrita, thanks for moving my post to the right area. I just read your story. so much like mine and so many of us. dam drugs and the docs too. well my window was pretty short. today I felt worse then ever with pain and terrible anxiety. I'm feeling better now laying in bed but wow I realized that my window is not a lasting thing. I really do thank god for this site and people like yourself that have given us newbies hope....and because I have read so many stories of recovered people reassuring us that we will get better.almost all new pain today along with the old ones. my legs felt so tight today I could hardly walk..,.thanks for reading, I try to tell myself that a new withdrawal symptom is just another sign of getting better

xo

 

Hello Waitingforchange1

 

You are very welcome, I am sorry your window was short lived, you will get another.  One day your window will stay open forever.  Don’t worry about getting new symptoms, it is a sign.  Some of my symptoms would disappear and then be replaced with new ones. 

 

Whatever happens, on this journey, keep telling yourself it is temporary,  try not to focus too much on symptoms…if you can!!  I do understand its hard to do that...but the more you try the more it becomes automatic.

 

Life is going to be okay given a bit more time..remember that!!

 

Mags  http://www.picgifs.com/mini-graphics/mini-graphics/hearts/mini-graphics-hearts-683379.gif

 

 

 

[[Wa...]]

thank you! it really is a blessing to meet people on this site like yourself! wow so many of us have the same problems and then again we also have the same hope and the same journey to wellness!

[[Mo...]]

Happy New Year Mags....may 2016 be a good one for you

and your Family. 

[[ma...]]

Happy New Year Mags....may 2016 be a good one for you

and your Family. 

 

Thank you Claudia, I am wishing a better year for you and for your family, 2016 could be your year,

 

http://www.picgifs.com/glitter-gifs/n/new-year/picgifs-new-year-1764215.gif

 

 

Mags

 

 

[[Mo...]]

Happy New Year Mags....may 2016 be a good one for you

and your Family. 

 

Thank you Claudia, I am wishing a better year for you and for your family, 2016 could be your year,

 

http://www.picgifs.com/glitter-gifs/n/new-year/picgifs-new-year-1764215.gif

 

 

Mags

 

Thank you Mags..... hope you are right.

Love the colours of this pic....

[[Mo...]]

Great success story.....time for a bump I think.

[[no...]]

Great success story.....time for a bump I think.

 

 

Hi Claudia I love you wonderful  lady I also agree with the 'bump''  Bless your heart getting these success stories were we can see them otherwise they maybe over looked by the very people that need to see them

 

Love Nova xxx :smitten:

[[Mo...]]

Great success story.....time for a bump I think.

 

 

Hi Claudia I love you wonderful  lady I also agree with the 'bump''  Bless your heart getting these success stories were we can see them otherwise they maybe over looked by the very people that need to see them

 

Love Nova xxx :smitten:

 

Aww nova ......thank you Darling....I love you too, always enjoy

reading your posts ...good info....hate to see you suffer.

 

[[...]]

Thanks for bumping this, I have read many times before and needed to read again. I'm coming up for 22 months and it's still really tough. I sometimes wonder if I'm not letting myself heal as I can't stop worrying abut not healing and that I'm stuck. Sorry, just a bad day in a run of many lately.

[[ma...]]

Thanks for bumping this, I have read many times before and needed to read again. I'm coming up for 22 months and it's still really tough. I sometimes wonder if I'm not letting myself heal as I can't stop worrying abut not healing and that I'm stuck. Sorry, just a bad day in a run of many lately.

 

You are healing all the time Marj, albeit very slowly, but you will get there and I promise you it's worth the wait. Its so easy to lose hope at this stage, try to be patient, keep getting up and putting one foot in front of the other, life will get better.

 

Hang in there

 

Magrita http://www.picgifs.com/mini-graphics/mini-graphics/hearts/mini-graphics-hearts-683379.gif

[[be...]]

Magrita, read your story, and so glad you shared, as I look down the road to Recovery, I can see the light that is flickering for all of us on this

 

Journey from Benzo's and their  things it does to us, but I am fighting them all the way, I'll be dam if I give in to their words that say "You

 

need me, You can't do without me", bull, yes I can and I will. So my light is closer, and for all the BB new here and those brave souls still struggling

 

I am Positive that there will be a day when we are healed. Because we are all Snowflakes, everyone has a different time. Bless you Magrita, and

 

I am glad that you are enjoying your life, there is still a lot of life in this old, young bird.

[[ma...]]

Magrita, read your story, and so glad you shared, as I look down the road to Recovery, I can see the light that is flickering for all of us on this

 

Journey from Benzo's and their  things it does to us, but I am fighting them all the way, I'll be dam if I give in to their words that say "You

 

need me, You can't do without me", bull, yes I can and I will. So my light is closer, and for all the BB new here and those brave souls still struggling

 

I am Positive that there will be a day when we are healed. Because we are all Snowflakes, everyone has a different time. Bless you Magrita, and

 

I am glad that you are enjoying your life, there is still a lot of life in this old, young bird.

 

Love your attitude begood!!  that's the spirit girl. Yes you can live without this drug, its very cunning and will try and win you over but you are much tougher, keep moving forward, life will get better.

 

You are so right, plenty of life in you yet girl and your not going to miss a thing.  For me it was like seeing things with new eyes.

 

My local park looked different to me, I remember commenting on the stunning vibrant. green grass.  My husband remarked that it always been that shade, I said  "not to me".  My eyes had been affected but I didn't realise it, and it was like a veil had been lifted.

 

 

Magrita http://www.picgifs.com/mini-graphics/mini-graphics/butterflies/mini-graphics-butterflies-247201.gif

[[Mo...]]

Thanks for bumping this, I have read many times before and needed to read again. I'm coming up for 22 months and it's still really tough. I sometimes wonder if I'm not letting myself heal as I can't stop worrying abut not healing and that I'm stuck. Sorry, just a bad day in a run of many lately.

 

Hi marj, stay strong please...its a tough journey I know....I think its very

normal to worry about healing .......believe me you are.

[[...]]

Thank you Magrita and Morreweg for you encouragement,

 

I'm struggling at the moment, lots of negativity that is making me feel low. I've managed to stay working but am finding it hard to pretend I'm ok. Never thought I would feel like this at 22 months. Sorry to moan on this thread, I'm just tired.

[[ma...]]

Thank you Magrita and Morreweg for you encouragement,

 

I'm struggling at the moment, lots of negativity that is making me feel low. I've managed to stay working but am finding it hard to pretend I'm ok. Never thought I would feel like this at 22 months. Sorry to moan on this thread, I'm just tired.

 

Moan away girl, we are rooting for you. Well done for working through it, shows how tough you are.  Just you keep reminding yourself "its temporary", life wont always be this way.

[[Mo...]]

Bump.

[[...]]

Thanks for bumping this, I have read many times before and needed to read again. I'm coming up for 22 months and it's still really tough. I sometimes wonder if I'm not letting myself heal as I can't stop worrying abut not healing and that I'm stuck. Sorry, just a bad day in a run of many lately.

 

You are healing all the time Marj, albeit very slowly, but you will get there and I promise you it's worth the wait. Its so easy to lose hope at this stage, try to be patient, keep getting up and putting one foot in front of the other, life will get better.

 

Hang in there

 

Magrita http://www.picgifs.com/mini-graphics/mini-graphics/hearts/mini-graphics-hearts-683379.gif

 

 

Glad I read this again today, it's still so tough. Got to keep believing 

 

Edit: Mixed Quote

 

 

[[Po...]]

Such a wonderful success story.  I agree, it needs to be where all can see it.

 

Hoping I get there.  Six months off a c/t and suffering.