Tapering off Ativan Support Thread

[[Lu...]]

Why I stay up so late is to keep the time between dosages reasonable.  My bedtime dose is at 1130 because my morning dose is at 7am.  At 7am, I’m really feeling the interdose wd.  Can you see a better way for me to do it?  My current dosing is at 7am, 1230pm, 530pm and 1130 pm

[[Bi...]]

Bibsjo. Friday Feb 5th I just quit.

 

I was at 0.190 mg Xanax and I just could not figure out how to cut it in half any further on my micro-scale. What I saw was dusts of crumbs anyway.

 

My journey from 1.0 mg to ZERO was 8 mo., 1 wk. and 1 day. and my journey from 4.0mg of Ativan was 1yr, 7 wks, 4 days. TWO Benzos out of my Life! Forever!

 

First night of sleep, not very good. What did I expect? Then nights - 2-4 - FAB, WTF!! I could not believe it. I took Ativan and Xanax both for sleep, so this was a big deal for me. Then 2 nights bad (one was all job stress) and last night really good.

 

On the night I quit, I told my psy that I wanted to reduce my Lamotrigine (he had me on this too slow taper) because I had previously convinced him that my Lamotrigine and Depakote had an almost equal mechanism of action. He said, "You are doing so well, we must stand down until you are off the Xanax." So, I just quit. I am lucky to have a job that gives us off both Lincoln's and President's Day so 4 -day weekend here I come.

 

I shall pray for everyone here and those who may by the grace of God find their way here. Benzobuddies saved my life. Nobody would help me. Nobody. Psys know how to put you on, but completely useless to get you off. Good evening. Powerball.

 

Powerball,

 

Congratulations on this HUGE milestone. I'm so happy for you. I am right behind you.

 

~ Bibs jo

[[Bi...]]

Hi Everyone,

 

I have not been online as much lately but wanted to say hi to all the newer people on here, and to those that I have been traveling this road with over time.

 

I'm getting so close to the end of my taper and I am exhausted.

 

I am at .0125 and plan on walking off at 0.01. That could actually happen this week! I have been tapering since 12/2018, so this has been a very long and difficult journey.

 

I've had a lot of severe wd symptoms, and I think I am exhausted because of the sheer mental energy this has taken to keep myself positive so that I could move forward. And the covid lockdown (extreme restrictions in the San Francisco Bay Area) has made this last year so much more difficult. Now that I see the end coming, I think I have allowed myself to just feel exhausted. I had an internal cheerleader inside me that kept me going. Now that I am here, I am letting myself down and feeling the exhaustion.

 

Now that I am nearing the end, I am starting to access emotions that I had medicated away and closed off. It has been emotionally intense, but having access to this missing part of me feels good. It's been hard, but it feels good to feel the negative emotions. It just feels good to feel.

 

I am still dealing with insomnia and tinnitus. I was waking up in the middle of the night with my ears ringing loud. The tinnitus does come and go, and the quality of the sound has changed so that it is not so distressing. I have missed quite a few days of work, and am having trouble concentrating in the afternoons. I believe this is due to the sleep deprivation.

 

I hope that everyone here is getting the help and support that they need from each other.

 

~Bibs jo

 

 

[[An...]]

Lunkhead, I experienced exactly what you're going through. I'm pretty sure it's called a myoclonic jerk, it happens just as we crossover into sleep. I would jerk like I'd been electrified. It was a kind of hideous torture. I just celebrated 6 months since I jumped and that symptom is long gone. I took doxylamine for sleep, now it's just once in while I have to take it. This does end in time and we DO heal. I'm having times when I'm  95% symptom free. I'm getting back to normal....this journey coming off the Ativan started for me in October of 2019. I found BB too late to help with the taper but this site was huge help with post with drawal sxs. Best of luck too you Lunk! Hang in there, this too shall pass.

[[Bi...]]

Hi Everyone,

 

Well after twelve long years on benzos, and then two years and two long months of slowly tapering off, I took my LAST dose tonight! I am walking off. Tomorrow I will finally be completely benzo free - Halleluja.

 

This has been a long, exhausting, difficult, and sometimes astonishingly brutal journey. But I am so happy that I am awake, alive and alert, and soooo present. I was fortunate to have a supportive husband, doctor, and so many friends in my Celebrate Recovery ministry praying me through this.

 

I know I still have a ways to go before I am completely recovered. I am still struggling with insomnia and tinnitus, but I feel like I have turned a corner, and I know that I will completely recover.

 

I waited and waited and waited for God.

    At last he looked; finally he listened.

He lifted me out of the ditch,

    pulled me from deep mud.

He stood me up on a solid rock

    to make sure I wouldn’t slip.

He taught me how to sing the latest God-song,

    a praise-song to our God.

More and more people are seeing this:

    they enter the mystery,

    abandoning themselves to God.

 

Psalm 40 1-3 msg

 

I will continue to pray for complete recovery for all of us here.

~ Bibsjo

[[Gi...]]

Bibsjo,

Congratulations!😊🎉  It's a long arduous journey to make, but you persevered and have reached the end.  Now the final journey of complete healing has begun.  You tapered so low.  I wish you an easy road ahead.  Ginger

[Guest [...]]

Congrats Bibsjo!!!

 

You have done an amazing job of listening to your body and striving forward.

 

I hope that your jump will bring you continued success.

 

Best wishes for a bright future.

 

WinnieDog

 

[[...]]

Congrats Bibsjo.  I know this has been a long and difficult journey for you.  The healing will continue! 

 

 

Hi Everyone,

 

Well after twelve long years on benzos, and then two years and two long months of slowly tapering off, I took my LAST dose tonight! I am walking off. Tomorrow I will finally be completely benzo free - Halleluja.

 

This has been a long, exhausting, difficult, and sometimes astonishingly brutal journey. But I am so happy that I am awake, alive and alert, and soooo present. I was fortunate to have a supportive husband, doctor, and so many friends in my Celebrate Recovery ministry praying me through this.

 

I know I still have a ways to go before I am completely recovered. I am still struggling with insomnia and tinnitus, but I feel like I have turned a corner, and I know that I will completely recover.

 

I waited and waited and waited for God.

    At last he looked; finally he listened.

He lifted me out of the ditch,

    pulled me from deep mud.

He stood me up on a solid rock

    to make sure I wouldn’t slip.

He taught me how to sing the latest God-song,

    a praise-song to our God.

More and more people are seeing this:

    they enter the mystery,

    abandoning themselves to God.

 

Psalm 40 1-3 msg

 

I will continue to pray for complete recovery for all of us here.

~ Bibsjo

[[Di...]]

Bibsjo so happy for you!!!  Congratulations   You give me hope! 

[Guest [ba...]]

Congratulations Bibsjo!  Welcome to the other side!

[[2c...]]

Congratulations, bibsjo

 

I am fairly new here but I have been following the last couple of months of your taper.  It’s encouraging to see how you’ve persevered especially to those of us who are going really slow.

 

Great job 

[[Ha...]]

Bibsjo,

 

I am so happy for you that you have completed your taper and walked off.  I've been walking this journey beside you for a while now, and you have always been so kind and supportive.  Wishing you ease and open windows from now on. 

 

Haimona

[[Bi...]]

Thank you everyone for your words of encouragement!

 

I feel like I am running three part marathon. The first being the years I spent medicated. The second the years I spent tapering. I'm on to the 3rd - the final recovery.

 

~ Bibs Jo

[[An...]]

Congrats Bibjoe! This journey is a crazy one! I'm so glad to hear you have a support group! I'm a member of AA and I cant imagine having to do this without a group of people to draw wisdom, fellowship, and help from. It makes all the difference. I was so relieved, scared too, but relieved when I jumped. I hated to put that poison in my body when I fully knew how much pain it had caused me. Benzo Free!

[[Lu...]]

started my taper of Ativan yesterday.  Taking 1.5 mg across 4 doses.  I cut .008mg (.5%) yesterday.  Had one dose today where i cut .002mg.  I am feeling a spike in anxiety.  What does this mean???  I just started and the cuts were very small.  Really concerned now.

[[...]]

Hey Lunkhead.  This is perfectly normal.  At least it was for me.  I would cut, feel the pain of anxiety, panic and even depression for 4-7 days and then begin to stabilize.  After a while I learned to accept this was going to happen and just rode the waves.  I am not going to lie.  It was very difficult.  Just know this is the healing process.  Find a way to distract yourself as best you can.  I also learned that I have to stay postive - even repeat: I am healing, I am healing, I am healing.  There were also times when I wanted to updose - on the advice of everyone on here I stayed the course.  Go slow, cut small.

 

Today almost 2 1/2 months out I am in a wave today but there have been some really great windows.  You will get there.

[[Go...]]

Hi everyone...I too am tapering from 36 years of Ativan. I have used the name brand for all of these years. Started tapering a year ago by filing and weighing a teeny tiny pill. Started at .5 at night for sleep. Currently at .25. I use Medical Marijuana at night. I have minimal withdrawal up to this point. Trying to plan out the next part of the taper. Doing this all on my own...dr does not know. He has been my only prescriber.  Has anyone else had success dry tapering all the way down? Nice to meet everyone.

[[...]]

Hey Going places.  Welcome.  I used liquid tapering 4x a day over a 2 month period.  I really pressed myself to get off the drug as quickly as I could stand.  I struggled all the way down.  Wishing I had gone slower now.  Many symptoms at the end of month 3.

 

Did you come up with a plan?

[[Ho...]]

Hey guys! Been a minute since I’ve been here.

 

Hi friends!

 

Background - cold turkeyed Celexa after adverse reaction to dose increase July 29,2020.

Was taking Ativan randomly for SSRI withdrawal until September 11, 2020 I got on a schedule.

 

Ativan .125mg 3 times a day.

 

I’ll spare you more details but I stabilized there and am now down to .2mg/day - .067mg 3 times a day.

 

I got a liquid compound last Thursday and switched out my middle dose for 3 days, then my first dose for 2 days. By the 5th day, my anxiety and insomnia were outrageous and I couldn’t blame the transition anymore.

 

I talked to a fellow benzo buddy who asked about the manufacturer of the med which I hadn’t thought about.

 

Well, it was a different manufacturer. I switched back to pills.

 

I’m on day 3 1/2 of being on just pills. Day 1 back on just pills I was feeling a little better like I was going to stabilize.

 

Last night and today, insomnia, insane chemical anxiety/heart racing,  brain burning/headache, extreme fatigue.

 

I have a new prescription of liquid with the correct manufacturer.

 

My question is - should I hold at .2mg/day on pill until I stabilize again then transition to the new liquid? Will I stabilize? Getting scared.

 

FYI - I have been at .2mg since January 11th, 2020.

The process of cutting was delayed due to trying to stabilize and the bad transition to liquid.

 

Any advice would be welcome here, please!

It’s hard when you feel like you’re stable then bam, unstable and feeling terrible!

[[Ho...]]

Hey guys! Been a minute since I’ve been here.

 

Hi friends!

 

Background - cold turkeyed Celexa after adverse reaction to dose increase July 29,2020.

Was taking Ativan randomly for SSRI withdrawal until September 11, 2020 I got on a schedule.

 

Ativan .125mg 3 times a day.

 

I’ll spare you more details but I stabilized there and am now down to .2mg/day - .067mg 3 times a day.

 

I got a liquid compound last Thursday and switched out my middle dose for 3 days, then my first dose for 2 days. By the 5th day, my anxiety and insomnia were outrageous and I couldn’t blame the transition anymore.

 

I talked to a fellow benzo buddy who asked about the manufacturer of the med which I hadn’t thought about.

 

Well, it was a different manufacturer. I switched back to pills.

 

I’m on day 3 1/2 of being on just pills. Day 1 back on just pills I was feeling a little better like I was going to stabilize.

 

Last night and today, insomnia, insane chemical anxiety/heart racing,  brain burning/headache, extreme fatigue.

 

I have a new prescription of liquid with the correct manufacturer.

 

My question is - should I hold at .2mg/day on pill until I stabilize again then transition to the new liquid? Will I stabilize? Getting scared.

 

FYI - I have been at .2mg since January 11th, 2020.

The process of cutting was delayed due to trying to stabilize and the bad transition to liquid.

 

Any advice would be welcome here, please!

It’s hard when you feel like you’re stable then bam, unstable and feeling terrible!

 

 

Also, please note - insomnia hasn’t been here in a long time. It just started with the liquid. Also, with the liquid - it felt more activating when I took the dose. The pill kind of feels that way now too which it didn’t before. Assuming this is just the wave? Do you think the liquid just unstabilized me and I need to stay at .2mg on the pills, stabilize, then do the transition to the new liquid compound?

[Guest [ba...]]

Hey guys! Been a minute since I’ve been here.

 

Hi friends!

 

Background - cold turkeyed Celexa after adverse reaction to dose increase July 29,2020.

Was taking Ativan randomly for SSRI withdrawal until September 11, 2020 I got on a schedule.

 

Ativan .125mg 3 times a day.

 

I’ll spare you more details but I stabilized there and am now down to .2mg/day - .067mg 3 times a day.

 

I got a liquid compound last Thursday and switched out my middle dose for 3 days, then my first dose for 2 days. By the 5th day, my anxiety and insomnia were outrageous and I couldn’t blame the transition anymore.

 

I talked to a fellow benzo buddy who asked about the manufacturer of the med which I hadn’t thought about.

 

Well, it was a different manufacturer. I switched back to pills.

 

I’m on day 3 1/2 of being on just pills. Day 1 back on just pills I was feeling a little better like I was going to stabilize.

 

Last night and today, insomnia, insane chemical anxiety/heart racing,  brain burning/headache, extreme fatigue.

 

I have a new prescription of liquid with the correct manufacturer.

 

My question is - should I hold at .2mg/day on pill until I stabilize again then transition to the new liquid? Will I stabilize? Getting scared.

 

FYI - I have been at .2mg since January 11th, 2020.

The process of cutting was delayed due to trying to stabilize and the bad transition to liquid.

 

Any advice would be welcome here, please!

It’s hard when you feel like you’re stable then bam, unstable and feeling terrible!

 

It will be interesting to see if the new manufacturer yields any difference when moving to the liquid formulation.  A lot of people feel like they absorb a little less medicine from liquid.  I think a small up-dose is often required (5-10%) when switching from solid to liquid.  Let's see if you feel some reduction using liquid from the 'right' manufacturer.

[[Ho...]]

Hey guys! Been a minute since I’ve been here.

 

Hi friends!

 

Background - cold turkeyed Celexa after adverse reaction to dose increase July 29,2020.

Was taking Ativan randomly for SSRI withdrawal until September 11, 2020 I got on a schedule.

 

Ativan .125mg 3 times a day.

 

I’ll spare you more details but I stabilized there and am now down to .2mg/day - .067mg 3 times a day.

 

I got a liquid compound last Thursday and switched out my middle dose for 3 days, then my first dose for 2 days. By the 5th day, my anxiety and insomnia were outrageous and I couldn’t blame the transition anymore.

 

I talked to a fellow benzo buddy who asked about the manufacturer of the med which I hadn’t thought about.

 

Well, it was a different manufacturer. I switched back to pills.

 

I’m on day 3 1/2 of being on just pills. Day 1 back on just pills I was feeling a little better like I was going to stabilize.

 

Last night and today, insomnia, insane chemical anxiety/heart racing,  brain burning/headache, extreme fatigue.

 

I have a new prescription of liquid with the correct manufacturer.

 

My question is - should I hold at .2mg/day on pill until I stabilize again then transition to the new liquid? Will I stabilize? Getting scared.

 

FYI - I have been at .2mg since January 11th, 2020.

The process of cutting was delayed due to trying to stabilize and the bad transition to liquid.

 

Any advice would be welcome here, please!

It’s hard when you feel like you’re stable then bam, unstable and feeling terrible!

 

It will be interesting to see if the new manufacturer yields any difference when moving to the liquid formulation.  A lot of people feel like they absorb a little less medicine from liquid.  I think a small up-dose is often required (5-10%) when switching from solid to liquid.  Let's see if you feel some reduction using liquid from the 'right' manufacturer.

 

Forgot one detail -

So I tried to switch to a liquid compound in the beginning of February. It was mixed with almond oil. I did it for 5 days with no real mental symptoms - just more sleepy BUT had a reaction to the almond oil. The active ingredient in that mixture was a different manufacturer than the new liquid I this past week with olive oil because the pharmacy ran out of that manufacturer.

 

So I requested a new compound with olive oil and the same manufacturer from the almond oil batch.

 

I have it ready but scared to switch over already since I’m not “stable”. Sleep is still off and not feeling great at all.

 

Should I still make the switch?

 

[Guest [ba...]]

Maybe try taking some regular olive oil along with your current (pill) dose for a week to make sure you don't have any problem with the olive oil.  Oils can affect P450 levels, and if you're one of those with limited P450, the oil may be interfering with metabolism of the benzo.  So if you take the same volume of (regular) oil along with your regular pill, you should be able to see if this could be an issue moving forward.  If all is good after a week(ish), then consider trying the new oil. 

[[Ho...]]

Maybe try taking some regular olive oil along with your current (pill) dose for a week to make sure you don't have any problem with the olive oil.  Oils can affect P450 levels, and if you're one of those with limited P450, the oil may be interfering with metabolism of the benzo.  So if you take the same volume of (regular) oil along with your regular pill, you should be able to see if this could be an issue moving forward.  If all is good after a week(ish), then consider trying the new oil.

 

I did this already. The compound pharmacy gave me the combo without the Ativan to try for 4 days. I didn’t have any issues until they added in the lorazepam. So that’s how I kind of figured out something was wrong with the lorazepam.

 

I guess - should I wait to switch until I stabilize back on the pill or go ahead and do it? I feel pretty crumby but also frustrated that I’m still sitting at .2mg since January. Although, I’d much rather do it safely than quickly.

[Guest [ba...]]

It's up to you when to try the new oil.  Stable doesn't mean that you feel good; it just means you feel good/confident enough to continue.  You're the only one who knows when you're ready to move on.

 

No harm in holding for a while.  Don't let that bother you.  You're correct that you'd rather do this right than have to do a big up-dose and begin a new taper.  Take your time.