Tapering off Ativan Support Thread

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Do most do daily taper of low doses or drops every week- 2 weeks?

Hi JuJuBi, I reduce by a micro amount daily to try to keep my taper as smooth as possible, How fortunate you have such a good support system!  Keep up the good work!  Luey

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I JUMPED...…………………………...2 days ago! I have now slept pretty much like a baby  - maybe just 98% the first tonight and 99% last night. I finally quit after three nights at 0.02mg. I tried to go to 0.01mg but my scale would not go that low. I decided I would shuttle crumbs in half but it got so damn complicated. I was considering jumping at 0.03mg but my husband basically said "Don't do it! Don't F it up." So I was patient.

I am not crying tonight as I was about 10 days ago.

 

From 4mg to 0  in 1 Year 3 months and 5 days. My husband, again said "It took two years" and I politely corrected him with the real numbers.

 

So how do I feel? Really, not that much different. There has been no-one here, ever, but myself taking it for sleep, but my journey still was like everyone here. We taper individually, but our bond is what is special. I do feel like a little burden has been lifted from life. One less drug. One less drug I have to schedule into my nightly pharmacological routine. I am happy though. "A long journey into night" the title of a Eugene O'Neil play.

 

I have to thank Luey the most as you have been here the same time as me, we began together. You at 6mg! And me at 4!. You helped wih many thoughtful and encouraging words. It is truly a gift you have.

 

THANK YOU. THANK YOU ALL. YOU RESCUED ME FROM DESPAIR. I was Just hanging on. 

 

Tonight, Tech and Luey you are both so close! I really slowed down then, so as to not F it up as Ru Paul (and my husband said). Beauty I am no Rockstar but I appreciate the words. Once in Calgary (a LONG time ago!) during the annual Gay Rodeo, some guy at some bar asked if I was a "Cowboy?" I never heard that again. Once I was in a Taxi heading to Miami (another LONG time ago) and the driver asked me "Are you as Muslim?" I never heard that before either? Maybe I have been like a rock-star at times in my life, but as 58 it feels so elusive to be at the "end of the middle" of our careers as me and my best friend like to call it -exact same as Oboma.

 

You know what? I want off all these damn drugs. I did not take my first sleeping pill until I was 50. I did not begin my so called "Bipolar" journey until I was 54. Who gets this "diagnosis" at 55? I asked my psych. "How can I be polar if I have never been depressed?" Look into the DSM it isn't there. I have always been a little "Normal Manic" and that is why I have been so productive in my life. But I am getting away from CELEBRATION!

 

But now it is another Benzo. 1mg. My psych. says it is harder to taper. Now  how can I leave the people behind who helped saved my life? Not know. Maybe not for a time. God Bless you All. To all-non-believers too. Good night ALL AS YOU RID YOUR BODY/brain of this poison. Powerball 

 

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Hello all

 

Beautyfromashes invited me over here. I'm really late to this party. I'm still at .125mg with about 20 doses left (dry crumbs). Because my doctor isn't willing to do a valium crossover, or a compounding pharmacy, or a liquid-- and frankly, doesn't really seem to believe in withdrawal-- I've just been kicking it old school.

 

I don't know if it would be worth it to try to microdose the remainder. Also I've been in constant fear of being cut off too early, so I don't have a lot of wiggle room with any of this. I'm glad I made it this far, but it has been really uncomfortable and sometimes debilitating. I admit that I'm worried that "uncomfortable" will turn into miserable after jumping, but I'm sure this is what most of us are worried about.

 

The most persistent withdrawal symptoms for me has been paresthesia and during this last month, insomnia. I haven't really found anything to counteract those, so I'm hoping they don't get worse. My prescriber-- a psychiatrist-- is insisting that my symptoms are not due to withdrawal but are due to "anxiety."  It bothers me greatly that doctors would rather label/misdiagnose a patient rather than suspect the medication itself.

 

He told me it's time to "rip the bandaid." I wanted to say, "Can we first wait for the bleeding to stop completely?" But there's really no point in trying to convince him that the problem isn't in my head. Some doctors seem more psychologically tied to these drugs than we are.

 

As a consolation to anyone reading this, I'm not feeling worse at .125 than I did at higher doses. It's not getting progressively harder with each cut. I know that's not true for everyone and I don't know what's ahead for me. I'm trying to just cope with each day and not get too far ahead of myself. Any words of advice or wisdom are welcome. I'm rooting for us!

 

-Liz

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Powerball, the beloved cowboy rockstar of our ativan thread. So pleased for you. I hope you’ll come see us from time to time. Glad you didn’t F it up...ha! Thanks for the pep talk, hubby!

 

Welcome Baroness! You belong here, always have - now what to do about these 20 doses?? I don’t know what I would do. I like your idea about microtapering. That seems like your best chance for a gentle ride out if there’s no way doc will give you more pills. Doctors can be so helpful or so cruel, can’t they? I’m sorry yours doesn’t believe you. You’ll get through this, heal, and that psych will be delightfully forgotten. Keep us posted on what you decide and how you are!

 

I’ve been microcutting my doses a bit this week. I’m at .32ish mgs and striving for .3 by June 1. Symptoms will dictate. Thank you for all the nausea tips. I used all of them, I think, and it seems to have mostly passed.

 

Love and healing to all.

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Thanks beauty,

 

Yeah, I'm trying to figure out how to make these last pill crumbs last longer so that, like Powerball, I don't F it up right at the end!

 

I just don't know how to best go about it. When I read the instructions for it, I can't seem to make sense of it. I've watched a few youtube videos with people using the scale, but I still don't get it. It seems like if someone is going to do a demo, then something goes awry in the middle of their explanation and they have to say, "Well, normally it doesn't do this, so I'll just do this other workaround ..." and then I'm lost, LOL.

 

I am having a really hard time with anything that is very sequential or procedural, or however one would describe it.

 

 

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Powerball

Congrats to you , I truly have enjoyed your post , your humor and your writings .

I am not a skilled writer but I am a great caregiver .

I hope to be done within the next couple of months also . We will see . Hope you check in

Best Lisa

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Congrats Powerball!  So happy for you!

 

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HI

 

What dose can i jump off ativan ?

 

I have tapered over several years and I'm 0.03 with a 2.25 mg valium to go as well which i take at night.

 

I have been dry cutting so the scale accuracy might be skewed.

 

Many Thanks

P

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[move]!!! CONGRATULATIONS POWERBALL !!! 🎉 HIP HIP HOORAY! 🎉[/move]

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I had a bit of a rough day today emotionally. Lot's of doubt and fear and what if's rolling around in my head.  I cried this afternoon. I will be taking my next cut next Thursday and a bit scared. I am waiting because it's my grandson's Birthday party this weekend. I want to enjoy it without being in full withdrawal

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Hubby is helping me put together a taper plan. He wants me to start small and see how this goes on the liquid. My first cut on the liquid was .02 MG about 2.4% and it went pretty smooth, especially in comparison to my early large ones and the mess I was a month ago. I am leaning to 5%. My motivation is just wanting to get off this med. Patience has never been my strong point. Hubby's motivation is to see his wife in less pain.  I just don't want to cut too much and set myself back or go to slow.

 

I know once I get started I will get more comfortable. Am I over thinking all this? 

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Powerball!!!  Congratulations!!!

 

You are done with Ativan my friend!  I/we know how much perseverance, patience and determination it took!  It truly is a hero's journey.  You have done it and come out the other side, preserving your sleep which was your goal from the beginning!

 

I remember when you joined this thread at about the same time as me in March 2019!  I remember thinking how glad I was that someone else was tapering from a high dose like me.  I felt kind of out there on the extreme edge of things by myself. I was grateful to have a pal.

 

During this time you moved to a new apartment in a new part of NYC, served as an intern provost, were hired for the permanent position, took a cruise on the Amazon River in the jungles of Peru, adopted a cat and survived during the peak in the epicenter of the corona virus pandemic!! Truly amazing!

 

You've made me laugh so many times and I've always looked forward to your stories and your support.  I hope you will consider staying around this thread as an honorary member as you embark on your next quest.  If you do decide to take a break and move on from here, please let us know.  I can understand wanting to move on from the taper of this poison.

 

I can't believe how attached I have become to you and others on this anonymous forum!  You all are part of my daily life and only those of us who have gone/ are going through this can truly understand!

 

Treat yourself to something special (healthy of course!) I'm doing a little dance for you!

 

Big Hugs and High Fives!

 

Luey

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To all

 

It literally makes me proud to call you my "masked friends" but we truly know a lot about each other and now everyone is masked! I cannot wait for Tech and Luey to jump too! I'll be here for that for sure! Luey! You have tracked my life better than I!! AMAZING! DOUBLE AMAZING! Committed thanks for the Banner. The only one previously I got was a surprise for my 30th BD.

 

So...can you believe there is no active Xanax group? What the H?. Just reading diaries goes so far, I need relationships. Even the Help Desk was no help. That just makes no sense.

 

And to JuJU I don't think there is real "plan" that lasts, but you do have a starting plan which is great! The time the best plan is the best plan is unit it isn't. I must have had 30+ plans here. And what I hear a lot here is to listen to your body. I think I have heard Luey say that a lot.

 

As to when to jump Pete? I cannot say for certain. You hear about people jumping at 0.05mg. For me? No way! I hung on until my scale went down to 0.02mg and it literally took me 30 minutes to cut that. I spent 3 nights at 0.02mg and that was that. No more splitting hairs.

 

I jumped off the high dive off the cliffs in Curacao 3 years ago at 55. My husband told some folks sitting around me to see if I would really do it. I chickened out thee times, so then I held my nose and JUMPED! We have it on tape/sound video and my husband told the couple watching "He thinks he is a child." Yes, I did. Sounds like you are about there but you decide....good night all. Powerball.

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Greetings All,

 

Committed:  Please check in soon if you can.  I hope you're doing well.  We're here to support you no matter what, just as you do for all of us.

 

Tech:  As PB says, I can't wait to celebrate your victory over this poison, you're getting so close. I think you should receive a patience award.  It does sound like you've been feeling better these days which is the important thing.  Thanks for caring for all of us.

 

Beauty: Good to hear your nausea has passed, that's the worst feeling.

 

Baroness Blixen: Welcome!  Great name and photo by the way!  Is there any chance you can find a new doc.?  If I only had 20 doses left I think I would try to micro-taper the crumbs.  Do you mean you have 20 x .125mg doses?  I might be able to take a stab at a schedule if that stays your only option. But I would be immediately looking far and wide for a different prescriber.  On the bright side you haven't been feeling worse as you lower your amount and you're already on a low dose of 1/8 of a mg.

 

Pete Welcome!  Ashton's suggested quit dose for Ativan is .05mg.  I think if you're feeling ok, go for it.  If not you could do what PB did and taper the remaining particles of dust if your scale will cooperate. Congratulations on your taper! Your patience will help you be successful with your tiny amount of valium too.

 

JuJu, I think most of us can relate to the emotions you describe. I agree with your husband about going slowly enough to minimize symptoms.

 

edit: In solidarity for all who are suffering,

 

Luey

 

 

 

 

[[Ap...]]

Congrats Powerball!!!  :thumbsup:

 

So nice to see some positivity in dark times!

[[be...]]

Happy weekend, friends. Just checking in to say hello and see how everyone is doing. I micro cut down to .3 the past few days, and I’m feeling really good. I have some symptoms, but I’d say they’re minor and manageable. Thank you all so much for showing up around here - such a comfort to not walk this alone.

 

Juju, those thoughts can come after us all. Keep leaning in to your support system and know that the drugs themselves distort our thinking and make us feel more fear/doubt than we otherwise would. You’re doing great, and we are all here for you.

 

PB, how’s it going? Feeling any different?

 

Luey, I appreciate your info and positivity. Amazing how far that goes to ease a troubled mind in taper.

 

All others, keep on keeping on.

[[Ju...]]

Happy weekend to you beauty! Wow you are doing so well. 

 

I am so glad you are all here.  I might wear you all out with questions. I have sooooo many. It is nice to have a group I can come to for support and feedback. I think I wear my hubby out talking way too much about tapering and how I feel. He may be right too that I focus too much on it.

 

After my first weeks reading on other forums I would have described myself a petrified triggered rabbit that was too paralyzed to get off the couch.  Full of so much fear.  Then I was invited here. What a great group. Thanks again.

 

Beauty you are so right to remind me that it is the drugs causing this fear and doubt.

 

Today I went to a family get together for my grandson's one year Bday. I actually went and did ok and enjoyed myself. The work up to do it was more stress than the event! But I breathed, self talked and self coached my way. Hubby was sure I would leave after 45 min. But I was pleasantly surprised I stayed and even enjoyed myself. Even a week ago I would have been in the car 15 min and said turn around and take me home.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[Ap...]]

Happy weekend to you beauty! Wow you are doing so well. 

 

I am so glad you are all here.  I might wear you all out with questions. I have sooooo many. It is nice to have a group I can come to for support and feedback. I think I wear my hubby out talking way too much about tapering and how I feel. He may be right too that I focus too much on it.

 

After my first weeks reading on other forums I would have described myself a petrified triggered rabbit that was too paralyzed to get off the couch.  Full of so much fear.  Then I was invited here. What a great group. Thanks again.

 

Beauty you are so right to remind me that it is the drugs causing this fear and doubt.

 

Today I went to a family get together for my grandson's one year Bday. I actually went and did ok and enjoyed myself. The work up to do it was more stress than the event! But I breathed, self talked and self coached my way. Hubby was sure I would leave after 45 min. But I was pleasantly surprised I stayed and even enjoyed myself. Even a week ago I would have been in the car 15 min and said turn around and take me home.

 

Great job getting out of that car and enjoying your family JuJuBi! Never easy in the pregame prep but glad you were able to rock when the game started

 

.3 Beauty!!! Poppin bottles with the ice!

[[Ju...]]

April,

 

Thanks for the words of encouragement. 

 

You are doing so well!  You are getting close. I started my microtaper today however so gently to test the uncharted waters. Hoping the fear is behind me and I can move forward. I have to get back on the horse and keep riding down the trail!

 

 

 

Luey, Beauty and Tech -  It is so good to be here and watch you all moving forward.

[[Ju...]]

Good evening to all

I did it I started my microtaper today!   It's small but it it a start.

My doses are a little different,

 

.298, .298 and .2 at night.  I was not given for sleep and originally only dosed morning and afternoon.  I found I wasn't sleeping well so pharmacist suggest this split to give me a night dose and to avoid interdose withdrawal.  I am now sleeping 6-7 hours most nights. I have had folks say I may regret later not having an even split.  My fear is if I even these out now then I will just have turn around and start reducing the night dose and maybe interrupt sleep.

 

 

To Luey

 

Since you are on a liquid as I am I have a couple questions. I told you I would be full of questions.

I am having to use 2 syringes.  1 for the 2 ml (.2mg) and the other very tiny one for the .98 ml (.098mg)

My liquid ratio is 1ml = .1mg

 

Is there a better way?  Can the liquid be made weaker strength? Or do I just stick with this and be very careful and patient with these older eye balls. It is really hard t see those tiny little lines. Currently I am using amber colored syringes with white lines. Would clear ones with black lines be easier.  any tips/tricks appreciated.

 

 

 

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I did it I started my microtaper today! My doses are a little different, .298, .298 and .2 at night.

Hi JuJuBi, Congratulations on starting DLMT (daily liquid micro-tapering).  My doses are also not divided equally.  I take 1/2 my total 24hr dose in the evening and the other 1/2 divided by 2 during the day.  My opinion is if what you are doing is working stick with it, if not you can try to slowly switch things around.

I am having to use 2 syringes.  1 for the 2 ml (.2mg) and the other very tiny one for the .98 ml (.098mg) My liquid ratio is 1ml = .1mg

Is there a better way?  Can the liquid be made weaker strength? Or do I just stick with this and be very careful and patient with these older eye balls. It is really hard t see those tiny little lines. Currently I am using amber colored syringes with white lines. Would clear ones with black lines be easier.  any tips/tricks appreciated

Currently I also use 2 syringes: a 10ml syringe and a 1ml syringe to measure out my total daily dose.

My ratio is also 0.1mg/ml.  When I get lower I plan to just use the 1ml syringe.  Also when I get closer to the end, to make it easier, I might use a more diluted solution of 0.01mg/ml.

 

I agree it is difficult to see the tiny lines on the 1ml syringe.  To make it easier I was reducing by .05ml total per day.  Now I am reducing by .10ml total per day.  The 5 and 10 increments are easier to see.  I use clear syringes with black markings which might be easier than your amber ones.

 

I learned a couple of good tips from Builder, who used to be an active member of BBs, who helped many of us start DLMT.  He said don't worry about being 100% accurate with the syringe.  The important thing is to slowly decrease your dose at a rate that works for you. He pointed out that tablets actually have small variations anyway. 

 

I also got the idea from him to measure out my total daily dose in a measuring cup and then top it off with water.  I then drink 1/2cup in the evening and 1/4cup & 1/4cup in the day.

 

I hope this helps.  Please let me know if you have any other questions.

 

Luey

 

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Beauty and all:

 

Thanks for asking, in many ways, I feel like nothing happened. I tapered down as far as my scale would go 0.02mg and then spent three days there. I really had intentions of getting down to 0.005mg (!) for three days before I jumped. I even took photos of my crumble! (not crumbles). When I jumped, I literally swam away...

 

Since my swim back to the shore I have had some nausea and so that is my other ugly Benzo (Xanax) working. I thought it was all Ativan, but obviously not. I have gone a little bongo being quarantined for so long. My stress at work, side by side to a viper (even if by Zoom), and a feckless boss have both worn on me. I have lost a few pounds.   

 

I haven't begun a Xanax taper.  I have not found a good group to join. Maybe psychs have not been prescribing Alprazolam. Anyone tapering should deserve a group as good as this one.  Goodnight. Powerball.

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Powerball, If there's not a Xanax group (or even if there is), stick with us for the moral support part, we know you and we love you!  Maybe we're not the experts on Xanax specifically, but from everything I can tell the advice for tapering all the benzos is similar- listen to your body and taper at a slow enough rate to minimize withdrawal symptoms.  I've read that xanax is stronger than ativan so maybe you'll need to make smaller cuts depending on how you feel, how stressful your job is, etc. You are already an expert at micro-tapering.  I know you are going to be successful little by little.  We are here to support you!  Luey

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Thanks Luey

 

I am still "officially recovered" from Ativan! I will hunt around for some Xanax tips but I appreciate the offer to hang out here too. I will do that. Hell, many of us are on so many damn drugs. See how early I am on here. This might be a record for me. I am already a little desperate. Powerball. 

[[Ju...]]

Hello Powerball

 

 

You got through your Ativan taper I am sure you will conquer the Xanax beast just as well. It is good to hear you walked off Ativan.  I hear you on the nausea. Today has been a better day for my nausea. I started micro tapering 2 days ago.  I think what I feel now is fear more than anything.

 

I am worried about having to go back to the office at some point and it's scaring me to death. I am managing this remote. But having to be around everyone.  Ugh  No word on going back yet. I am sure I can at least manage to be home through July. Hubby suggests getting a doctor release to stay home longer if needed.  But that is a ways off but how my worrying mind works.

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Hi JuJuBi, Were you able to read my experiences w/ microtapering related to your questions?  Maybe calling in practices that help you with fear and worry would be helpful.  What works for you?  For me it's hiking, gardening, rest, distraction, spiritual work, contact with good friends and cleaning my house (-:.

 

Hi Powerball,  How about you giving yourself a break until you feel ready to proceed?  I have definitely done that a few times so far and it really seemed to help; I know you have too.  It sounds like you're under a lot of stress right now, not to mention all that is going on in the country which is also stressful. Go easy on yourself.

 

May all be well,

 

Luey