Tapering off Ativan Support Thread

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Committed to be Free, thank you for asking about how I am. I’m sitting at .53/.54 daily and almost ready for another cut. I really need support/encouragement, as my fear of the future is sometimes consuming. Sometimes, I feel good and like I’m controlling what I can and have hope for what’s to come...other times, I am so bogged down in how this even happened to me and what healing will be like. I’ve read too many scary stories online, and I’m afraid. I meet with a wonderful therapist, and my doctor is supportive of my taper. I have a great family with a helpful, loving husband and four young children. I know these things are blessings and will benefit/motivate me in healing, but I’m also grieving what this has already done to me and my little family. I am committed to getting off this drug, and I think some of these feelings are just going to be part of my tapering/withdrawal. All support and encouragement welcome.

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Hello Beauty,

 

I understand about being afraid. For me, it is easy to let the unknown consume me sometimes. I used to be very focused on when my taper would be done. (We all want off this stuff so badly!) However, recently I have started giving more attention to the fact that every day is another day closer to 0 Ativan. Somehow, mentally, that has helped me. I think we have all read to many scary stories online. I know it is easy for me to say, but try not to be afraid. Remember, Ativan really does affect out perception of things. You are strong! You can do this! You have already come so far! I am in awe of the fact that you are doing this with 4 young children!!

 

It is wonderful to hear you have such a loving, supportive family! Have your withdrawal symptoms been pretty manageable? What coping skills have you been using?

 

We will all get through this together!

 

Hugs,

Committed

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Beauty,

You got this .. Its very difficult at times and someonetimes it feels very lonley ,  This is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life .

I have 5 children all grown now and remember the days of how hard it is to care for children when you are feeling good. So be proud that you are doing this with children it goes to show how strong you are.

Keep up what you are doing and dont worry about how long it takes it will come to an end one day.

I am at the end stage of my taper and it is still difficult at times but I will never give up until this is done.

It has now taken me over a year and a half to come off of less than 1 mg of ativan.

Keep up the good work.

Lisa

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Powerball, I'm so sorry you're dealing with other health issues.

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Thank you for the replies! Committed, the symptoms are rough on the day I cut and a few days after - insomnia, burning nerves/skin, some odd throat sensation, tremor, low energy, and chemical anxiety are the biggies. I have mostly-manageable interdose withdrawal, because I only dose twice a day...but my body is used to this pattern so I’m hesitant to change. I may have to as the doses go lower. The coping I use is...deep breathing, mindfulness practice, occasional meditation, walks around my neighborhood when I feel up to it, tapping, prayer, and distraction distraction distraction.

 

My husband is helping with everything around our home (kids, groceries, cooking, everything). As much as we don’t love quarantine, it’s been life-saving to have him here so much while I’m tapering. The first few weeks were horrible for me as I stabilized (so much better now). I also have a housekeeper who, long ago, tapered off of Clonazepam. She is an angel to me, and she offers so much comfort and advice. My children know I don’t feel well, but I’m trying so hard to keep up my usual activities with them. If I can’t physically do the things they’re doing, I camp out close by so they can at least see me. I do better in the evenings, I think as cortisol drops, so I spend those hours pouring into them as much as I can - baths, books, snuggles, talking. I am thankful to be functional as I know it’s not always the case for tapering.

 

I am so proud of everyone here...the perseverance in the face of such hardship is so inspiring. Thank you all for your posts. Please please please let’s all keep posting and seeing each other through!!

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All these gold souls with so many children and still managing tp taper. I may be gay married man,  but I always thought it was a fulltime job just taking care of myself! My husband knows I am relatively high maintenance and of course he is at the other end of the spectrum. Well I did it on. 10 mg taper was a record for me. The last time I tried 0.10 I failed miserably. Tonight is the second trial. AND ALL THESRE LOW DOSES. Since I have been on here just over a year, I haver seen that! Luey was on 6mg. I was on 4mg We are rock'in. Good night. Powerball.

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You can do it, Powerball!!! 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

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Good morning All!

 

Powerball - WOW WOW WOW!!  So fantastic your reductions are going so well for you!!

 

Beauty - Sounds like you have an outstanding handle on your taper. How blessed you are to have access to someone who has already been through a taper. I too am so grateful that my husband has been working from home. Are your kids doing their schooling online? (Or are they to little for school?)

 

Hoping everyone finds moments of serenity today,

Committed

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Hi buddies. I need a little encouragement if anyone has some to spare today. I cut two days ago (I’ve been cutting and holding...will probably try switching to microtaper after this, bc symptoms are ⬆️⬆️⬆️). I’m sure I’m a few days away from stabilizing, I feel no urge to updose...I’m just feeling it extra right now. I had a bout with insomnia last night, and I spent much of it with looping thoughts about tapering and doses and benzos and healing. Also, after two months of neck pain relief following the steroid injection that turned my CNS upside down, my neck is hurting today. I have taken Motrin in the past and even some during taper, but I’m anxious reading about NSAIDs causing others so much trouble. I will ice throughout the day, and I’m praying it won’t go into a full flare (I have a bulging disk in there that causes pain and radiculopathy in my arm/hand).

 

Committed, three of my children are doing online school, and two need a lot of help/oversight. My oldest is pretty independent, and the baby is 4.5...we just read books and play. I am functional and happy around my kids, but my energy level is way down.

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Beauty - So sorry to hear you are having a rough time. I will definitely be praying you feel some relief soon and the discomfort in your neck eases! I think we would all agree that micro tapering is a good idea. I know for me personally it helped. How wonderful that your kids can be such a positive distraction for you! Hang in there!!!

 

 

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Thank you, Committed. I also switched today to using the .5mg pills and see they’re by a different manufacturer than the 2mg and 1mg pills I had before. Have you all noticed differences in pills by different manufacturers? These new ones are by Teva. 😬

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Beauty:

 

It is so hard to imagine that such tiny doses can have such impact on us. About two months ago I think, I was down to .11 and tried to go to .10, but it was a bomb. I am the only one here that takes Ativan once a day solely for sleep. Sleep consolidation is critical to me. If I have to get up a little early because my work has a deadline I can it, but later in the day I do pay.

 

After my bomb I up-dosed to .17mg and hung there for a while and the began an even slower taper, cutting 0.01 every 4 days instead of every 3 days. It has worked perfectly for me. Tonight I go to 0.08mg. I am still sleeping like a baby and I do not understand it. As I tapered dowm from 4 mg, I began 1 mg of Xanax 45min before the Ativan to potentiate the Ativan. I am beginning to think that has now been the most critical factor in my sleep. But I really do not know. After tonight (If all goes well) I will stay at 0.08 for 3 more nights than then go to 0.07mg. My Microgram scale only goes to 0.05 and sometimes 0.04mg.. But I will NOT jump like others do. I shall visually eyeball my shavings until I simply fade to zero. If I am still sleeping post Ativan then it is the Xanax and the placebo response too. I probably hang out with the Xanax for a while before I begin cutting. My psych says it is harder to taper than Ativan. Anyone here on Xanax? I will pray for you beauty lots Beauty. Good night all. Powerball. 

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Powerball: such a kindly worded response. Thank you. The replies to my messages here today helped me so much to power through these hard symptoms. I won’t do a 10% cut again, I don’t think...I’d handled it okay before, but my body says it’s time to slow down to stay functional. I know what you mean about the tiny dose causing such big reactions. We are all just so sensitive. I am praying for you, too, Powerball...you are SO CLOSE! I love your idea of going all the way down to the dust...anything that might soften the landing into acute seems like a fabulous idea. Please update as you go!! You’re going to do it! 🦋

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Hey everyone! I joined a few weeks ago and apparently missed this thread but I'm here now. My story is oddly similar to Beauty's.

 

Here is my intro post:

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=239474.0

 

And here is my taper plan thread:

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=239578.0

 

Glad to have found the thread. We can do this!!!!

 

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Welcome April! 

 

We are a small but supportive group.  I know all of our experiences are different, yet we share this journey- you are not alone.  Indeed it does seem like you and Beauty are at similar places, maybe you can exchange notes.

 

How is everyone?  I hope you had peaceful moments this weekend.  I'm still here chipping away- my main distraction these days is gardening, I'm grateful.

 

I hope everyone is staying healthy and getting at least a little bit of sunshine and fresh air.

 

Good work Powerball getting down to the last crumbs.  You will also succeed with tapering the 1mg. Xanax when the time comes.

 

Wishing everyone the best possible start to your week.  Take good care of yourselves.

 

Hugs to All, 

 

Luey

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Glad you joined us here, April! Ativan/lorazepam can be a devilish taper, but we are all doing it and getting there. I cannot wait to be on the other side of this with everyone in our little Ativan club. I have learned so much and been greatly encouraged by the kindness here, and I hope that will be your experience as well. I can’t believe how similar our stories/timeline are. I have to slow down a bit now, because my body did not like the full 10% cut I made a few days ago. I’m going to play with it a little and see what works best for me. I don’t want to hold 2-4 weeks like the hard core Ashton peeps encourage...but I don’t want to stress my already-sensitized system by cutting too much too soon. Such a tightrope. Everyone has to find their own way.

 

In other news, everyone, I divided my two doses into four today to see if I could ease some interdose that I was sure I was experiencing. It was night and day better than my usual two doses. I’m not sure if I’ll do four for long or if three would work better with my life (four feels like I’m constantly taking meds), but I definitely found the extra doses made for an easier afternoon.

 

Hope everyone had a decent day in tapertown. 🦋

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Welcome to all the new people, and hello to all that are always here.

Congrats to you Powerball.....!! I am still cutting away at 0.17 and sleep is affected when I cut too fast.

I also dose 3 times a day as that helped me also.

Glad to her you are gardening Luey, that saves me too, although here in Maine it has been cold with alot of rain.

Hope everyone stays safe and has better days ahead.

Lisa

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Welcome April!

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Thank you everyone! Glad you all exist

 

We had great weather this weekend too. The last 2 days were not the greatest but they would have been much worse if it was cold and rainy.

 

Luey - I spent a couple hours at the local nursery today picking out some new plants for the landscaping that the stinking bunnies chewed up during the winter. Put them all in with the help of my 4 year old. Good day so far.

 

I'm suppose to cut from 1m>.75mg tomorrow. I think I'm going to still so I can keep this train going but slightly nervous because a couple not so great days in a row. If I can finish out the day better today I will carry on. I feel like these are such big cuts compared to the average buddy but it hasn't been too bad going from 1.5>1.25 and then 1.25>1 over the course of the last 2 weeks. I'm a bit scared that I'm pushing on the fast end of the recommended 1-2 weeks per hold and on the large end of the dosage of cuts and that it will catch up to me at some point. OR maybe it won't and I'll be one who gets the lucky ticket and has an uneventful taper!

 

Beauty, I've been on 3 doses per day since I started the taper and that seems to be working. I normally only start to get a bit of withdrawal anxiety and dizzyness during the mid afternoon (3pm ish) to early evening (7pm ish). Right now I try to take my morning dose at 8:30, afternoon at 3:30, and evening at 9:30. I could see how 4 could possible help that mid afternoon anxiety but not sure if I want to mess with having to break down even more pills per day. 

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Good evening Rachel. Always interesting how we all taper differently. I mean ALL of us. I have been on a roll/sleeping even "Saintly"! Then two nights ago I went down to 0.08mg and my sleep was restless, but not the worst. I did not think much about it but it was different. I didn't even think it was going from 0.09 to 0.08. Then when I went to make my dose last night I noticed a chunk! of Ativan left on my scale! no wonder! I estimate that I probably had taken 0.06 mg /maybe even 0.05! So I decided maybe I should spend 5 nights at 0.08 instead of 4. So I was curious how I would sleep last night, having interrupted my good roll. So I got into bed last night and I could not sleep. Horrors! So instead of a small up -dose which I have done in the past. I decided to try the one pretty reliable trick (all the CBT-Insomnia experts recommend); I got up and read for about 30 minutes. When I yawned twice I returned to bed and then slept like a rock. It has been a very long time since I had to employ the "get up and read trick." Let's see how tonight goes. Good night all. AGAIN THE ANGRY POWER OF THESE REALLY MICRODOSES. Powerball. 

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You’re so close, powerball!!! I need to do the get up and read trick...the flopping around counting the minutes to the morning dose isn’t working for me. Sweet dreams!!

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Thanks Beuty. As Associate Provost, my job is very tough. I worked until 4 am last night which I have not done in 10 years. That will not happen again. I exercised 2 days this week but that did not keep up. My meditation I have missed for there 3 days. lt was too late to read last night so I did the usual updose of 0.05. I will be ok. Good night. Powerball.

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Who has done water titration with lorazepam here? I’m down to .45mg daily, but I have to use 1mg pills (due to generic brand carried by my pharmacy - I had a reaction to the .5s that were a different manufacturer than the 1s). I’ve read that lorazepam won’t dissolve well in water. Have you found this to be true? What have you used AND had success with? I’ve used the Gemini scale to cut and hold all along...this will be an entirely new method for me.

 

Thanks!

E

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Beauty, here is some info on liquid tapering. I used only water, though. I tried dissolving it in alcohol, but I thought I might have felt a little worse when I did that so I went back to all water. http://benzo.alwaysdata.net/titration/titrationHelp.htm?help=Readme+First

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Who has done water titration with lorazepam here? I’m down to .45mg daily, but I have to use 1mg pills (due to generic brand carried by my pharmacy - I had a reaction to the .5s that were a different manufacturer than the 1s). I’ve read that lorazepam won’t dissolve well in water. Have you found this to be true? What have you used AND had success with? I’ve used the Gemini scale to cut and hold all along...this will be an entirely new method for me.Thanks! E

Hi Beauty,  The link AF1 sent you is good to get an overall description of liquid tapering.  But it might be confusing unless you link to the main app,  http://benzo.alwaysdata.net/  Although AF1 used only water, I have read studies, and it is widely reported here on BBs, that Ativan is not soluable in water.  You need to use a solvent like alcohol.  I switched from "cut and hold" to liquid tapering and have been almost symptom free for seven months now going at a slow pace.  At least three of us on this Ativan support thread switched to liquid.  If you decide to try it, but want to do your own math vs. using Jim Hawk's computer application, I can show you a formula.  I hope this helps and am happy to help answer questions.  Luey