4-6 month club. How are you doing?

[[re...]]

Hello my benzo buddies. I am 6 months off and still struggling but somehow reaching deep to grab hold of something solid, strong and profound inside of myself. That feels pretty amazing.

 

My sx are still, tingling, burning, fatigued, dizzy, tinnitus, blurred vision, high anxiety, dark depression, intrusive thoughts, feelings, memories, obsessional thought (fear) of death, hot flashes, nerve pain bottom of my feet, tooth pain, jaw pain, lack of appetite, and just a general bleak outlook which I fight every day. But the good news is I FIGHT. I am slowly letting go of the victim role and finding my voice to stand up to this beast and to those who dont support my fight.

 

How is everyone else in the 4-6 month club doing? Did you see a rise in sx at some point? I would love to compare notes.

 

I am so proud of all of us! Keep the faith.

[[ji...]]

Severe insomnia. I don't know how to fix it at all. I'm starting to think it's psychological and not benzo wd anymore. Baby is celebrating Xmas with a fever and I've had dour hrs sleep in 2 days

[[re...]]

Jittery I am so sorry to hear you are battling this.

Is there any way to break through the insomnia cycle with a good therapist if it is indeed psychological?

I hope you get some relief soon.

Sending you my best.

 

[[Sc...]]

I hit a horrible wave at 4 months...brutal.  Then this past week it lifted significantly.  Now these past few days it's a bit more rough again, but not as bad as earlier this month.  For me, it's more physical right now.  Still have major waves of nausea, lack of appetite, burning skin on my back and left arm, muscle aches...and now the biggie is this gagging feeling.  Makes it very difficult to eat as I feel like I have to gag the entire time.  I also still get very big crying spells.  A lot of things have improved though...and like you "recoveringfrombenzos", I find I can work through it better.  I hate it, but I just do it.  I tell myself time and time again "it's just w/d...it's not "me". 

 

I am hoping 6 months is that BIG turnaround, but if not, then I'll do what I gotta do....which is continue to stay strong!

 

SO PROUD of you all...this is one tough journey and I have respect for you all!

 

Love,

Schatje

[[...]]

hey - i just got my 6 months off;  really severe anxiety still, high blood pressure, extreme fatigue and shortness of breath; depression still as well; milder dr/dp that it was but still creeps me out.  sometimes i am just sickish; flu like sympthoms and sick w/d

 

sleeping is better; hardly stay awake past 9 or 10 - wake up to have a sip of juice and go back to sleep; even took a nap today. thankful for that

 

i am not terrified by it anymore like i was; and i have hope.  i believe i will totally heal from this.  i'm not that young and have a history

of ad's so that is prob involved.

thanks so much for being there

[[ca...]]

Seriously, it is very discouraging to see so many people still having major w/d symptoms after stopping benzos for 6 months. If I still have w/d symptoms at 6 months out then it is really going seem like I have ruined myself permanently from Valium. Hopefully because I only took Valium for 4 months then my symptoms will be gone in 6 months. I am at the 3 week mark now and I feel like things are getting better for me. The only issues I am having now are some periods of anxiety,dizziness, and some muscle pains.

[[St...]]

I was doing good last week. This weekend came with a wave of anxiety and a few physical symptoms. Mine could be "increased anxiety" with knowing I'm going in for more surgery Jan 6th. Either way, once the surgery is done and behind me, I know I'll continue to heal and improve. Six months off as of yesterday.

[[re...]]

Best of luck on the surgery. Thoughts are with you.

Hope your anxiety settles down soon.

[[ji...]]

Seriously, it is very discouraging to see so many people still having major w/d symptoms after stopping benzos for 6 months. If I still have w/d symptoms at 6 months out then it is really going seem like I have ruined myself permanently from Valium. Hopefully because I only took Valium for 4 months then my symptoms will be gone in 6 months. I am at the 3 week mark now and I feel like things are getting better for me. The only issues I am having now are some periods of anxiety,dizziness, and some muscle pains.

 

Sorry cav, but I was only on them 3 months including my taper.

[[lo...]]

I am about 4 1/2 months off .... Have been caught in a super nasty wave

of severe insomnia for the last three weeks. It is the pits....I didn't know

someone could function on night after night of 3 hrs sleep. It just plain

sucks.....my holiday spirit was nil ... too damn tired to give a hoot!

 

All that being said, I am starting to feel like my old self again. I get

some DR/DP and some anxiety here and there....but man, things have

majorly improved except for the sleep issues. I am afraid to say this for

fear of another wave coming down the pike, but for now I actually have

hope that I am on the mend. Still haven't tried any alcohol....would love to

have had a drink here and there over Christmas, but I am too scared to

chance it right now....am going to give myself a solid year off before I try.

 

So I guess we all just need to keep on keeping on for now....like we have

a choice, right! Happy New Year to us all ... may we find ourselves healing

a bit more each coming day.

[[Ju...]]

Cav, please remember that none of us will have exactly the same experience; you may or may not be suffering another six months or even 6 weeks from now.  The key is to take your recovery day by day.

 

I was on Clonazepam 5 months including taper. But, I pretty much did a c/t.  I will be at 6 months next week, and most of my physical symptoms are gone (except a headache, which I've grown accustomed to after all this time), but the psychological ones are hanging on. Still suffering from minor depression, agorophobia, lack of motivation.  I turned a huge corner between 4-5 months.

 

Better days ahead for all of us!

[[WT...]]

I'm currently just a few days shy of 5 months off, and I turned a corner with my DP/DR on Christmas day.  When I hit the 4 months mark, I got slammed basically that whole month with sever DP/DR, and lots of other things.  Just goes to show that things can turn around really quickly.  It's good to measure progress in months, rather than days, or even weeks, at times.

[[Ca...]]

At 129 days, am getting hit with some stress related depression. It is worse because I had been feeling a lot better. It is so discouraging to feel yuorself slipping down the slide after having climbed up so far. I'm just sick and tired of not knowing what each day will bring. It helps talking to my therapist, just to say all of the negative thoughts and get some encouragement.

 

Keep getting up every day everyone!

[Guest [Tu...]]

I guess I'm just lucky. I hit a wave just before Thanksgiving, but things have been good since then. I'll hit four months on January 7. I have found that I don't have the need to check in to BB every day as I once did. I feel more secure. I've actually begun looking for a job and went to an interview last week without having to even consider a "rescue dose" (which is something I've not had to do for well over 5-6 weeks now).

 

Overall, I'd say I am about 70 percent. I read about the mythical four-month waves and/or the five-month waves, so I'm just keeping positive and trying to get my life back in order and  hope I don't get slammed at four or five months...

 

Tucson

 

[[no...]]

oh boy. i am now at four months. And at my worst level of anxiety ever. Unbelievable fear, onset of agoraphobia, inability to think much past obsessive fear thoughts, which are overtaking everything. I see people who quit from a higher dose after I did even and are improving. I am very scared. I was doing pretty well until a few weeks ago and all hell has broken loose, with only psychological symptoms. They are so strong.

I am starting to think that I am unable to function without a med. I have never felt this bad. Sorry to be a downer. 

[[St...]]

Month four was like that for me too. I had serious doubts I would be able to make it without some kind of help be it a drug or counseling but, I got through it and the beast lost another battle. You will too. Just give it time to pass. That's all we can do. Odd as bad as I felt the past four days, today I felt completely normal even with lack of sleep the past few nights. So hang in there guys and gals. It gets rough. It'll test your will and patience. It will definitely test your soul. Don't give in no matter how hard it gets. It won't hurt you. It's not permanent. It will only make us stronger and we will appreciate normalcy that much more when, not if, when we get it back. Think of the soldiers deployed for a year or more. Their outcome isn't known but they fight on for their cause. Our outcome is known and we're safe from harm regarding our enemy within. We're fighting something inside us that's dying. Don't feed it. Outlast it and let it pass.

[[no...]]

Trying. I dont know why I cannot believe that it is not me its withdrawal. My obsessive monologue constantly analyzes and compares to past fear episodes and keeps repeating its going to take me down.Have a daughter just  thrugh surgery today, and a previous surgery I was on top of it all, and still on meds. This time I am a total mess, six months later. Feeling so much doom and dread its got me freaked out. Going to try for sleep. Glad to hear your back on the brigght side Stevie. I am always  boosted by your posts.

[[2w...]]

I'm just hitting 6 months.

 

My symptoms are:

 

Flight - wanting to pack my bag......and leave

Emotional, moody, angry, sad

feel like I have the worse flu ever

severe fatigue, sluggish

d/r, d/p

metallic taste- worst so far

fearful thoughts, dread

tingling in hands/feet

severe sensitivity to sound

anxiety not so much

 

I'm praying these are signs of progress. I do feel different, more alert, but no too happy with my relationships

now that I'm awake. It's probably just me.........nothing feels normal

 

Thanks,

Lou

[[St...]]

It's a fair comparison. Our withdrawal is our normal fears and anxieties amplified many times. Once we're back to our version of normal, we'll feel normal fear and anxiety over life's challenges. It's normal to get frazzled and lose sleep over stressful events. I don't want to be numbed by drugs anymore. I hope your daughter's surgery was successful and the outcome is positive. I'm having anxiety over my own upcoming surgery and I keep wanting to take something to calm down. Not going to happen. If I lose sleep over it or feel nervous. That's normal. I'll take it! The doom and dread is part of the withdrawal. I hate it. But it's going to pass. Try to replace negative thoughts with positive even if it's just how beautiful the sky is or something mundane. You're going to be ok.

[[WT...]]

Month four was like that for me too. I had serious doubts I would be able to make it without some kind of help be it a drug or counseling but, I got through it and the beast lost another battle. You will too. Just give it time to pass. That's all we can do. Odd as bad as I felt the past four days, today I felt completely normal even with lack of sleep the past few nights. So hang in there guys and gals. It gets rough. It'll test your will and patience. It will definitely test your soul. Don't give in no matter how hard it gets. It won't hurt you. It's not permanent. It will only make us stronger and we will appreciate normalcy that much more when, not if, when we get it back. Think of the soldiers deployed for a year or more. Their outcome isn't known but they fight on for their cause. Our outcome is known and we're safe from harm regarding our enemy within. We're fighting something inside us that's dying. Don't feed it. Outlast it and let it pass.

 

I always love your take on the "Beast", Stevie.    It WILL go down, and we WILL prevail!

[[re...]]

I spent 6 hours in the city today with a friend. Museums and dinner.  I was dragging my fanny a few times but by gum, I did it. I felt anxious a few times but breathed through it. I am most definitely getting better. No way I could have done that at 4 or 5 months when the fear took over my life. I am still anxious on the morning with some dp/dr. I have my usual burning, tingling etc. Today had tooth/jaw pain and realized that had gone away for awhile.

 

My black depression is lifting. I have some joy in life even if it just a few minutes a day. I am more hopeful that I will heal 100%. I say that in a whisper so the beast wont hear me and decide to mess with me.

 

North, hang in there. I PROMISE you will feel better. This is NOT you. ITs you in wd. Poor Zoe had to remind me all the time. And she was right. As my old authentic self peeks through from time to time I am reassured this nightmare will slip into the memory books. 

[[Sc...]]

That is great, Recoveringfrombenzos!

 

I am really suffering right now, but somehow managed to go to a friend's house for what was going to be an hour visit and it turned into a 7 hour visit.  Had a great time even though I had a TON of physical anxiety feelings.  My friends are very understanding and my husband/daughter were there, so I guess I felt "safe".  I found month 4 very hard, and 5 is proving to be the same but there's more "mental" this time (month 4 was mainly physical". 

 

We are all in this together and we'll all beat it.  I have many fears, but I can stand up to the fears better now I think. 

 

Love and hugs to you all,

Schatje

[[re...]]

That is great, Recoveringfrombenzos!

 

I am really suffering right now, but somehow managed to go to a friend's house for what was going to be an hour visit and it turned into a 7 hour visit.  Had a great time even though I had a TON of physical anxiety feelings.  My friends are very understanding and my husband/daughter were there, so I guess I felt "safe".  I found month 4 very hard, and 5 is proving to be the same but there's more "mental" this time (month 4 was mainly physical". 

 

We are all in this together and we'll all beat it.  I have many fears, but I can stand up to the fears better now I think. 

 

Love and hugs to you all,

Schatje

 

Glad you got out and coped. Hope things continue to improve for you quickly. my 5th month was by far more mental for me too. Of course you can stand up to the fear. I keep telling myself I only have to do this for today. I have stopped future tripping as much as possible. Staying in the moment helps.

[[2w...]]

At 129 days, am getting hit with some stress related depression. It is worse because I had been feeling a lot better. It is so discouraging to feel yuorself slipping down the slide after having climbed up so far. I'm just sick and tired of not knowing what each day will bring. It helps talking to my therapist, just to say all of the negative thoughts and get some encouragement.

 

Keep getting up every day everyone!

Hi Cantbelieveit,

 

I will pray that you're depression will lift. I really appreciate you posting that Bible verse and the link to you version. I believe that is our most

powerful tool during this time.

 

God Bless,

Lou

[[Sa...]]

RFB!

 

I hope you are ok Sound like everythings good. I'm getting better, although I still struggle sometimes.  Things are getter better and there is hope.  Stay in there, it's worth it.  Don't dare give up