Post Benzo Protracted Withdrawal Support Group

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Oh and forgot the horrid teeth pain!  Yikes!

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Welcome to BenzoBuddies Stronger ... I added you to the protracted list ... you are #66 of people that post here who still have bad symptoms over 18 months off.  What is your benzo-free date?  It really is hard to know which drug w/d is causing what ... we just know it hurts.  Stupid drugs.  I have certainly heard alot of negative reports of people coming off Effexor too.

 

Looks like your body is protecting you from becoming pregnant while it is still in recovery mode.  Ya think?  For a healthy baby you might need a healthy vessel for it to grow in.

 

It's great that you are functioning well despite all the symptoms you still have.    May they resolve completely in the next year.  You've done a terrific job to come this far.  YAY you!!!

 

 

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Thanks Whoopsie.

 

It sure has been a long haul for sure.  My benzo free date was August of 2010.  Can't remember the exact day at this moment but I know I have it marked down somewhere.

 

Yeah my hope is that maybe I'll do some healing soon and when I'm ready ovulation will kick in.  I am approaching my 37th birthday and know that if I hadn't had to deal with these horrid meds for the past 6 years, my husband and I would have already have had one more baby.  I stay at home too which has also helped a ton in my healing.  I just know my clock is ticking....I just refuse to let this withdrawal take anything else from me.  So hopefully in time....I just wish I understood more about what these meds do to our hormones.  I mean it's pretty scary what these meds can do and then to keep someone from ovulating and temporarily infertile is creepy too. 

 

#66.  Wow.  That is comforting in a way and not in another.  I'm sad to see so many people still suffering and it makes me wonder exactly what is the average timeline to 100%.  I know I spent a ton of time on the paxil progress site while going through my Effexor withdrawal and saw an average of 3-5 years for most people for ssri/snri withdrawal.  My hope is that the next few months or year will bring some big time healing....for all of us! 

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Thanks for responding Stronger, I put your date on the list, it's close enough.  Yes, now I see why you'd like to get pregnant as soon as possible ... unbelievable what has happened to your body in that regard, creepy is a good word for it.  Okay, I wondered if you'd been at Paxil Progress to get support before this.  So, 3 - 5 years ... oh boy.  Well I got almost the first 3 years under my belt so I guess I'm doing great but I can see it will be another year or two before I feel like a normal human being (if I ever did that is)  LOL.

 

Ya, I know what you mean on the #66 ... two sides to that knowledge ... you definitely aren't alone.

 

Again welcome and hope you find some comfort here. 

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Sign me up to this thread. I've been drug free  for 21 months and still suffering. Does that make me number 67?

 

I'd really like to compare notes and to find if there's anyone out there with an experience similar to mine.  I've really been fighting  with protracted withdrawal on my own and not really discussing it. Reading on benzo forums, yes. But not really interacting.

 

I was on what I thought was  a relatively low dose of oxazepam(SERAX) app 15mg/day for about 15 years. Due to various problem, up dosed to 60mgs. After trying to quit cold turkey I realised I was hooked. Withdrawal was so terrible. I went back on. With some help started a slow taper, starting with 20mgs valium. I completed this in about 6months. (Jan 2010) And it seemed I'd beaten the thing. 

 

Unfortunately during the taper I started to drink more alcohol than normal(up to about 12units most days). I know it sounds ridiculous but I didn't know about interactions between benzos and alcohol. How dumb was I? I now realise my body was trying to compensate for the lack of benzos and booze was providing me with some relief from the withdrawal. After the taper I carried on drinking for 5months. I thought I was ill with something else or had turned into an alcoholic but I was very sick with some moments of relief when drinking. I didn't realise I was going in and out of withdrawal.

 

I stopped drinking June 2010. Ten days later Bingo! full-blown withdrawal symptoms arrived. Full battalion. Pure hell. Tinnitus, DP/DR, muscle pains, blurred vision, head pressure, insomnia, tiredness, deep depression etc. How many do I name?

 

It's now been twenty one months since I stopped drinking. Longer for the benzos (I tend to date things from the moment I stopped the drinking) and I'm still suffering. Not as bad as in the beginning but still bad.  My main symptoms are muscle pains, tinnitus, dp (not as bad as it was) sleep problems, visual problems.

 

What I'd like to know is; has anyone gone on the same type of journey as mine? I feel that the combination of booze and benzos has prolonged my withdrawal or maybe it would have been bad anyway. I don't know. Can anybody just give me some indication that I'm not alone, and possibly offer some hope of recovery. Normally I'm pretty stoical about eventual recovery and live each day as it comes? I dream of the man I used to be like everybody else. And every once and a while it feels I could reach out and touch that guy for a brief moment. Just long enough to keep me hopeful.

 

Hey. Shake it off. I'm a struggling script writer (though you'd hardly know from this junk.) and still managing to write most days. So hey it's not so terrible. Roll on the Academy Awards 2015. There's optimism for you. The first benzo withdrawal movie anybody? Might be a bit short on action. Car chases, shoot-outs, bedroom acrobatics, that sort of thing. Still you never know. Don't look under comedy. 

 

 

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Hi Buddies,

I m new to this forum but have been of benzos now for almost 33 months. Excuse my english, it s not my first language...

Sorry to se so many suffering after so long time 

I ve had bad times, better times but not yet a good time. For a cuple of weeks I have had a bad dizzynes and lot s of anxiety and some other stuff. Trying to talk myself into that this is the withdrawel and it will get better...

Anyone else here that have withdrawel problems so far out? I will read throw this protracted withdrawal support group as soon as I can.

Take care all,

Ak

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Sign me up to this thread. I've been drug free  for 21 months and still suffering. Does that make me number 67?

 

I'd really like to compare notes and to find if there's anyone out there with an experience similar to mine.  I've really been fighting  with protracted withdrawal on my own and not really discussing it. Reading on benzo forums, yes. But not really interacting.

 

I was on what I thought was  a relatively low dose of oxazepam(SERAX) app 15mg/day for about 15 years. Due to various problem, up dosed to 60mgs. After trying to quit cold turkey I realised I was hooked. Withdrawal was so terrible. I went back on. With some help started a slow taper, starting with 20mgs valium. I completed this in about 6months. (Jan 2010) And it seemed I'd beaten the thing. 

 

Unfortunately during the taper I started to drink more alcohol than normal(up to about 12units most days). I know it sounds ridiculous but I didn't know about interactions between benzos and alcohol. How dumb was I? I now realise my body was trying to compensate for the lack of benzos and booze was providing me with some relief from the withdrawal. After the taper I carried on drinking for 5months. I thought I was ill with something else or had turned into an alcoholic but I was very sick with some moments of relief when drinking. I didn't realise I was going in and out of withdrawal.

 

I stopped drinking June 2010. Ten days later Bingo! full-blown withdrawal symptoms arrived. Full battalion. Pure hell. Tinnitus, DP/DR, muscle pains, blurred vision, head pressure, insomnia, tiredness, deep depression etc. How many do I name?

 

It's now been twenty one months since I stopped drinking. Longer for the benzos (I tend to date things from the moment I stopped the drinking) and I'm still suffering. Not as bad as in the beginning but still bad.  My main symptoms are muscle pains, tinnitus, dp (not as bad as it was) sleep problems, visual problems.

 

What I'd like to know is; has anyone gone on the same type of journey as mine? I feel that the combination of booze and benzos has prolonged my withdrawal or maybe it would have been bad anyway. I don't know. Can anybody just give me some indication that I'm not alone, and possibly offer some hope of recovery. Normally I'm pretty stoical about eventual recovery and live each day as it comes? I dream of the man I used to be like everybody else. And every once and a while it feels I could reach out and touch that guy for a brief moment. Just long enough to keep me hopeful.

 

Hey. Shake it off. I'm a struggling script writer (though you'd hardly know from this junk.) and still managing to write most days. So hey it's not so terrible. Roll on the Academy Awards 2015. There's optimism for you. The first benzo withdrawal movie anybody? Might be a bit short on action. Car chases, shoot-outs, bedroom acrobatics, that sort of thing. Still you never know. Don't look under comedy.

 

Hi Lionasi, welcome to BenzoBuddies ... you are #65, already got you the other day by reading one of your posts on the forum.    Looks like the next poster Star123 is #67.  This list in unofficial, I just made it for myself to not feel so alone in the protracted withdrawal syndrome.  I understand that you would like to connect with someone who experienced the same as you did with the drinking.  I'm sure there are others here who did what you did ... I hope you find them to provide comfort for yourself and not feel alone with that.  I find the isolation to be one of the most awful parts of this.

 

Ya, a benzo movie ... probably a horror show with a happy, victorious ending.  Someone mentioned on the forum the other day what derealization would look like depicted in a movie.  I remembered having the same thought when I went thru that part of it.  Wondering how on earth you could show that to people so they could see what it is like.  Roll on Academy Awards 2015 LOL.

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Just wanted to vent a little today...Its my daughters 20th birthday...this is her third b-day that I have been in benzo sickness. I wish I was better...I wish my feet didnt hurt so badly all the time. Im just so worn out...like everyone else here. You are all in my thoughts...

I used to write to people and tell them that I was praying for them...I have had a crisis of faith...not really for my own pain but for all the injustices in the world...starving children, abused animals, homeless old people, I just dont understand it...anyway one good thing, I baked my daughter a chocolate chip cheese cake...I know she will like it...Im so blessed to have a kid who is so easy to please. I am blessed in lots of ways really  

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Hey Colleen,

 

You have such a positive attitude!  I could really relate to your post as I too had to miss out on SO much with my kids since they are very young and it's been a long journey through all this.  However, now I am pretty much able to participate in most anything with them and not miss out anymore.  Trust me when I say that by this time next year, you will most likely be able to celebrate that 21st birthday with her and not be stuck in this so much!  You will get back to making those memories....

 

Thinking of you!

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Hi Stronger, thanks so much for writing me...it really means a lot! Thats so nice to hear that you are able to join in the activities now with your kids. How r u doing? I will look at your previous posts to learn a little more about you...its very nice meeting you though I really try to stay positive...but it takes a lot of energy...I do a lot of self talk lol, it really wears me out. 

Yup, my girl was so happy with her cheesecake...as I thought she would be...she lights up my life and is what keeps me going. We went out and bought some clothes and perfume. Lol...I know Im getting too old to pick out stuff for her...but Im glad she found some things she liked.

All my love to the BBs...you mean so much to me and Im grateful to all of you. We are doing this...we are going to be just fine.

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Been wondering how my fellow protracted buddies are doing.  Has anyone had any significant changes?  I still struggle with major food intolerances, so I keep waiting.  I've been having a reacurrance of that pinching pain above my belly button and in between my ribs in the center of  my stomach.  Also lately, I feel a tiny burning sensation in my back around my spine area.  Anyone relate to this?

 

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Hi Lislis, Ive had some improvements lately...my balance is better...Im not vibrating as much, this was a big one for me, I had strong vibes everyday from the chest down...I felt like I could hearmyself vibrating...also my teeth twirling sx I think is starting to go away...Ive felt like my teeth and the roof of my mouth were moving...Ive had this since detox every minute with no let up...for the last week or so I get breaks that last several minutes and I get these breaks several times a day...Im so happy about this because its an awful sx...I only know of one other person who had this...I do relate to the pinching you feel but I have it in my feet...my feet are still extremely painful all the time. I hope you notice some big improvements very soon. Take care. Colleen

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Hi Colleen - I've had inner vibrations my whole duration to the point of feeling I could hear it too.  I also has teen sensations too, but not as much.  The fact you are seeing breaks, shows that healing is definitly taking place, which is great.  It is a slow process, but in time I know you'll see lots of improvements.  It was nice to hear from you!

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So thankful for this thread.  Very good idea.  Must go ahead and put my name on this too as another one in protracted withdrawal.  I went through a horrific Effexor withdrawal and have been 50 months away from that.  Then after that, tapered the .5 mg of Xanax (7 month taper) I had been on for almost four years.  So currently am almost at the 20 months off mark in one more week.  I have healed a ton along the way but the plateaus last soooo long and I think that's where I am at right now.  This is what I am left with:

 

Head symptoms-this accounts for the majority of my symptoms.  Helium head, nerve pains in temples, sometimes base of skull, and other hot spots in the head, tinnitus low grade but still there especially after overdoing.  Some strange and constant pressure in the sinus area in the front of my face with pressure behind the eyes a ton and that nasal burning of nerves that at times feels like menthol is in my nose.  Histamine also only in the mornings and at night.  Head aches that can range from mild to severe.  Occasional wonky vision from overstimulation.  Massage does help some with the head symptoms.

 

Occasional sleep problems-sometimes out of the blue 3 hours of sleep.  Occasional nightmares.

 

Occasional GI upset although this has improved majorly over a long long period of time. 

 

Occasional burning chest when overdoing which I kind of wonder if it's connected to the GI upset at times.

 

Weight gain-this is one of my most frustrating since I eat VERY healthy and exercise can still be difficult at times especially for the head symptoms.

 

PMS problems-NEVER had any issues with this until withdrawal. Cycles are running at 35+ days and are severe but short.  Acne like I have never had before since I NEVER had acne.  Lots of oily face.  Pains.  Sleep gets bad at this time as well.  Also been trying to conceive since November and not ovulating.  Had some hormone panels done and everything is "normal" even thyroid which suprises me since I know this has been an issue in the past with withdrawal.  Tried progesterone cream some and although it made some things better, made other things worse like anxiety/cortisol. 

 

I think that's about it.  I know it still sounds like a lot but I do function pretty well despite all these.  I just wish these things would go so that I could get my life back completely!  Whew!  Feels good to get this out to people that understand and hopefully this will help others.  Sometimes I wonder if it's still leftover stuff from the Effexor, or if this is all the benzo.  Hard to tell and impossible to figure out so I just keep pushing forward in hopes that someday it will all be healed!  I just can't believe how long it all takes. 

this is how i am feeling today

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Is anyone like me? Reluctant to reply to general threads. Every now and again I read a thread and think yes I've got something positive to say on that. Then I think, hey I'm 21 months out and still suffering. No matter what I say it's only going to discourage those who are tapering or just a few months out. So I don't comment. That's not all the time. But most times.

 

Do we therefore just hide out in the ghetto of protracted withdrawal or say it like it is to the others. The truth of the matter is this. Protracted withdrawal exists and it can be very long indeed. Best to know this I think. Best to be realistic. Any comments?

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Is anyone like me? Reluctant to reply to general threads. Every now and again I read a thread and think yes I've got something positive to say on that. Then I think, hey I'm 21 months out and still suffering. No matter what I say it's only going to discourage those who are tapering or just a few months out. So I don't comment. That's not all the time. But most times.

 

Do we therefore just hide out in the ghetto of protracted withdrawal or say it like it is to the others. The truth of the matter is this. Protracted withdrawal exists and it can be very long indeed. Best to know this I think. Best to be realistic. Any comments?

 

Hey liosnasi.

 

I can understand your reluctancy. I've felt the same way. But I think we all have something to offer and while this thread might be a better place to post concerned that are specifically about the length of recovery, I think general (help-seeking) posts and support posts are not only a good thing, but a truthful and transparent thing that I think our fellow buddies really value. In short, I think we have a lot to offer and needn't worry to much about telling it like it is. I mean it is what it is and everybody has the right to know that. Who knows, maybe some post from you will help get some other buddy through a tough night and keep them from reinstating.

 

Anyway, here's my daily whine:

20 months off and seemed to have plateaued. Right now feeling lots of muscle pain in my back (old back injury), lethargy, and not sleeping as well as I was a few months ago. No big deal, but it's getting olde. I am so convinced that nicotine usage (patch  and lozenges) is playing into this revving me up by day, and wine bringing me down again at night is SO hard on my system. It's a small rollercoaster of ups and downs, compared to the giant rollercoaster that is benzo use, abuse, w/d and recovery. Anyway, I've beaten benzos, Ambien, antidepressants, opiate pain killers, muscle relaxors, caffeine and a couple more. Those are outta my life. So, 6 or 8 down, and 2 to go. Look out nicotine and alcohol... you're next!!!

 

Wish me luck!!!

 

Peace out,

 

Albie

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Hey Fellow Protracted Buds,

 

Read a post by Lionasi,made me think why I do not post much,hit the nail on the head,I think I really would scare alot of sufferers.I was somewhat short term low dose 4 months,and I am still very much in it still at 23 months.

I have alot of wisdom gained from this long term nightmare but have gotten several PMs and I felt I had to defend myself and calm a few down,the end result I just felt more alone and tortured

 

Not sure why it takes some of us soo long to recover,genetics I guess,a too quick a dry taper maybe.But I too am so worn out,I never thought I be this tortured at this point,I have removed every calendar from sight,the days of the week could care less.

 

I recently came down with mono,I have no idea how I got it,but my partner also was diagnosed,but with a compromised immune system I guess another battle to get thru I shouldnt be surprised.

I hope I make it to the other side of this,I share the same fears with all of you,the small flickers of hope keep me going maybe ,just maybe I will recover.

But to scare others here is a huge burden at times,I wish not to hurt anyone but inflated fears are part of our lives for now the simple nature of this nightmare alas.

 

A Normal Life Wish to All,

Rondo

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Hey Albie, Rondo and the rest...

That's great Albie that you have knocked six of eight to the curb .  Do you think you'll go for the nicotine next or the alcohol?  Sorry you've had resurgence of back pain.  By the way, have you seen the series "The Big C"?  Good show and takes place in your home state .

 

Rondo. No doubt it's frustrating as you approach two years out and still have issues to deal with.  I'm 28 months out and mostly healed.  I did have an immune system malfunction just two months off the valium, got Shingles.  I was under a lot of stress at the time.  The fact is that these things can happen, I suppose at random.  I thought you only got Shingles in your sixties and yet there I was in my forties!  By the way, I was also low dose for a short period.  Hope your mono gets better soon.

 

I believe the CNS can be quite vulnerable to stress in the first couple years off the benzo.  I don't necessarily think it means you are necessarily protracted either.  I agree that genetics can play a big role.  I had a few strikes against me in terms of pre benzo anxiety.  My mother had panic attacks and was on several benzos in her fifties and sixties.  It's a wonder I ever tried a benzo with that history.  I had anxiety before benzos and no surprise to me that I do after benzos. 

 

I don't want to offend anyone but I wonder how much is really protracted versus pre benzo issues that are coming back to some degree?  I mean, most of us took a benzo for a reason, right?  Just food for thought.

 

Vertigo

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Hey Vertigo,

 

Good post,in my case I was given ativan for a so called panic attack,not the case at all ,yes I had a panic attack but because Docs missed a begign tumor in my colon that was just making awful sick for a couple of months,just couldnt eat,kept loosing huge weight- well that would create anxiety in anyone. Here take this it will help with the GI issues-oh well that's my story otherwise I was never ever sick before with any mental issue-zippo nodda!!!

 

Now I am a mental case for sure,anxiety everyday,mornings the worst better by mid day,dr off and on,weakness,fatigue yada yada yada.

When did it let up for you?,I feel like it will go on forever every single day just about!!!

 

Normal Life -Super for you,the other side of this hill called Nightmare.

 

Rondomanic

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Hey Rondo.

I felt relatively well by about 6 months (80% or so)  but I made the mistake of indulging in alcohol, junk food, coffee, sodas... during that first summer off valium in 2010 and ended up having a pretty big setback at 9 months (GI symptoms, high BP, cog fog, jelly legs...).  Then I lost weight really fast on a low carb diet and weight lifting too much, so although the BP went back down,  I ended up with some revved up symptoms at a year off.  Then came another wave at 14 months when we got a puppy, which resulted in some restless sleep for a couple weeks, housebreaking was rough, some health issues for the dog... (above average stress in the household) basically it all kind of set me into a bit of a tailspin with insomnia and even had a brief relapse of vertigo.

 

It started to turn around at 16 months and by 18 months, felt like I was 95% of the way there.  I also had GI symptoms by the way including a hemmerhoid, some leakage issues off and on...  This fortunately went away and I recently had a clear colonoscopy.

 

Unfortunately, I still feel that I'm not quite 100%.  I still react to stress a little more sensitively than I used to and I still don't sleep 8 hours but manage somewhere between 6 and 7 most of the time.  Overall, in 9 of 10 areas, I'm better than before benzos.  There's just a couple areas that are not quite where I'd like them.  I also get some fatigue in the afternoons but I had that before benzos and expect it's a reaction to being anxious... again something I had before benzos and for which I first took the benzo.  I'd say my anxiety is about 10 to 15% higher than it was before benzos so still have a ways to go to reach 100%.  Then again, about a year ago, anxiety was about 40% higher than it was before benzos, when we first got that dog,  so progress has been made.

 

Vertigo

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Dearest Protracted BB's....

 

Havent been on this thread for awhile.  Although still struggling @ 23 months off, I've decided to get myself a Welsh Springer Spaniel Puppy soon , as I had to give away my beautiful just-trained Cocker Spaniel Puppy when all this mess started nearly 2 years ago.  Turns out it was a supremely wise decision in hindsight - for both her & I (as I live totally alone).

 

So now I'm about to go get myself a NEW BABY - I cant wait.  Anyway I found this gorgeous youtube video of Springer Spaniels with the music/words - just SO APPROPRIATE to how I feel GRATITUDE-WISE about this site, all that have replied to my posts/questions, informed/explained, reassured, befriended, advised/warned or encouraged me here.

 

Wanted to put this out there for ALL who have helped me....to HONOUR YOU   . I hope you blub  , just like I did when I heard it.  I think the words are SO beautifully appropriate....also in total honour 1st & foremost to my amazing Mum too, who has stood by me through this ALL....thank you ALL from the bottom of my heart...We are FIERCE WARRIORS!!!!!!!      you'll need your speakers on...

 

(You Raise Me Up...)

 

Sincerely, With Love, Hugs & Prayers & Continued Speedy Healing to you all

 

xoxoxo Ruth in New Zealand xoxoxo

[[ve...]]

Hi Ruthiealison. A dog can be very helpful on this journey but just a word of caution. Housebreaking a puppy can really add a lot of stress this situation, at least it did for me. You already know something about this, having posted about having to give your other dog away when you were starting this process. The question I have is whether it makes sense to get a puppy now vs a year or two old housebroken dog? Or perhaps there is a compromise which is essentially what we did, got a puppy that was almost a year old, so although not housebroken, had a little bit of training and a bigger bladder! Despite that, I had a rough few weeks when we got that dog. I was about 14 months off valium and thought I was ready to handle it. It really seemed to rev up my anxiety and quite a bit of sleeplessness with the early wake ups to let him out of the crate. I do recommend crate training by the way. Anyhow, just be sure that you can take the stress of it all. It was a good month or two before I really settled down the anxiety and insomnia.  I can say that a year later, it's been a pleasure to have the dog but just the other day, he started whining at around 3AM and had to be taken out to go do his business . Luckily it doesn't happen every night!

 

Good luck,

 

Vertigo

[[Al...]]

 

That's great Albie that you have knocked six of eight to the curb .  Do you think you'll go for the nicotine next or the alcohol?  Sorry you've had resurgence of back pain.  By the way, have you seen the series "The Big C"?  Good show and takes place in your home state .

 

I don't want to offend anyone but I wonder how much is really protracted versus pre benzo issues that are coming back to some degree?  I mean, most of us took a benzo for a reason, right?  Just food for thought.

 

Vertigo

 

Hey John,

 

Good to hear from you, as always. I will definitely work on nicotine first, because I'm far more dependent on it than alcohol. When I don't have any wine for a few nights, it's no big deal... no withdrawal... I just enjoy it, so I usually have a few glasses. But I know it would be better for my sleep and blood pressure, so I'd like to cut back a bit.  But nicotine... oh, that's a whole 'nother story. I'm am addicted to the core. So it's been my real nemesis for years. I've tried to quit so many times, I know it's a really tough one for me. This time I'm trying a taper method instead of C/T.  Ironically, however, the only time I succeeded (for 3 years) was when I did C/T (from smoking) but I just don't feel like I'm up for that much W/D, especially while not yet feeling 100% from benzo recovery.

 

I've never seen the show "The Big C". I'll have to check that out.

I don't want to offend anyone but I wonder how much is really protracted versus pre benzo issues that are coming back to some degree?  I mean, most of us took a benzo for a reason, right?  Just food for thought.

 

No offense taken, whatsoever, John. And, ah yes that's a bit of a trick, trying to sort out what's just pre benzo issues and what's really related to benzos. For me, I'd consider myself 85% healed and the only symptoms I think are truly benzo-related are sleep issues (waking up in the middle of the night) -- I'd say that's 90% benzo-related, because that almost never happened pre benzos. Morning anxiety, 50% benzo-related, and probably 50% nicotine-related. (I had none when I was nicotine-free). Back pain 10% benzo-related, 40% nicotine-related and 50% injury-, out-of-shape-, and stress-related. But, of course, those are just my best guesses. I figure I'll have a true baseline as to what's what when I get off of the nicotine too; it's such a strong stimulant, and it's so integral to my current chemistry, it's hard to gauge how much better I'd sleep and how more my muscles would relax once I was free of it and over the withdrawal of it. So, that's when I'll try to gauge what my real baseline is.

 

I am happy, however, to report that my anxiety levels, though still there, are completely tolerable and less than they have been in years. The only time I remember them being any lower (and almost zero) was, you guessed it, during the 3 years I was off of nicotine. That nicotine is another devilish drug. And it's a nasty W/D too, but heck, it ain't benzo W/D and I thank God for that!

 

Hope all is well. Great to see you still here supporting your fellow Buddies.

 

All my best to you,

 

Albie

[Guest [ru...]]

Hi Ruthiealison. A dog can be very helpful on this journey but just a word of caution. Housebreaking a puppy can really add a lot of stress this situation, at least it did for me. You already know something about this, having posted about having to give your other dog away when you were starting this process. The question I have is whether it makes sense to get a puppy now vs a year or two old housebroken dog? Or perhaps there is a compromise which is essentially what we did, got a puppy that was almost a year old, so although not housebroken, had a little bit of training and a bigger bladder! Despite that, I had a rough few weeks when we got that dog. I was about 14 months off valium and thought I was ready to handle it. It really seemed to rev up my anxiety and quite a bit of sleeplessness with the early wake ups to let him out of the crate. I do recommend crate training by the way. Anyhow, just be sure that you can take the stress of it all. It was a good month or two before I really settled down the anxiety and insomnia.  I can say that a year later, it's been a pleasure to have the dog but just the other day, he started whining at around 3AM and had to be taken out to go do his business . Luckily it doesn't happen every night!

 

Good luck,

 

Vertigo

 

Hi Vertigo,

 

Yeah no doubt it will add ALOT of extra stress I dont need at the mo.  I DID look at Rescue dogs from the pound, but NONE that had the nature I am after.  Some were even infested with bad skin conditions upon closer inspection  .  So yeah I DID consider that route as a compromise/alternative, also ALOT cheaper too...but it IS the spaniel nature I am after & they dont get too many of those AT ALL at the Pound they said (which is what I thought)  :'(  so a no go in that department....

 

No doubt it IS extremely bad timing as I am still struggling so severely, but with NO-ONE here now to mother, care for, relate to etc etc etc etc....no I wouldnt go for crate training either!!!  I still struggle badly with upside down sleep cycles etc too.  I know I dont need the extra stress of it AT all, but I DO need a little cutie to focus on & someone to relate to here as living by myself nowdays is just driving me bananas, whilst waiting out this protracted crap. So its like a catch 22.  I was hoping it might be just the thing I need to help me refocus somewhat, give me a bit more PURPOSE etc.  I could wait for YET another 6 months or so for the next lot to be born but....I need the companionship like NOW 

[[ve...]]

Yea, it would be great to find a shelter rescue dog but if you know exactly what you're looking for, you can go with the breeder (we did last time).  You can also look up Petfinders.com and punch in what you're looking for and miles/distance and if you're willing to drive some distance, you might get lucky with the breed you want.  We ended up with a rescue dog which admittedly did need some medical attention but he's so sweet and as if he knows we saved his life.  By the way, he loves his crate.  He goes in there voluntarily in the day even when we're home, likes the cold of it in contrast to the carpet sometimes.  When we turn the tv off at night, he goes straight in there, has a great routine.  We used to have our last dog sleep with us but he made so much noise and with all the insomnia I had over the last few years, just couldn't do it this time.  Sometimes you just want a break and it's so nice to be able to do that.  If you crate train a dog properly, it can be great for owner and dog, just my opinion.  As long as you realize it's not going to be all fun and games.  I really don't know how I would have survived without a crate.  Puppies can be so rambunctious.  Be sure you're ready for this now Ruthie!  It's hard to turn back once you bring them home.  Dogs need exercise and to do their business, regardless of whether we are feeling agoraphobic or "panicky" or just "lazy" .

 

Vertigo